It's late, and there's a mistletoe overhead. I remember it through layers of fog, no more. It's as if not I but another Canis was there last night, with Indy, his dark purple fur glowing in the fire of Torch's tail.

All too soon. Glowing orange eyes. Fire. Warmth. Him pulling up to me. I expected a kiss, a nuzzle, him rubbing my Verhamera's Horns on mine.

No, he wanted to be brother and sister, that was it.

It's like being friendzoned, but somehow we felt like kin.

There was a memory. Someone else, another purple Canis, in the snow so long ago. No, I kissed that one, I was sure. Who was he? Why can't I remember? Then I was looking at Torch, remembering another Canis so long ago...

No, no, no.

Something wrong.

Not me, not me, never me.

Wishes gone terribly wrong.

A breath in, a breath out.

"Rena Swift." He says.

Why is his voice so familiar? The laughing, the sweet tone.

I don't know what I agreed to that night. I remember him cutting his paw, and me cutting mine, swearing to be siblings until the end of time, kin until death parts us.

I remember Gale coming in, Gale snarling, Gale seeing the blood.

"What are you doing?"
I remember my own expression in his eyes, the empty smile. "Hello, Gale."

I remember waking up.

"OH MY VERHAMERA HOLIDAY PARTY GALE INDY WHAT IS GOING ON."
Everyone wakes up, bleary eyed.

"You really, really got at it with the egg nog. Remind me never to let you near egg nog ever again." Minx sums it up.

"You engaged in a totally not satanic ritual with Indy that involved blood sharing and made yourselves siblings." hisses Nina across the room. "I don't know why Gale hangs out with you. You and Indy have been going at it forever now."

"I was completely intoxicated on egg nog!" I protest. "What's in that stuff, anyways?"

"Well, last year, Katrina, Heather, and Glaze dumped an entire barrel of cider into the egg nog. I don't think anyone got over that for a week. Then there was this Call 2.... I think that was right before Heather died, she was so lucky she didn't die there. I think it was our poorest performance ever." mentions Auma, who's rarely asleep this long.

I get up, shuffle my wings, uncomfortable with the eyes of all my peers apon me. "I'm sorry for everything I don't remember doing last night."

"We all are." Flare says. "You just wait, if you're messed up now wait until initiation."

My wings grow rigid. "What is initiation?! No one's told me and everyone's mentioned it!"
The others give each other knowing looks.

Fyera smiles.

"Tonight, my friend. Tonight is the night."

I spend the whole day cold and distant from Gale, who refuses to talk to me.

"I'm sorry. I was on egg nog." I repeat the words for the fifth time today.

"Well, Indy isn't. I thought siblings were supposed to have mutual feelings?"

Growling, I slam his side. "Gale, you're an idiot. You know, if we're going to talk about holiday party problems, there have been some rumors about you and Nina getting into the holiday spirit in the-"

"She kissed me a few times and then took all nine of her tails, which have these creepy bent claw things, and dragged them down my back until it bled. We did not have any fun at the party."

"On the contrary, she probably had lots of fun. So what's this about initiation?"

"None of the guys will tell me what's going on. Torch scowled and said something about hiding his cider, Azim said nothing which is nothing like him at all, and I would never talk to Indy anyways."

"You don't have to hate each other."

"You don't have to choose him over me all the time."

"Gale, you're-"

"Shut up. Maybe you should get initiated with Indy instead."

"I... Gale...."

He's gone, disappearing into shadow, which is one of his new tricks. Sometimes I miss my old Gale, the two of us cuddled up in Natrina's Forest, his tail around mine and my wing draped over his back. A promise of protection- I'll be here for you. I trust you. I'll fight for you.

If we had just met each other now, would we be friends at all?

It's nighttime and both of us are waiting in the garage, everyone except Auma.

"Where's Auma?" I ask. "If this is a huge tradition, then why isn't she here?"

"She's not really supportive of this." Glaze explains. "For multiple reasons."

Flare takes the lead, jumping up to where Auma usually stands. "Well, as our newest recruits, this year you have the honor of being the ones to partake in Initiation. It's simple- all you have to do is sneak into Torch's room, find his cider, and chug all of it. He gets a huge gallon from Spritz, and he keeps another barrel downstairs."

"Simple?" Gale groans. "What do we get from this?"
"Respect. In my year," Flare flashes a grin, "I drank the whole gallon. Fyera chugged another gallon of it in the basement."

"I was tipsy for half a week." Fyera says somberly, but then a mad fire lights in her eyes, "It was worth it."

"So, do you two accept this challenge? No turning back when you're in, you know."

"Accept! Accept! Accept!" Everyone's cheering now.

"I do." I say, trying to puff up my fur and look powerful but really just looking like a marshmallow.

"Me too. Let's do this." Gale swings his tail in a wide arc.

"Right. Axel will have security footage of you two all night. Got it?"

"Done." We say in unison.

The two of us descend into darkness together, leaving the cheers for the shadows of the tower at night.

He's a creature of the night by instinct, but I am by choice, and for him. Because of him, I walk this path of shadow. I am not afraid of the night, it is my friend. Together, in this shadowy abyss, our paces match perfectly, our breaths go in and out as one, and we are reconciled. I can feel his tension, his anger, power and loneliness rippling behind his golden eyes and dark black markings.

"I do care about him like a brother, but we'll always be more than that." I whisper.

"I know. I just don't want you to forget me, alright?"

" I would never, ever forget about you, and you already know that."

"Whatever. We're almost to his room, keep down."

His ears fall back a bit, his fur bristling, but overall he stays poised.

I press the button. I wince as the door opens, bit by bit, retreating into the wall. There's no way he didn't hear that.

Thankfully, Torch is snoring and doesn't seem to hear a thing. He has his cider on the opposite side of his cozy nest of blankets, trying to keep us away.

"We're going to have to step over him, aren't we?" Gale whispers.

I shrug, but then consent and nod, stepping towards it. He shoves me back, and then takes a deep breath. A shadowy claw opens from the floor like a grotesque flower. "Allow me."

"Eh." I breathe, my whispers barely recognizable as words.

His claw extends over, and I lean in so close I'm standing over Torch, and I can read the large parchment wrapped around the gallon or so of cider- "This is for the legendary holiday parties. Tell my daughter I'm well. Might come next spring, huge revolt of Sentient prey (mainly Phocae, I don't get it, they're just seals) and well, we have some new holes in the iceberg. Keep calm and believe in the rainbow. Your best friend (hopefully), Spritz."

That's so sweet. I hope my friends still care about me when I'm older. That is, if we're all still alive and well. At this rate, I know they'll probably make it. They're strong.

Suddenly, there's a loud screech from the hallway. Gale loses his concentration and the entire thing of cider falls on Torch's head.

It spreads all over him with the steady glug glug glug of a bottle emptying.

"Gale, you're an idiot."

Then Torch wakes up.

"Darkky... what..." His eyes adjust to the darkness as his fire flares up with a hiss of evaporating, fifty year old apple juice. Also known as cider. "It's that time of the year isn't it?"

"Uhhhhhh." Gale and I look at each other.

"There's screaming down that hall. Gotta check it out. Buh bye." Gale runs down the hall with the speed of a racehorse.

I follow, not knowing where we're going, but hoping desperately that it's less awkward than this.