Over the week, Kian seems to cheer back up. He needs to get it through his head that I am not leaving him. No matter how much he asks, I'll certainly keep finding him. I don't know why he kissed me. It couldn't have been for nothing. If he kissed me, that means he likes me. And if he likes me, he won't want me to leave. Did he really expect me to just walk away from him on Monday?

But he hasn't kissed me since. And he hasn't called me beautiful or even anything. He's trying to put distance between us. I don't want that. I don't even know how we went from almost lovers to just friends again.

I don't believe he is The Red. I think he may have had an experience with them in the past, but I know him better than to think he's an eleventh degree murderer. Sure, I don't know much about him, but that doesn't mean I don't know him.

On Friday, I'm panicking because at 10:50 pm, there's still people walking about the house. It's ten after eleven when everything goes silent and I can sneak out.

Kian isn't laying in the grass today. He's sitting on a bench near the playground. He said he wanted to show me something, but what? He hasn't mentioned it at all since that one time.

"Sorry I'm late," I tell him. "People wouldn't go to bed."

"I was thinking you finally decided to stop hanging around me."

"Never."

He smiles. It's not his real smile. I suddenly worry I'll never see it again.

"You wanted to show me something?" I say.

"Yes. Follow me." He begins walking way from the park. I feel like he should've grabbed my hand but of course, he's pulling me back to the friend zone.

I follow him for about a block and then ask, "Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

We walk until we've stepped out of town. We walk on the edge of the town by a dirt road. The houses near here are huge. Three floors, with lush lawns and gardens. We're probably by the wealthy part of town. I've never come to this part of town; I've never had a reason to.

The houses stop, and there's just dirt for a few hundred meters until I see a large meadow.

"Are we going there?" I ask.

"Yeah."

Once we've reached the meadow, I see that it's below me. There's a hill in the ground from the dirt to the body of grass. Kian steps down and lays down on the hill, just like he lays down in the park to watch the stars. I lay down beside him.

"Why are you showing me this?"

"We're being rebellious."

"But why here?"

"This...this is where I come when I need to get away from things."

"What things?"

"My house."

"You walk way out here to get away from home?"

"Actually, my house is down there," he motions to the street of big houses.

"Wait.... You live in that rich neighborhood?"

"Yes."

"Why do you get away from it?"

"My parents."

"Kian! Do the beat you?"

"No."

"Use you?"

"No."

"Do they-"

"No. They don't do anything to me."

"Why do you leave?"

"Sometimes I really don't like them. ...They're like rich snobs."

"Oh...."

"You know, Natalie, I realized that you and I are always asking each other why."

"It's because we refuse to be open with each other."

"I wonder why."

"Well, you have reasons, and I have reasons."

"I'm not saying you're lying about having secrets," he says. "But sometimes I really wonder what you can't tell me."

"You too! I have no idea why you don't tell me anything!"

"Someday I'll tell you. Maybe."

"The truth always comes out."

"Exactly," he says sadly.

Neither of us says anything, and my thoughts drift to the day he kissed me. I don't even realize a smile is forming on my face.

"What are you thinking of?" Kian asks.

"Oh." I blush. "I was.... I was thinking about the day you kissed me."

He looks up. "Ah, yes. I was unusually happy on that day."

I slowly sit up. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know.... I was just in this really giddy mood...." He seems far away.

"Kian...."

"I wonder what was up with me? I was really out of character."

"Kian!"

But it's like he can't even hear me.

"What do you-"

"Kian!" I snap my fingers in his face. My next sentence comes out rushed and somewhat panicked. "Are you saying that the reason you kissed me was because of your giddy mood and not because of your actual feelings?!"

Seemingly out of nowhere, he pulls me down toward him. I tense my muscles.

He wraps his arms around me. "I swear you can be the most stubborn little thing!"

With that, he kisses me. But I'm too shocked to move. I just sit frozen in his arms. He pulls away and looks into my eyes. Then, I relax my muscles and reach up to kiss him back.

After that, neither of us says anything. We just sit there.

I'm the first one to speak. "Kian.... When do I get to know?"

"I don't know. It's not just me keeping things from you.... If I tell you everything, someone could get hurt. I could get hurt." He pauses. "That sounds selfish. Maybe I should just tell you."

"No!" I shriek. "Don't tell me anything that's going to get you hurt! It's not worth it! And don't you tell me you're not worth it, because you are. You can't just keep playing with me. Don't act like you should mean nothing to me and then kiss me, okay? You aren't a piece of trash, Kian. At least not to me."

"A piece of trash is all I've ever been."

"And I don't care about that. You mean something now."

Why am I doing this? I'm so close to the truth and I'm chasing it away. I'm sure there is some way we could work it out. I can keep a secret. But maybe it would throw a dent in us. Maybe it'll somehow be a big deal to me. In that case, I don't want to know.

"You sure?" he asks.

"I'm sure. I have no idea what you could be keeping from me, Kian Aethelmaer, but it can stay hidden as long as you're right here."

He smiles. It's not the genuine smile, but I wouldn't expect him to smile like that at a time like this anyway. I'll make him do that smile again, but maybe now's not the time.

"It's getting late," Kian says.

"It always is."

"Yeah, well, we should get you home."

"And what about you?"

"I'll go home after. I'm not letting you off alone in the middle of the night."

That wouldn't be a good idea.

After we stand, I say, "Kian? Can I see you tomorrow too?"

"You mean later today? Its past midnight."

I giggle. "Yeah."

"Okay then." The smile he shows me now is close enough to his real smile that I feel satisfied.

Kian walks me home. I watch him walk away, and I miss him already.

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Little Lacy by @AmandaJuneHagarty

This story has the cutest idea to it. :) @AmandaJuneHagarty gives awesome feedback but of course, you should check out her stories before anything else. ;)