Amyra was cycling back home now, feeling extremely tired and sleepy- the school was bad today. She barely managed to keep her eyes open during the classes and embarrassed herself when her maths teacher suddenly gave her a question to solve on board. She couldn't solve the sum, of course, and was asked not to come to the classroom if she couldn't manage to bring her brains along. Under normal situations, she would have ignored the insults, but this one irked her. Amyra hadn't been able to sleep much lately, and this new teacher had been adding to her frustration for quite a long time now. If he messes with me again... Amyra didn't really know what she would do- only that it wouldn't be nice.

She yawned against the wind hitting her face and thought about her situation. She had been losing out on sleep because the nightmares were bad- they were actually worse than ever before and there were some other things as well. And these other things needed more attention than her nightmares did. But who to talk to? She didn't think her father could help her. She knew he will merely ask her to stop stressing over things and what's more, he would be stressed himself. And then... She thought of her mother. What if he says I'm slipping into the same oblivion as her? The thought chilled her - she couldn't imagine spending the rest of her life as someone tagged as schizophrenic - or worse, having to go to a mental institution.

Her heart ached when she thought of how her mother must have spent those last days in the hospital, staring into nothingness. She was lost, and Amyra was scared that she might face the same fate. Even her dad couldn't deny it outright, careful as he might be about it, that she was so much like her mother in some things. Yet, there were things that he couldn't comprehend - because he always looked for reasons and answers that were beyond her to explain. And this is why she needed to talk to someone who could understand her - someone who wasn't limited by his own beliefs but liberated by them.

She slowed down, paused in the middle of the road for a second or two, contemplating and then started again.

Within the next ten minutes, she was at Vansh's place knocking at his door. He lived in one of the most secluded parts of the city, almost at the outskirts. Despite being offered a room in the hostel, he chose to live here on rent because he wanted to be alone. Totally understandable, Amyra thought. And besides, this place was closer to her home than his hostel would have been- even by walk it would barely take twenty minutes to get here.

He opened the door and Amyra noticed a speck of bewilderment in his eyes over his perfectly calm face, which was there for such short a time that she could have only imagined it.

"Hi," she said and then stood there fidgeting on the spot, feeling suddenly shy and embarrassed for coming here without any prior warning. She had been here only once before, and that was with her father when he was invited on a Sunday lunch by Vansh.

"You came unannounced, is everything fine?" His voice was calm and his eyes were their usual penetrating selves which seemed to be knowing everything. He moved outside closing the door behind her which slightly disappointed Amyra, confirming her fear that she was perhaps intruding.

"Umm... Yes, I guess? Actually, I just wanted to talk, didn't want to go back home yet," she said to him and then shrugged. "But if you're busy, it's absolutely fine. Nothing too important," she added with a little more energy to sound honest.

He smiled politely at her, understanding what she was thinking. "I can't let you in because I was busy with some house-cleaning work and I don't want to embarrass myself by letting you see the filthy condition that my house currently is in."

"Well..." Amyra laughed nervously but she was then immediately at ease as he smiled back at her.

"We can take a walk to the park. And I'll get some things and lock the door... water?" He asked as he turned to open the door.

"Sure." Amyra frowned when he locked the door again as he went inside, but didn't think much of it. Instead, she thought of how to tell him about her nightmares without sounding like an insane person. And yet, there was a reason she came here to talk instead of going to her psychiatrist dad, wasn't it? She knew he was going to understand each and everything even if she didn't explain it right. That was something he was really good at- better than Amyra herself was.

She had a way of knowing what people thought and felt and this was more than just intuition but far, far less than anything supernatural. There was something very ordinary about it too, as well as something extraordinary when you thought about it- this was an edge of something she couldn't understand. And she felt like she was sliding off this edge little by little.

How ironic that although she could understand others well, she couldn't figure out things going on with herself. It was like observing through windows and mirror- when she looked at others, she was looking through a window. But how can she see herself unless she had a mirror?

Vansh is going to be my mirror, she thought. And why was that? Because he didn't scare her as he did many others. Because he understood her just like she understood those around her- except him- she still couldn't understand him completely.

