It wasn't until after dinner, Rose was sleep and Mamma knitting by the fire, that Frank ushered me gently out to the front porch. We settled in the dusky blue gray of twilight.

"Well? Let's have it."

"Father-"

"No. No more secrets. That was the deal."

"I...I do not know what I want, not anymore."

"Wind Runner make an offer to you?" His tone was casual but I slanted a look from the corner of my eye. Frank's expression was stiff.

"Yes." There was no point in lying, so I said it plainly. "He wants me as his wife."

"And?" His prompt was soft, although a little rough.

"We argued." I felt it starting again, my throat constricting, hot tears stinging my eyes. "He wants me to forget my white half, but...how can I? It's part of who I am. Isn't that what you've been teaching me for years?"

"Yeah," Frank leaned forward, clasping his hands together, elbows on his knees. "But Jaynie...life isn't always clear cut, its not all or nothin', this or that, an' it's not a happy blend of everything either. We have to make our own way, try an' cut our trail best we can. I've taught you best I can for life here in town with us, but Butterfly, if you decide you want to be Kimimela...you don't have to take Jaynie with you. You can leave her right here."

"I can?" Startled, I felt my pulse spike. "What do you mean?"

"How much of a white man's life are you gonna really need livin' with the Sioux? Not enough to worry about I reckon, so if that's what you choose, don't fret over it."

"Is it that easy?"

"I didn't say easy," he turned his head to look at me. "I said it was a choice. Nothin' about life is easy, not even the good bits. Wind Runner makes you happy, and you want to go that route...go." I could see he was struggling now. "Your ma and I, that's all we really want for you."

"If you'd said that to me a week ago," shaking my head, I leaned forward too. "I would already be deep in those hills, racing into his arms. Now? Father...I just don't know what's right for me anymore."

"You startin' to think maybe Toby Whitney is an option?"

"Frank!"

"Hey, I wasn't the one gawkin' at him earlier." He was teasing me now, and I couldn't help but grin.

"Maybe I was, but only because he's kind to me. It's strange."

"I don't reckon any of us figured on a white man makin' eyes at you, Butterfly, not after all that trouble over Sam Hayes."

"He and Bobby brought that on themselves," I defended, and Frank grinned crookedly at me.

"Yeah, but keep that to yourself. It's been mostly forgot by now...unless you got something you wanna add? You never did much complainin' about those days, when you could've hunted them down yourself..."

"Who said anything about Wind Runner? No one can prove he cut off Sammy's ear lobes." I affected innocence, batting my lashes. Frank stared a moment then scowled, shaking his head.

"I shoulda known." He didn't sound mad, so we sat in silence for a little while.

"Father?"

"What?"

"Will you always be my father?"

"What's that mean?" Turning to face me now, Frank looked into my eyes. I studied him acutely, trying to absorb every detail of his features.

"No matter what, will you always love me, and be there for me?"

"Just try an' stop me." Reaching out, his calloused hand laid over mine, folding over my fingers. "You're the first kid I've had, and by far the most challenging, but I love you girl, you hear? No one out there will love you as much as I do."

"I love you too," Whispering the words, I shifted to lean against him, my head on his shoulder. I felt my eyes closing when the low call of an owl sounded from beyond the barn. It was a haunting sound, lonely and sad. Goosebumps prickled up my spine but I did not move. Frank sensed that something had changed but other than moving a little to fix his gaze that way, he did not speak. The call came again, yearning, but I burrowed my face into Frank's shirt, trying to ignore it.

"That him?" it was spoken quietly, and I nodded without looking up. "You can't hide from this, Butterfly. You hafta face it, sooner or later."

"I know." Fresh tears were burning my eyes. "Just not right now."

"Okay." His arm dropped over my shoulder, comforting and safe. After a while the owl's call stopped, and the lulling song of crickets took over. I didn't remember falling asleep, but when I woke I was in my bed, curled around the warm softness of my baby sister. It was not a school day so I slid silently from the bed without waking her. Mamma was in the kitchen kneading dough, and glanced at me.

"Hi sweetheart. Hungry?"

"No," I shook my head, moving over to lean my head on her shoulder. "Where's Frank?"

"Already gone," she sounded a little disappointed and I slanted my eyes at her. I wondered if she missed him, for he was away more now. "You two have a nice talk?"

