A/N:Hello lovelies! I'm so sorry for how long this has taken me; my life has been quite hectic and even when I wanted to write I couldn't because of how busy I was, and then I got sick. That being said, this is a Christmas chapter with the Jamesons, and I hope you like it, because I think it's not really my best work, but oh well! Happy reading, and please comment and vote, they make me feel more motivated to keep writing!

**This chapter is dedicated to _wild_youth_ for the amazing cover she made that is on the book now and that you can see at the top!**

**Song: So Long by Francesca Battistelli**

Stephanie's POV

"Stop pulling my hair you little demon!"

I watch in amusement as Andrew unsuccessfully tries to dodge Haley's onslaught of pulls to his hair. You see, Andrew is religious about his hair. You touch it, you're dead. That simple.

He grabs her small hands and forces her down onto the couch.

"If you stop, I'll bring you to the candy shop tomorrow." He tells her. Haley's eyes light up, and she immediately leaves to go bother Hale who's scarfing down Christmas cookies while Mrs. Jameson finishes cooking.

It's Christmas day and Amy, Jess, and I had gotten here at 9 am. We were pretty exhausted, but upon getting to here after leaving Jess at her house, we saw the bright Christmas lights and smelt the wonderful eggnog and christmas pastries that were absolutely mouthwatering, and our fatigue seemed to just leave. I've always been a Christmas nut, though, and it's one thing that almost left me when my mom died and my dad turned cold, but going to the Jamesons seems to just lift me up and bring back all those wonderful Christmases I had when my mom was still alive. It's magical. Except of course for the four annoying brothers that lived here.

Someone tries to sneak up behind me, and I turn around quickly yelling, "Ahh!"

Hayden yells back, and trips backward from the sudden fright. I laugh until my sides hurt and he stands there with a pout.

"Ok, ok, it's not that funny!" He says with narrowed eyes. I smirk.

"Yeah, it kind of is. I mean, I have heard some girlish screams before, but that one takes the cake. Judging by how high it was, you might be able to sing higher notes than me!"

He frowns, and stomps over to the kitchen to steal some cookies from his brother while muttering something about horrible women these days under his breath. I laugh softly and walk to Amy's room. It's a spacious room with light blue walls filled with posters of great dancers that inspire her. She has big, floor to ceiling windows and a really pretty balcony with a hammock. Her closet isn't walk-in like mine, but it's still pretty big and overflowing with clothes of all kind. Then there's the bed. A queen sized bed with what looks at first glance like a million different pillows (she has a bit of an addiction to small, fluffy ones) of different shades of blue, and silky bedsheets colored silver. Her room was probably one of the best parts of the entire house.

I open the door and see the room in a complete mess with clothes everywhere. The owner herself is in front of the closet muttering to herself as she inspects different items before throwing them with the others. I stare, confused as to why she's so worried about her clothing choice for a dinner that's just family.

"Ames, what's going on?" I ask. She whips her head to where I'm standing, and I look at her frantic face as she walks over to me and drags me to her bed to sit while she speaks.

"It's a nightmare!" She cries as she lays on the silk comforter. "Noah called me and said his family has finished their Christmas dinner already, and asked if he and his siblings can come over so his parents can have some alone time!" I look at her more confused than I was before.

"Ames, you're going to have to spell it out for me, because I still don't get what the big problem is." I tell her slowly. She huffs and puts her head in her hands.

"Steph, Noah is coming with his family! You saw how put together they are. I need to get the perfect outfit to make his sister and brother still think I'm cool, but there's nothing in my closet that can show the same level of cute, hot and sophisticated that I saw on Serena. What do I do?"

I look at her for a second. You see, I know Amy. I know her very well, so I know that this is in no way about what Serena will think.

"Ames, this is really about Noah isn't it? Are you crushing on him?" I ask excitedly. She immediately looks up and shakes her head, but it's too quick for me to believe it's not a lie. I cross my arms in front of me and smirk at her until she groans and puts her head down again.

"Okay, fine. I like him, happy?" She says. I squeal and go over to hug her, but then I realize she's not happy at all. I brush her hair out of her face and look at her, concerned.

