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F O U R

A  T R I P  D O W N  M E M O R Y  L A N E

                 WE REACHED ADIRA'S APARTMENT soon enough and I stumbled out of my car, grabbing my bag with me. The chilly night air greeted me savagely, making the hairs on the back of my neck instantly stand up. Worse yet, my face could feel the brisk air from the tears that were staining my face. I really wanted to go inside quickly.

The drive had been filled with silence but I knew there was going to be a hell lot to say once we got to Adira's apartment. So I prepared myself to say the whole truth and finally come out to someone about it after five years.

I hadn't mentioned Declan when I first came to Pomona Park, not a single thing about him to anyone-not Alec, my Mom or Jas. I wanted to get over him and the only way it was going to be possible if no one mentioned him and I guess over time, I began to get over him but I was beyond unprepared for today. I hadn't prepared myself for that, there was no need for that in my mind.

Kyle handed me my car keys and we both walked to the main door of the apartment building. He had his hand placed on the small of my back, an act of fortunate comfort. Luckily her apartment was on the ground floor so we didn't have to take the elevator, just walk up to her door and knocked on it, waiting patiently. There was a low hum of music coming from inside, her soothing music, which she used whenever she was meditating.

There was movement on the other side of the door before it finally opened, revealing Adira, wearing a green kimono and had leaves in her black hair pulled into a bun. She was smiling but there was confusion swirling in her brown eyes as she looked at Kyle, and then her gaze landed on me. Me with red puffy eyes and a frown etched on my face and her eyes widened slightly with a little understanding.

"You want the massage first?" She cocked an eyebrow, stepping aside and letting us in.

"I think we need some alcohol." Kyle suggested stepping in with me.

"Yeah," I nodded. "Alcohol will be great right now."

Adira looked between us and nodded, leading us through the golden lighted hallway to her living room, which was also dimly lighted with golden lighting and instead of having sofas, she had very plump cushions and mini rectangular mattresses aligning the side of the wall with lanterns hanging down and a round low table in the middle. It looked something out of Arabian Nights, very beautiful.

"How many bottles are we talking? Do you also want some of the spinach, tomato and chickpea curry I made?" Adira offered, while we took of out coats and made ourselves comfortable on the plump cushions. 

"No curry right now, I'm just gonna need lots of alcohol if I'm going to tell you my high school story." 

Surprise flickered in Kyle's eyes at the mention of high school but shrugged it off and declined Adira's offer of food.

She nodded. "Make yourselves comfortable while I bring it." Then she headed into the kitchen.

I slumped down onto the side and folded my legs underneath, leaning against the side.. I tried my best to concentrate on anything just so my mind didn't drift to the thought of Declan, which will most likely end up with a stampede over my chest.

Kyle was on the same side as me but on the other end, his legs stretched out. His hair was out in a mess now and he had opened up a few of his top buttons and untucked his own shirt from his trousers.

I watched with my lips pursed as Adira walked back in and handed out glass bottles of beer to Kyle and I. She placed the rest of the crate on the table. She grabbed her Japanese blankets which had been folded neatly.  She opened it and handed it to me. I draped it over my bottom half.

"Yep, this definitely will be your bed time story." I murmured with no humor intended as I took a sip of some beer. 

She settled on the cushions perpendicular to us, sitting cross legged and looking attentive  She then raised his eyebrows at me. "Want to begin your story do you want to begin with deep breathing exercises?"

Kyle groaned out loud.

"Yeah, no thanks." I shook my head at her.

She shrugged. "Fine then, begin. I can literally feel your sorrow filled energy affect me."

"Wow." I shared a look with Kyle, a mocking grin making it's way onto my face.

After taking a few sips, I held the glass steadily in my hands and looked up to Kyle with a sigh. "Now, there's just one thing before I begin- don't interrupt and ask questions or make a comments while I tell you guys everything. Only until the end. Okay?"

