Those hard days, seem to be getting so much harder. Saying goodbye to Rex, is getting harder and harder and harder. Sunday, was one such day.

After spending the entire day together, relaxing in each other's company, when it was eventually time for me to leave Rex's house, it seemed to sting a little more than usual.

It stung because I am getting more and more used to having him around. I am getting used to him loving me and to me loving him.

So when he's not around, the emptiness I feel is getting more and more noticeable whenever he isn't. Usually, I hide my hurt really well. But on Sunday, my hurt betrayed me. It sat on my face so very obviously. Rex saw the sadness welling in my eyes, so he just held out his arms and said. "Come here." Holding me close against his rising chest as he lovingly offered me some more of his sweet comfort. My arms didn't hesitate wrapping themselves around him. They held on tight with love and relief tingling right through them as I breathed in his masculinity like it was the only thing that my lungs would ever need. "I love you." Rex said, as my face was lovingly still embedded within his strong chest. "I'll see you soon."

But soon has betrayed me, torturously betrayed me.

It's now Wednesday and soon hasn't come at all. Of course, Rex has texted me. And of course, he has called me. But now, I need to see him. I need to see him in the beautiful flesh. Every beautiful inch of him. I need to touch and hold him. To breathe in his scent. That's the only thing that will now calm me. You see, hearing his voice, only feeds the hollow ache growing inside of my body. It nourishes my emptiness and starves my heart. Today, I am actually fed up.

No matter how hard I try to shake it off, I just can't. I am so bloody fed up, I have thrown myself headlong into organising the new social history event that we are hosting. It's a new learning initiative by the museum, that shall hopefully give children from local schools an informative visual experience that will enhance their history education and will run alongside the National Curriculum. Personally, I think it's a great idea. It's narrowing the gap between the local community and the museum. It's enabling the locals to use the museum itself, as a fantastic learning tool...and it keeps my mind off Rex.

This slightly depressing Wednesday morning has fortunately flown by. I have been using all of my pent up frustrations in the most professional of ways, by completing the 'Then & Now Entertainment Gallery'. It's an interactive presentation of how children used to play and what they used to do it with. The items on display date from the 1900s to present day. From dolls to skittles, and Automata toys to Whip and Tops. Then moving through the times to board games and hand held consoles. I am absolutely thrilled with how it all looks. We have been collecting items for many months now. So to see it finally on full display, makes all the hard work very worthwhile. In fact, so worthwhile, I deserve a nice cup of tea. As I am hot-footing it towards the restaurant, I happen to glance across towards the main reception.

There, stands Rex. My Rex. He's chatting and laughing with Angela, completely at ease. Sexily at ease. I am momentarily glued to the carpeted floor. My heels silently stuck to the red tufted fabric. Absolutely and mesmerisingly stuck.

I just need a second for my heart to stop pounding and for the crazy little butterflies that wildly flutter around in my stomach to calm the hell down. I am telling the pounding and the fluttering inside of me to stop, but they won't. Rex looks wonderful, he really does. My elated eyes soak up the glorious sight of him. From his freshly washed hair, to his checked casual shirt, down to his twisted denim jeans and his dark brown Brogue boots. He's quite simply, perfect. All my perfect.

As I am standing there; admiringly gawping at him, he spots me from out of the corner of his happy eye. If a smile could light up the entire world, his would be the one to do it. Angela turns, knowing that I am the reason for his majestic smile. That's my prompt to actually start walking, instead of hopelessly gawping.

"Rex has requested to take you out for lunch, so grab your things." Angela grins, watching me as I walk closer towards them with eager and heeled strides.

"Lunch?" I stupidly ask, still slightly overwhelmed by Rex's being here.

Politely, yet ever so sweetly, he takes hold of my hand. "Are you hungry?" He looks at me, a smile gorgeously reaching the farthest corners of his shapely mouth.

Nodding with such enthusiasm, I manage to answer. "Starving."

"Good. I'll wait here whilst you grab your coat." He tells me, lovingly squeezing my hand before letting go of it.

