Dedicated to AlwaysLuCi❤❤

Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man. --Colossians 4:6 KJV

Posi was beside herself with rage. The so-called important client just informed her through his P.A that the appointment had been rescheduled.

And not just that. It was done over the phone, when she was already seated at the venue where the meeting was to hold. She had had to adjust her plans for the day after her friends, who she was going to deal with, had dropped an impromptu job in her laps. Now that guy had rescheduled!

"It is not your fault now. I blame my friends," she said speaking to herself after she had ended the phone call. She picked up her bag and sauntered out of the building, all the way making plans on how she will deal with her friends till she got to the Uber she called.

Her demeanour showed that she wasn't interested in any form of small talk and she was glad the Uber driver got the message. She settled into her seat with her eyes closed and tried to calm down. It had been a stressful day for her and she still had things to do. She was jolted out of her rest-like state when the car stopped. She made her payment and alighted from the car, as she made her way to her studio.

"Welcome back, ma. I was just about to close up for the day. I thought you weren't coming back in," Toyin, her receptionist cum secretary asked with a smile on her face. She was tall, at least taller than Posi, with her hair in a full curly weave, which was most likely a wig. She wore a nicely shaped pair of stylish glasses with skinny jeans, a peach-coloured top with puff sleeves on a pair of black sneakers. She was always smiling and laughing which normally got on Posi's nerves at first, but now, she had gotten used to her bubbly personality and tried not to let it get to her. Keyword being 'tried'.

"Something else came up. You can leave, I will close up," Posi replied, not waiting for an answer.

Walking into her office which really was an art room that everyone was banned from except herself. She dropped her bag and sat by the latest painting she had been working on. At first, she had known what she wanted to draw, but as the painting progressed and was coming together, she seemed to lose her vibe. She knew what made her lose that vibe but she didn't even want to think about it.

Sighing, she moved to her swivel chair to sit behind a small desk, which was L-shaped and sort of caged her in since it was against the wall. There was only an opening on the right side. The desk held her Dell laptop and drawing pad, a pen holder which held various types of stationeries, a few sketch books and then a picture of herself with Gerald and Funmilayo on their graduation day.

The trio had been glad to finally graduate after years of learning. Smiling to herself as she remembered the happy days, she felt herself relax for the first time that day.

"Awww, it's so beautiful to see you smile," a voice she recognized as Toyin's said.

Jerking, she placed her hand on her chest and threw a glare in Toyin's direction.

"Ehn ehn, what do you want?"

Unperturbed, Toyin replied with a smile, "I just wanted to tell you that I was leaving. I will see you tomorrow, ma. Good night, ma."

"Good night," Posi murmured.

That girl and her bubbliness! Urrggghhh! She clenched her fingers in exasperation.

But you want that too, don't you? A voice asked.

Nope! Not at all. Being bubbly isn't going to help me.

Opening the lid of her laptop, she searched for the next task she had pushed back for that no-show of a human. Hissing, she began to make plans on how to get back on track, getting lost in her work.

****

Posi hissed when her alarm rang suddenly. She checked the time and saw that it was getting close to 9:00pm. Sighing, she put off the alarm and sank further into her chair. Her day hadn't gone as well as she would have liked.

Urrrggghh! Layo and Gerald are so going to hear it!

But that isn't the only thing, is it? A voice asked.

Yes, that wasn't the only thing.

Rubbing her palm against her forehead, she thought back on her day. While waiting for the so-called important client her friends had told her about, a couple with their daughter who looked about ten years old had walked in. The look of pure joy and love around them made her think back on her own childhood.

Her parents, Engineer and Mrs Faleye, had never shown her that kind of love, or any love for that matter. And it definitely wasn't because they lacked anything. They were comfortable and lived well as her father was into the Oil and Gas sector of the country and her mother worked as a Civil Servant before she resigned. But the affection needed for a young child like her had been missing.

She was five years old when she discovered that her family was different when she saw her maternal aunt and her husband with her own cousins. She had gone to spend one of her school breaks there and her young mind hadn't been able to fathom why her cousins were always squealing in delight when their parents returned from work. Or why her aunt and uncle decided that planting sloppy kisses on her and giving her warm hugs was a show of affection.

She had been baffled and had asked her mother about it when she returned home. That was the day she learnt that looks could kill. And also the day the dam of her mother's verbal punches had broken. All she had wanted to know was why her parents were different with her. But she regretted asking.

It was almost like her question had exposed all the hidden dislike her mother had and also given her father the courage to travel for months on end. Two days turned to two months before she saw him again. When she had asked him where he went, he had been mum about it and just smiled. She had been too young to understand then, and it wasn't until two years later that she knew that her father had another family and was living with them.

During that period, her mother's verbal punches became even more vicious and her self-esteem had begun to crumble. Once, when she was in her late teens, she had asked her mother if she was adopted and she was met with silence.

She had been too scared to ask her again or even make moves to inquire about her birth. Her relationship with her mum suffered and that with her dad was barely there. They had nothing beyond an allowance and the occasional phone call.

However, recently her mother had been calling her and sending her messages that she'd like to see her. Posi's heart was imprisoned by fear to open her heart to whatever ill word her mother had to say to her.

Her self-esteem had taken years of beating and bashing and she had needed equal number of years to build a fort so strong that nothing could penetrate.

Fort Posi. It was stronger than the Great Wall of China. She had built it with her blood, sweat and tears. She was older and wiser, and no one was going to have that kind of power to trample on her again. Not anymore. Not with the strength she had used to defend herself over the years. And definitely no one was worth the tears. Her tears.

Sighing as she heard her ringtone Titanium by Sia and David Guetta play, she knew her mum was calling again.

I am titanium. It was a special ringtone for her mum. More like a warning alarm plus war cry, albeit a silent war cry.

She wasn't ready for whatever tongue lashing her mother had for her. She didn't have the energy to go through the wringer, not now.

There's no such thing as unconditional love. Everyone wants something back.

But that family–

People pretend a lot. Don't you remember how your mum and dad pretended about being a picture perfect family? Or how Theophilus had promised you heaven and earth? Look at how that turned out.

Theophilus. That was another story for another day. She didn't even think she wanted to entertain thoughts of him in her mind. He was high up on her list of things not worth it.

Posi wanted love but not at the cost of pulling down her fort. Her heart yearned for something real and strong and unconditional. The only problem was that she wasn't ready to let anyone in. Or even let herself out.

With that on her mind, she packed up for the day and left for her house.

Good riddance.

"My Matchless King, please let Your love engulf my daughter. Let Your angels keep watch over her. I speak healing to her wounds. The wounds from myself. Wounds from her father. Wounds from the evil in this world. Please, touch her and let her know what love is. Let her see Who love is...," Mrs Faleye prayed as she dissolved in tears, gripping her mobile phone in her hands.

Her daughter had refused to answer her phone call. Again. She was left with no choice but to do what she could do— pray. And pray, she did.

**********************************

There are so many people wounded in the world and God's love is the first true healing balm. God's love seen and displayed through His people. Even Christians are hurting, sometimes wounded by a fellow Christian. If we could all just come to the truth that God's love is as pure as it is healing, is as kind as it is forgiving, is as said as it  is shown, then we'd be alright. Say a prayer for someone hurting, speak graceful and kind words, and edify with the words of your mouths. God bless you.

Love and Light. ❤☀