"Ames, this is great! I can finally focus on trying to work on a true relationship for you in a way I never could before. Why aren't you happy?"

She sniffles, and my concern grows knowing that she's starting to cry.

"Steph, Noah is a famous dancer. I'm a girl hoping for a chance to get even a quarter of the recognition he has. How will I ever grab his attention? Not to mention, he has girls flocking him everyday that put Miss USA to shame. I can't compete with that. It just sucks that the first guy I get feelings like this for is a big media mogul who probably won't ever think of me as anything other than friends."

I gaze at her for a long while contemplating what she's saying. The thing is, Amy is never this insecure. She's always been the fierce leader of our two-person group of dorks, and her self-esteem has always been great. If anything, I'm usually the one having meltdowns where she has to come and help me calm down with chick flicks and pints of rocky road ice-cream. Call it a perk to being raised with four boys, but she's always had that innate confidence that I've always dreamed of having. It shows me that this isn't just some silly crush. Amy has some very serious feelings for Noah, and I suddenly realize how disastrous it'd be if by some crazy reason Noah rejects her.

So I grab my best friend and pull her into a big hug, and I force her to go shower while I get a really cute red, knit dress with christmasey leggings. It was the perfect outfit of hot, and a holiday theme that would deflect any suspicions of Amy's crush. I leave it on her bed for her to change into and walk down the stairs where the most delicious aroma was coming from.

Upon entering the kitchen, I'm met with absolute mayhem. Mrs. Jameson is frantically icing some cinnamon rolls while trying to deflect Hale's hands from getting any, Haley is on Hayden's back pulling his hair and throwing flour in his face while he tries to get her off of him, and Andrew is in a corner trying to keep Jake in a headlock. The only normal sight was Mr. Jameson who leaned on the table sipping water looking bemusedly at the scene. I laugh and put two fingers in my mouth to whistle really loudly the way Grandpa Sal taught me. Everyone immediately freezes except for Mr. Jameson who just keeps sipping his water looking even more amused.

"Guys, it's Christmas! Either stop being barbarians or go to the basement to do it. Mrs. Jameson is preparing the meal and she needs some space to get it ready, not to mention there are guests coming soon who aren't coming to see you acting like durfwads! So collect yourselves, and try to act like human beings that have some actual common sense would you?"

The siblings all look down with shame and walk out, but I can hear Andrew telling Haley to slap Jake when they leave and I know they're not done bothering each other like the nimrods they are. I shake my head and look at Mrs. Jameson as she wipes her forehead and smiles at me.

"Thank you, love. I love those children of mine, but they sure are a handful sometimes. And how many times do I have to tell you call me Anna?" She asks with that adorable British accent and her hands on her hips when she finally finishes working on the cinnamon rolls. I laugh.

"I know what they're like, no need to thank me. And you know I feel weird calling you guys Anna and Mike." I answer.

"Well please try darling, hearing people call me Mrs. Jameson always makes me feel so old." She shivers dramatically and takes a mouthwatering roasted chicken out of the oven.

I help her get the dinner ready, and soon enough Amy comes in looking beautiful in the outfit I chose and a fishtail braid that I can never pull off without looking like I'm in kindergarten. We help Anna plate the food and put it on the dining room table, and just as she leaves to wash up the doorbell rings.

Amy immediately starts smoothing down imaginary stray hairs, but I calm her down and she smiles at me before putting on a confident face and strutting to the door. I chuckle and stand next to her as she opens the door and a smiling Serena is shown. I look behind her as she hugs Amy and see Noah coming up the steps with a very excited Sammy.

"Hello girls, I'm sure you remember Serena and this little pug, Sammy." He says once he reaches us.

Amy smiles, not a hint of her inner turmoil showing, and she takes Sammy from him as we all walk into the house, and he babbles on about spaceships and chocolate chip cookies. We enter the dining room where all four of Amy's brothers are sitting at the table trying to hit each other with dinner rolls without Anna knowing. Haley immediately looks toward Sammy curiously, and he buries his head in Amy's shoulder blushing bright red. Amy chuckles.

