{ Chapter Ten: The Gracious One Being Ungrateful }
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FEELING INDECISIVE IS TO JANICE THE SAME AS HELPLESSNESS, and both coupled together at the same time is enough to drive her absolutely insane.

Standing in front of her closet (or what used to be her closet before it turned into a battlefield of sweaters and capri's) Janice lets out a growl, pushing away another lace shirt that just doesn't seem good enough. None of anything did.

She'd gotten back from school at least half an hour ago, jumping to take a quick shower (the perks of being short and having short hair), and the plan was to meet up with the rest of the staff immediately after work.

But in her room, wrapped in pajama pants and a tank top, is she stuck, utterly perplexed on what exactly she was going to wear to this friend outlet.

She decides she hates this.

Not the meeting, the girls and guys she has yet to meet, or even the feeling that someone was putting her heart on steroids.

No, it is her fear of impressing.

She doesn't want to be that person who "dressed to impress", to want to care about whether anyone else other than herself approves, Ultimately, though, the stress eats at her independence, and she hates it.

"I don't get why I'm making such a big fuss about this," she says to herself, picking up a hideous ruffled top. "It's not like I dress like a hobo. But what if they want me to look fancier? What's fancier, exactly? Like sophisticated or just dressy in general? God, what about jeans--nope, Brielle either wears dresses or leggings!"

Playing with the drawstring of her pants, Janice stares at the clothing bomb at her feet. "This isn't going so well."

"You think?"

Janice jumps, turning to the doorway to see her brother Alejandro leaning against the door frame with a smirk. "You've been rambling non-stop for the past five minutes I've stood here. You didn't even notice me."

"What do you want? And where's Aàron? Why don't you go bother him instead?" she asks, avoiding Alejandro's eyes.

"He's sulking in his room playing games. Raven went on a vacation the other day, I think I told you this. But, yeah, he's acting as if he just got told that he can't have sex ever again." Alejandro fills her in, not really understanding the idea of "TMI".

Raven is Aàron's year old girlfriend (which she still doesn't know how he bagged), and while those two were complementary to each other and everything, they were almost as attached to the hip as the twins were. However, the couple are so used to Alejandro being their third wheel sometimes, it's as if they would notice it more if his presence wasn't there with them.

"Sounds like fun," she says monotonously, picking up a slim, sleeveless ivory blouse, simple threading from the bottom up, like a henna design.

This is actually really beautiful...

"That was mom's."

Janice swivels around, unconsciously digging her nails harder into the fabric.

She's about to open her mouth--to say what, she doesn't know--but the gentleness of his voice makes her ache more than it should.

Their mother is a taboo subject around the house. It wasn't as if they forgot their memories (or the non-existent ones that Janice had), but the siblings all agreed that they wouldn't bring her up unnecessarily, especially since the last time Karlo asked, their father had almost burst out into tears. The wetness that glazed a sheen over his hazel eyes didn't escape any of their notices when Marcus pulled away.

They skittered around the topic, sticking to indirect comments. "Oh, you have your mother's bronze skin," or, "your mother wouldn't have liked your attitude," or, "and I thought your mother was stubborn," was about as far as any of them would go.

So this time Janice is hit by another emotion, one she doesn't think she has the right to hone but does anyways, and it's nostalgia.

At least, that's what the constricting in her throat tells her. "How... How do you know?"

Alejandro walks in, taking a seat on one of the chairs that isn't covered with an article of attire. "I think Aunt Maria was unpacking some of the things from the attic. Dad stumbled across these and put them in your room. It must've gotten mixed with this warzone you have here."

Alejandro offered a timid smile, that even Janice can tell is a little weak.

He nods to the shirt in her hand. "Aàron and I have a picture with mum framed on the bedside when we were one. She was wearing that shirt in the picture."

Janice traces her hand over the gorgeous fabric, stunned about holding something from her mother (she does consider her as a mother, even though they'd never met). "I-I don't know if I should put this away or--"

"Wear it," her brother interrupts, pushing himself off his chair. "It'll look nice on you, and she'd want you to not die from a brain aneurysm."

