Luke's POV

"Cal, we want to learn to drive," I say abruptly when Calum picks up his phone.

"Sorry, what?" Calum says. I can hear him nearly choke on whatever he's drinking.

"I want to learn to drive. Delilah wants to figure out how to drive here. Can you teach us?" I thought I was pretty clear to begin with.

"Uh, yeah, I guess. I'll be over in a few."

He hangs up and arrives to my house a few minutes later. He tosses his car keys up and catches them.

"Since when are you interested in driving?" he asks.

I shrug. "I figure it's time."

"I never thought I'd see the day where you drove."

"Neither did I. My dad said he'd teach me while we were still in Maine. But, uh, circumstances put that to a pause."

Calum smiles, but it's one of those I'm sorry all this happened but I'm happy to help smiles. He puts his hand on my shoulder. 

"Well, I'm sure you'll be a natural. Hopefully. I can't afford a new car."

I think about the dent that's in the shape of a ghost on his car. By the end of today, the ghost may have a new friend.

I can hear Delilah laughing as she walks into the room.

"Hey, Calum. Thanks for doing this," she says.

"Yeah, no problem. What are we waiting for? Let's go!"

Calum turns swiftly on his heels and heads outside. I look at Delilah meekly. She smiles and gives me a thumbs up.

"You can do this. Don't worry," she says quietly. She takes my hand in hers and rubs her thumb in circles on my skin.

"I always worry."

"I know."

Calum's waiting by the passenger side door when we get outside.

"I have some rules of the road. Don't drive too close to the curb. Don't slam on the breaks. Always use a turn signal. That is all for now."

"Yes, sir," Delilah says, laughing.

"Delilah can go first," he says, handing the keys to her. 

Delilah gets into the driver's seat, and I slide into the backseat.

Calum explains everything to both of us. Delilah keeps nodding to confirm she understands. All I can think about is my sweaty palms and shaky knees.

What if my legs are too shaky to hold down the pedals? Can that happen? If my hands are too sweaty, will that affect my grip on the steering wheel? What if I turn onto the wrong side of the road? What if I hit something? Or even worse, someone.

Delilah looks reaches up to position the rearview mirror and glances at me.

"Luke, don't worry. You're okay. Everything is okay," she says. She turns around and puts her hand on my knee. I realize I've been bouncing my knee at a speed I didn't know was possible. "If you don't want to do this, you don't have to."

"She's right. No one is forcing you," Calum says.

"No, I can do this. I want to."

"Alright. Delilah, back out of the driveway now," Calum says.

"Wait!" I say. 

Delilah puts the car back in park before she can even begin to drive.

Delilah and Calum both whip their heads around to look at me. Both of them display looks of concern.

"Phones," I say, putting out my hands.

"Another rule of the road. Don't scream unless we're about to hit something," Calum says.

Calum grabs his phone from the cup holder and Delilah reaches into her back pocket. They both place them into my hands.

"Okay. We can start now," I say, putting both phones on silent and placing them beside me.

Delilah backs onto the street with ease. 

Calum gives a few words of advice sometimes. Delilah doesn't need much help though.

"It's not as different as I thought," Delilah says after a few minutes.

We drive down a few blocks and she does fine. I knew she would. Calum gives directions to an empty parking lot. Delilah pulls in and puts the car in park. She turns to me.

"Ready?" she asks.

I nod. I take a deep breath and wipe my hands on my pants. I take my phone out of my pocket and place it with the others.

Delilah and I switch spots. I'm in the driver's seat, a spot I never thought I would be in. But, here I am. I am determined to do this. I have to do this. It's time.

I readjust the seat and mirrors. Calum shows me where to put my hands. He says I can change the position to whatever is most comfortable after I take the driver's test. That's if I ever take the test. Today could be my last time in the driver's seat.

"Okay, just start off slow," Calum says once I'm ready. 

I take my foot off the break, and the car slowly moves forward. 

"Now's the time to put your foot on the gas," Calum says.

"Right, right." I nearly forgot that part because I'm so nervous.

I accidentally hit the wrong pedal and the car jerks to a stop. Delilah gasps in the backseat.

"Wrong one. It's okay though, common mistake. Broke a rule of the road, but it's okay," Calum says, laughing.

I start again. This time I put my foot on the gas. The car moves at the pace of a turtle.

"No one is around, Luke. We can go over 5 miles per hour. Wait, kilometers, right?" Delilah says. "It'll be alright, I promise."

After a few more minutes, I'm getting more comfortable driving. I make a few loops around the parking lot and gain some speed. We're not going fast, but we could beat a turtle in a race now.

