It came back to me in pieces, small bits of sensation that made me aware of my surrounding gradually. I was lying on something soft and warm, instinctively sensing I was low to the ground. Crackles and rustling filtered through the fog of my mind, along with the thick, heavy scent of wood smoke. Was that murmuring, faint whispers of voices nearby? Groaning I tried to force my eyelids open.

"Mamma?" At my ragged croak the voices ceased and I heard movement approach where I lay. Something rough but gentle touched my face, then my neck. Alarm lurched through me at the foreign feel, for I knew the fingers did not belong to anyone in my family. Starting to panic now, I fought my reluctant lids to open, blinking heavily as I tried to focus.

"Mamma...Frank-?"

"Ah-blah kay-lah, Kimimela...you are safe here."

Above me, hovering too close for my liking, was a darkly tanned face frame by long sheets of black hair. His eyes were nearly black, flecked with amber and brown, and seemed kind. Alarm jolted through me, but not powerfully enough to fully drive away the stupor of exhaustion and pain. Staring at him as though I'd never seen another living human before, it took a long moment before recognition came to me.

"Stalking Elk?" My lips dry as sun beaten leather, mouth gummy from lack of water, I sounded more like a bull frog. The shaman reached behind him and produced a cup of liquid, putting it to my lips. His other hand slid behind my head, lifting me enough so I could drink. It smelled herbal and I swallowed it almost automatically, trust instinctive.

"You remember me then...that is good," his smile was gentle as his gently eased me back. "I was not certain you would return."

"Return?" I frowned, trying to understand then memory came at me with a rush. "I-I thought I was home, dreaming- the dream...that was you?"

"You were hurt badly, Kimimela, and you would not respond, so I asked the spirits to call you to me, to find your wandering soul before you became lost."

"Where am I?" It suddenly occurred to me that if I was speaking to Stalking Elk, I was not at home. I remembered a soft voice, a warm touch- "What happened?"

"You have been injured, shot. Wind Runner brought you to me, fearing you were dying. You have been here, in my care."

I tried to sit up but gasped in pain, gritting my teeth so an agonized scream did not escape. Stalking Elk put a firm hand on my shoulder, resisting my attempts.

"You are not ready to rise, stay,"

"My family...how long have I been here?" Worry was pulsing through me now, pounding in my temples, flaring my raw and weak body with pain.

"I have watched over you for the full turning of nine suns, while you battled fever and sickness."

"Nine- nine suns!" my voice cracked it was so loud. "My mother-!"

"Pay-zjue-dah wee-chah-shah," the voice abruptly came from behind Stalking Elk, and Wind Runner came into sight, his brow furrowed as his gaze fell on me. "Is she recovered?"

"She is anxious," the shaman spoke soothingly, gesturing for the young brave to join him. "There are many questions she will ask, explain what she wants to know. I must go gather more medicines for her poultice."

We were alone then, and Wind Runner settled at my side, taking my hand in his, leaning down to push his forehead against mine.

"Was it you?" my cracked, feathery voice struggled to form words. "I thought there was someone, earlier..."

"I have little left your side, fearing you would leave this world," he murmured, nuzzling my cheek. "I care for you."

"What happened to me? I hurt..."

"A white man," I heard the hatred in his voice. "We were coming here, and a white man attacked us."

"Attacked?" I struggled to remember but there was nothing to fill the void where memory should have been. Wind Runner pulled back enough to look directly into my eyes.

"You were shot, there was so much blood I feared you would not live long enough for Stalking Elk to heal you."

"Shot?" I felt like a child, repeating only certain words, but it was a shock. Who would do such a thing? Why? I voiced my confusion, and Wind Runner shook his head.

"My heart burns with the desire to hunt him down, but I dared not leave, I did not want you to cross over while I was gone."

"My family," I felt tears push at my eyes then but ignored them. "They will be worried, wondering what happened to me...frightened, angry..."

"Be calm," he hushed me gently, laying his fingers over my lips. "I will return you to them, once Stalking Elk releases you from his care. You cannot get up yet, and will not walk for some time."

"They will be out of their minds-!" weakly pushing at his hand, I freed my lips from his restraint. "Please, go to them, explain, let them know-!"

"I will not." His reply was firm. "What do I owe white men? I will get killed for my trouble, and they will go on worrying about you."

It shocked me, and I fell silent, just staring at the man I had believed I would marry. Was he serious? I couldn't make myself believe it.

"Wind Runner, please..."

