The last few performances passed quickly, and luckily I had Nicky to talk to. He was kind to me, he never asked why I was upset. If we stayed at the opera house longer than Anfisa and Viktor then he walked me back to their place. If I ever appeared distraught then he was there to cheer me up.

He was slowly closing the hole Ivan left my heart with.

I hadn't seen Ivan. Whether it was because he was giving me space or because of my amazing skills at avoiding people, I wasn't sure. Either way, I was perfectly happy with it. I didn't want to see him right now.

It seemed as though my life had created a new normal, a new regular schedule. I would wake up, cook for Anfisa and Viktor, as well as some of the other people in the multi-family home. After that, I'd walk with the couple to the opera house to prepare for the show. This was followed by performing and talking with Nicky.

He didn't seem to mind the fact that I called him Nicky.

Today was different. The opera we had been performing had come to an end, which meant it was time to start rehearsing for the next one. I entered the theater with Anfisa and Viktor, walking behind them with a small smile. The second we were on the stage I ran up to Nicky, telling him about one of the ladies Anfisa lived with.

"She's going to have that baby before long, and I can't wait to find out if it's a boy or girl," I rattled on, but he never showed any signs of being disinterested.

"Either way, I know she and her husband must feel so blessed to have so many children." He was indeed right, the couple already had six kids, ranging from sixteen to four.

The large family took up the entire second story. All the boys in one room, the two girls in the other, while the parents stayed in their room. They could be loud and noisy at times, but they were usually very well behaved children.

"Attention everybody!" The orchestra conductor stood on a chair as he waved his arms, getting everyone's attention. Ivan stood slightly behind him, his arms crossed and his mouth in a tight frown.

I've never seen him look so scary.

Once everyone was quiet, the conductor continued, clearing his throat with a sense of superiority. "It had become very apparent that you, the cast, have decided to rebel against how roles are assigned, so Mr. Orlov and myself have come to a conclusion."

Whispers traveled quickly, surrounding me, the guilty party. "Starting today, everyone will be auditioning. You will be placed in a spot, either prima donna, primo uomo, their understudies, or in the chorus. This is assuming that you won't be kicked out of the opera completely."

Gasps were heard, and I myself couldn't help the chill that traveled up my spine. With Ivan being on bad terms with me and being the whole reason I'm here in the first place, he could easily kick me out and no one would question him. That in itself worried me.

"Parts are being passed out now. Sopranos to the far right, altos and tenors to the two middle, and bass to the far left." All of us dispersed to our lines, taking our etudes and studying them.

"Next week, every single person will be auditioning. No exceptions. If you don't cut it, then you will be fired. If you are in the chorus, don't get comfortable, new people come by all the time. As for the leads," He paused, his eyes dancing around and admiring the worried faces. "Pray you keep your spot."

The two men stalked off the stage, talking animatedly about something. Everyone else slowly started talking, going back to their prior conversations or discussing the new auditioning process.

"So, when's the baby due?" I turned to Nicky, trying to make it obvious that I didn't want to talk about such things.

"In a month," He smiled before talking about his nephews, and how exciting it was for him to be there for them when they were born. I faked a smile, nodding every once in a while.

He never mentioned how nervous I was. He never talked to me about it.

I never brought it up.

~~

The week passed quickly.

I twisted my hands and tried to calm the butterflies in my stomach while walking with Viktor and Anfisa. The auditions happened the day prior, and while I felt confident in my training, I was worried about what Ivan would do.

Only he and the conductor were judges, so one wrong move and I could be booted out.

The crowd of cast members stood outside, surrounding a pillar. The list was already up. My breathing faltered as we came closer.

Girls were crying, guys were shouting dejectedly, and a few others were excitedly talking in relief. I had no clue where I would be in this mess.

Viktor held Anfisa as they fought their way to the front. I watched from afar as they happily hugged before Viktor pointed something out on the list. Anfisa let him go and turned her eyes to me. I held my breath as she came over, taking my arms in her hands.

"You're on the list, you're staying!" The happiness didn't reach her eyes. I waited for her to tell me the bad news. I knew there was bad news. "But, you'll be my understudy now."

I watched her feature form a grimace as if the words left a sour taste in her mouth.

"Un-understudy? As in back up?" She shook her head, trying to calm me down. "I'm not even in the chorus? What am I supposed to do? Sit around all day? You never miss anything Anfisa! And I won't let you purposely miss anything!"

She shut her mouth, knowing I figured out what her plan was. I waited for some words of comfort, but I was met with silence. If Anfisa couldn't comfort me, that meant there was no comfort to be given.

I could already hear all the insults. I can already imagine what people must be saying. Either I don't deserve the spot, or I was facing karma at its finest.

How? How was I good enough to sing the lead, but not enough to be in the chorus? I can't believe Ivan would stoop so low! How could he do this to me?

"Everyone inside to receive your new parts for the next opera!" People rushed inside, taking their packets in glee. Anfisa guided me along, keeping a tight grip on my arm in case I ran off.

She was smart. I would if she'd let go. However, I won't risk her falling down if I were to rip my arm away.

"Anfisa, congratulations, as always," He handed her the lead, letting her flip through it. "And Maria, better luck next time."

I tried to keep my mouth shut as I turned and walked out with the packet in my hands. Viktor joined me soon afterward, finding me sitting on the steps with a frown. He said nothing, but his presence was enough to calm me down.

"Maria, I know you may not want to hear this but there is a good side to being an understudy," I slowly lifted my eyes, finding Viktor to have a large smile on his face. "It means you are the hero. If the lead can't be here, then everyone relies on you. It means that Iv- HE and the conductor trusts you to be here and to know the part. So please, stop looking so solemn."

I finally smiled, trying to brush away the small tears that had formed. It was such a stupid thing to cry over. I had better things to do with my time anyway.

"Hey, Maria!" My head turned to see Nicky, holding the door open with his foot as he waved his arm. "Congrats on getting the part! I'm proud of you!"

I laughed, shaking my head at his childish antics.

I will be fine. Who cares what part I have anyway? I'm still here! I still have something to do!