Adira nodded, picking at the green leaves in her bun. "God what did I miss today?" She asked rhetorically.

"Aye aye." Kyle rolled his eyes. "Now begin."

There was a churning in the pit of my stomach, like someone had ties knots using my insides and they couldn't be undone but I ignored it and took another sip. 

My eyes began to space out of focus, instead I envisioned my eighteen year-old self with long dark hair, in my blue cheer-leading outfit, holding my school satchel and alongside an eighteen year old boy, with unkempt raven hair the colour matching his dark eyes. We were walking down the familiar hallways of our school, side by side- me laughing to a comment he made about out chemistry teacher under his breath while he shot me a fluttering smirk. 

We were inseparable. It was us against the world. 

Me and Declan. Declan and me.

The memory trigger my words, and what I had been holding in for years just began to spill out at that moment, released from the tiny hole in my heart I had squeezed them in.

"I moved to Pomona Park when I was eighteen, it was the middle of my senior year. There were two main reasons as to why I moved here but everyone only knew about one of them; that was that my mum was ill, very ill, and I wanted to move here to be with her since I didn't exactly have any sort of relationship with her before that." 

They listened along quietly, but I didn't pay attention to their further reaction. 

They only had the knowledge that I moved to Pomona Park because I wanted to stay with my mum who was extremely ill at the time.

"The other reason I didn't tell anyone about, it was just as big as the other reason. The only person who knew vaguely of it was my Dad back home." I continued wistfully. "It wasn't easy at all moving here precipitously in the middle of my senior year. I left behind my childhood home where I grew up in a small town, I left behind my father, who raised me, gave me everything I ever asked for and someone who I depended on, I left behind a life I built for myself there, I made good friends, was doing well in school and I had my future mapped out before me." 

I paused, a small smile making its way onto my face. "And then there was Declan Canning,  who I just left behind without a notice, explanation or a goodbye." I took a large swig of the bottle and I could hear Adira shift her position to my right, but my mind was still having a flashback replay.

"I had known Declan since preschool, we were casual friends up until first grade, which is when we got extremely close and I guess you could say since then we've been stuck together and been best friends." A ghostly smile made its way onto my face. "We told each other everything and did everything together. We were indivisible." 

"Things changed at the end of Middle School though, mostly for Declan. His father was having an affair with a woman from the place he worked and to be as frank as possible, him and Declan never had the most steady relationship I guess. He was never that close with his Mum either. He looked up to his older brother but life came crashing down for him after his brother and dad passed away in a car accident. It took a massive toll on him- he became distant with everyone and even I got the cold shoulder but I wouldn't give up on him so stayed by his side even though he didn't want me there. I couldn't leave him."

His brother and father's unfortunate death made Declan take a  one-hundred and eighty degrees turn. He shut me out, at times I cried in frustration but at a time where even his mum left him and he was all alone, I took his cold shoulder and stayed by his side.

I drank the remaining drops of beer from the glass.

"Naturally, with time he got over the death. But his cold demeanor always lingered since then and he was never the same again. He became the kind of person to close of his emotions and distance himself from everyone. It even became hard for me to understand him at the beginning but he eventually opened up to me and with me, he was the old Declan. My best friend." This time an image of Declan and I lying in his bed side by side floated into my mind. He was laughing out load, full grin spread across his face and I was punching him on the shoulder.

"By Sophomore, I was used to his closed off personality with the world, he had a few friends here and there but that was it. We were very different yet managed to remain tight. I was a cheerleader and I had was friends and jolly with so many people around the school. We were opposites Declan and I- I was an open book where he was a closed book with a freaking padlock on it."

I blinked, regaining my focus in the room only to lean forward and put the empty glass bottle on the table but then I continued, trying not to take any pauses. 

It flowed out of me. "Then things changed for me."

This time I frowned, my eyebrows furrowing.

My heart beating became more erratic in my chest. I huffed with a slight shake of my head.

