Malia

Ugh. This was not going like I thought it would. I never should have kissed Jasper. Now not only is my friendship ruined, but I'm potentially a home wrecker.

I always told myself I wouldn't be that person. After seeing mom come home with countless married men, I swore that I would never ever be someone's second choice. I really thought it was over between them. I really thought what happened meant something.

But how could it mean something if he was going out on a date with Cami tonight? He said nothing when I told him to tell her. He said nothing at all. He just let me walk away. How could he just let me walk away?

I grip the sheets on my bed, pulling them up over my face and letting myself cry over all of it. I never should have played that stupid game.

Why though? Why is it so important to Blair that I not be shared? I want so badly to be able to be around Jasper without her blowing a fuse. It's not like she would get put on the back burner or become anything less to me. Why is she so protective of me? Why is it such a big deal that she's willing to toss away our friendship over it?

Who cares that something happened in that room? What's it to her? It obviously meant nothing to Jasper. Just a good time. I was just a game.

Fuck that hurts. I think it hurts more than Blair basically telling me to get lost.

I want to text her and apologize so badly, but I don't. I won't let her control me like this. I didn't do anything wrong. She has no right to be mad.

I close my eyes again and force myself to sleep. I need to forget about this and move on. I need to think about anything else.

"Malia, today meant everything to me. Tell me it meant something to you too." Jasper says, his knuckles stroking my cheek softly.

I nod and lean in to his touch.

"I've been in love with you for seven years Jasper." I say quietly, closing my eyes and nuzzling into his hand.

Jasper leans in, kissing my lips softly and pulling me into his lap. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him back forcefully. His skilled fingers run up my shirt, touching me in places I never thought he would.

"I want you Malia." He says, holding me tighter.

I moan, pressing my body closer to his. My back arches as his fingers trace over my bra. I'm ready to give myself completely to him.

"Do you want me too Malia?" He asks, his fingers still producing magic that swells in my stomach and pools between my legs.

Jasper's left hand traces up my thigh, his eyes smoldering with want and need.

"Yes." I breathe.

"Yes what?" He asks, inching closer and closer to my core.

"Yes I want you." I say, grabbing his hand and pushing it where I want it.

"Fuck sweetness. You're so hot for me."

Jasper teasingly touches me, feather light, and I moan again.

He pulls my shirt off, throwing it to the floor. His right hand unclasps my bra and slides it slowly down my arms. I'm panting and practically begging him to hurry up and take me.

"Please Jas." I cry out.

He stares affectionately at me, his teeth biting into his lower lip. I pull him to me, kissing him forcefully and recklessly.

His hands are everywhere, burning every inch of my exposed skin. Desire courses through me as his tongue slides in to battle with mine for dominance.

I press my bare chest against him, and a low growl escapes his lips, swallowed by my mouth.

"Please Jas." I say again, rolling my hips up his length.

"God." He says. "I think I love you."

His mouth works it's way down my chin, kissing and sucking to the hollow of my neck. I throw my head back in ecstasy and moan loudly.

Jasper's fingers trace gently up my spine, pushing my shoulders so our bodies are connected. His fingers grip my hair, pulling it hard and I cry out in pleasure.

"You taste amazing sweetness." He says, nipping at my ear and neck.

"Jasper please." I say again.

"Tell me what you want sweetness."

His eyes are hooded and needy as he looks into my eyes.

"I want you to take me." I say.

A smile crosses his lips as he kisses me again.

"I'm afraid I can't do that sweetness." He says.

His fingers grip into my butt, pushing me off him.

"This was just a game to me. I just wanted to see how far you would go."

I wake up abruptly, panting and covered in sweat. God that had felt so real. I can still feel his hands on me. Was this what I had to look forward to? Nightmares about how I was just a game to him?

I glance at my phone. It's after nine. I wonder if he's kissing Cami the way he kissed me this afternoon. I shake my head, not wanting to think about that and open the message thread.

