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"NO FREAKING WAY!"

That was my best friend Rita Lopez's reaction to the story I had just told her in first period. Since we luckily had a substitute today, it was only for a few seconds after attendance that he had control over the class and we had descended into chaos. This gave me the perfect time to tell her about what happened last night. Sure, I had planned to keep my mouth shut for the most part, but there were some people who you couldn't keep things from.

At least, you couldn't keep the fact that your boyfriend dumped you from them. Any and all things related to Carter Abram's were locked and sealed in an imaginary vault and I spent the whole ride to school making sure I forgot the combination to unlock it. I knew I would never be the one to brag about my sexual conquests, especially when they felt more like I was conquered, so there was a good chance that this wasn't going to get out until the fifty-year reunion.

That is, unless that airhead Carter sees that it should.

But I ensured myself a failsafe for that. On the ride to school, I had suddenly remembered how Liza Hamilton approached me at his party last night, clearly wanting to get back together with him despite their weird, wild history together and mysterious breakup. Liza was, if not a ten on the scale, then a rounded down nine. I didn't consider myself ugly enough to be disrespected in any way, but we both knew that if he told the school about our hookup, then he would ruin his chances with the prettiest girl for someone like me who just wasn't...that. Nasty, spiteful things would immediately circulate about the both of us and as much as I felt I was above all of the petty high school drama, the thought of trying to stack up to Liza was so hard for me to comprehend that I got a headache.

Carter hadn't said anything after I mentioned Liza to him, but he didn't have to. The look in his eyes as they met mine for a brief second before focusing completely on the road told me everything. I just had to fill in the blanks for him so that I was sure we were on the same page. In fact, his laser focus on the road had given him the drive to get us to school a minute before the first bell and we didn't have to worry about detention. It was clear as day that this denial was going to work out well for us. He could live without getting the sick satisfaction of bragging about how much sex he had for one person, I knew I would be replaced soon enough.

"Yes," I said with a groan, "it was so awful. I really thought we would last. At least long enough for the dance."

Walking into school this morning with Carter and not Landon was just a cruel reminder of all the awful things besides Carter's body in the nude that happened to me last night. Especially the signs hanging up for the St. Thaddeus Spring Fling. I could see a twitch in Carter as we passed by reminder after reminder to buy tickets, that he wanted to ask me as a joke or something, but I had really hit him deep into his core with the Liza situation.

Boys like him needed a reality check.

"It's okay," she said, grabbing up my hands in hers. "I broke up with Sandy a few weeks ago, she was always calling my mom and trying too hard to get close with my family and it felt creepy, we can just go to it stag and make fools out of ourselves. Or we can stay home because I heard a rumor that none of the seniors are going anyways. So then the cool juniors don't go either and we end up dancing with mostly sophomores and freshmen. That's just indisputably and undeniably not the move here."

Rita did have a point, as she always did. Not to mention, a really big house in the suburbs where all of our friends could hang for the night, watch movies, go swimming, and have a sleepover. It was the ideal retreat space, especially after debate meets would go on into the night at schools outside of the city. Even her parents were fun and we could have a great time with them upstairs in their bedroom because it wasn't like we were alcoholics.

Of course, I wasn't sure if I could go back to my Rated PG-13 life after Carter's party, despite how much I hated it. Then again, if anything were to go back to normal, then a change of pace was exactly what I needed before I got used to the rush of living Carter's life.

I sighed, picking up my book and opening it. "Yeah, we can probably check it out and see if it's lame and if it is, we can go to your place."

Rita raised a questioning eyebrow. "Who said my place is on the table? I was thinking about yours."

After that, she put on a pouty lip and batted her eyelashes and I knew she meant one thing, the very one thing I didn't want to entertain.

"You have got to be kidding me," I groaned, burying my face in my palms. I couldn't even look at her.

"Hey, if we go to your place then it would be perfect," she began to explain. "Your parents are awesome and last time I remember, you have enough room for a decent sized group."

My hands fell from my face so I could narrow my eyes at her. "Oh yeah, my living room with so much space is why you would drive all the way into the city for a high school dance you're not going to. Sounds about right. Definitely not about my next door neighbor, the devil himself."

"Okay, fine," she said in defeat. "But that situation would be a win-win. We don't know if Carter is throwing yet or not, so if we do go to your house, we can stay at your house and watch movies like always. Right?"

