The Confrontation - Cassie Cassadaga

I looked around the room and realised that there were only five people in there. Where is the last fellow? I thought there would be six of them?

Ian spoke again, “Please, let me introduce you to our leader.”

When he said those words I could see a man walk through the door behind Ian. His hair had a new blend of silver grey mixed in with the blonde, he looked older and shorter than I remembered but I still knew exactly who he was. It was him, it was my father. He was here, he was the leader of it all. Why hasn’t anyone told me? Why do I always have to find things out? Why do they keep all these secrets?

The moment felt like a movie, which someone had just muted the sound on. I could hear my heartbeats echo through my ears. I felt my body moving without my control. I was suddenly rushing down the stairs, trying to remove myself from the situation as quickly as I could.

~*~

“Daddy, why are you leaving?” I was crying but he was packing his bags. Why was he leaving me, why was he leaving Mum? I didn’t understand. He sat down next to me on the floor.

“I’m sorry Cassie darling. Mum and I, we are working on different things right now. I have to go and work in New York and your Mum, she'll work here.”

“But why do you have to leave Daddy?” Mum was standing in the hallway. She walked over to us and lifted me up. I smelled her hair and hid my face in her shoulder.

“I think it’s time for you to go David.”

“Yes, I’m on my way Rosemary.” They both sounded so cold. I didn’t understand why Dad had to leave….

~*~

I was about to rush out through the main entrance when a voice broke me free from my memory, “One moment please, Miss Cassadaga.” It was Miss Walker, she was looking at me with slight panic in her eyes.

I walked over to her, “Yes?”

“Your father called down ahead, he would like to have a word with you in private before you leave,” her eyes where almost pleading. She is afraid of him, if I leave without talking to him… She might get in trouble for not being able to stop me.

“Okay, I will wait for five minutes. If he is not here by then I am leaving.” I will wait for a little bit, just so she won’t get in trouble.

She nodded and started to make a number of quick and short phone calls. Within minutes I could see him striding down the marble steps, as soon as I laid eyes on him I could feel the anger bubble up inside of me.

He walked up to me, looked at me for a second and then spoke, “I didn’t mean to surprise you Cassie. But I would have hoped that you would have stayed so you could talk to me and not just run away.”

“You left me and you left mom. So why should I stay for you?” My words hit him in the face like a slap. I could see him flinch from the hard words but I didn’t care.

“You know that I’m sorry about that Cassie. The situation was just so much more complicated than that. I didn’t leave you because I didn’t care. The situation between your mother and I was complicated. We both agreed that it would be best for you to grow up with her in Pennsylvania, that it was better than being with me in New York.” Okay maybe this is the truth but when she died, he wasn’t there. Why did he desert me like that?

“What about her funeral and after that? Why didn’t you come for me? Why did you just leave me?”

He looked wounded, “I started looking in to her murder. I realised the connection to the Lieberman Corporation and I tried to carry on the case. If you had lived with me you would have been put in danger. I didn’t come to the funeral because I didn’t know how to explain to you that you where better off living with your Auntie where you were safe.”

“So you left me to protect me?” I said it as if it was the most ludicrous thing I had ever heard.

“I just wanted to protect you. This was the best way I knew how to do it. But then you came here, you became an ASA. We felt like you had to know, that we had to include you in The Society. I just wanted to make sure that you were ready first.”

“So first you left me, not being a parent to me when I grew up and now you think that you can make parental decision about what I should or should not know?” This is it. I can’t believe that he’s the one that’s held everyone back, making them wait for me to figure out stuff. He’s the one that’s made Ian and Mr. Rosenthal lie to me. They care and only wanted what was best for me. He’s the one that’s kept everything from me. He’s the one that left me all my life.

“I don’t have to have this conversation with you,” and with those words I stormed out the building, leaving him standing in the reception area.

When I arrived home I was still steaming from the argument, walking around in the kitchen pacing back and fourth. I can’t believe that my father is part of The Society, that he is the leader of it all. Typical of him to put a gag order on everyone else and expect to waltz in and assume that I’m going to be fine with him.

I sat down at the table, tapping my hands against the surface. Let’s try to look at this rationally, he is my father some of what he is saying might be true. But why should I trust him? He left me, he never came back for me and he never saw a reason to explain himself not even when I grew up. What if I hadn’t become an ASA would have just left me in the dark?

As the night wore on, I was still sitting at the kitchen table unable to move with the thoughts spinning in my head. My initial flurry of anger and resentment towards my father had left me as had my second wave of conviction that I should immediately withdraw my involvement in The Society. If I leave, I will just silently agree to whatever my father decides to do. I don’t know him and I don’t trust him. I still have to work the Broffman case and the information that The Society has gathered over the years might be what I need to win. I owe that much to my mother.

I finally got up from the table, starting in zombie like movements to get ready for bed, my mind was still miles away from the actions of my body. If I continue on as a member in The Society, I will be a constant reminder to him. A reminder of the child he abandoned. He isn’t going to get away with that so easily now. I’m not a child that can be left behind anymore. He needs to realise what he did and I need to find out more about The Society. I need to understand why my mother and apparently now my father too decided to start this whole business up in the first place.

