ALISTAIR

     I stared up at my ceiling. My entire body felt deadbeat tired and it took all of my energy to keep my eyes open. Groaning, I rolled over to look at my alarm clock. 12:22 AM flashed in bold red letters. It was so late, but I couldn't go to sleep. And it was all Jonathan's fault.

    At that thought, a million more of him came. I hated him, I despised him, I would rather be stuck in a room with Donald Trump rather than him! But there was more to it than that. I thought he was gentle, caring, and I... I thought I liked him. I gulped. That wasn't possible, though. I don't even like guys! I don't think so, anyway.

     Ever since going to the club just hours beforehand, I was confused even more. I needed to find out my sexuality before I even thought of being in a relationship with Jonathan.

     Immediately, I put two and two together. I knew what I would have to do without a doubt at that moment. I would have to watch... I would have to watch... gäy pørn.

     I shuddered. I had once watched some normal stuff with Julian, but it was just too nasty. It made me kind of sick to my stomach.

     Hesitantly, I grabbed my laptop off my nightstand. I dropped it on my lap and timidly opened it. Turning it on, my nerves felt like they were going into overdrive. I typed in the password and clicked on the Google search engine.

      This is where my fingers paused. Did I have the guts to do it? Taking a deep breath, I hurriedly typed in gay pôrn. I gulped. A ton of pages popped up and I shakily clicked on the first one- Pornhub.com.

     As the website loaded, I fiddled with my hands. What if it turned out I liked it? What if I really was gaÿ? Blinking, I noticed that the page was up. I scrolled down, my eyes flicking from video to video.

     I didn't want to watch a really long one, so I decided on an eight minute long one. It said it was 'hardcore bareback', so I guess it was worth a shot. As my finger pressed play, my breathing hitched. It started off with two guys heatedly making out.

    I didn't find it repulsing and wasn't necessarily attracted to it. But that changed and they started to grind against each other, discarding pieces of their clothing. I bit the inside of my cheek.

    My eyes were glued to the screen as they began to get intimate. The smaller one- Pet, as the bigger one called him, was making the most breathy and lewd noises I had ever heard. The bigger one- Master, was palming Pet through his briefs before slowly peeling them off.

    My breathing hitched. It was about to get good. Master sucked on Pet's neck and flipped him over. He began to harshly finger Pet's hole, making him whimper. My d1ck came to life, throbbing slightly against my night pants.

     "Yes, Master! Yesssssss!" Pet hissed. "Please put it in! Please! I'll do anything!"

    I gingerly reached down and slipped my hand inside of my pants. I slowly felt myself, shuddering.

    Master smirked and retracted his fingers from inside of Pet. He then shoved his full length entirely inside of Pet, making him scream out in ecstasy.

    A fantasy played out before my eyes- Jonathan being the one to thrust inside of me, making me his. Making me cry because of a pleasure overload. Making me beg him for more. My hole twitched.

    Gently, I removed my one hand from my d*ck. I slowly moved it to my backend, slight doubt overwhelming me. I softly prodded my entrance with my index finger, moving it in to only my first knuckle. I gulped, watching the screen.

   Pet's body glistened with sweat and his body bounced up and down as Master f*cked him into the sheets. He was moaning like a middle school girl, all weak knees and shaky hands. In all honesty, a part of me wished that was me.

I slid it in farther until my finger was in halfway. It was new and felt strange- I wasn't quite sure if I liked it or not. I gradually moved it inside of me all the way, wiggling the finger. My nail brushed something deep inside of me and I gasped- it felt amazing.

I blinked at the screen and began to slip my finger in and out of me. I gradually picked up pace and tentatively added another finger. It felt good, really good.

I tried making scissor motions, pressing up against the walls inside of me. I moaned softly. I kept on giving myself a handjob with one hand and fingering myself in the back.

Pet and Master were really getting it on- now in doggy position. Pet screamed in pleasure as he c*mmed everywhere. The screen of the computer went black as the video ended there.

Swallowing, I retracted my fingers from inside of me and shakily clicked another video-t this one an Oreo threesome.

    And that's how the rest of the night/morning went. Me f*cking myself with my fingers while I watched poorly filmed p+rn. I c*mmed five times. I kinda felt pathetic after that, but it just felt so good that I couldn't stop. I finally fell asleep at 3:57 am.

$$Hello... I'm sorry... Please don't kill me... I love you all, though!$$