Janice wads up a nearby sock and throws it at him, which he dodges. "Wear it with those leather leggings on the side. And I have something for you! Go put that on and I'll be right back."

With that, he runs out, his feet pounding the stairs, leaving a flabbergasted Janice too sudden for her to object. Almost mechanically, she makes her way to her bathroom to put on the outfit Alejandro told her to wear.

Stepping out decked in the attire, she's almost screams to have her brother appear, who's carefully trying to step over the clothes (it's an amazing amazing feat considering there didn't seem to be any space to even put a foot down).

Honestly, it was as if there was a whole new floor.

One hand clutching something, he makes his way over to Janice. "Okay, I just need you to turn around for a second."

"If you're going to slit my throat, tell dad I loved him," she said, but obediently faces the opposite direction.

She feels a warm, metallic sensation embracing her collar, and when she looks down, she's dumbfounded by the gorgeous golden chain that Alejandro placed on her. "Oh, my god."

"This is also mom's," he said simply, stepping back, admiring his handiwork. He didn't know where this idea had came from, but he is pretty damn proud of it.

Catching sight of herself, in the dresser, tentatively tracing the thin necklace, she fingers the gold letters of "gracious".

The plait itself was smooth, and Janice can't help but stroke it a couple times, as if her mind stopped filtering her actions. "Why do you have this?"

"Dad gave me it to me, I think, when I was younger." At Janice's raised eyebrow, mostly because he didn't wear chains, he quickly explained himself. "I used to play with that chain when I was a baby, apparently. I-it's like a reminder of my childhood, I guess. Like a specific scent reminds you of something?" He nods toward the necklace. "It reminds me of her."

"That's... actually really sweet," said Janice, too flabbergasted to really say anything else. "It, uh, looks really beautiful. Thanks so much, bro. Though I have to ask, how do you know so much about dressing up?"

"I'm a ladies man," Alejandro winked, and Janice scoffs. "What? A guy totally has the right to know good fashion sense. Even though I could probably tie a plastic bag around my waist and still make it work."

"If you've thought of the idea, there goes my confidence."

Alejandro smiles, ruffling Janice's wet hair, earning him a slap on the back. "My work here is done. I'm going to now go punch Aàron so I can get my game station back. Later. Have fun at where-ever you're going."

Alejandro takes the following quiet hesitancy as a cue that the conversation is over, disappointed just slightly at the rejection, but before he can dash out, Janice blurts, "I'm going to meet up with some people. It's this get together with the faculty from where I, uh, work."

Alejandro looks back at her, a little amazed that she told him.

Out of all the brothers, Janice seemed to interact the least with Alejandro, since he's usually busy with Aàron or with his own friends, being one of the more social ones in the family. Telling him her plans left him with a warm feeling, which he quickly tried to evaporate because he was a man.

With really mindblowing fashion sense.

"Uh, that sounds really cool. Also, if you get any numbers from hot chicks, I'll always take that as payment for making you look decent."

Alejandro took that moment to leave, but then he stopped at the doorway.

Janice had already started to clean up her mess, at least enough for her to walk around without probably dying from a cracked neck, but she still did a one-eighty when Alejandro said, "Hey, Jane?"

"Yeah?" she asked, looking up.

"You're going to knock them dead."

"Planning on it," she sends him a malicious smile, making him laugh. "Thank you, Al. We should hang out some time, you know."

"I spend enough time with you under a roof, thanks," he said, "but yeah. Next time you head out, ring me up."

"No problem." Happy with the turn about of her emotions, Janice begins to wonder about her hair.

"And Janice?"

"Uh huh?" she hums, a little distracted, and her brother smirks, his words hanging in the air even after retreating upstairs.

"I'm sure Mom would've been proud to have a daughter like you."