"You are so cute," she says to him in a baby voice even though he's six years not months old. Haley begins pouting from the lack of attention to her and glares at Sammy. The boys are distracted from their fight by this, and they turn to us.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the buttwipe that dances with my sister." Hale says smirking. "Who've you got with you?"

Noah clears his throat nervously, and Serena comes out from behind him where she'd been hidden because of her petite size, and she glares at Hale.

"What did you just call my brother, asshat?" She asks in a low, threatening voice.

Hale opens and shuts his mouth like a fish trying to come up with an answer, but nothing came out. Andrew looked at her like she'd just descended from the heavens as her bright blue eyes stare the boys down.

"Well?" She asks. "Got nothing to say now? Maybe next time you'll keep your mouth shut. Just because you're older doesn't give you the right to bully him. Only I can do that."

The boys looked at each other, then at her, then laugh their butts off and a smirk grows on her face as Noah frowns at her. Mrs. Jameson, no Anna, comes in with the big roasted chicken in a casserole dish and the boys immediately leap up to help her.

"Alright! Let's eat!" Jake yells out rubbing his hands together in excitement.

Everyone laughs and we begin to eat. The boys keep cracking jokes, and Andrew tries to keep Serena's attention unsuccessfully. I watch Haley and Sam curiously as I eat, and see Haley ignore Sam's attempts to make her laugh and get her to talk to him. Hmm, that could definitely become an interesting development.

Just as I finish my third cinnamon roll and start thinking about just how much I need to start running again if I don't want to turn into a big ball, the doorbell rings. I jump up from my chair telling everyone to stay seated, and walk over to the door swinging it open, and I'm met with a huge bouquet of white and red roses. Collin moves his head to the side so I can see him without the huge thing covering him, and smiles sweetly making me swoon.

"Hey," he says softly once I let him in and he puts the bouquet on the coffe table. He takes me in his arms and kisses my neck softly making me shiver. "I missed you so much."

"It's only been a few hours." I whisper to him. The truth is I missed him just as much. We have barely spent any time apart since we became a couple in New York, and the separation now makes me feel lonely. It makes me feel somewhat incomplete, and that scared me so much on the airplane that I wrote an entire song on the way here to get my mind off of it. Unfortunately, the song only made me miss him more because it was all about him.

He kisses me softly, only a whisper of a kiss really, then moves those soft lips to my ear.

"It could be a few minutes and I'd still feel like a part of me is missing." He whispers back.

I smile and snuggle deeper into him, inhaling his wonderful aroma that smells woodsy and fresh. I don't know what perfume he wears, but I wish I could buy it just to sniff it all day because it smells so gosh darn good.

We're so entranced in our world that we don't realize the boys have come over until we hear loud clapping. I blush a deep shade of scarlet as I turn in Collin's embrace towards them and see them all standing with grins on their faces.

"Forget chick flicks, I got an HD view right here, live and in color." Hayden says with a big, fat smirk.

The boys all laugh, and my insta-flush genes come right out again making me look like a tomato. When they quiet down, everyone comes to the living room and we try to decide what to watch. We'd already opened the presents this morning, and boy was it hilarious to see the boys act like toddlers again when they ripped the wrapping paper and joyfully took in their gifts. But now there was the problem that we had different tastes, and it was going to be hard to choose a movie that catered to everyone.

"Well, I'm the oldest and I say we watch Iron Man." Andrew says. He crosses his huge arms with biceps the size of footballs in front of him to stare down at everyone, and I could swear I saw a little drool come out of Serena's mouth.

"I'm the guest, and I say we watch The Matrix." Noah says. He crosses his arms as well, but doesn't get the same level of intimidation as Andrew since dancing doesn't quite give you the same muscle mass as football.

Everyone then begins to argue all over each other, and I just lay back on Collin's chest as I sat on his lap waiting for everyone to come to a decision. Suddenly, we hear Sam's little voice speak out.

"I want to watch the new Spider-Man movie."

The boys stare at him with mouths hung open, probably trying to figure out a way to talk him out of it gently.

"I want to watch that, too!" Haley yell out.

