Saga met with the merchant and readjusted the plans she had made for the interior of the castle. Though Viggo had told her to not hurry with any renovation, Saga couldn't stop herself from it. She shuddered at the mere thought of her father's reaction if he saw the current state of the castle. Not that she believed she could get it up to his standards in time; not that she wanted the castle to ever reach his standards. But she could at least minimise his displeasure.

So two guest bedrooms—the two biggest ones; one for her father and the other for her sister—and the banquet hall were the top priority. New furniture, new windows, ornaments and decorations. The bedroom which her father would use she bought extra decorations for, making the room by far the most extravagant room in the castle with intricate candelabras, a painting of a dragon, thick and soft carpets, a divider with landscape motives, furniture with hand-carved patterns.

Every decision she took caused nausea, but she didn't allow herself to hesitate; there wasn't time for it.

She also called for the seamstress and had two new dresses made for her. One to wear the evening her father would arrive, the other for her birthday banquet. With all the clothes she had bought before, she had always stopped the seamstress' complicated plans, choosing comfort over style. The seamstress had half-heartedly started giving suggestions for fancier options, but as Saga had agreed to them this time, the seamstress' suggestions had grown in boldness until Saga knew she would hate wearing the dresses though look beautiful in.

She also forced Viggo to meet the seamstress.

"Is this really necessary?" he kept asking as the seamstress took his measurements.

"Yes," Saga insisted. "You will need to wear something for my birthday banquet."

"What is wrong with what I usually wear?" he grumbled, but no matter how much he complained, he stayed until the seamstress was done with him.

Together, Saga and Viggo also made some changes regarding sleeping arrangements for the visit. Though they wouldn't have space to host the whole of her father's entourage within the castle's ground and some would have to sleep in the inn, she knew he would want some close by. As such, a few of the knights would sleep in the unrenovated bedrooms in the castle to give space to her father's knights in the knights' lodging. Among those sleeping within the castle was Kai, who would, together with Audun, sleep in the room adjacent to Saga and Viggo's bedroom for convenience.

Next Saga had discussed the menu with the cook and said no to several of his suggestions. It had all been food she loved to eat, but she was well aware of what her father preferred. So instead of the roast the cook had suggested for her birthday, she instructed him to prepare fish; confirming it was no issue that it would be expensive to get a hold of considering the time of the year.

She also had a conversation with Erna, one which had proven to be unnecessary as the woman had already thought of everything regarding cleaning every corner of the castle.

The preparations took up all of Saga's time during those weeks. She woke up with a list of things to see to and went to bed with an equally long list of things for the next day. But she welcomed it. When she went to sleep, she was too exhausted to think of anything more, stopping her from lying awake with her anxiety. Even as she slept, her exhaustion was clear, as not a single dream invaded her mind.

But on the day of their arrival, everything was in order; she had nothing to occupy her day with other than waiting, and all the anxiety she had avoided feeling surfaced.

Her mind was spiralling already the moment she woke up. Thoughts of what it would be like to see her father again flooded her. Thoughts about how many times she would displease him to the point that he wanted to beat her.

Sitting up in bed, she drew the blanket closer and reminded herself over and over that he couldn't do that. Kai would always be with her, and if her father hurt her, then Viggo would be within his rights to send him away. She was safe.

Yet her heart hurt with how it beat behind her ribcage, as if it tried to find a way out.

"Oh, you're awake," Viggo's voice penetrated her panicked thoughts. "Do I really need to wear this? I feel ridiculous."

Raising her head, the thoughts of her father left Saga's mind.

Viggo wore a dark blue tunic which went down to his knees, the same blue as the knights and staff wore—the blue of Sinkbek—but it had golden embroideries reminiscent of feathers round the neck and down the middle of his chest, as well as on the edge of the long, wide sleeves. Rather low, so it rested on his hips, he had a leather belt with metalwork of a dragon. Over his legs he wore tight white coverings. On his feet he wore his usual leather shoes, but on the top of his head was a black floppy cap which hung to the right and had a golden feather fastened to the brim on the left.

He looked as ridiculous as he surely felt. Ridiculous enough, Saga's mind couldn't process anything else. She had seen men wear similar things before and never thought they had looked ridiculous, but it was simply so different from anything she had seen Viggo in. Even during their wedding, she couldn't remember him having worn anything fancy. Not that she remembered much of the wedding, with how anxious she had been.

She felt her lips tug upwards, and she fought it. But the smile won, followed by a laugh. A laugh which started quietly, but increased until she was bending over from it. A laugh she wasn't certain had so much to do with Viggo's appearance as it did her need for a release.

"You're not making me feel any less ridiculous," he muttered.