"Yes."

"Good," Plopping the rolled dough into a bowl, she covered it with a towel to let it rise then turned to me. I could tell she felt a little disturbed over my closer intimacy with Frank, but it didn't show in her voice or eyes when she spoke. "I'm going into town today, I need fabric to make dresses for Rose. She's growing so fast, and you were so rough on your old clothes. Do you want to come?"

"No." The town held no appeal for me. "I'll stay here."

"You will? You won't wander?"

"Mamma," I felt a rise of impatience. "I'm not a wild child that runs away at every opportunity. I'll be fine."

"It's just, you've been through a lot lately, and I-"

"Mamma!" staring at her, I shook my head in disbelief. "I said I would be here."

"Don't take that tone with me, Jaynie," arching her brow, she moved away but let the subject drop. "Would you wake up your sister? She only needs to dress, I'm going to let her eat in town."

Climbing back up the ladder, I perched on the top reaching out to brush my fingers over Rose's cheek.

"Rosebud..." lightly tickling her neck, I spoke gently. "Come on Rose, wake up."

"Mmm," her soft grunt was sour and she half rolled away. "Go 'way."

"No," my fingers flitted around her ears and neck. "Wake up."

"Sissy-!" It was a protesting whine as she tried to move out reach. "I wanna sleep!"

"Mamma says you're going into town," I reminded her, trying to remember if I was like that when I was her age. "Would you rather sleep or not?"

"Town?" Curious, her eyes popped open and she looked at me. "Are you coming?"

"No, just you and Mamma."

When she did not protest I felt a small shiver of disappointment. Rose had always sought out my company, preferring to spend time with me when possible. That she did not say so this morning had a strange effect on me. Downstairs, she shook off my hands when I tried to brush her hair, pulling the silken tresses from me.

"I want Mamma to do it," Her brow was furrowed into a scowl as she stared belligerently up at me.

"What's wrong?" I knelt down to her level, trying to ignore the warning tingling along my spine. "Are you angry with me, Rosebud?"

"My name is Rose," she corrected me, wrinkling her nose. "Not Rosebud."

"Alright," Taken back a little, I wasn't certain what to say to this child who had previously been my shadow. She flounced around me, refusing to look at me again and I got up turning to look at my mother. Our eyes met in curious wonder, and she shrugged just as confused as I.

"Mamma?" my little sister pointedly held out the brush. "Would you do my hair?"

"Sure baby," Mamma ran the bristles through her locks. "Would you like Jaynie to help you dress?"

"No." Her accusing green eyes swung to me. "I don't want her help."

"Rose!" Mamma stopped turning the child to face her. "I won't have you talk that way! Jaynie is your older sister, you speak respectfully to her."

"Why?" It shocked us, for Rose had never been openly defiant before. "She won't be here long!"

"Rose-!" Mamma started to speak, but then stopped, too stunned to continue. The child glared from her to me, then back again.

"I've heard you talking!" she stomped her foot. "Jaynie's leaving to go live with the Indians! I hate her!"

"Rose!" Her cheeks going pink, I watched our mother's anger rise. "Don't you dare say anything like that again! I will tan your backside until you can't sit down!"

"But it's true!" Rose insisted, pointing a finger at me. "She's leaving!"

"Eavesdropping is rude," moving forward, I spoke up at last. "You should know better."

"I heard you!" her face flushed Rose glared at me, tears in her eyes. "You're gonna leave and go live with the Indians, and you'll never come back!"

"Rosebud," moving to her side, I took her arms in my hands, holding them against her resistance. "I don't know that I'm leaving, and if I do, I don't know where I'd go...but even if I did, little one, I will always come back to you."

"I don't believe you," she was sniffling now, tears bubbling in her eyes, spilling down her cheeks. I wiped them away with the back of one finger.

"Yes you do," Leaning forward, pushing my forehead against hers, I smiled. "When have I ever lied to you?"

"Never,"

"That's right," Standing up, I pulled her into my arms. "I will always be your big sister, and I will always be here for you, even if I move away."

"I don't want you to go," She finally burrowed into my neck, her arms winding tight around me. Cuddling her close, I held on.

"Don't think about that right now," nuzzling my face into her hair, I looked over my mother. "I'm here now."