I'm sorry. -M

I said I wouldn't give in, but I can't stand to fight with her. She's all I've got, and I'm not willing to throw it away for some stupid guy who doesn't even want me anyways.

A few seconds later my phone pings.

You need to make up with Blair. I can't stand this. -J

I know Jasper. I know.

I don't answer him. I can't answer him. It hurts too much. It doesn't matter anyways, the text was from earlier, right after he dropped me off.

I'm sorry too. Can I please call Jasper to come and get you? I want you to come back. We can work this out. -B

I don't want to bother him on his date. I don't know if I can even look at him right now without breaking down. I can only imagine him touching her the way he touched me. Only for her, it isn't a game. It's not some dare that he's forced to do.

More tears fall as I think about it. I don't know if I can go back yet.

I can't. I have some things to take care of at home. -M

Blair doesn't answer. I can only imagine she's mad again. Maybe I should go. Maybe she needs me as much as I need her. Can I face him? Can I look at him without breaking down?

No.

I toss my phone aside and lay back down. It's hot, but I pull my sheets over my head.

I can hear my mom laughing in the next room. The sucking sounds of the man who she is with leaves nothing to imagination.

Here we go again.

I pull the sheets tighter, burying my face into the pillows. Ten minutes pass and I block out all sounds.

Jasper. Kissing.

I need to stop. I need to stop letting the memories of today consume me.

I pull the sheets as tight as I can, cocooning under them like a caterpillar. Thoughts of him enter my mind again, unbidden.

Why does he keep breaking through?

I focus on my surroundings, blocking out all thoughts. It's quiet now and I wonder if they have passed out. Several moments pass and I breath out in relief.

Then, I hear a knock on the door and I flinch.

Please. Not now.

"Lea come out and play." His voice taunts. "I know you're in there."

If I stay really still and don't respond, maybe he will leave me alone. Maybe he will go away.

The door opens and I freeze. I can hear his footsteps crossing my floor.

Just stay still Malia. Don't even breathe.

"Your mom passed out. Wake up and make me some food. I'm hungry." He says, right in my ear.

I try to stay still but his closeness makes me jump. His hand is suddenly under my sheets and running up my leg.

No.

I kick him and jump up to run away. I'm not fast enough. He grabs me by the neck and slams me back down on the bed. I can feel the bruise already forming. Tears spring to my eyes again as he holds me down.

"Its best if you don't fight it." He slurs.

"Please." I beg. "I'm sorry I kicked you. You frightened me. It was instinct."

He smirks, and his hand runs up my leg again. His fingers grip into my hips as he straddles me on the bed. He rips the sheets out from between us, leaning down to whisper in my ear.

His breath smells like whiskey and I want to throw up. It's disgusting.

"Let's have some fun." He whispers loudly. "Mommy won't care."

His nasty mouth connects to my bare shoulder and I curse inside my head. I need to figure out how to get away from him. My eyes scan the room, looking for something to bash over his head so I can wriggle out from under him.

The lamp.

I reach for my bedside table, but he pins my arm down above my head.

"So young and beautiful. So innocent." He slurs.

"I'm not." I say, desperate to get out of this situation.

This angers him and his fingers pinch into my neck again. Tears spring forth from my eyes and this seems to arouse him even more.

"Does it hurt?" He asks.

There's no possible way I can answer him, because he's cutting off my air supply. I reach out for the lamp again, grasping the cord and pulling.

His free hand wrestles with his belt and I know it's now or never. I can almost touch the base of the lamp. He looks up at me, smiling as his hand leaves my neck and slaps me across the face. It stings but I refuse to make a sound.

I yank the cord again and wrap my hands around the base. My eyes close as I bash it over his head.

He falls limply on me.

It takes five minutes to wiggle out from under him. When I do, I grab my bag and phone and run out the door.

I don't stop until I reach the corner store, and I am safely tucked away into the small outside bathroom with the door locked.