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Ch.29 | Hate

Kara thought the mournful cries would never end.

At first, she thought her baby was the only one that was taken, but when the wails of the other women, in the nearby rooms, reached her ears Kara knew that she wasn't alone. Tears made a sheen glaze over her eyes. She was deeply grieved at the thought of so many expectant mothers suffering similar to her; yet, at the same time she was also relieved. Kara knew it was selfish, but knowing that she wasn't the only one going through hell gave her comfort.

The Suited men used the female AHs as a means to be surrogate mothers for human babies. Wealthy individuals, especially movie stars or models kept coming by because they themselves didn't want to risk going through pregnancy and ruin their flat, hourglass figures. But then there were the common mid-class citizens who came, some for the same reason but most of the time because the women were dealing with infertility.

Similar to the male enclosure, a lot of euthanizations occurred—there was no time to waste. After an AH was deemed healthy and had gone through her second menses at two months old, the Suited men would implant a fertilized egg into the female without her knowledge—they'd put her to sleep before the operation, and then they'd place her back in her room before she ever woke up. To her, the experience was like a dream.

The days following the birth, the AHs were given several rounds of psychotherapy with qualified psychologists. They tried to help them deal with their loss, yet if an AH was especially difficult, they'd sternly warn her that her defiance would only get her killed.

The AHs were warned with these colored wristbands: green, orange, and red. When they got to red there was no turning back; LGA and it's workers had no time for rebellious behavior. Therefore, because of Kara's shameful behavior, she was given a green one and then was told firmly to behave herself, lest she reap the consequences.

After a week of intensive therapy, Kara was finally escorted back to her room. She thought she'd have some sort of relief from not being around the nurses and doctors all the time. But the pain never went away. Her stomach was still flat—void of the child she once thought was hers.

When the time for breakfast came, or class, she was with those who also recently had their children taken from them. So, most of the time the atmosphere was glum and depressing. There was no color in anyone's personality, nothing but gray. When would the torcher end?

During the times Kara was out, she wanted to speak to Hannah to vent out everything, but it felt like forever since she had last seen her, and she missed her dearly. One time, she asked if she could talk to her, but they spoke against it, not allowing postpartum AHs to hang out those who were still pregnant. Only after Hannah had given birth would she be able to talk to her. Kara became so angry, her face was as red as her hair. But there was nothing she could do about it.

It was three weeks later. Kara lay on her unkempt bed in a depressed slum. She buried her face in a pillow and wept. She didn't bother to keep up with her work. She had no motivation to even get up and fix herself up for the morning.

Suddenly, there was a low ring followed by the meal duct opening. She already knew what the combination meant. She stood before the Suited man could say anything because she hated being told what to do by such cruel people. Kara went on her knees before the meal duct and took the breast pump into her hands.

"Good girl, Kara!" Pride beamed in the man's voice. "The past week I've noticed you becoming more tamed. If you keep this attitude up, then you'll surely forget all about all the events that happened during the past few weeks."

Forget? Does he really believe it's that simple?

Kara set the pump to the side, flared her nostrils and said, "You know what? I can't do this anymore."

"What do you mean you can't do this anymore?" His tone wasn't so bright anymore.

"It hurts and it always reminds me of my... of the child I gave birth to. I'm sorry but I can't."

"That doesn't matter whether you can or can't. You will fill the container to the line that has been marked."

Furrowing her brows, she glared at the ceiling. "Pump yourself if you want some so bad. I'm sure you'll get some if you pump hard enough."

The man was tempted to punish her with a whipping for having a loose tongue, but he had something in mind that was far better than a physical punishment.

Kara was getting ready to stand when her ears picked up the most beautiful sound. A cry—her baby's cry. She recognized it in an instant. With her eyes wide and glassy, she covered her mouth, absolutely taken aback. Kara was baffled that anyone could be so cold-blooded.

"You wanna get smart with me? Fine. I'll let this recording run until you've finished. I suggest you finish quickly. Oh, and you have a mess on your shirt."

With her palm, Kara felt moisture in front of her breasts. Two large streams of dampness reached all the way down to the bottom of her shirt. The recording stimulated her milk production and the sight made her weep. She couldn't hold it in.

Inwardly, she pleaded for the cry to be shut off. She couldn't take it anymore, but she didn't bother asking. Taking ahold of the breast milk device, she began using it. She had no other choice, they had her wrapped around their dirty fingers.

With each pump, fury flowed through her veins and made her shake. "I hate you," she muttered shakily. "With total hatred, I hate you."

Once she was done, she placed the container and the pump in the meal duct. She stood with a slouch in her back and trudged over to the bathroom to clean up. She immediately began splashing water in her face, washing away the dry tears and boogers. She slowly looked up at the mirror, but then her eyes widened and jaw went slack. Backing away, afraid, she realized her reflection wasn't there.

"No," she whispered. "That's not... possible."

Her back hit the door. Breathing heavily, Kara snapped her eyes shut then vigorously shook her head. She looked at the mirror again and there she was. Drops of water dripped from her chin and her eyes usually filled with joy overflowed with terror.

She stepped closer to the mirror, but with each few steps her body disappeared and then it would come back—it was like light flickering. Her hands trembled as she felt around her body to make sure she was real. Maybe she was dreaming?