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FIDGETING, JANICE UNDERSTANDS, DOES NOT SEEM LIKE an endearing quality to have, bordering more for her petulant, testy side. But she just can't help the twitching of her fingers or the bouncing of her legs as she sits at the table in the kitchen.

Still has another hour before she needs to leave and for Karlo to finish his shift at the dealership, she decides to kill the time by making herself hot coffee, but all it does is seem to heighten her already alarming perception.

Maybe having caffeine and three cubes of sugar wasn't such a great idea, she winces, as feeling the need to run or jog or something to exert the artificial energy from her body.

Sitting on a barstool, she takes a scalding sip of the brew, glad to have her hair up in a nice twist so that she doesn't get any random sections of her short hair in her mouth. Her lip gloss leaves translucent marks on the rim of her mug, as she smiles in contemplative silence.

Last minutely dabbing on some concealer to make the freckles on her face seem a little less washed-out (and maybe a couple pimples she had been disgusted to see popping up), and some shiny lip gloss because her lips were chapped, dry and cracked.

And she might've also put it on with the hopes of wanting to do something else with her lips and with a certain someone, but that's uncharted territory she won't even let her thoughts wander in (at least, not for too long).

The house is eerily quiet aside from the shouts and insults being yelled from the twin's upstairs about their video game, but otherwise, it's relatively peaceful. Leaning back, Janice finds out that she's just a couple gulps away from finishing her coffee, and heads back to the stove to have the rest.

"Well, well, where are you going all fancy?"

Janice almost drops the coffee mug in her hand at the nasally voice, angst foreboding about who she already knows is at the counter behind her. Unfortunately, it was indeed her Aunt that stood there, staring at her rather formal get-up. Janice had been hoping to not have any run-ins with Maria outside of mandatory house meals or gatherings, but even she knew confrontation along was going to happen sooner or later. She was just thankful that she didn't look like she woke up from hibernation at the moment. She didn't want to walk out of this with a terrible mood to start off with.

"Work." She replied curtly, not feeling like delving any further than that.

Maria just raised an eyebrow. "Don't you think that's a little dressed up to go to work?"

"If you saw my dress uniform, you wouldn't think so," she said.

"Really? You mean those... ill-fitting jeans and oversized sweaters you wear even though it's almost summer?"

"It's only March, tía," she said.

"Still. And don't you think you should wear something to cover your bare arms? If you shaved, it might've been one thing, but it looks a little unpleasant."

Janice narrowed her eyes, but stuck to her politeness with great difficulty. "I think I actually look great, thank you."

"I'm-- is that your mother's necklace?"

Janice felt her hands instantly cross around her chest with those words, and she tried to ignore the sting of her Aunt's burning stare as she leaned in closer. "U-um, yes, it is."

"Why do you have it?" It was a little sharp to her ears, but Janice tried to keep her voice solid.

"Alejandro let me wear it for tonight," she said.

"Take it off. I don't want you to wear it." Aunt Maria had half stood up, her face filling in with vile, vehement emotions that resembled a rabid animal.

Janice almost did a double-take. Yes, she'd encountered a lot of discrimination from her family. Yes, she'd been thrown insults and grappling degrading comments. Yes, she'd even ignored the blatant, indirect remarks. But she'd never, never, had anyone outright order her to do something after she turned 12 and learned a thing called freedom of speech.

"Well, I do," she said defiantly.

"That wasn't an opinion," Maria said, her chin upturned to let her argue.

"Actually, I think it was." Janice gritted her teeth, feeling warm betrayal spit and clump in her veins, willing herself to coat herself in steel. It's just another bully, it's just another bully.

Before her aunt could say anything else, she heard a honk from outside, signaling her that Karlo had come to pick her up. Smiling, she picked up her things and said a quick, "now, I'm going to walk out with my hairy arms and gorgeous necklace. Have a peachy day!" before running out the door.

She just couldn't catch a break, could she?

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A/N: Annnnnnnnnnnd that's a wrap! So, what did you guys think?! xD

[psst, James will be in the next chapter!]