Still a little lost for words, I obediently turn. With each step I take towards my office, the more my excitement grows. That excitement squeezes the living daylights out of all the emptiness that I have been carrying around inside of me. Feeling this way, has become a regular thing for me now. Every time I see Rex, the excitement suffocates my hollowness. When I leave him, the hollowness suffocates my excitement. It keeps happening and it will continue to happen. It's just the way things are at the moment. These are the two feelings that I persistently swing between. Rex and I, have officially been seeing each other for just over a month now. We see each other as much as we can. When he's not working, he comes to me. When I'm not working, I go to him. He has a key to my place. I have a key to his. This is normal for us. It's certainly not idyllic, but for now, it will have to do. Work, time and distance, exhausts us. Those three factors, make it so very difficult. But I'll take difficult, if it means having Rex in my life again.

Have I thought about moving to London? Yes.

Have I thought about finding a job nearer to London? Yes.

I have thought about it so much lately, I actually give myself blinding headaches. That, and the tiredness, gives me blinding headaches.

It just seems that the more we try to nurture our relationship, the tireder we seem to get. It's far more difficult for Rex to fit me into his life, because his work hours are so varied and often unsociable. Sometimes, when I am not working but I know he is, I will still drive to London. I just like being surrounded by his things. Being surrounded by his smell. Being surrounded by him. There have been a couple of occasions when he has come home in the early hours, to find me contentedly asleep in his bed. To feel him slide in behind me and pull me tight against his body with a loving but exhausted sigh, is the greatest feeling in the world. Without him even having to say it, I just know he is glad that I am there. Just as I am about him being here right now. With my bag swung over my shoulder and my mobile in my hand, I am ready to have a precious lunch date with my very precious man. Striding towards him and glowing with confidence, I almost sing out. "I'm ready!"

Sliding his arm around my waist, he smiles. "You certainly are." Then looking across to Angela, he says his polite goodbye to her. "I'll have her back by two. Great to see you, Angie...tell Aidan I'll call him sometime this week, okay?" He's absolutely being his usual and charming self, but also seems keen to get away as quickly as possible.

Acknowledging Rex's keenness, Angela just smirks. "I will, have fun!"

With our arms brushing against each other's as we walk towards his car, I snuggle in just that little bit closer against him. "I'm glad you're here."

Rex slows down, eventually stopping. "I've missed you." His hand now holds my cheek in his warm palm as his eyes lock deeply onto mine before slowly pulling me in for a meaningful kiss. His mouth is delicately dominant—cushioned and caring against mine.

With my content heart expanding, I actually sigh as our lips sedately separate. "I've missed you too." My head now rests against his shoulder as I silently appreciate this sweet and unexpected moment.

Rex looks back at the museum, throwing me one of his adorable slanted grins. "I have an historical need to get you naked, but it'll have to wait until you have finished work." His eyes are now sexily narrowed, staring back at me with a knowingness upon the whole of his handsome face.

Wrapping both of my arms around his arm, I snuggle in closer. "Does this mean that you're staying the night?"

His grin remains exactly where it is, tilting his head nearer to mine. "Most of it, yes." Then looking sideways, he checks whether his answer is good enough for me. It most certainly is. So I squeeze him just that little bit tighter and snuggle up to him even more than before, elated to get him all to myself tonight. "I have a special evening planned for us." The way in which he casually just adds that, and using his deeply rich voice, has the butterflies in my stomach swoop silently in and frantically start fluttering around with giddy anticipation.

Rex.

Me.

Alone.

Special night planned.

Oh my days! I am now twisting myself up into an excited bundle of impatient eagerness. After this lunch date with Rex, I think the end of my working day is going to insufferably drag. I will literally be counting down the moments until it's time to go home—to go home to him. "You do?" The words tumble out of my mouth with a dulcet dreaminess attached to them. It's such a treat to have Rex just show up like this and to then surprise me with the fact that he is staying over as well. I honestly could squeal!

With a cheeky glint in his eye, he grins. "I really do." Is what he suggestively leaves me hanging onto, as we leisurely stride towards his car.

"Why am I getting this surprise visit?" My keen eyes flick back across to him before we both ease ourselves into his lovely little black Audi TT.

Once sat comfortably behind the steering wheel, he decides to answer as he is thoughtfully turning the ignition. "Because we need this." Again, he leaves me hanging onto his intense reply. Our gaze on each other momentarily lingers and I say nothing. I just keep looking at the man who always seems to know what to say and what to do. He doesn't need to elaborate on his softly spoken reply. I know exactly what he means when he says that we need this.