She was pulled out of her reverie when he came out and handed her a water bottle and then soon they were taking a walk towards the park near her house.

"Tell me then, what is it? You seem impatient and worried." He looked at her as they walked ahead and his face had no expression while his eyes had a million hidden.

Amyra started right away, not wanting to give herself a chance to change her mind. "I'm having nightmares these days. And I remember most of them, even after waking up, but the problem is...." She paused. How to say this? The major, sane part of her wanted to say "no problem" and get over with it, but something else in her, which was definitely not her brain, sought answers.

"The problem is...?" Vansh prompted her and she saw curiosity in his eyes.

"Well... I... I feel like these aren't my dreams at all. Or maybe nightmares, like these aren't my nightmares at all." There, she spoke it finally and then waited. Without realising, both of them had stopped walking and were staring at each other. Amyra looked at him and saw... nothing. It was a controlled and well-maintained composure, that, she could see well. Soon he started walking again and Amyra did too, following his lead.

Amyra waited for him to say something before she spoke more and he did. "Tell me more only then I can say something. What are these nightmares like? What are they about?"

"I usually find myself in some sort of arid land, sometimes in a house that isn't mine, sometimes in a beautiful and completely imaginary world... It's complicated, the places keep changing. And I'm always lost, always trying to find my way back desperately. And there's one thing common in all of these places. No matter how beautiful or ugly some of these places are, something is there always." Amyra paused, not knowing how to explain. What was it which always lurked in her dreams? She couldn't tell but at some rare, rare times it felt like that thing might actually step out of her head and into the real world. That thing, which Amyra had never seen even in her scary nightmares was not supposed to be looked at. She knew it, somehow she knew that if she looked at that thing, she will fall off the edge and into the dark madness. You never looked at it.

"Amyra," Vansh held her shoulders with slightest of force possible and she stopped and looked. She realised they were at the park already but she had still kept moving ahead on the road. Then she looked at Vansh whose face was inscrutable but she knew something was going through his mind because his eyes held knowledge of it. She was surprised that he wasn't surprised by anything that she told him.

As they sat on the bench and Vansh was still quiet, Amyra couldn't hold it back anymore. "Why aren't you saying anything?"

"I will, but only when you tell me everything. What else is there, apart from these dreams?"He asked and Amyra sensed an urgency in his voice that alarmed her.

"How do you even know that there is something else apart from these dreams?"

The corner of his lips turned up and he said, "I might not be as good as your dad, but I too am a student of psychiatry. And excuse me if I sound haughty, but I'd like to think that I'm doing pretty good in that department. So I can tell that there are some other things too by your body language."

"It's good that you are so confident about your skills in psychiatry, but don't think a fool of me. These aren't tricks of psychiatry but knowledge of something that made you think there are some other things to discuss as well."

His eyes were still smiling as he spoke, "Amyra, I'm trying to help you. But before you start interrogating me, you have to tell me everything first."

"Yes, I will. But tell me first, why do you even entertain me? I know there is something more to it than you let me see. But you know what? You're not the only one who sees things or understands them. I might not be aware of what you know, but we know the same things somewhere inside us, only you are aware of that and I am not." Amyra paused, struggling to find the right words to explain but she couldn't. She knew they had diverted from the main topic, but this was important too. And then she looked at him, looking for help.

He stayed quiet for a moment and she noticed that the initial alarm - or was it fear? - had come back in his eyes. No, there was a sense of wonder in his eyes. Amyra realised that Vansh was being more expressive today than he had ever been before. Or maybe I'm reading him better than I've ever read him before. But whatever be, somewhere, the fog was clearing away and she was able to see more clearly.

He finally seemed to have gained back control and spoke, "The reason I chose to become a psychiatrist was that in some ways, I was able to read people and their motivations the same way you can. And I wanted to know more about it, explore it. For now Amyra, you should only know this much. Now spill the beans so that we can help you. Because you do need help and you know that." He seemed both sincere and serious.