"I don't win in this situation because my house is being used for you and the rest of our ingrate friends as a backup plan if you don't get into another party." When her expression remained unfazed, I added, "A Carter Abrams party, by the way. Who's to say we'll even get in, Ree?"

"That's where your party comes in," she supplied, a smug grin on her face as if she had really thought this whole thing through. Maybe she had, or at least about thirty percent of it. There was still a lot of logic that was missing for my taste. "Besides, you're our way in, Mia."

I froze. What in the world did she mean by that? Because if she meant what I thought she meant, then boy there would be some explaining to do by somebody. Most likely Carter before I strangled him to death. I couldn't even come up with a way Rita would know such a thing without me telling her myself. Last I checked, she had as small of a chance — if not, then even smaller — of casually talking to Carter or any of his cronies as I did.

Rita's look softened. "Come on, you're his next door neighbor. I know you think you're above all this high school shit and sometimes I feel like I am too, but don't you want that glorified high school experience? After all, I know that even if you don't go to an Ivy League, you're still going to work yourself to death in college."

I tried to think of some catty way to turn her down, but she was right in some sense. I just felt different at that party last night, like someone else and I'm sure it was the alcohol talking, but I was listening. I feel that despite the chaos and the hookup — in other words, me living in the mistake I made and not said mistake itself because that was fun as well — it was well worth exploring again and getting it right the next time.

Before I could say anything that would seal my fate, the bell rung and I was saved.

"We'll talk about this later," I agreed before gathering up my things and making my way for the the door before she could utilize however much time she had to convince me even further that having Carter in my life again would be something that could work for the better.

Of course, Rita had a better stride than I did and she caught up with me very easily. "Look," she said, placing a hand on my shoulder. "I know you absolutely hate living next to Carter because he's so loud and never lets you study and all of that. But think about it, we've both been dumped recently. And we can drown ourselves in as much school work and responsibilities to other people as we want, but what about ourselves? What ever happened to getting wasted and sending your ex ugly text messages that you regret when you realize it happened, but look back on them and think they're funny?"

Oh dear, that's definitely something I needed to check and see if I did or not.

"Ree, we were never those people," I reasoned.

"Because we never had to be." She sighed. "Not until now."

I blinked, the truth in her words hitting me like a deadweight. But truth be told, I had already tried what she was suggesting and if it hadn't gone so wrong, then I would be able to tell her that it wasn't worth it from experience. Of course, there was a little voice in the back of my head nagging that Carter was good in bed and that I was being a baby about this whole situation. That I should just accept that I rebounded with Carter, especially since that was a surefire way for me to 'win the breakup.'

But Landon would see right through it, he knew me better than most, even a lot more than Rita. He would see me acting out because I was hurt and sharing something so intimate to me with someone who probably couldn't give a damn if they tried. Who cared what the masses thought when the one person who I wanted to affect wouldn't even bat an eye?

Or maybe, I was going about this all wrong.

Maybe a little bit more of Carter in my life was the change I needed to put Landon behind me for good. Not getting back into bed with the devil himself, but in his house at a party would be a world of a difference from how Landon kept me the way he liked me. I needed to use this golden opportunity to figure out who I was when I was doing everything that I liked and open myself up to possibilities I would've never dreamed of when I was still in my comfort zone.

"Okay, maybe it's just because it's Monday, but I surprisingly agree with you on this," I said to her with a soft smile.

I knew I was getting myself in over my head and that just trying to be platonic friends with Carter Abrams would take every little piece of me just to barely make a fraction of the progress Rita expected from me.

Because life treated me the way it did, I just had to see Carter walking in the hall with Jack and Ryan. They were goofing around, Ryan with Jack in a headlock as he gave the other boy a noogie, Carter looking on in amusement. The sight of him brought back everything, especially the memory of him wearing a whole lot less than the polo and dark jeans he wore now.

Why was he plaguing my mind the way he was? I wasn't the most religious person — my parents tried to get me to go to church at an early age, but got tired of me not being able to sit still during mass — but I had a feeling there was divine intervention here, like a higher power was trying to punish me. For what, I wasn't entirely sure.

To add proof to my theory that God was punishing me, Carter's eyes met mine from across the hall and I swear, I felt my heart stop. The side of his lips curled up into a smug look as he raised a subtle eyebrow and I had a feeling that this boy would be the death of me.