Saga dried the corner of her eyes where tears had formed from her laughter and took some deep breaths to compose herself. Viggo glared off to the side where he stood, arms crossed over his chest.

"You can take the hat off," Saga told him to alleviate some of his misery. "It really doesn't fit you."

Viggo did not need to be told twice. He removed it and threw it so it landed in a corner.

"What about these... things on my legs? They're tight and uncomfortable. Do I really need to wear them?" he whined next, looking down at his body.

"They are fashionable," Saga countered.

"Doesn't make them any more comfortable," he mumbled, his whole demeanour giving the vibes of a child complaining.

"How about this? You can wear normal pants today, but promise you'll wear those tomorrow evening?" Saga relented, and like the child he acted as in the moment, Viggo instantly brightened.

"Alright! Sounds fair," he agreed before dashing behind the divider to change out of them.

Saga stifled the new oncoming laughter and instead got out of bed. From the wardrobe she withdrew the dress she would wear that day. Dark blue, like Viggo's tunic, and with golden embroidery much more complicated than what was on the tunic. The skirt of the dress was much bigger than what she was used to, and she would wear a framing skirt underneath to make the fabric fall as it should.

She did not look forward to dressing in it, knew she would feel ridiculous like Viggo had, but she was more afraid of seeing her father's sneer if she wore what she was used to.

"You don't have to wear that, you know," Viggo pointed out, having come back out from behind the divider wearing normal pants. "You don't need to impress him."

Saga shook her head, for she did. Though she couldn't find any logical reason, it wasn't like her father had any control over her life anymore. Except for his words still whispering in her mind.

"I have a birthday present for you," Viggo said next. Saga turned from the dress to stare at him. "I know your birthday is first tomorrow, but I thought it might be better you receive it now, before your father arrives."

He walked to the wardrobe and reached furthest inside. From there he brought out a rectangular wooden box with an image of two dragons breathing fire carved into the lid.

While Viggo held the box, Saga slid the lid off. The inside was dressed in red velvet, and there lay a dagger in silver with red gemstones of varying sizes decorating the handle.

It was the most beautiful object Saga had ever seen, and she did not know what to say. Not only because of the item, but because of so much more.

It was the first birthday gift she had received since her sixth birthday. And for her, that it was a dagger felt like Viggo apologising again for how he had acted and telling her he believed in her, in her strength.

"I hope you find it beautiful enough so you'll feel fine always carrying it around you. Just in case," he murmured.

Saga nodded, still not finding words. Then she moved closer. He put the box back down inside the wardrobe as she hugged him, his arms going around her as well.

And in that hug, Saga wished Viggo was her father instead of her own.

"I'll call on Erna for you so you can get dressed," Viggo said when the hug ended, then kissed her forehead before leaving her alone.

Thankfully, Erna was right outside with another maid, not allowing Saga a moment alone to have her mind spiralling again. And getting ready was difficult enough she didn't then either. First, a corset drawn so tight she doubted she would be able to eat a thing. Next, the cage-like underskirt, which caused the skirt to stand out at the sides, making it twice as wide as she was.

After she was dressed, Erna braided and pulled her hair into a bun in which she placed pearled clips. Followed by applying powder and such to Saga's face, making her complexion paler and her cheeks and lips redder. Lastly, a golden necklace was placed on her chest, weighing her down.

When it was all done, Saga didn't feel like herself anymore. Not like the one she had slowly become; the Lady of Sinkbek who felt pride in what she had accomplished. Instead, she felt more like she had when she had first arrived. Like someone pretending. Like a beast dressed like a beauty.

"How are you feeling, Lady Saga?" Erna asked as Saga stood from the chair.

She tried to smile at the older woman, but the clothes, the jewellery, the cosmetics on her face all weighed her down too much for it.

"I know my opinion might not matter, but you look beautiful. Different from how you usually look, but still beautiful," Erna told her. "Though, if I may be so bold, I think the Lady's usual clothing fits her much more, and she would look even more beautiful wearing that."

Saga cast her gaze downwards. "Not everyone would agree," she mumbled to the floor.

"I think those who wouldn't agree are blind, milady."

Looking up again, Saga found it possible to smile. She moved forward, and Erna reached out and took her hands, squeezed them lightly.

"Are you ready, Lady Saga?" Erna asked, indicating the door.

"There's just one more thing," Saga said and walked over to the wardrobe to take the dagger out again.

"So beautiful," Erna commented.

"It is," Saga agreed. "I need some way to carry it with me."

"Do you have a sheath for it?"