We do need this.

We absolutely do.

We need some quality time together because any time spent apart, seems so much harder these days.

A silent understanding is passed between us as our mutual gaze quickly comes to an end. Rex lovingly smiles, then drives. As he does, I place my hand on his inner thigh. The tender touch is not only for the enjoyment I get from being close to him, it's also to show how much his being here truly does mean to me. Without using any words, my fingers express my gratitude through only a tenderly placed hand. Again, Rex smiles.

He doesn't turn his head to look at me.

He doesn't say a word.

He just drives, still wearing that glorious smile of his.

**

We are sat cosily together in a traditional country pub not far from the museum, enjoying our quick lunch date. The conversation has been light and the cuddles plentiful. I couldn't peel the smile from off my face, even if I tried. Being here, like this with Rex, just feels so wonderfully good. "Remember when we had that late night walk on the common?" I am smirking as I pop an olive into my mouth. Seeing the black olives in a bowl on our small round table, has just reminded me of this one time that we had been out for drinks and Tapas. Slightly drunk, I had suggested going for a stroll on the local common.

Rex starts tucking into the salty fruits as the memory brings a small smile to his face. "How can I forget it!" He's chuckling now, slowing chewing the olive in his mouth as his eyes crinkle up at the corners. "If I remember rightly, you thought it would be romantic?"

I lean forward in my seat, laughing too. "And it would have been if you hadn't fallen into a fresh cow pat!" My laughter deepens at the hilarious memory of Rex stumbling and falling to the ground. In a knelt down position, it was then that he felt the cow pat seeping through the knees of his jeans. "I don't think I have ever got the sight of you with those two big and smelly stains on your jeans, out of my head." My laughter erupts again.

Cocking his head to the side with a smirk, Rex replies with a slow shaking of the head. "If you're wanting to do another one. May I suggest we don't do it on National Trust land, and with cows!" His full lips are pursed now, playfully unimpressed.

Eagerly, I answer. "Does this mean that you will come on another late night walk with me?"

Leaning closer; intimately closer, Rex whispers against my cheek. "I'd go anywhere with you, Angel." His fingers loosely clasp mine, staring down at our fingers lovingly mingling with each other's. "Do you still like Tulips?" He randomly asks from out of nowhere, now looking very much into my eyes.

Surprised and slightly flustered, I quietly find myself answering. "Yes."

"Yellow ones?"

I nod, my eyes now softened with an inner calm reaching for me. I just love how Rex seems to remember all the little things about me from our brief but beautiful time together nine years ago. He himself, seems pleased that he remembers such things too. His not forgetting, makes us seemingly both happy. "Do you still like those awful bloody sweets, Parma Violets?" I smirk at him with a weightless gaze.

He laughs, lowering his head slightly. "Of course I do!"

I screw my face up, shuddering at the thought of them. "Seriously?"

Rex nods with such enthusiasm. "Yup!"

I am literally cringing now. I never could stand the smell of Parma Violets but Rex always loved them. He would purposely suck on them and then kiss me. It used to drive me nuts. But when things ended between us, I would sometimes buy a pack of them. The smell that I actually couldn't stand, would strangely bring me comfort. On my darkest of days, those little purple sweets would remind me of the Parma Violet kisses that Rex would teasingly always give to me. Pushing those lonely memories from out of my mind, I lean in close to those kissable lips of his. "Because I love you so much, the sweets can stay." Then I kiss those kissable lips of his, because I absolutely can.

With his mouth moving perfectly with mine, I feel his smile growing within our delicate kiss. Slowly, Rex ends it by separating our loving lips. "It's nearly two, I'd better get you back."

With a groan, I begrudgingly pull away from him. "Can't we just stay here and snog all day?" I'm suddenly adopting a silly love-struck tone.

Rex holds my face still in his hands, staring down at my pouting lips before giving them a chaste little kiss. "You can snog my face off, later." Then he gives me another one of his little kisses, before putting his coat on. "Come on! The sooner you get to work, the sooner you can finish work."

See? He always knows what to say and what to do.