The sound of the front door opening was heard from where I sat at the kitchen island waiting for Aaron. Here goes nothing, I sighed before glancing up at him as he strolled into the kitchen with takeaway bags.

"Sorry I took so long." He kissed my temple and placed the bags of food on the table. "Turns out Liam stopped here. I forgot to tell him we were meeting at his place. Imagine." He shook his head. "I drove all the way to his place in the traffic for nothing."

I was speechless. Either he had thought this all out or I was being paranoid for no reason. Now I couldn't go about accusing him of lying without seeming insecure? There was no doubt that I'd seem crazy bringing up what Liam told me this afternoon about him and Phoebe.

"Is everything alright? You look upset." He questioned. "I hope it's not because I got takeouts. I know how much you love to see me cook."

"I'm fine, I've just got a lot on my mind."

"Maybe I can help," he smirked suggestively and I couldn't believe it but I shook my head.

"I'm sort of hungry."

"How about we eat and then I'll help take your mind off whatever's bothering you."

•••

"See," Aaron whispered into my ear.

I stood in front of the glass window with the view of the city, his chest pushed against my back. We were both naked. A trail of clothes ran from the kitchen to where we now stood. My breasts were pressed against the cool glass, making the nipples stiffen as the cold weather bit at them.

His right hand slid up along the inside of my thigh, his fingers sweeping along my skin on its journey to my centre. I inhaled sharply when his fingers pressed against the slick lips of my core. He slid the end of his middle finger along the crease they formed, and made me chew on my lower lip as I stared out into the city.

"Can you see it?" he asked lowly.

I had forgotten that I was meant to be looking for the Shard. He had told me that it was visible from our flat, and I had scoffed.

"No," I said.

"Now you're just being silly," he said and slid his left hand from my shoulder to my hair, and steered my face in the right direction.

To be rather honest, I didn't understand why it had become such a big deal between us. The Shard was visible from many places in the city, it's rather large and tall. That's pretty much the point of it. This had to be an excuse to get me pressed against the glass door like I was.

"Well, what do you know," I said, unimpressed. "I see it."

Lights had been installed at the top of the building that illuminated the tower at night. From the distance we were at, the top glowed yellow from where we stood making it look like a beak of a rather strange bird.

"It's pretty cool, isn't it?" He asked but all I could focus on was his middle finger parting my nether lips and massaged me, prompting my back to arch and his cock to slid along the crack of my arse. He kept his hold on my hair and my forehead pressed against the cool glass. I could see cars turning the corner, but we were so high up they seemed tiny.

Aaron's fingertip dipped into me and spread the wetness he found within along slit. He stroked my clit with his thumb and I rolled back against his cock. As my arousal grew I became more nervous of where we were standing.

"Why don't we go to bed?" I suggested. My voice was low, breathless.

"C'mon don't you enjoy the view?" He asked, his voice deep with excitement.

"Aaron..." I complained, looking out at the city below us. We weren't quite in town, but we were close enough that the sprawl of lights from a million people occupying the same concrete space was open to our inspection. So many people, if they were to look in our direction, at the non-descript building Aaron lived in, and to the unilluminated window up the right number of levels...

"Aaron..." I repeated, a bit more firmly. I tried to step away but he pushed his hips against me. I was trapped between him and the glass window while he continued his circling at my entrance with his hands.

"Aaron..." I tried one last time as his fingers slid into me. His eager touch felt promising for about a few seconds before he settled into his usual measured routine. That was all he ever did since I showed him how I liked to be pleasured. There was no use throwing him off his rhythm either. It seemed too much for him to handle. The more sex we had, the more sexually incompatible I realised we were.

Sex with Harry was such an eye opening, game changing experience for me. I found joy in how open we were with each other. During our sexual sessions there were no facades, or thickly layered brick walls placed between us, we were just naked, joining our bodies together. Even when fully clothed, just the touch of his fingers against my body left me feeling completely bare and exposed.

Maybe Natasha was right when she told me I thought too much during the sex to enjoy it properly.

The difference was, Harry stopped that flow of thought; that ever present, almost overwhelming internal dialogue that was always with me.

When I was with Harry it was only about how I felt, it was only about what my body did in response to his and what his did in response to mine. It was about acting and being acted upon. So, when I pushed on his chest and he rolled over to let me on top of him, I was not thinking. When I moved my hips and tensed my legs to rise up from his lap, I wasn't considering how I looked to him with my hair cascading wildly. When I lowered myself I was not worrying about the size of my breasts or the flushed, sweaty state of my face...Maybe I should just stop thinking.

Once I reprimanded myself, Aaron slid another finger inside of me and my thighs tensed against his arm. He was trying to get me off and was going by the most direct route he knew. He withdrew his finger for a moment and pumped them back into me. As nice as his ministrations felt, they weren't going to make me come. This was going to take a while.

•••

Out of nowhere it just hit me, it hit me like a ton of bricks and at 3am it left me wide awake and unable to sleep. There was an awful lot on my mind.

I looked over to Aaron who laid on his back with his arms stretched out like a toddler sleeping soundly. I listened to the sound of the rain falling and brushing up against the building, showering outside the window, hoping it would ease my mind and soothe my racing thoughts but it was doing the exact opposite in fact.

Stress built within me, my stomach turning as I thought long and hard about Aaron and Phoebe. The ring hadn't been for me. That much seemed certain.

A lot of things were adding up now. All the times he'd pushed me aside to be of aid to her. How I felt threatened by her presence. The unsettling little moments they both seemed to share. The lies. I knew for fact that 'just friends' was no longer an appropriate term to describe their relationship. The same way it had been for Harry and I.

It was so clear that although I ended things with Harry, they were far from over. I wasn't sure of when or how it happened but a shift had taken place and it was clear that I had unresolved feelings concerning Harry.

I shouldn't feel the way I did but I couldn't help it. It wasn't fair, not to Aaron and definitely not to Harry. I'd expected the novelty of what Harry and I had to wear off quickly but it hadn't. In part it was because, despite my misgivings, Harry had been right about our suitability for the arrangement. It worked for what it was intended for, and what it was intended for left me deeply sexually satisfied.

But then there were those moments of affection, those times where he was playful or adoring, those flashes of what could be. Perhaps I had a crush on that 'other' part of him. The physical aspect was forever physical, but the romantic part of him remained below the surface.

There was a third part of Harry as well. One that I ignored at the time because it didn't match what I felt for him. The sad, emotionally distant Harry that made his smiles and his jokes seem perfunctory at times. It was all him, of course, I was just experiencing different sides of the same person.

Exhaling and shutting my eyes, I finally came to terms with the consequences of my actions. I wasn't allowed to feel this way especially since I'd moved about all of my belongings to Aaron's flat and left Harry behind. There wasn't even enough time between now and then for me to want all parts of him. Summer would soon be coming to an end and this, whatever this was, whatever I felt for Harry would soon be over.