Someone: *hands me and Dabria a box full of all the items we've lost throughout our lives*
Me: *pulls my sense of purpose out of the box* oh look it's nice to have my sense of purpose back
Dabria: *pulls out there childhood innocence* oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this *looks through the box again and pulls out mental stability* Mental stability, my old friend!
Me: *pulls out my potential* hey Dabria look my potential! I knew I lost it somewhere!
Dabria: *chuckles and pulls out the will to live*
Me: oh that's mine *grabs the will to live from them* I haven't seen this in years
The person that handed us the box: dudes, lighten up a little.
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A: On the Brightside I'm not addicted to crack cocaine

B: On the downside you could definitely afford one

C: Hello Mr. Drug dealer. Yes I would like to purchase one crack cocaine please

A: Credit or debit?

B: I actually have a gift card

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T is for Tired

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How people I know cope with our mortality:

Ro: General sluttiness

Me: Violent outburst

Mom: Thanks to denial, I'm immortal!

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Ro: Need some sleep Jay?

Me: um, no?

Ro: You have bags under your eyes

Me: It's....a look I'm going for

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Me: Ro, have you ever been in love?

Ro: No but I imagine it's simialr to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food.

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"If you're going to the kitchen could you get me two cups of coffee? One for each hand." -Me (yes I actually said this once)

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JJ: Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?

Me: I'm actually my favorite hot mess. But you're a close second.

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Dabria: *Explains an evil plan to me*

Me: Great, I think I got it, but just in case, tell me the whole plan again.

Dabria and Me at the same time: I/you wasn't/weren't listening.

Dabria: I figured you weren't