The Previous Night

In the middle of a wide-open space, full of lush greenery, Joseph found himself looking for a little fellow.

"Caesar, where are you, ya little stinker?" Joseph called calmly, cupping his hands around his mouth. Laughing he said, "You can't hide forever."

A faint giggle reached his ears. He turned to where the sound originated from, which was behind one of the countless Lodgepole pine trees. Blades of grass crunched under his shoes as he took long strides toward the tree; yet, when he came too close, five-year-old Caesar took off and ran away laughing wildly. A smile reached Joseph's ears as he dashed after him, which made little Caesar scream giddily. Excitement coursed through Caesar's veins.

As Joseph chased him, a thick, misty fog came out of nowhere and made him lose sight of his child. His initial response was to worry, but he kept his composure and followed the sound of Caesar's heart-melting laughter. But soon there was no giggle, not even a peep. Only silence. Joseph was calling the boy when an ear-piercing cry echoed through the meadow.

"Papa! Papa, help me."

He jerked his head to the side and ran as fast as his trembling legs could take him. Joseph went on pure instinct and didn't care that he ran blind. When Caesar cried out again, Joseph was sure of his location and bolted full speed in that direction. He kept running, but at one point there wasn't any more ground, and he fell like an anvil from the sky onto a clear, desert-like place.

He picked himself from the sandy ground, but it was there he found Caesar impaled on a huge cactus. Hundreds of foot-long needles had pierced him and were streaked with his blood. The man stood there horrified at the sight at the unimaginable sight.

"Papa... what took you so long?"

"Caesar!" he shrieked, limping to him. "Don't worry. I'll get you outta this."

But when he tried to grab him, the cactus grew taller and Caesar was now out of his reach. Having no other option, Joseph braved the odd plant and climbed. The needles scraped his legs and pierced his hands, but he was so close to getting Caesar that he didn't care.

"Papa..."

"Don't worry. I've almost got ya."

When the tips of Joseph's fingers grazed the fabric of Caesar's jeans, the thicker needles holding Joseph's weight snapped. He fell to the bloodied ground with a slam.

"Papa... why... aren't you helping me?"

"I'm trying! J-Just hang in there."

"If you didn't run after me this would've never happened. I hate you for doing this to me, Papa."

Peering into Caesar's neutral eyes, Joseph fell to his knees and wept bitterly. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. This is all Papa's fault, but I'll fix it no matter what it takes! Even if I have to get pierced all over, I don't care. I'll free you from the needles of the cactus."

Joseph's eyes snapped open. He sat down in a hurry, throwing his blanket to the side. As he took deep breaths, sweat trickled down his chest and back. Wiping the perspiration from his brow, he cursed aloud in frustration.

"Not again. What's wrong with me?"

Quickly, Joseph reached under his bunk and grabbed his bag. He froze at the sound of ruffling blankets. Gently feeling around for a bottle of water, he internally scolded himself to be quieter, not wishing for anyone else's sleep to be disturbed.

After he had finished the whole thing, he lay on his side and tried to get some more sleep. Joseph tossed and turned, sighed and groaned, but all he saw when he closed his eyes was the bone-deep hatred that was in Caesar's eyes. He couldn't remember much of anything from his dream except those big, angry eyes and bitter words. It tore him to pieces.

It's all my fault.

Giving up on sleep, he trudged over to the bathroom; the lights blinded him, resulting in a throaty grumble. The transition from dark to light always took him for a loop, but he quickly adjusted to the brightness and went over to one of the six sinks. Joseph stared quizzically at his tired, red eyes and the deepened creases on his forehead. Rubbing the sharp stubble on his face and under his neck, he sighed. It's been a few days since he last shaved.

How did I end up here? This job plus my prematurely graying hair is really starting to make me look old.

Crouching, his knees cracked as he opened the cabinets. Joseph pushed aside unnecessary items then grabbed an untouched razor, a bottle of shaving cream, and a rag. He was thankful that masculine hygiene products were provided for on a regular basis.

Cupping his hands under the faucet, the water turned on, and he splashed the icy liquid onto his face. After wiping his skin dry, he applied the shaving cream and held the razor taut, ready to make the first stroke.

The door to the bathroom opened. He stopped what he was doing and glanced to the side to see who came in. When he saw the familiar face, he went back to what he was doing.

"What in the world are you doing?" David asked, rubbing his squinted eyes.

"What does it look like? I'm shaving this darn thing before I turn into a werewolf. I heard the full moon's coming out tomorrow."

Stretching, David yawned. "But... it's three in the morning. Couldn't this wait til later?"