"It was in Junior year, I don't know how or when but it just became so obvious I had feelings for Declan. The kind of feelings best friends didn't share but more. The sight of him made me more happy, his smile automatically made my heart ache and my own smile to appear and his touch had me wanting more." I paused taking a deep breath. "I never told anyone about my dreaded realisation, it would destroy everything between Declan and I if he ever found out so I made sure he never found out."

My heart was in a shattered disarray of pieces at that moment. I had opened a wound that hadn't healed fully without knowing. 

"He obviously didn't reciprocate the feelings and yes, it did hurt but I wasn't going to lose the friendship I cherished for my unwanted feelings towards him. I kept it hidden pretty well but the small hope in me never left that one day he'd maybe tell me he feels the same way about me. A girl can dream can't she?" I breathless laugh escaped my lips though no humor was detected in it.

"So then a few months later, a new girl arrived at our school. Her name was Natalie Heathers . She was somewhat different in her own way, she had a goth touch to her look, dark outfits mostly but once you got to know her, she was a very sweet person- would barely hurt a fly. She reminded me a lot of Declan as well, a closed off person who only opened up to certain people. I guess that was one of the main reasons her and Declan started becoming so close and the result was Declan admitting to me that he liked her a lot." 

Although Natalie had a mischievous and rebellious streak in her, I had been wrong to judge her based on her looks. She was kind, always finding a way to make others smile. 

I carried on. "I wanted to hate Natalie. I wanted him to like me, not her. I couldn't bring myself to blame her though since she wound being one of my own close friends and it wasn't her fault. She wasn't the bitch I was secretly hoping for her to be. For almost a year, by which we were in my senior year, I watched them slowly fall for one another, more and more as each day went by. Declan hadn't had a girlfriend before so seeing him have feelings for someone made me happy for him even if it wasn't me."

I bit my bottom lip and reached forward once more, to grab another bottle this time. I swallowed the strong burning liquid.

"I helped them though. I told Natalie to have firm faith in Declan and I'd tease Declan every chance whenever Natalie left a lingering stare or any tell-tale signs. I practically screamed into theirs ears about the others feelings for them and finally, they both just told each other, Natalie being the one to admit first. My feelings during this time for Declan had just hauntingly and very inconveniently started increasing. I didn't know what I was doing by getting them to get together but I certainly wasn't ready for the heartache I would go through by watching them be together. I wasn't exactly the best at hiding my heartache at times."

My eyes began to sting and I bitterly swallowed down some more alcohol. There was a fuzziness in the pit of my stomach now but I pushed away the feeling and continued.

"It was became very obvious that I was in love with Declan since they got together properly. The anguish and grief wouldn't go away. Then during those days, my mum was ill, you know about that. She wanted me there, for a short while and I just saw it as the best ticket out. I was double-minded about my decision, one moment deciding I should tell Declan then the next not having the heart to do so. In the end, I told my dad I had to move and within a week of planning, the day came for me to leave." I slowed down with my pace. "I desperately wanted to tell Declan and I was going. But that night, I waited for him on his porch for an hour while crying, waiting for him to come from work but he didn't and later I found out he was spending the night at Natalie's. It just prompted me further, and I became angry. Hurt. Upset. My heart was in a turmoil then, feeling crushed which was stupid considering I already knew they were together but that night I just let it out and made the decision to leave. For good." 

A lone treacherous tear brushed down the cheeks and I brushed it away.

"Looking back on it now, I find what I did wrong and an act that was done with weakness but the heartbreak was a lot for me and I had to move away. That was the triggering reason to be honest, I also had the other reason but you know? This played a big role." I took a deep breath and advanced. "I wanted to move on and get over Declan but I knew that wouldn't be happening if I stayed there and watched him love someone else. I moved here without a single word uttered to anyone and made my dad promise me never to tell anyone where I went or why I went. It hurt me so damn much to just get up and leave my best friend, father and my life behind like that but I did."