I was hunched over my desk at work, having been the first person in the office arriving so early that I met the night shifts security guards yawning at the barriers in the entrance. I had to throw myself back into the Broffman case, there was so much work to do and especially as I would have to deal with the Baltimore murders as well. My strategy had been to arrive early so I could get myself familiar with the cases without anyone observing me, should the cases affect me visibly. By now it was closer to lunch and I had been so absorbed in my work I hadn't even notice that the office had steadily filled up and that the sound levels had slowly risen. Now however there was someone standing by my desk, shifting from side to side and slightly clearing their throat as a gently nudge for my attention. I looked up and saw Joe, his face looked troubled and sad, as if he was on his way to deliver news to me that would upset me.

"Yes?" I didn't mean to sound so formal but the morning of pouring through reports had seeped its way into my tone.

"I'm sorry to bother you Cassie. But we haven't spoken since..." Joe broke off, unsure of how to finish his sentence. That's right I haven't spoken to him since we had that argument in the staff-room. I had nearly forgotten about that...

"I just wanted to ask if you wanted to go for lunch today. I know you're busy with your case right now. But I thought that maybe, over lunch we could talk ... Talk about what happened?" Joe looked at me with nervous anticipation as if my response could destroy everything. All I really wanted to do was to return to my reports, I had so much to do and the date for the Broffman trial was forever dwindling closer.

"Sure," I nodded and returned my gaze to my work.

I could hear that Joe was pleased, a smile was most defiantly gleaming on his face, "Great." My eyes were still buried in my notes, but I could hear his great strides as he walked across the room to his desk.

Over the course of the morning, I was starting to get a grip of all the details of the Baltimore murders, it was a devastating and impactful read especially knowing that one of the victims had been my mother. I tried extremely hard to remain distanced and objective, which made me completely unaware of what was happening around me. Yet again Joe had to clear his throat to gain my attention, I looked up at him feeling as if someone had just snapped their fingers and pulled me out of a daydream.

"Ready for lunch?" I got up and grabbed my handbag and coat instead of replying.

We were walking down the street towards our regular lunch spot, though it had been ages since we had been there. I was still wrapped up in my casework, in the same fashion a dream will still be wrapped around you like invisible cotton in the first few hours after waking up.

"Here we are...," Joe held up the door to the little restaurant and I realised that my silence must have been unsettling to him, making him overcompensate with an extra relaxed manner and jovial tone.

We sat down, ordering our regular choices and as we were waiting for the food I found myself staring out of the window. So much has happened... There is so much work to do, both with the Broffman case but also with The Society. I have so much that I still need to learn…

“So, how have you been?” Joe sounded very tentative, as if he was treading carefully with his words.

“I’ve been okay. It’s just been a lot lately.” Almost too much, it’s like time is rushing by but the day staying the same.

“I just wanted to talk to you… It’s been a while since we spent some time together?” I was only half listening to Joe, distanced from the conversation as I was completely distracted by what was going on in my own life. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry.” I looked back at Joe, his apology had come from out of the blue and peaked my attention. Why is he sorry? “I’m sorry for our argument in the staff room the other week. I was out of line and I shouldn’t have come at you like that.” I looked at him, to me this was very puzzling. Why would he still be dwelling on that. It was ages ago, so much more dramatic and important things have happened since then. Well, so much has happened to me since then.

I started to realise that I’d completely forgotten about my argument with Joe, in the whole storm of things that had been flung at me it looked insignificant and trifle. But to him, it must still be one of the most pressing and dramatic things that has happened.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s long past now.”

“I’m sorry, it’s not my business who you choose to spend time with. I shouldn’t have said all of those things. I was completely out of line,” He persisted with his apology. All of this insignificant drama just made me feel exhausted. I have far more important things to worry about, than this little petty argument with Joe. I might as well just move on and drop it.

I waved my hand gently as if to wave away his apology, "It’s fine Joe. It is what it is. Anyway, I guess it’s over now and that we can just move on from it.”

As we talked over our lunch I started to realise that the conversation felt miles away from my life. Joe was happily chatting on about his case and how we should go for drinks. I felt like it was a million years since my life was that simple and uncomplicated. In fact, my life was very similar to his just a couple of weeks ago but since then everything has changed.

It’s almost like we live on two different planets. He can happily worry about normal stuff where I have to worry about my absent father using the power of The Society for his own purposes and how to best prosecute the man who arranged my mothers murder. It’s almost like The Society has made it harder for Joe and I to be friends. We are so different now, but in his eyes we are still just as similar as we always used to be.

Joe realised that I’ve drifted off again, “Are you sure that you are okay? You know that I’m really sorry.”

I smiled back at him, not quite managing to muster as much enthusiasm as I would have liked, “I’m fine. It’s just been a long day…”

What did you think of the conversation between Stern and Cassie? How you feel about Joe's apology?

In the next chapter Ian and Cassie meet up again for the first time, since she stormed out of the fellows room...

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