"You don't have to tell me the time. I know it's early," he said calmly as he cleared one side of his face with much care. "It's just a little insomnia, but that's fine. My internal sleep clock will go back to normal just as soon as I'm done with this."

"It's just not every day you see a guy shaving at three A.M."

Rinsing off the razor, Joseph sighed before bringing it to his other cheek.

"When did you die and become my mother?"

David grinned. "C'mon, just concerned for you. What you're doing here appears... impulsive." He walked over to a urinal.

Joseph stood paralyzed for five seconds and absorbed David's words. "Alright," he said. "You caught me. I had another nightmare. That's why... I couldn't go back to sleep."

"Again? This has to be the third night in a row."

"Don't talk to me while you're taking a piss."

"Hey, I was only thinking out loud."

Zipping his pants, David flushed then went over to the sink next to Joseph and washed his hands.

Pulling the skin on his neck down, he shaved upward to get the stubborn hairs under his chin. "But yeah," Joseph said quietly, "bad dreams have been haunting me lately... and they always involve Caesar in some way. It's like my subconscious is reminding me of how crappy of a person I am."

"Do you think these dreams stem from you and Caesar being separated? I mean, it was like that for me when I was new." David threw his crumpled paper towel in the trash

"Not entirely, but it's part of it, at least. What's really got me rattled was how brutal his punishment was. They treated him like he was some... rabid animal. To think that he also has to go through painful and exhausting training sessions every day really drives me insane. He probably hates me by now for leaving him."

"Guilt is eating you alive because you feel as if you've abandoned him."

"Is it so obvious?"

"It's just that the Second Stage is always the worst part for newbies. But trust me, as the days go on the hole in your heart will heal and then you'll start to realize what you're actually doing."

"Which is?" Joseph prodded as he finished getting the hairs under his nose and bottom lip.

"That by raising these amazing AHs many people can benefit from their powers. Do you think I and the others do this because we like seeing them in pain? No. We do this because it will result in the betterment of others."

Irked, Joseph dampened the rag with water. "But what about the AH's betterment, their comfort, their issues? Why do they get the short stick when we're the same... except that they have a few quirks? Does that not matter anymore because of how they were... brought into being? It's freaky, I understand that, but that doesn't make them less human than us." He wiped the white residue that was on his face.

David crossed his arms and leaned against the counter. He thought carefully of what to say. "If I were you and saw what you had seen that day, I don't know how I'd sleep peacefully either. You're not the only one mourning. I miss my AH too. Micaiah was a good kid, but what gives me peace is accepting that there's nothing we're able to do about it."

"C'mon. Are you trying to comfort me or make me feel more depressed?"

A small smile graced David's lips. "I'm sorry. Just tryna be honest." When Joseph stayed silent, David continued in a sympathetic tone. "Think of it like this: at the end of the day, they were never ours in the first place. They belong to LGA."

He scoffed bitterly. "Life Giving Aid, what an ironic title; and how could you say that when they share our genetic code? How can you say that when they're basically our..."

"Don't say it, Joseph." His stare was pointed, sharper than the claws of a lion.

Irritated, Joseph clicked his tongue. "Why? Is it because you know deep down that it's true? I saw Micaiah. He has your hair, your eyes." He strained very hard to keep his voice down.

David crinkled his face. "What I know deep down is that you're being run by your feelings and haven't had a chance to consider the facts."

"The only fact is that they're our kids, David. Stop giving yourself lame excuses."

"Stop," he said quietly. He gazed downward, his eyes were sullen and gave away his shame.

"Or what? You'll start thinking like a decent human being?" When he didn't answer, Joseph took a breath and continued. "Listen, I've been thinking about this for a couple of days: what if there's something we could do to help our AHs, free them even?"

David stepped back half a foot, dumbfounded by his bold words. "Careful Joseph. If the scientists know you have this type of thinking, you'll be in major trouble."

"They can kiss my behind. I don't care what they think."

Taking a deep breath, David tried to put himself in Joseph's shoes. "I understand where you're coming from; honestly, I do, but let's be logical for a second. You knew what was in store for this job. You came to every meeting and signed all the papers. Why are you now renouncing these things?"

"Because I didn't think Caesar would've been so real to me," he said. "During those meetings, they talked about AHs as if they were these lifeless dolls without any personality, wants, or dreams. But those halfwits were wrong. They can feel, have desires, and love. They're just like us."

"That still doesn't change reality."

"Who cares about reality when it means saving people?"