I recalled the harsh memories of that flight to Florida. The day was a sunny bright day, a day where you would expect to make happy memories. And there I was, a dark void. I really wished it would have rained that day to fit in with my mood but the world was against me and the day was lovely. I had left my phone at home and promised my father I would buy a new one here with a new number. Any social media, I deleted. I erased my presence over there, the only slight obstacle was my father because I knew Declan wouldn't give up trying to find out with my father just living down the street from him." 

"I never told anyone about Declan when I came here, I thought that it would help with me getting over him which I did. It took time but I did it. I thought I'd never see them again to be honest but today proved me wrong so terribly. Declan and Natalie are Madison's parents."

Kyle let out a low whistle and stared at me with wide eyes. I snapped my gaze to him and shrugged slightly, feeling the pang in my chest. Adira looked confused, having missed out on the encounter earlier on but I didn't think to fill her in at that moment.

"Declan was so fucking hurt that I had left him. I never knew how much I had hurt him until now, like I knew I had hurt him a lot but-" I ran my hand through my hair in frustration, the pity ramblings just flooding out of me. "-I tried so hard these five years to try and forget about him. I thought I got over him and I did-"  

I sighed and quickly filled her in, rather vaguely, on the previous surprising encounter with Declan.

She nodded as I finished, her face gave off a vibe that she knew what this was all about. Understanding was plastered across her face. 

"This is definitely the work of the spirits." She clicked her fingers.

My mouth parted. "Come again Adira?"

"Your two were destined to meet again." She smiled. "We all make mistakes and sometimes fate is what corrects our mistakes for us." 

My jaw just dropped even more and I started at her for a ridiculously long time. My mind was beginning to throb now, ever so slightly but it was there, most probably from the affects of the alcohol I had consumed. I thought over her theory and shook my head after the throbbing became more frequent. 

"Yep, I definitely need more alcohol." I voiced my inconvenient desire and leaned forward again to grasp another bottle, which I didn't need since I already had a bottle in my hand which wasn't fully finished yet.

Kyle spoke up, cutting me short of getting another bottle and as soon as his words registered in my mind, I froze. "Do you still love him Willa?"

I tried my best to come back with a quick and efficient no but my mouth just wouldn't voice my thoughts. The words got stuck inside and mixed into the betraying thoughts inside. His question was surprising and threw me completely off guard. I took my sweet time to come up with a coherent reply and it became obvious what my answer what going to be. I didn't love Declan like that anymore. I certainly still care a lot for him- that's for sure. I would never stop caring for Declan but love? I got over him over these last five and a half years.

"No, obviously not anymore Kyle." I said finally, ignoring the deceiving voice in my mind.

Kyle stared at me hard, obviously doubting my answer. "You sure about that Willa?"

I started growing frustrated by his question and heaved a long sigh. "I don't love him in that sense anymore, what do you think I've done these past five years? I got over him." I told him in a tone that was used to state the obvious.

But Kyle didn't look convinced.

"Kyle." I laughed it off, resorting to another technique. "If I did still love him, I would've probably spilled my feelings for him by now and confessed why I had left." 

His expression didn't change except for the way he cocked his eyebrow at me, looking at me in the same disbelieving manner he's been looking at me since I answered his question.

"I think it would be beautiful if you still loved him." Adira chimed in. 

I almost burst out into patronizing laugh. "Adira! It would be very far from beautiful."

"Are you going to talk to him again?" She questioned, her brown eyes sparkling with the glint of mischief. 

I grimaced at the thought.

"Adira," Kyle called out. "obviously she will."

He sent me a look, waiting for an affirmation of agreement.

I certainly did not give any gesture back to agree with him.

"Okay enough with this." I said waving my hand in a dismissive gesture. "Let's move on."

And thankfully, they dropped the insane topic.

"What do you think is going to happen now?" Kyle asked and Adira perched forward, waiting for my reply.

