Saga wasn't left unattended after her father had tried getting her alone. Kai stayed with her inside the bedroom. After she had calmed down, he suggested he'd practice reading. As such, they sat at the table by the window. Saga listened as Kai stammered his way through a book about medicinal plants she had brought from the library to read. At times, she would help him along if he got stuck on a word for too long, but mostly she was quiet and listened to him.

It was soothing. It felt normal. Enough so she could almost forget about what had transpired. Forget about how she had crumbled.

What she had feared had happened. Though she knew her father wasn't good for her, though she knew he would have hurt her had they been left alone, she had fallen into her usual patterns. Had invited the monster in to harm her.

If Kai had not remained unyielding, her skin would have been split open. All which she had gained since coming to Sinkbek would have bled out on the floor.

She shuddered at the thought.

It was well into the afternoon when a knock came at the door, followed by Viggo stepping inside. His eyes first swept over Saga in a way which made her head bend, though she still kept her eyes on him. Then his gaze moved over to Kai, and it grew softer.

"You did well," Viggo said, confirming he knew what had transpired.

Kai smiled back, shone brighter, and stood. "I'll be outside."

When Kai passed Viggo, the latter gave him a clap on his shoulder before Viggo turned his attention fully on Saga. He walked over, took the seat Kai had vacated.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Good," she answered, she lied. Though it was only partly a lie. Being in the bedroom alone with Kai had helped her, but she knew the moment she stepped outside, the moment she saw her father again, that comfort would fall.

And Viggo let out a sigh, making it clear to Saga he knew it hadn't been the truth. But he didn't press.

"I have sorted the final arrangements for the journey now, and we need to talk about it," he said, then waited for her to nod before continuing. "We'll bring Magni along for you to ride parts of it if you would want to. But for most of the journey you would ride in a carriage together with your father and sister."

Viggo reached his hand out and took hold of Saga's, drew circles on it. But Saga felt as though the entire room had been plunged into darkness. The afternoon rays of sun didn't penetrate the window anymore, as if shadows had drawn together to block the light, to cover all of Saga.

Even with Kai present, she had offered herself to her father. How much would she offer after having been alone with him and her sister in a cramped space?

"It won't be only the three of you," Viggo added, and the shadows turned to fog, letting some light in. "Hrafen will be in the carriage as well."

The room swam in the soft glow of the afternoon sun again. Hrafen could make Saga feel uncomfortable with his rude bluntness, but she could also not imagine a better shield against her father. She did not doubt the Sinkbek knights ability to physically protect her from her father—Kai had managed well. But she had noticed the way his hand had reached for his sword, and they could not afford a physical confrontation with her father; the risks were too great.

Hrafen, on the other hand, wielded his intellect, making it a prominent weapon. Saga would not be surprised if the mage infuriated her father during the journey. But no matter how much her father tried to do the same, Saga imagined Hrafen would stay as impassive as always. She could not imagine anything rattling the man.

But the relief that Hrafen would be with her in the carriage was tainted by what their last conversation had been.

Saga had not talked with him since calling him rude, inappropriate, and mean. Since saying he was the mage of Sinkbek and nothing else. Since breaking off their friendship.

She needed to, however. Both because, though she barely admitted it, she missed Hrafen and because she needed his help to be allowed to follow to the ruined city. Since finding out her father would visit, everything else had been forgotten for her. But they would soon be in the capital, and soon Viggo would leave for the ruined city. She didn't even know how soon. For all she knew, they would arrive in the capital and Viggo would need to leave straight away. So she needed to convince Hrafen to help her during the journey. And that he would ride in the carriage with her would make it much easier to find an opportunity to speak with him alone.

"Do you think that would be fine?" Viggo asked. His fingers halting the soothing circles against Saga's palm while waiting for an answer.

"Yes," Saga nodded.

Viggo's expression eased and his fingers moved again. "Good," he said, then looked out the window. "It's not too long until dinner. We should start preparing."

He rose from the chair; to go behind the divider, no doubt. To put on the uncomfortable clothes Saga had forced on him.

"You needn't change clothes," Saga said before he disappeared behind the divider.

He looked back at her with a quirked eyebrow. "Are you certain? I really don't mind if you want me to do it."

"I'm certain. I... I rather you just be yourself." She swallowed back her tears as she said it. She had been quite foolish, quite stupid for believing such a thing as what Viggo wore would matter to her father. That clothes and decorations would somehow make her father approve of her when it hadn't ever before. She wondered if it even was possible for her to earn his approval.

Viggo stood frozen for a moment before moving to where Saga sat. He reached his hands out to her, made her stand. Sitting down on the chair she had occupied, he pulled her to sit in his lap. And Saga followed. She curled up in his embrace. Let him swallow her whole and wished to remain as such until her father was far away from her. To remain being held together by a man she relied on as if he was the one who was her father.

"You don't have to change clothes either, you know," he whispered to her. "It is better if you are yourself."

But she shook her head. "I want to. It would be a waste of the dress if I don't."

"It wouldn't. And even if you don't wear it tonight, you can bring it to the capital. There will certainly be opportunities to wear it there."

Saga straightened herself. "I've not packed! I've not thought about it at all."

Viggo smiled at her and brushed some of her hair back. "Erna can see to it while we eat dinner. She'll know what you need to bring."

"But I should..."

"You've done so much recently, Saga. Please allow others to help you for a bit."

She swallowed. Everything in her screamed she had not done enough, that she had in fact rather been a burden and nothing else lately. But she couldn't contradict the steadiness in Viggo's eyes and voice.

"I really wish I could have given you another kind of birthday. The kind you deserve," Viggo told her next, and pressed his lips to her temple. "Today should have just been joy for you. I'm sorry it hasn't been."

"It's not your fault," Saga murmured while leaning her head back against his shoulder.

"Maybe not. I still wish I could have given you a very different day. But I promise you'll have the kind of birthday you deserve next year. No matter what else is going on, next year we'll celebrate you properly."

She closed her eyes and smiled. She didn't even care if he would stay true to the promise. That he had made it was enough for her. It was the most care anyone had shown her for so long. Since her mother had died.

With a stabbing pain, Saga realised she had not thought of her mother even once that day. It had been thirteen years now. Thirteen years since the only one who had cared for Saga before she came to Sinkbek had died. And Saga hadn't spared her mother a single thought, too preoccupied by her father's presence.

And also, maybe, she thought, because the loss of her mother didn't weigh as heavy as it used to. Because Saga wasn't alone anymore. She had others who cared. Others who filled the empty space her mother had left in her. Others who made her feel loved.

The thought was tainted by guilt, by fear. By that she did not deserve their love.

"We have a bit of time before dinner," Viggo said next. "Is there anything you want us to do? Some way you want us to celebrate you?"

But she found it hard to hold onto those negative emotions with Viggo's grounding presence around her.

"No. This is enough," she answered.

"Alright." He pressed another kiss to her head before they simply sat in comfortable silence.