Now, Sam they might have had a chance with in calming him down and changing it. But Haley? Oh no, you learn very quickly that when Haley sets her mind on something, you better suck it up and give it to her or she will have a temper tantrum like nothing you've ever seen. Imagine the vocal cords of Beyonce, the anger of a pissed off momma bear, and a swarm of angry bees, then put them all together to get Haley when she has her temper tantrum.

So the boys sigh and reluctantly put in the movie so as not to ruin Christmas by having a screaming banshee in the house, and I watch as Haley talks to Sam excitedly about the movie while Sam just stares at her with big eyes until he finally relaxes, and soon enought those two are bonding like they've been best friends forever. Ah, the days when everything was as simple as that.

We all settle down to watch the movie with only slight awkwardness when Serena ended up squashed next to Andrew on the couch (not that he minded), and when Amy chose to sit on the floor with Sam and Haley rather than sit next to Noah on the loveseat so he ended up next to Jake.

I sigh contentedly as Collin brushes my hair with his fingers in a comforting way, and watch a very cute Andrew Garfield walk across the screen. Of course, he has nothing on my boyfriend, but then again, who does? Collin is gorgeous in a way that shines from the inside out and makes you feel warm and beautiful with just one look of his sultry green eyes. I am one lucky girl.

I don't even realize that I fall asleep until I'm shaken gently.

"Bambi wake up," I hear him whisper softly. I open my eyes and look at him curiously.

"Did you just call me Bambi?"

"Yes," he says mischievously.

"Why?"

"Because I've been trying to find the right nickname for you, and then I remembered how beautiful your eyes are. Big, blue eyes that remind of Bambi."

I smile goofily, still ridden with sleep but awake enough to appreciate how sweet he's being. I hug him close and take the opportunity to smell that amazing cologne of his. He laughs.

"Are you sniffing me?" He asks, amused. I smile again and nod again, and he brings his arms around me tightly until I'm cocooned in a world of warmth and wonderful smells.

Our lovely moment, however, is interrupted by a blowhorn that makes us spring apart and makes me fall of the couch in fright. I get up rubbing my aching butt, and look across the room where Hale and Hayden are falling over each other laughing.

"Haha, very funny."

They nod and laugh some more until they're calm enough to only rub the silent tears out of their eyes.

"Man, that was epic!" Hale tells me as he crosses over to where I am to put an arm over my shoulder which I promptly bite and he takes it off yelping. "Seriously, though, we don't like mushiness in this house, especially not from our honorary little sister. You think it's all fun and games until you come running in saying you're pregnant, and then I'm sent to jail for murdering him."

I blush bright red, and Collin looks like a deer stuck in headlights.

"Hale! There is none of that happening!" I yell at him completely flustered and angry at him and my darn Irish ancestors for giving me such blushable skin.

"That's what they all say in the beginning." Hayden says as he crosses his arms in front and glares at Collin who begins to look a little nervous. I would be too; those are some big muscles.

I sigh in frustration and grab Collin's arm, pulling him to the kitchen where I hear laughter. When we enter, we see Anna stirring a pot of her famous hot chocolate, Haley and Sam playing on her phone (yes, a six year old has a phone; she has overprotective parents), and Amy sitting on a stool in the island in the middle of the kitchen laughing with Serena while Noah texts on his phone with an utterly bored look on his face. When he sees Collin, he jumps up with a relieved look on his face.

"Finally! Some male company that's not one of the boys that want to murder me out there. All I've heard for the past thirty minutes is why high tops are better than heels, and what designers they like. I'm begging you, Coll, get me out of here!"

We all laugh and Collin and Noah leave to some unknown place. I walk over to Haley and Sam.

"Hello kiddos, you guys getting along?" I ask. They nod.

"Yeah! We're the bestest friends now." Haley says proudly. Sam nods in agreement, and I feel like pinching their cheeks at how cute they are.

"Well I'm glad! I'm going to go talk to Anna, ok?"

They nod and go back to their game, and I go over to Anna who's served the chocolate in her mugs and is beginning to add whipped cream, chocolate sauce, and m&m's.

"Hey Anna, do you think you guys would let me sing a song I wrote before I go home for the night?" I ask hesitantly. She smiles as she finishes and wipes her hands on her apron.