But she wasn't.

After a while, she stopped going invisible. Despite this, Kara's mind was spinning with questions.

What in the world just happened?

~§~§~§~

Three and a half months passed. Kara was carrying her breakfast tray to a table when she saw Hannah eating by herself nearby. She gasped and couldn't believe it was actually her. It had been so long. Kara swiftly walked in her direction. When she got close, she realized Hannah's belly was flat, and the realization broke her heart.

"Hannah!"

Turning around, Hannah saw her and immediately sad-smiled. Kara set her tray next to hers then they embraced. She didn't mean to but she sobbed, dampening the front of Hannah's shirt.

"I'm glad to see you again." Tears streamed down her cheeks. "Aw man. Look at what you've done. You made me start crying."

Kara pulled away and wiped her right eye. "I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. When it was me I was a wreck. I still am! I wish I could've been there for you. Because I know how much I needed someone."

"Don't trouble yourself with things you had no control over. It's alright and it wasn't your fault. Anyway, I... kinda already knew what was gonna happen."

"What do you mean? How could you know?"

"You know the first child I lost?"

"From the miscarriage?"

Hannah looked away and confessed in a low voice, "I didn't have a miscarriage."

Sniffling, Kara said, "What? Speak louder, I-I couldn't hear you."

Turning to Kara, Hannah's eyes held an expression like broken glass. She tried to speak but no words came out, not before tears rolled down her cheeks.

"I never had a miscarriage. They took... my baby away from me, too—the first one."

Stunned, Kara's lips parted slightly. She rubbed Hannah's arm. "Oh, Hannah. Why didn't you just tell me?"

"I wanted to, but they told me not to say anything to anyone, or else."

"How cruel."

"One day they were looking at an ultrasound when they said... that there was something wrong with it. Without asking what I thought about the situation, they just... went ahead and told me that they were doing a procedure that would ultimately end my child's life.

"They promised me another baby but... I didn't know what that meant. How could I get pregnant again? But it wasn't til the second time—" Hannah gripped her left forearm tightly. "Nevermind. It's not important."

Kara pondered on that question as well. Was this even real—the whole baby and pregnancy thing. If it was, then why did doctor Reeves tell her that her child wasn't hers? Did she not carry it for nine months in her belly? Hadn't she gone through those agonizing hours of labor? Wasn't she the one to have given birth to it? So, why?

"What di'ja do when they told you that?"

"I went wild. I didn't care if my child would look or be different from other kids. The baby had as much right to live as anyone else. They had no right to make such a decision."

"Exactly. Did you tell them that? I hope you did."

"Not... exactly. I just briefly let them know of my disapproval. But in response, they said it wasn't fully developed yet as if that was some clever excuse. It's selfish to just throw away life like dirty clothes. It's not right! A life is a life no matter how small."

"Di'ja try to convince them to let you keep it?"

"Of course! I was cautious at first, but when it was obvious their decision wasn't gonna change, I jumped up and bolted to the door. They caught me in a matter of seconds, though. I know that was stupid, but what else was I supposed to do?

"There was just this overwhelming urge to protect the child still in my womb—nothing else mattered—but it was to no avail. They forced me down and knocked me out with a sedative. When I woke up, I was no longer pregnant, just... sore."

"I can't imagine what that was like." Kara took a napkin and padded Hannah's loose tears.

"After that, they gave me this green wristband." Hannah held up her arm. "Said it was a warning. I see ya got one, too."

"Yeah. They said to have a better attitude next time as if it's possible."

"Just promise that you won't do anything stupid. I know you can be a spit-fire sometimes."

"Only when I needa be."

"Kara," she whined.

She hesitated but eventually said, "Of course, I promise."

Smiling, Hannah stirred her syrup flavored oatmeal and began eating and so did Kara. She was starving.

As Kara ate her bagel, she pondered on her reoccurring ability to disappear. After a few minutes, she said, "Hey have you... noticed anything weird happen to you?"

"Weird how?" She cocked a brow.

"I don't know how to explain this, but every now and then when I'm sad I go invisible. Sometimes if I try hard enough I can make myself disappear. It's freaky and when I do it too long I become nauseous."

Hannah's eyes brightened. "Your Fore-Light developed."

"Fore-Light?"

"You don't know? Don't you remember the lesson they taught us? We were two months old when they told us, I think."

"If they taught us when we were so young I must've zoned out. I hate boring lectures."

"Mine is that I can conjure light from my palms. Also, whatever I touch will brighten but for only a few minutes. It works better in the dark, though. And I'm glad I don't get nauseous like you, I just get sleepy."

Kara felt relieved. Even though she absolutely despised the Suited men, she was willing to go to them for answers, but now she didn't need to.

"That's so cool. I bet you look like a gleaming star!"

Hannah giggled in her hands. "Being a year old now, I hope you have a longer attention span. Otherwise, I'm dreading your future."

Kara smiled. "I hope so, too. They also said I have another age which is 18. Can you explain that?"

"Same here; but don't worry, they always tell us strange stuff. You just have to go along with it."

They continued talking about whatever was on their minds, just enjoying each other's company. People would call them the best of friends, but to them they were sisters.

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