"You say you wanna free your AH, but how? You got no plan, no outside alibi that'll be willing to help you, and no gun or any sort of weapon. All you've got is a darn razor. How do you think we can overpower the scientists when they have the force of an army? We'd be arrested, worse killed before we could even raise the issue.

"They'd write off our deaths as being a freak accident and no one would question them. People don't know what really goes on here. LGA advertisements are broadcasted on large billboards everywhere and on tv commercials. These people have a truckload of ignorant supporters that'll stand by them through thick and thin. But what do we got besides the clothes and food they give to us?"

"Is there really... nothing we can do?" Joseph said after a long moment.

"You'll go mad before ever figuring out a way to free them from the chains of the scientists. For your own good, it's best to just go along with it. You'll get used to the things around here."

Joseph, fed up with David's dreary words, roughly slapped on aftershave. "How much longer do I have to stay in this hellhole? I can't stand to be here if I can't do anything for my..." Pausing, he recollected his thoughts. After a long sigh, he said, "I just wanna get outta here and forget that any of this crap ever happened."

"You already know that we can't leave unless our AHs make it to the Third Stage, or if they die." Joseph tensed. "Sorry, but that's how things work around here."

For a minute Joseph thought of taking David's advice, that nothing could be done about Caesar; but then he thought back to the time he first saw Caesar.

On the third of January, around seven in the evening, Joseph was called into one of the bathroom stalls. The nurses had pushed Caesar inside via a gurney. The moment his eyes fell on Caesar, he was repulsed. He was filthy, covered with muck from the afterbirth and smelled like menstrual blood. The odor was so strong that he had twisted his neck around, covering his nose and mouth to keep himself from vomiting.

One of the nurses unwrapped him from the aluminum blanket while the other scooped him up and gently placed him into the bathtub. After setting aside fresh clothes for Caesar, the nurses took the bed with them and left.

Joseph went on his knees and briefly rinsed him off before lathering his shivering body. The man was in awe at the boy, but he was sure to check himself often and keep a neutral attitude.

It's an abject—a tool for mankind. There's no need to get attached.

Caesar, not having the strength to hold himself up yet, leaned against the edge of the tub limply for support. Caesar was quiet and docile throughout the process, the warm suds on his skin gave him pleasure. He closed his eyes, content.

When Joseph lifted his chin to wash his face, a gasp parted his lips. Those drowsy, green eyes—they were his—an exact replica! He couldn't stop staring at them; and his hair... it reminded him of his own when he was younger, even Caesar's fingers. It was at that moment his neutral mask shattered. It was at that moment he knew he was taking care of his helpless son, not some object.

Back to reality, Joseph stood his ground. "No. I can't give up on the possibility that we can help them. I won't be able to live with myself if I don't do anything." David opened his mouth to respond, but Joseph quickly interjected. "You said it yourself that you do miss Micaiah, don't you?"

The question caught him off guard and made him lose his train of thought. Grumbling, he answered, "Well, yeah, but—"

"Haven't you ever wondered what Micaiah's thinking of you right now? He might believe that you've abandoned him, that you don't care for him anymore. Doesn't that thought just kill you? 'Cause it rips me apart whenever I imagine Caesar thinking that way about me."

David's demeanor flickered for half a second before the furrow between his brows deepened. Shaking his head, he said, "All of that doesn't matter when it comes to LGA. You don't know who you're dealing with. Like I said before, these people can get away with anything they want, and two men petitioning for the release of AHs won't stop them." He shrugged.

"David, come on. Didn't you tell me, not too long ago, that you'd help me, whatever the issue may be. You gave me your word. Right now I need it to be true because I can't do this on my own." When Joseph sensed his hesitance, he pleaded quietly, "Please."

David contemplated for a moment, but eventually held firm to his original belief and shook his head softly. "I'm sorry, but... there's nothing I can do—there's nothing you can do."

When Joseph dolefully lowered his gaze, David awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. He wished he could help his friend, but what was there to do?

"Just try getting some more sleep. It'll clear your head in the morning."

David neared the exit. He was going to leave without saying anything more, but he had an urge to let Joseph know he wasn't alone in his feelings.

He'd desired for Micaiah and all his previous AHs to know what freedom was like, that's why he always broke the rules during the First stage and showed them real images of what was on the outside. He mostly stuck to things like vehicles and interesting facts about how they work. As for other details such as the sky and people on the outside, Micaiah was the first of his AHs to hear this from him; the boy was never satisfied and always wanted to learn more, so David would sometimes give in to his shameless persistence.

David was a trusted caretaker, so no one had him under their suspicious eye as he did these things. If he were honest, all this talk of AHs being their children really got him all torn up inside. Wasn't a good father supposed to protect and fight for his flesh and blood, no matter the cost? So why wasn't he fighting?

