food made her feel better, she loved her cookies and chips and candy bars.

well, until she was done eating them, and then it was back through the same cycle of self hatred.

she hated herself for eating so much, but because she hated herself, she ate to feel better.

she didn't really feel better.

she would do her best to suppress her appetite at school, purposefully not bringing money so she wouldn't be able to buy food to eat.

but as soon as she got home, she would make a beeline for the pantry, stocked with a plethora of bags and containers of delicious things to eat.

she started keeping snacks in her room, for the late nights where she'd stay up and fret about her weight,

desperately trying to just eat her pain away.

~~~
i was never a binger when i was overweight, but i feel like every story about eating disorders is always about anorexia or bulimia. we never talk about binge eating disorder, and it is real, and it needs to be talked about.