"Of course you can, love! We'd adore to hear that. What a nice Christmas treat!" She answers excitedly.

I laugh at her enthusiasm, and we grab the chocolates and some crusty french bread and head over to the living room where Amy has gotten everyone to settle down. I wipe my hands on my leggings nervously and grab my guitar, then stand in front of everyone, waiting for their attention. Once they've all settled down and look at me expectantly, I begin.

"So this is a song I wrote on the way here, and it's mostly just feelings I've had over the past week that I wanted to sort out. It's called So Long."

I clear my throat and begin to strum.

I used to daydream that I could be free
And far away from all the pain in this world
A little understanding
A hand to hold me
I was wrapped up in my doubt
But all that changed when you came around

[Chorus]
So long all that lonely living
That something that was missing isn't missing anymore
So long to the way that wasn't working
And the hurting that was all I knew
It's all gone so long as I have you

Still have the hard times when nothing's going right
Just wanna pull the covers over my head
You gave me a new perspective
When the days get heavy and I feel rejected
There's someone to run to
Since the day that I found you

[Chorus]
So long all that lonely living
That something that was missing isn't missing anymore
So long to the way that wasn't working
And the hurting that was all I knew
It's all gone so long as I have you

So long to the mornings without meaning
The nights without sleeping
I'm right where I belong

[Chorus]
So long all that lonely living
That something that was missing isn't missing anymore
So long to the way that wasn't working
And the hurting that was all I knew
It's all gone so long as I have you

I finish, and everyone claps loudly, especially the boys who begin to whistle and yell out how how much they loved it until Anna slaps them all on the back of their heads telling them to stop acting like barbarians. I thank them all, and sit on Collin's lap with my chocolate in my hands. He wraps his arms around me comfortably as we settle in to hear the boys tell stories of past Christmas'. And as I listen and laugh and have a great time, I can't help but feel like something is missing. It isn't until I've gotten home after many goodbyes and a sweet and tender kiss goodbye from Collin in the car that I realize what it is.

It's Christmas, and I haven't seen my father for even a second. And that hurts so much. I thought all those years ago that I had only lost my mother, but that day I also lost my father to his grief. I barely see or talk to him, and suddenly, I can't take it anymore.

So I walk out of my room, and I pad down the stairs until I reach the kitchen where I see the faint glow of a candle. I get to the entrance of it and I see my father there, slowly eating a Christmas cookie with tears running down his cheeks as he stares down at a picture of my mother. It doesn't make me sad though, it makes me angry.

"I lost her too!" I yell at him. He looks over at me, suprised, then his eyes get their usual blank look again.

"Stephanie you should be asleep."

"NO! You don't get to tell me when to fall asleep, or anything for that matter. You lost any right to be my father. And you know why dad? Because when I needed you the most, you were gone. You left me alone to deal with my grief, and I was only eight! Christmas passed dad, and we never saw each other, not even once, and it's like you could care less. You don't know a thing about who I am now, or even that I have a boyfriend who I'm already falling for. Well, I'm ending this right now. This house is suffocating me with its never-ending silence and vast rooms that are never filled with anything but fake people. I'm moving out and into the Jameson's house in the New Year where I'm actually wanted. If you want to have some semblance of a relationship with me, you'll have to do it from scratch and without me here, because I'm done."

I finish my rant, and my father just sits there with a wide eyed look of confusion and shock. I sigh and shake my head, and leave, quietly now, to my room to get some sleep. 2016, here I come.

**

A/N: *Ducks behind brother* *whispers: hit him not me!* Hey all, it's been quite a long time, and I truly am sorry. AP World is kicking my butt, midterms were this week, I got a cold... the list goes on and on. My updates won't have a set time anymore, because chances are I won't make those deadlines. Sorry guys! Anyways, on to better subjects!

Did you like the chapter?

What was your favorite part?

What do you think of Stephanie's decision?

What do you anticipate to happen next?

Oh! And would you guys comment here if you can think of a good nickname for Collin?

Thank you so much for all your support! I love every vote and comm I get, they really motivate me to keep going. Love you guys, Vaarwel(farewell in Dutch)!