His hand rested on the door. "Trust me, I really do care for Micaiah and want him to live a good life; but when you've worked for LGA as long as me, you start to realize things. Also, don't try to spring this bright idea of yours to Michael. I don't know how he'd respond to it." When Joseph didn't respond, David lowered his gaze, sighing softly. "Goodnight."

Although Joseph hated David's answer, he couldn't blame him. He probably would've listened to him if he wasn't so stubborn. His mulishness made him stupid. Yet, wasn't it stupidly stubborn people like Thomas Edison and Louis Pasteur who ended up changing the world?

Joseph made up his mind that he would execute this so-called rescue operation on his own. Now, the question was how? He couldn't break into the area of the Second stage. He remembered which door belonged to Caesar, but he'd be caught well before he could even glance at it.

Cameras and security guards were everywhere, and Joseph wasn't exactly someone the scientists truly trusted. He damaged the trust he had with them, first, by lying and then showing himself more attached to his AH than the others were. Therefore, it would be natural for them to keep a sharper eye on him. Joseph would ask to see Caesar but he already knew his request would be refused. Even if he were able to, their interaction together would be heavily monitored, making it impossible to spark any type of illegal ideas of escape into Caesar's mind.

He thought of waiting the whole thing out, and when he'd finally be released, he'd expose LGA for the evil industry they truly were. Smiling, he was confident of that idea, but in the next moment, his stomach soured. In their desperate attempt to maintain their integrity, they'd most likely slaughter all the AHs like cows and cover up anything related to them in order to hide their sins. Next, they'd probably hire a professional hitman to assassinate him and make it appear like a tragic suicide.

Frustrated, he angrily ran his hands through his greasy hair.

C'mon, think! How else can I help him?

When nothing came to mind, he slumped to the ground with his back against the cabinet. I guess there's really nothing I can do. Caesar... he's just gonna have to hang in there. He groaned. The things I would give for a good book to get my mind off this crap.

He fantasized about entering the library and checking out a 500-paged murder mystery. Those types of books really took him out of reality, and allowed him to forget his troubles in the real world. But suddenly he gasped, his eyes brightening.

Ah, the library!

That was the only area the caretakers and AHs shared. However, they'd never meet with each other, since the scientists were careful to make sure that they each went in at a specific time.

Once an AH was trusted enough, he'd be allowed to go right after their schooling on one of their rest days. For the caretakers, their time to go would be later in the afternoon. All the AHs would be in their rooms by then.

Instantly, Joseph thought of placing some kind of encrypted note inside one of the books to get a message over to him. Back in college, he and a few of his friends always sent each other secret messages; they always got a kick out of finding the meaning. He never knew that experience would be of use to him years later.

But how will he find a note he doesn't know he's looking for? Now that I think of it, it's literally a needle in a haystack. Besides, after what happened with him I don't know if he'll even be trusted enough to go in the library any time soon.

He was at a loss again. But he quickly realized something: he often read books when he was around Caesar. One in particular was called "Lucy's Trails" by the author named Garret Dunn. Joseph read that book twice. With a girl's bloody, pink boot caught in between the tracks of a train and tiny footsteps leading away from the scene, it made for a memorable cover. The eeriness of the picture had caught Caesar's attention. He even asked about it one time.

While caretakers were allowed to roam around freely in the library, AHs were only allowed to explore one-fourth of the area; and in that perimeter would be books that LGA had written up for them. They didn't have any real books to read except if they were for children aged five and under. Only if they reached the Third Stage would they be allowed to read stories written by real authors, because then they'd have to know what real life was like.

Joseph finally got it. He was going to pick out Garret Dunn's book again, then after he'd roamed around for a while, he'd go into the AH's section. With the encrypted note inside, he'd slip the book behind the others, making sure to face it forward. He just prayed to God that Caesar would recognize the cover and pick it up. He also hoped that if Caesar did in fact find the book, he'd be able to crack the code.

Since Joseph visited the library so often, the ones working there knew well enough that he caused no trouble there, so he was sure he wouldn't look suspicious.

Nervously shaking his leg, Joseph knew this was a gamble. Things could go terribly wrong, but he had to try. He owed at least that much to Caesar. It was a devious plan, but he had to do it, he didn't care about the cost.

__________

Did you guys enjoy the chapter? Let me know!:)

What do you guys think about David's internal conflict? Can you blame him for thinking the way that he does?

Are you on Joseph or David's side?

Anyway have a great day!