It's not as difficult as I thought. I wouldn't say I enjoy it like some people, but it's not terrible. I can probably do this more. I can see myself driving on a real road. Not today, but another day. 

Possibly.

I tell myself I have to drive again. I am going to learn to drive. 

I feel like once I can drive, I'm overcoming one of the last major road blocks in my life. I spent so long fearing cars and driving. 

Every time I used to sit in a car, I would get nauseous. I would imagine all the possibilities of Delia's crash. I would imagine her last few moments. I couldn't be in a car without nearly breaking down. I didn't get in a car for months after Delila passed. 

Then one day Calum picked me up and told me to sit in his car. He left me in there for awhile. Then he got in and drove to his house. Slowly but surely, I got more comfortable in cars.

I could not imagine ever driving a car after that. But recently, it's something I've felt I need to do. This is one of the last things I have yet to overcome. I've grown so much the past few months. I want to keep growing and taking chances. 

I can't stop now.

"Luke, who's Jordan?" Delilah asks.

I stop the car. I guess I can stop.

"What?" I ask.

"Jordan texted you."

I put the car in park.

"She's a friend I met at the hospital when my mom was there. She has leukemia."

Delilah nods. "Oh. Here."

I take my phone from Delilah and look at the message.

haven't seen you in awhile :( where ya been? I went back to our tree. miss you. <3

I sigh. The sweaty hands and shaky knees are back.

"She's just a friend, I promise you," I tell Delilah.

"Where's your tree?" 

I look over at Calum. His eyes are wide, and he's biting his lip.

"At a park. Calum and I took her there."

"You both know her?" she asks.

"Yeah," Calum and I say in unison.

She looks back and forth between Calum and me.

"It's nothing to be worried about," I assure Delilah. 

"Looks kind of suspicious." She looks like she could cry.

I look back at Calum. He's of no help in this situation.

I hop out of the car and open the door to the back seat and slide in beside Delilah.

"I'll give you some alone time," Calum says, stepping out of the car.

I'm afraid that when Calum leaves, Delilah will get really mad. I would never do anything with Jordan, but that text is suspicious without any background information. I can't imagine what's running through Delilah's mind right now.

I take both of Delilah's hands in mine.

"I'm kinda confused," she says quietly. "Who is she?"

"Delilah, I can promise you that nothing is going on between Jordan and I."

"Then why did you never mention her?" She won't look me in the eyes.

I shrug. "It was never really brought up, I guess. I've only known her since my mom's first chemo. We're just friends."

She squeezes my hands. "My biggest fear is that you'd find someone here that you liked more than me."

Delilah, a girl who I have always viewed as so strong and confident, is actually insecure. I guess everyone has worries and no one is made purely of steel. Even she has doubts, just like me. For some reason, seeing her get jealous and concerned over another girl makes me love her even more. 

"You are the only girl I love. No one else can come close. I promise. It takes a lot to warm my cold heart. You did that. That's why I love you. I could write a whole book about all the great qualities you have that I could never find in someone else. No girl can come close to you."

She finally looks up at me. She smiles a little. "You mean that?"

"Of course I do. I can't imagine loving anyone but you. Every day you're not with me, I think of you. My thoughts are always consumed by you. There'd be no room for another girl, trust me."

She smiles more. "I trust you. I'm sorry. I overreacted. All my worries came crashing down and I thought they were a reality. I'm sorry. I was stupid."

"Don't be sorry. It's okay. I understand. That text would have been concerning if I were you. But I promise you nothing has ever or will ever go on between us."

She kisses me quickly. "Never let me be a jealous teen girl like that again."

I laugh. "It happens to the best of us sometimes." 

"Let's pretend that never happened."

"It's okay. It's kinda nice to see you get jealous. You really like me that much?" I say, laughing.

She hits my arm. "It's embarrassing."

"It's fine. It shows you're feel and not just a figment of my imagination," I say, kissing her forehead. "Or a robot."

She rolls her eyes. "Can I meet her?" she asks.

"Yeah, sure. I can see when she's free."

I text Jordan back. I can see Calum peeking into the window discreetly. I give him a thumbs up.

He gets into the driver's seat. 

"Has the trouble in paradise been settled?" he asks.

"Yeah," I tell him, laughing.

"Okay, good. Besides, even if Luke was single, I'd take Jordan out before he could," Calum says.

Delilah laughs.

As we drive back to my house, I stare out the window and think. Life is one big road. There's twists and turns. There's road blocks and detours. There's smooth pavement and potholes. There's directions and getting lost. Anything can happen on the way to our destinations.

For me, it's been one wild ride so far.

hope you like this!!!

luke driving?? who would've thought

if you started school, I hope it's going well and you're surviving

love you!

ashley