a/n: hey guys, please read this before you read this chapter!

so, the next chapter will be the animatic chapter- But, unfortunately I havent finished it yet, but if i tried and rush the animatic for the next chapter- it will come out sloppy and the next chapter will end up being published after a week or two, so i wont be doing the animatic yet- but i will publish the chapter without it, but i will still do it.

anyways, i hope you enjoy this chapter which is in first person! I felt so sad and figured this was the perfect opportunity to write this chapter in first person.

this chapter is dedicated to @-johnlaurs-
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"I believe in you," Lies "The person you will grow to be and the couple we will be together." Liar.

"With my whole heart, I take you as my husband," I don't want to "Acknowledging and loving your faults and strengths, as you do mine." But I have to, don't I?

"I promise to be faithful and supportive and to make our love and happiness my priority." Knowing you, You won't be able to do that "I will be yours in plenty and in want," I don't want to be yours. "In sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph."

"I will dream with you," You will dream selfishly "Celebrate with you and walk beside you through whatever our lives may bring." Walk besides you as decoration for the rest of my life.

"You are my person." I am your slave "My love and my life," My death and demise "Today and always." I dreadedly finished.

Help me.

-

It's Funny. For years of living in fame and fortune, I never really got the chance to feel at peace.

I was always obligated to do something for the company. Every single day of my life I was instructed to be perfect, to look perfect, and to feel perfect.

It's like my life was already laid out for me before I was even born.

I was built to be this puppet for the powerful to use, a decoration for the world, entertainment for the greedy. I never got the chance to be just, Me.

But sometimes, I ask myself. Is all of this really worth it?

Will these things I do be benefecial to me in the future? Or will it be beneficial to someone else's future?

Will I be just an asset to someone? Will I never become a person I yearn to be?

I want to try and live for myself, Not to live for someone else. I want to try and experience new things, not what others want for me.

Can't I be selfish for once? Why is it that everything I do, Everything I want is a disgrace to everyone else's eyes?

Why does my actions matter to so many people who don't even know who the real me is? Why are my mistakes being broadcasted for the whole world to know? Why can't I have flaws like anybody else?

Why can't they just let me be human?

Does it really matter, The things I do in my life? Will my mistakes make them feel like a better person?

Will someone else's downfall be their happiness?

Is this what humanity has become?

Is Money, Fame, Fortune, Power and Lust the only things that matter in this world right now?

Does happiness really come from materialistic or popularity nowadays?

Because if that's the case, Then I'd rather die.

...Is this marriage worth it?

Worth ending my future, Worth risking what's left of my freedom for my family's power?

Worth throwing away the love I feel for the only person I have left? Worth living like a doll until the day I die?

Is wearing a mask all I can do? All I'm obligated to do? Will my lies ever stop? Will the endless abuse ever stop?

Will anyone ever see through this mask and truly ask how I feel? Will anyone just forget who I am and how high my standard is and focus on my dismay? Will anyone just scoop me in their arms and just ask me if I was fine-

"Mrs. Eliza?"

"Hu-huh?" I blinked twice "You look pale, Are you feeling fine?"

Are you feeling fine?

"Ah..." I inhaled deeply "Yes... I'm fine."

Liar.

"Okay then." The priest smiled "Let us continue on with the ceremony."

"In order to be lawfully married," He commenced "The State of New York requires that you both publicly declare that you take each other as spouses."

"Please face each other and when asked, respond by saying “I do.”

"Do you Alexander," He announces take Elizabeth as your lawfully wedded wife?" He continues "Do you promise to love her,"

No.

"Comfort her,"

Impossible.

"Honor and keep her, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, to be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?" The priest finished.

Unlikely.

"I do." Alexander said, His voice filled with order, No hesitation tainted on his powerful voice.

The priest gave him a bright but soft smile before turning to me "Do you Elizabeth, take Alexander as your lawfully wedded husband?"

Do I even have a choice?

Wait, do I have choice? Or just let this slide again, like those other things I was ordered to do by my parents. Will I let this one marriage ruin my entire future? Will I let my fear end my life here and now?

Probably, Yes.

"Do you promise to love him,"

I don't. I have sworn to love the only person I have left, and that will never change.

But I guess loveless marriages exist somewhere, Right?

Let's just do this.

"Comfort him,"

Probably, if his selfish desires let me do so. He never really did care about my feelings anyway, He never cared at all, why should I even comfort him?

"Honor and keep him,"

I am left with no choice. Might as well do as I was told, that's the only thing I have perfected in this damn life anyway.

"In sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others,"

I'm not ready for this commitment, But it's only a matter of time.

Am I really going to betray my own being and live being okay with this? Is this what I'm made for? What I'm born to do? To be someone else's toy?

"To be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?"

Will I let these two words ruin my entire life? My future? Destroy all the hard work I've done for this 'marriage'?

When my time is up, have I done enough? Enough to be satisfied? Enough to think that my life was worth it?

I let out a shaky sigh.

So many eyes staring right now, anticipating on what I am gonna answer, but judging on the greedy smiles on their faces, they already knew what I was expected to say.

I stared at Alexander's eyes, the eyes filled with so much pain, but was clouded with so much selfishness and power.

Come to think of it, Does he want this?

Why can't he see the downfall of everyone once this marriage is over, once our future is set, everyone else's is done for.

What will happen to our future? And when the time comes-- Explain to our children the pain and embarrasment you put your mother through? You put everyone through?

Why can't you see? When will you learn? That they are your legacy.

We, are your legacy.

...

This is it.

The two words that will be the result of my demise, or- My Redemption.

I smiled.

"I don't."