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Jack: Sunday, 17 December
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A/N: I received a request to say that there is a semi-triggering scene in this chapter and I think whatever I do to make people feel more comfortable is something I should do as long as it doesn't effect the plot. So I'm going to tell you there is a car accident in this chapter so please read with the upmost caution.

The slow and steady beat of a heart like drums. I miss the drums. The bass that kept rhythm in my life disappeared when I had lost all sense of control. When I became nothing but a flirtatious loner. My sour attitude made others desire me, and my regretful decision to go along with Emily's plans made me a badass who someone wanted to be seen with.

But all I could hear was the beep, beep of a constant beat. Never slowing, never speeding up. What I remembered? Little to nothing, at least not about what happened. It all came so quickly and suddenly in a wave of panic, splashes of crimson and shards glistening in the moonlight appeared before my very eyes. These same eyes remain closed at the moment. I didn't feel like waking myself.

There was murmurs that blended with the screams. Whispers of confidentiality. I know when my eyes opened, it would be nothing but hell, was it not better just to sleep until the pain went away?

Comatose; the deep slumber. Also a bomb song by Skillet, but that was about desiring someone so much you would rather never wake up if you couldn't be with them.

Do I feel that way about Mark?

Such a positive impact on my daily life, I missed him even though I had just saw him. He was comforting and gentle. He was always so kind and smart. He was everything I wasn't - he was the man I wanted to be. Would I rather be stuck in eternal sleep than be without him?

I think by taking the risk of hypothermia and frostbite would say yes.

What did I do to deserve him?

Oh that's right, I didn't. He was just selfless enough to come and fetch me from the cold and want to still care for me.

Now I was.. Here? But where is here exactly and what's going on?

I opened my eyes and the lights were not blinding until my eyes wandered exactly to the source in the corner. The overhead lights were off, there was that machine - beep beep beep.

"What the fuck?" I grumbled as I looked around and noticed I was in a hospital bed. I had never been in a hospital before (at least not on this side of the situation), and as a result didn't know what to do at all. Did I wait for a charming nurse or friendly doctor? For my scowling mother to come through the door and yell at me?

A young pretty nurse with brown hair poked her head in. She was short and kind of round, but pretty nonetheless. She smiled at me and walked over to the bed. "Hello, sir."

"Hi." I said with a voice that came out scratchy.

"Can you tell me your name?" She asked immediately.

I was surprised by the question, they didn't know? She must have been able to see the confusion on my face because she explained. "We haven't had anyone to identify you, you didn't carry around any sort of identification either."

"Sean McLoughlin." I told her after a beat. Exactly a beat, I was following the sound of the heart monitor. I then spelt it for her and she nodded before ducking out of the room, I never got the chance to ask another question.

A doctor came in afterwards. She - like the nurse - was pretty and aged. Tall and bony, she flashed a smile. "Good morning, Sean. I'm Doctor Rey." She smiled at me. "We did find you on our records, but I was just going to ask you a few questions."

"Okay."

"How old are you?"

"Seventeen."

"Do you live at home?"

"Yes."

"With both parents?"

"Yes."

"Where do you attend school?"

"OFA."

"Grade?"

"Twelve."

"Gender?"

"Male?"

"Sex?"

"Male, again."

"Do you remember what happened?" Doctor Rey asked me and this is where it took me about six beats to speak.

"There was.. An accident I think." I said. "It was snowy and I was cold and Mark came and got me and we were driving. He asked where he should take me and when I answered something hit us and - oh my god!" I sat up quickly and ignored the pain that shot through my body. The sudden raise in my voice startled the doctor and she was immediately alert. "Where is Mark?!"

"Mr. Fischbach?" She asked me and I nodded quickly. "He's fine, don't strain yourself Sean."

I let out a sigh and leaned back slowly. "Jack. Please don't call me Sean."

"Well, alright." Doctor Rey said before continuing. "You were right about the accident, and despite the car being flipped all sorts of different ways, you managed to come out almost entirely alright. You have cuts and bruises and we had to take a few shards of glass from your arm. Your wrist looks like it could be sprained and it would appear you have whiplash."

"What about Mark?" I asked and I hated the fact that I sounded like a child. She just told me he was alright, wasn't that enough?

"Well, let me see.." She spoke and tapped a pen against her chin as she thought about it. "Uh, broken bones, some gashes that required stitching, there was one other thing too.. Oh no, I'm thinking of the other car."

"Are they alright?" I asked quietly, I hadn't even thought about the other car. "What happened?"

"They're in intensive care." The doctor told me. "We don't know how stable they are. You probably know her, girl that goes to school with you. I wanna say her name was Emily."

"E-Emily..?" I went wide eyed when I heard the name. She nodded and I said nothing else, but instead, I started crying which immediately made the doctor on edge. "Jack, is everything alright?" She asked me. I said nothing in return. "Do you want me to get anything for you? Or get anyone? I'm sure your mother will be here soon."