I thought hard but nothing that flitted into my mind seemed right. We couldn't go back to being best friends. But we couldn't ignore each other either. So I just shrugged my shoulders, not knowing how we would come to a middle. "I don't know."

Adira asked, "So they have moved here permanently?"

"Yeah, I guess they have since Madison started school here." I said sulking. "It's so weird though, out of all the places they move to...they move here to where I live." 

Kyle looked amused. "Maybe it really was supposed to happen."

Adira looked proud and happy at his comment.

I sent them both a dark look which was laced with amusement. "No Ky, don't pull that shit with me. What are you going to say next? Fairies bought us together again?"

Adira didn't look so pleased and was about to say something when Kyle beat her to it.

"Fairies who are undercover fate." Kyle and I burst out laughing at his stupid joke. The alcohol was having its full impact now on the two of us since we had been drinking the most, Adira looked sober who only had one or two sips from her own bottle. 

"Fate is real, you know?" Adira argued. "Maybe you two don't see it but this is the work of fate. I know it." 

Kyle and I snickered, while Adira looked far from amused. "

I took a few moments to rest my head back and pushed all worries out of my head and away from me. Right now, I needed mind needed a rest especially since today evening was a whole lot overwhelming for me than I ever imagined. The alcohol was the rest my mind needed. 

Whatever was going to happen from now on, would happen and I would just go along with it.

I must have had more alcohol in my system that I thought I had but at that moment I didn't care. I needed that small feeling of release.

"Do you have anything stronger Adira?" I asked after a while of silence.

Adira shook her head no. "I do but what I think you need to do is relax your mind, we can lay down and listen to some calming music if you like." 

I almost began crying at the thought. "But I want something stronger and I want to make a toast."

"Toast to what?" Kyle asked.

Adira stared at me for a long time. "Toast with the beer, anymore stronger and you'll die Willa." 

I frowned bu complied anyway. The rational part of me agreed with her but that part was being paraded on by a more drunk Willa.

"A toast." I said gleefully raising my bottle.

Kyle huffed. "That's really not necessary."

"Oh yes it is." I nodded.

"Hurry up then." He grumbled impatiently.

I smiled wickedly and raised my bottle as they followed suit, waiting for me to continue. "To this bottle of beer for being the best sort of escape right now. To your hair Kyle because it looks very adorable when it's messy compared to your usual combed style." Kyle shot me a scowl but nevertheless ran a hand through his hair. I continued, "To you Adira for cheering me up with your insanity," She shot me a humorless look but there was a smile breaking out on her face. "And to me for believing I'd never see Declan again and having a slight moment of stupidity. And finally to Declan himself who I wish I knew where I stood with him right now. Cheers."

Kyle and Adira looked at me like I was a lost cause but nevertheless downed some alcohol with me. It burned down my throat, leaving a fiery trail but I downed some more not caring that that moment.

Kyle then burst out laughing a moment later, to which I cocked an eyebrow. "What?"

He shook his head and rested it back, closing his eyes.

"Is he going to sleep?" I asked Adira.

Adira sighed. She really did feel like I was a lost cause then

Kyle murmured something but I couldn't catch it, my mind was ablaze.

The storm inside my mind was beginning to subside successfully. Alcohol really was a solution for me at that moment. Sadly, I was the clueless kind of drunk so the thoughts that were in my mind at the time, weren't exactly logical. Which explains the next thing to come out of my mouth.

"We should teach the kids about fate fairies. They'll love them." 

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NEW: The support I've been getting is amazing, it means a huge bunch to me. this is fictional and these are my imperfect characters so if some of you find what willa did to be weak, so be it but keep in mind i dont write about perfect characters. they are immensely flawed. this chapter is dedicated to @mysteriousunknownx for always being there to appreciate me updating and being a constant reader! your comments are really sweet! i hope you guys like adira, i love her quirky and bizarre personality.

joey x