Saga turned back to the box to see if there was one, only to move the velvet in there and realise it wasn't velvet fastened to the box. It dressed a sheath in a way that the velvet would make it look more like a pouch. And placing the dagger there, she also noticed the top went so far up she could decide herself if she wanted the hilt to be displayed or not, making it possible for her to carry it without anyone knowing what was inside.

Hiding the hilt from view, Erna helped her fasten it to a ribbon around her waist. Then the two of them exited.

Saga had expected the corridor to be empty, but not only did Viggo stand there waiting for her, he was joined by Audun and Kai. All three men had been looking in different directions, but all three turned to her. Their faces froze seeing her, making her question her clothing for the first time. For though she did not like wearing it, she had been certain it was the correct option, but seeing them stunned made her wonder if she had taken it too far.

"Is it too much?" she asked, shuffling her feet hidden by the skirt.

"No," Viggo was the first to unfreeze. "It's just... different. But you look as beautiful as ever."

She gave him a shy smile before looking at the other two. Audun gave her a nod, but Kai continued to be completely frozen.

"I have a few last things to tend to," Viggo told her next. "Or rather, I need to again ensure the knights know to not pick any unnecessary fights with the Duke's knights. Kare has been joking about challenging them one too many times. Kai will keep to your side. Okay?"

"Okay," she nodded, and he gave her one more kiss on the forehead before leaving with Audun. Before leaving her with the still frozen squire.

"Kai?" she said and took a step closer.

He blinked a couple of times and seemed to come out of whatever reverie he had found himself in.

"You've not eaten yet, have you, Lady Saga?" he asked. "Shall we head for the dining hall?"

They fell into steps side-by-side in silence. A silence which felt uncomfortable and deeply unsettling to Saga. As if something brewed in Kai, like dark clouds closing in.

"What's on your mind?" she therefore asked as they descended the stairs.

He shook his head. "I'd rather not say."

"Why not?" she frowned.

"I'm afraid I would offend the Lady."

She stopped to stare at him. To with her eyes urge him to say it anyway. He sighed and looked away from her.

"The Lady is beautiful, like always. But... this is not you, and I don't understand why you don't feel safe enough to be you. Or I know it is because of your father; I've understood that much. But I still can't understand why you don't feel safe enough."

It was far from what she had expected. It hadn't even been in her imagination that he would think such a thing. That he saw that part of her so clearly.

"This is me. Just a different part of me," she answered, hoped he would accept the answer and not try to probe any more.

But he shook his head. "I do not believe that. I won't press you about why you don't feel safe to be yourself, though. It is fine if you don't want to tell me, Lady Saga. You can tell me as much or as little as you want. I will keep you safe all the same."

Kai turned away from her and walked a few steps further down. A part of Saga knew it would be best if she told him a lie, something to steer him away from the truth, which he was getting closer to, which she found harder and harder to contain. But she also found the thought of bluntly lying to him unbearable. The half-lies, the omissions of the truth were one thing. To tell a complete lie was something else entirely, and maybe she had been able to do it before when she didn't know him. Now she couldn't anymore.

So she fell into steps a couple of paces behind him. Followed his path to the dining hall. Outside of it, Kai turned back to her. He smiled at her, the brewing dark clouds clearing for the blue sky.

"You know, I think you can wear anything and you'll still look beautiful," he said. His tone casual, and he didn't linger on his words, but held the door open for her to enter. The words wrapped themselves around Saga, though, and she grabbed hold of them, hoped they could work as a shield.

The day went by slowly. At some point, Saga was certain time had even stopped. She kept to the dining hall, the familiar communal space. And Kai kept telling her story after story, making her laugh, making her almost forget the dread coursing through her.

But the moment the faint sound of the trumpets reached them in the afternoon, dread was the only thing inside her. So strong and intense she couldn't even get her body to work, to move out of the seat, to hear anything else, to see what was around her. The dread, the trumpets ringing in her ears, the phantom pain across her back.

Then a hand in hers.

"I'll be right there next to you," Kai reassured her as she met his gaze.

She nodded and found herself able to move again. Together, they left the dining hall, went to stand on the stairs outside the castle. Viggo was already there, and he stepped closer to her, put an arm around her and held her to his side. The scent of forest hit her. The most calming scent she knew.

"He won't be allowed alone with you," Viggo murmured and pressed his lips to the top of her head.

She swallowed and repeated those words as the carriage bearing the sign of an eagle rolled into view. Repeated that Kai would stay right next to her as the carriage approached. Repeated that Astrid had promised to ensure anyone who touched her would never do it again as the carriage came to a stop. Repeated that she had nothing to fear because her father couldn't touch her as a servant opened the carriage door. Thought to herself that if her father dared to touch her, she had a whole castle of knights who would defend her as her father stepped out of the carriage.