"No."

Heart pounding painfully in my breast, I turned me face away, closing my eyes before my tears could show. I felt Wind Runner shift as he settled at my side, his arm crossing possessively over my shoulders. I was hurt, angry, and frightened. What would happen if I did not go home? It had been over a week, and I knew my mother would be frantic, Frank out combing the country for her missing child. Would they blame Wind Runner? Would they believe me dead, or eventually give me up as lost? Struggling against the rising tide of frustration, I felt my head swim, clenching my teeth as I sank back into black oblivion.

"Little Butterfly!" his summons was haunting, echoing across the open plains. Leaping to my feet, I turned in a circle, trying to decide where it had come from. Around me was the vastness of the wide grasslands, waving golden blades for endless miles.

"Butterfly!"

"Papa!" my voice resonated through the air. "Papa, where are you?"

"I'm waiting," it floated to me on the wind. "I'm waiting for you."

"I'm coming!" I started to run, not knowing where to go but unable to simply stand idly by. "Wait for me, Papa, I'm coming!"

"Only when you find yourself, will you find me..."

"Papa!"

It woke me, the feeling of loss and desperation. Had this all been a horrible nightmare? Clawing my way from deep sleep, I forced my eyes open, straining to see in the darkness. Faint shadows danced above me, and I had to blink several times before I recalled where I was. Turning my head, I saw the deep red glow of embers burning in the circle of firestone, casting dim light within the walls of the tepee. Across from me, sitting up cross legged, his shoulders relaxed, eyes closed, was Stalking Elk. I thought he was asleep.

"You dream, Little Butterfly," he spoke without opening his eyes.

"How do you know?" I began to wonder if the shaman was somehow inside my mind, influencing my dreams. His lips cracked into a smile but he remained motionless.

"I do not have access to your mind...you talk in your sleep. The loss of your father haunts you."

"I miss him,"

"How old were you?"

"My mother ran from the people of my father when I was seven years," I spoke softly, keenly recalling that night. At the time I hadn't been aware I would never go back. "I heard that he had been killed after my mother married the man Frank Colter, I was eleven."

"Wind Runner told you."

"Yes." I could not tell if he knew that, or if he was guessing.

"Your heart broke, and it has never mended."

"I feel incomplete...a piece of me is missing."

"So you were coming here, to marry Wind Runner, and rejoin your people?"

"This is where I belong." I was surprised at the conviction in my tone, considering my dissatisfaction with the young brave's refusal to comply with my wish he alert my family to my whereabouts. Stalking Elk finally opened his eyes, fixing me with a piercing gaze.

"You will not find what you seek here, Little Butterfly."

"What? What do you mean?"

"You look for a home where there is complete acceptance and belonging...such a place does not exist. There is those among our small village who hate the white eyes, who cannot accept them, and look on them with vengeance. Strife, disagreement, resentment, it lies in the heart of us all, to one degree or another."

"Are you saying I cannot stay here? That I am unwelcome?"

"Of course not," leaning forward, the shaman stirred the coals before adding a few slim branches to the dying flames. "You are welcome to join us, and you will be rejoiced over, but if you think that will bring you the sense of belonging you seek, it will not."

"Why are you saying this?" I felt rejection flare up inside me, disbelief and frustration welling in my heart.

"Because Wind Runner is a fine brave, and he loves you." I felt myself flush as the Medicine Man studied my face. "If you cling to memories of the past, and long for Wind Runner because he brings your father back to your heart, you will not be happy and thus unable to make him so. It is a miserable punishment to inflict on him for so selfish a reason."

"Selfish?" My voice was sharp but the pain from my healing wounds kept me in place. "You think my love is selfish?"

"You are so young," his response was more of a rebuke than an observation. "Can you not see beyond what you think you know? There is more to the world, Little Butterfly, than what we see with our eyes."

"So, I am destined to wander without a path?"

"Perhaps I spoke too soon," he rose gracefully, looking down at me with serious eyes. "I will leave you to rest, and think on my words."

"Stalking Elk!" I cried out to him, but he left the tepee without looking back, and I was left alone. I resented his assertions, but alone, without eyes to see me, I did indeed begin to think deeply on them. The flap of the tepee moved and I looked up, hoping the shaman had returned, but Wind Runner appeared instead, moving to my side. His look was guarded.

"I was waiting outside, and could not help but overhear." He knelt next to me, reaching out but stopping short of touching me. "Is what he said true?"