"I don't want her in here" I sniffled and wiped my snot on my hand. "I wanna be alone."

"Are you sure?" She asked me. There was a long pause in which I said nothing. "Do you want to see Mark?"

"I can?" I asked wide eyed.

"Not right this second, but within a couple of hours, sure." She said. "Like I said, you're mainly bumps and bruises. You might get a little dizzy due to the whiplash though. I'm going to give you some over the counter pain medicines, and we'll see how you feel then. Okay?" I nodded my head. "I'll be back soon."

She left the room and I fiddled with my hands on my lap. I was surprised that a doctor was going to come back, after all, tending to the patients was for the nurses, was it not?

Looking out the window I could still see the darkness outside, looking at the clock it told me it was only four in the morning. Had I only been out for about an hour? When was the sun going to come up?

I dreaded my parents coming here, I was afraid of their reaction to the whole thing. I wasn't really a bad kid in their eyes, but I had already gotten beaten up pretty bad and since I had been so distant since I spent so much time with Mark, were they going to ask.

About twenty minutes later, the doctor walked in and held her hands behind her back so I couldn't see what she was holding. She took out a small cup with two blue pills in them and handed them to me along with a cup of water she held in the same hand.

"I also brought you this." She said and pulled out a small brown stuffed bear. It was.. Cute but I was seventeen, why would she think I wanted this? "My son is twenty-six years old. About a month ago he had a surgery and I brought him a bear as a joke. He really liked it though, I don't think you're ever too old to get a stuffed animal. Might make you feel better."

"T-Thank you." I said quietly.

"Your parents are out front filling out some paperwork. I just chatted with them. They seem like lovely people." She smiled.

"They are."

"And yet you still don't want them in here?" Doctor Rey asked and I shook my head.

I looked down at the bear in my hands and felt myself tearing up again. "They're gonna be so mad at me.."

"Jack they won't be mad. They'll be happy you're alright." The doctor told me. "No one likes getting a phone call and hearing their child was just rushed to E.R. because of a car accident. They really do want to make sure you're okay."

I nodded my head and left it at that, the doctor eventually left and it gave me little time to reflect on what had happened. Emily hit Mark and I, I wonder if she meant to? Mark is hurt and because he came to get me, doesn't that make this my fault? I had to go and be the one to screw everything up, and now I was stuck with my consequences.

This bear did make me feel a little better though.

My parents walked in the room, hugging me and expressing their grief while I kept my eyes down, if I met their eyes I would blurt something out before crying.

"Mum," I looked up to my mother and tried to keep tears from spilling over. She waited patiently for me to say something and she had clearly been crying before hand. "I really messed up."

"Messed up? How? Jack this was an accident." My mother told me, her voice was sweet and relaxing like a gentle autumn breeze, and it made me feel a little better to actually interact with her.

"I don't know, I haven't really talked to either of you. I've been gone so much from home and I know it's only been a few weeks but.. I've learned so much." I sighed and glanced off. "I met this wonderful boy, and he was kind enough to help me with what I wasn't understanding in class. He was so nice to me and I was so crude to him. I made a poor deal with a girl and drove her to the near brink of insanity, I think. And I felt like I lost everything. I wasn't honest to you guys, to him, her, or any of my friends."

"Jack, it's alright." My father spoke, trying to console me. "The doctor told us there was another man in the car with you, that you weren't driving. Are those two the same man?"

"Yeah, his name is Mark." I spoke slowly. In a blurt of a moment I spoke again, and instantly regretted it. "He gave me his all and I love him but I even managed to screw that up."

"You.. Love him?" My mother said slowly. "You're gay, Jack?" I shrugged. "And you never introduced this boy to me! Well I'm offended." She let out a slight laugh and I felt her hand caressing my own. "You'll have to bring him over for dinner."

"I don't think he'll want to." I said with a sad smile. "I really messed everything up, I told you."

"You'll figure it out, Jack. You're a smart boy." My father told me and rubbed my back. "We're just glad to know your safe. If you ever need to talk, you know we can listen and help. We were teenagers too, you know."

"That was like, at least a thousand years ago." I chuckled.

"Two thousand, sweetheart," my mother laughed. "Almost though. I hope you know we're both very serious Jack. And I want to meet your friend Mark, still. I'm very serious about that. You never bring anyone over. How am I supposed to be a soccer mom to a son who doesn't play sports and doesn't let me feed his friends?"

I laughed and shook my head. "Okay, okay. I'll try."

My mother ruffled my hair and stood up, I know that they would be standing by me no matter what, and that in itself was revolutionary. It felt really great considering how much I adored my parents and how little time I spent with them. This was the time to do it, anyways.

~AN

Kinda nice chapter. I don't remember if I ever said that Jack's parents knew he was gay I don't remember this being a topic.

Oh well if it was. I'm writing this from the comfort of my bed and I'm just looking outside at the snow. It's wonderful.

Rinny!