~ Chapter One ~

August 10th, 8:04 PM

Ed shuffled around his bedroom, his pajama bottoms flowing out behind him. He paid no attention to the constant beeping of his phone that rested on his make shift desk. It had been twelve hours since the official statement went out that Samantha Jensen had passed away due to heart problems and it had been twelve hours of pure torture for Ed. So the ginger groaned for the tenth time, collapsing backwards onto his bed. 

8:10 PM

"A storm is making it's way through-"

Click.

"That shirt does not go with those pants.. Definitely a What Not To Wear!"

Click.

"Totally rad dude, those waves were-"

Click.

Ed shut off the TV in annoyance, the room suddenly enveloped in silence. Ed chewed on his thumbnail, unsure of what to do. Everything seemed so boring, nothing sparked his interest anymore.

8:34 PM

Another swig of beer shot down Ed's throat, and he paused only briefly before taking another. He'd lost count of how many beers he had gone through in the past fifteen minutes - though if he truly wanted to know, he could count the bottles thrown across the room. But Ed didn't care. He wanted to lose himself, he didn't want to remember anything that had happened in the past twenty four hours.  If that meant going into a stupor, so be it.

9:01 PM 

Tears dripped down his cheeks, but he didn't notice. Ed, while kneeling in front of her side of the bed, buried his head in the sheets. He didn't care that his tears were marking the clean fabric. To be honest, Ed didn't really care about anything. He licked his lips, before parting them and letting out in a hoarse whisper, "Why? Why now, Sam? Why did you have to leave me? You weren't supposed to go away… You were supposed to be here… With me. Always."

August 14th

Fidgeting with his jacket, Ed nodded to another person who offered their condolences. He learned to tune them out, because in the past four days, he taught himself to be numb. He refused to believe she was gone, because there was no way his happy, full of life, fiancé could just be gone. 

"Honey, are you going to come inside? The service is starting soon.." The voice of Sam's mother broke into Ed's thoughts. The lady had a sad smile written across her lips, as she rested her hand on his arm. 

He nodded wordlessly again, before offering to escort her inside. He sat down on the last chair on the right side of the church, feeling the sympathetic glances that everyone was shooting his way. He simply focused all of his attention on the flowers surrounding the casket. 

Something so beautiful in a place that is so downcast. There was something oddly capturing about it; that they could bloom and bring light into such a dark, dark time. The words the pastor said whizzed past Ed, as he kept his eyes trained on the picture of his fiancé. The words 'it'll be hard to move on' floated past him and he couldn't help but think to himself, how could he ever move on?

He had planned their life out. He thought he knew everything that was going to happen to them.. They'd buy a place in Texas, he'd let her furnish it with anything she wanted, they'd spend their days together in the studio - her playing piano and him playing guitar. They'd have kids one day, then they'd grow old, playing Bingo and card games. But now none of that could happen.. His well constructed idea had been bashed and torn to pieces.

"Now, if Ed would like to come up and say a few words.." The pastor said loudly, the ginger's eyes snapping up to him as he felt dread wash over him.

Ed's feet felt like they weighed a million pounds as he slowly made his way to the microphone. He cleared his throat, eyes glazed as he stared at the hundreds of people there to mourn. "Hello. I'd thank you all for coming, but that sounds as though I'm happy you're here. I knew I would be seeing you all in a church similar to this one- I just thought it would be a much happier occasion. And not quite so soon. As most of you know, Samantha and I got engaged last summer. Losing her so suddenly and so drastically.. I haven't quite come to grips with it yet."

Ed paused, to take a calming breath. 

"The happiest day of my life will always be the day I first met her; if only I could go back and tell myself to always treat her like the angel she was. Samantha will always be the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on, nothing will change that. I will miss her every second of every day."

~ February 19th, 2010 ~

"Chai tea, medium. A blueberry muffin. For here." Ed spoke quickly, handing over the appropriate amount of money for the drink. 

"Is that all?" The barista asked, her voice pure and sweet.

Ed, for the first time since entering the building, looked up. It wasn't the usual woman behind the counter- the older lady who would smile sweetly and mumble on about how Ed needed a girlfriend. Instead, a young lady with red-tinted blonde hair stood behind the cash register with wide hazel eyes. He took a sudden breath. 

"Yeah," Ed managed to get out. "Yeah, that's all."

"Are you okay?" She laughed, as she placed the notes into the register. 

"I'm fine." Ed stumbled. "What happened to Martha?" 

"She traded to the later shift. Her son came home from college so she's spending more time with him. We switched our times. I'm Samantha," she spoke swiftly as she whipped around the small space, putting together Ed's order. 

"Ah, yes. I'm Ed." He introduced himself awkwardly. He's never been one to be fast and witty with responses. Especially with attractive women. Ed's never been good with women - unless he'd known them for long periods of time or they were dating one of his best mates. As long as he knew they were off limits, he was fine.

"Oh! You're Ed! Martha told me about you. Seems as though she thinks you're a lovely young man.. And she wanted me to scope out a few girls for you." Samantha tried to conceal a smile as she presented Ed with his drink and breakfast.

Ed let a groan slip past his lips. "Of course she did."

"Don't worry, I'll find you some pretty ones. What about that blonde girl in the corner over there? She's quite pretty." Samantha said in all seriousness, although amusement was laced into her voice.

"Too blonde. And way out of my league." He replied, something tugging at his heart as this Samantha girl acted like she had known Ed for years.

"Don't shoot yourself down like that, a lot of girls like gingers." Samantha winked as she started to wipe the counter down with a cloth.

"Oh, really?" Ed asked, a hint of a smile on his face.

"Yes, really."

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