Amyra wanted to ask so many questions to him but she knew that he was right. To ask the questions, she first needed to tell him what all was happening...

"I am... I'm blacking out. Zoning out. Whatever you may call it. And I don't know where I am in that moment, except that I feel like I do know. Do you understand how that feels? Knowing that you know something but it's still out of your reach." Amyra was talking fast and agitatedly now while Vansh just looked at her, listening intently. "It's like... Have you ever forgotten something that you did or said all your life? Something that is impossible to forget and you still do forget it while you also know that you know. Strange, yes, but that's how these blackouts are. It's like forgetting a habit, which is strange enough in itself.

"I know that there is something there. I know what it is that I see during these blackouts but I don't remember it. It's like some part of me is holding me back from moving the curtain aside and seeing the truth. It's like..." And suddenly Amyra knew what she was looking for, a perfect example. "It's like how can't choke yourself to death by your own hands. Similarly, I can't get those things out of me myself. And I don't know why is that because the thing that holds me back from moving these curtains aside is part me and part... part everything and nothing else."

She told him whatever there was to tell, but what she didn't voice was her fear of going insane. She was waiting for him to say something and when he finally did speak, it was embarrassingly unexpected for her. "Do you do drugs with your friends or any such thing? I'm afraid you might be hallucinating."

She was stumped and felt rather insulted. "You think I'm hallucinating? Oh wow!"

She turned away from him as angry tears came out of her eyes as the feelings of betrayal took over her being. She came to this man instead of going to her dad. Why? Because she thought he would understand her. But no - instead he asks her if she's doing drugs. Amyra had never felt so angry and alone before. She knew what she was going through and she knew it wasn't all just hallucination. I'm not mom, I'm not crazy, no. She suddenly recalled her mother during one of her episodes... The screams, the agony, the fear. She felt unexpectedly nauseous and wanted to get away from here.

She turned around to tell Vansh that she was leaving but that one second in which she moved, everything around her vanished - the sky above was copper and dark, the surroundings were tinted with a blur of red and the ground below her feet was running away from her yet she was standing there. Vansh was there, but he said nothing, did nothing - he only stared at her first in wonderment and then in fear... the world was spinning, oh no! Oh no! It was all spinning so fast and changing so fast and Vansh was opening his mouth and screaming at her as she fell down but she couldn't hear him. Why was everything moving so fast? What was happening?

Amyra was falling and she could see Vansh trying to catch her - and he looked so scared then - but she was going down and down and down and even as she fell, she could feel everything around her changing. She wasn't falling down a cliff, no, she was falling through worlds, but all these worlds still had the same copper dark sky which seemed so brutal to her. She felt like it was this very sky down the dark pit towards which she was falling through the darkness and the same sky was going away from her each moment...

Vansh was nowhere and she herself was nowhere. It was all abyss and as she fell down and down, slowly the sky started to go away turning into a circle of blurred copper that was becoming smaller and smaller as she fell farther away. And then she saw that brutal copper sky turning into a dot of red before darkness swallowed it and then swallowed her. At that moment, she was sure she will never open her eyes again in her own world- she was lost forever. She was lost in one of those several worlds that were her nightmares.

She was losing herself but that was still not the worst of it. The scariest part was the haunting and inhuman growls and moans and screams of something. She could hear it in this darkness through which she was still passing and she knew that the unseen monster of her nightmares was here and Amyra then closed her eyes against the darkness, promising herself that she wouldn't open her eyes because she knew that no matter how dark it was, if she kept her eyes open, she would see him- the one who was not supposed to be looked at.

The noise, amalgamated scream of everything inhuman and monstrous was getting nearer and nearer and then Amyra wished, with all her might for the death to come and take her. She knew death would be easier but alas! She felt it, she felt the cold coming over her and it wasn't the chill of death- it was chill of fear. Cold, brutal and raw, it was fear, it was the unseen monster. But Amyra dare not open her eyes.

I won't look. I won't look. I won't look. I won't look.

And then she opened her eyes and looked.

A bloodcurdling, bone-chilling scream left her mouth that could have been from the pits of hell.