He has a surprise for me. And I don't know why but I'm excited to know what it is! It's been years since someone had a surprise for me! At least a pleasant one. I hope it's a pleasant one. I don't think Caleb would do anything I wouldn't like, but that's what I thought about Darien too. Could Caleb end up being just like Darien? I really hope he won't. I'm starting to get really attached to this place, to him. It would be terrible for history to repeat itself once more.

I walk to our room, apparently, and slowly open the door. My heart is racing and my hands are shaking but when I finally enter the room Caleb is sitting on the bed with a large box in front of him.

"Relax cupcake, it's just a present" he says chuckling. I guess he can hear my heart.

Isn't it weird? I mean, he has all the abilities to know everything about me just my stretching his ears or sniffing the air, like I can't hide anything from him! He will know I'm on my period probably before I do!

"I would give anything to know what goes on in your mind right now" he says and I chuckle.

"That's for me to know and for you to wonder"

"Not for long, cupcake" he smirks. "Go on open the box, it's not gonna bite, I promise" he says pointing to the large box in front of him and I take a careful step towards it.

"What is it?"

"A surprise"

"Obviously, but what?"

"Just open it" he smiles and I sigh taking another step towards the box. I sit down next to it but as soon as I do it moves. The freaking box freaking moved!

"Is there an animal in there!?" I rush to open it so that the poor thing can breathe.

A cute little cuddly fluffy puppy pops it's head out and looks at me with shiny eyes.

"Oh my god it's so cute! Where did you get it? Look at it, like a little ball of fur and those tiny pointy ears!"

"He was wondering around the forest alone. It's a wolf pup. Since this is werewolf territory, wolves are not so common around here. But this little guy must have strayed from his pack, probably got lost or fell behind"

"Caleb he is adorable! But we can't keep him, he must go back to his family. He's not a dog, he's a wolf. Wolfs are not domestic animals they need to be free or else they are dangerous" I say but as soon as the words leave my mouth I realize what I just said.

I look at Caleb and his eyes are golden. His wolf wants to come out. I shouldn't have said that.

"You think I'm dangerous?" he sounds so broken and I'm just standing there feeling so guilty.

"I'm sorry Caleb I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm really sorry" I say hugging him but he pulls away from me.

"Wolves are not domestic, what does that mean? We are domestic! We want a family and we love kids and...and I can't believe you just said that" He says and his eyes are switching from gold to green and then again gold.

"I didn't mean it, I was wrong. I'm sorry". I realize a tear runs down my cheek. I feel horrible for hurting him.

Caleb snaps out of his trance, his eyes back to their natural green color.

"Hey, no I'm sorry" he says and pulls me in for a hug. "My wolf, he took it the wrong way, I'm sorry" he says but his wolf was right.

"No he was right, I shouldn't have said that"

"Well, if you could hear him now he's so sorry he made you cry he doesn't even remember what you said so don't worry" he says still hugging me.

The puppy nudges me and then runs around the room happily. I chuckle and watch him play with a rug he found.

"Does he have a name?" I ask.

"My wolf? Yeah, he's Jax" says Caleb and I laugh.

"Nice to meet you Jax, but I meant the pup"

"Oh. Yeah of course you meant the pup" he says chuckling. "He's currently nameless"

"We should name him, and then find his family. I'm sure he misses them"

"You are right. But if we don't find his family, he can stay with us, right?"

"Of course. But I have a question. How did you know I liked dogs. What if I was a cat person?" I say and he smirks.

"You're my mate, cupcake. No way you prefer a feline over a canine! I'm living proof"

~~~

There are only 4 days left until the deadline I gave him. And I couldn't be more indecisive. I have feelings for Caleb, there's no point denying that. I don't know if it's love but I don't think I will be able to hurt him like that. If I decide to die, he will die with me. It's not just my life I'm deciding for anymore. I have his life on my hands too. And obviously I don't want his blood on them as well.

But my darkness still follows me. That cloud of depression still hangs above me and I can't seem to shrug it off. Every day I have to fight the urge to pick up a razor and put an end to my misery. Every day I have to push away my "sad thoughts" and put on a fake smile, like I always did. And it is killing me that I can't kill me!

I asked Caleb many times if there is a way to break the mate bond, to unlink our lives. If there is a way for me to die and him to live. He either says there isn't one, or he changes the subject. But even if there was a way I don't think he would tell me. He wants me to live and the mate bond is the only thing keeping me alive. He is the only thing keeping me alive.

I subconsciously play with the steak on my plate, lost in my thoughts, while the rest of the pack eats and talks and laughs around me. I hear someone calling my name but I continue playing with my food, not really understanding that someone wants my attention.

I really need to figure out me feelings for Caleb. If what I feel is love, then maybe, just maybe I could find some happiness in this world. If I love him maybe my will to live will return. Right?

"Emma, are you okay?" says Caleb nudging me slightly, breaking me from my nirvana.

"Oh, yeah, sorry just got distracted for a moment. Did you say something?"

"Yeah, I asked you why you're not eating. What are you thinking about?" he asks and I look at my plate once more trying to find a believable lie.

I can't actually tell him that I am thinking about him!

"Nothing important, really" I say but I know he knows that's a lie. Thankfully he doesn't insist, but changes the subject.

"Whatever it is, you must eat. If you don't like the steak there is also some chicken..." he says and I smile.

"The steak is fine. It's just I'm not that hungry" I say and stand up to excuse myself from the table.

"Emma, did I do something wrong?" he says worrily.

"No you didn't. Don't worry, I just need a moment to think" I say and head towards our room.

What am I going to do? He is just so perfect! He cares about me, worries over little things, he gives me anything I want and all he has ever asked me is to stay alive. I just can't be the reason of his death. Just the thought of it makes me cry.

His lifeless body in front of me, his eyes closed shut, his beautiful tanned skin now pale and cold. I can't do it. I just can't.

Caleb runs in the room and sits next to me, a worried look on his face. He must have heard my heart beat. I think I'm having a panic attack.

"Cupcake, hey! Breathe! Look at me. Calm down. I'm here" he cups my face and forces me to look in his eyes. Those vivid green eyes with the hints of golden here and there. I see them lose their color, their vividness. I killed him.

"Emma, come on! Snap out of it. You are okay. Look at me, everything is okay" he tries to southe my panic but there is no point. It's getting harder to breathe and my eyes are full of tears.

"Dammit Emma!" he exclaims and pulls me closer. His lips touch mine and I instantly freeze. Panic is replaced by butterflies and the tingles from the mate bond run all over my body. His tongue finds its way around mine while his hands hold me tight. He is kissing me.

He breaks the kiss, allowing me to breathe, but his hands are still raped around me.

"I'm here" he whispers to me, I keep my eyes closed and focus on his voice, on his touch. Now it's clear.

I am in love with Caleb.