Danielle's voice roused me late in the afternoon. "Richard is on his way to see you."

I groaned and got up. I realized I'd been in my bed for almost a full 24 hours. How pathetic. I stood up and walked gingerly over to the full-length mirror. My skin wasn't raw anymore, but it was still sensitive and there were little areas that had scabbed over where I'd broken through the skin.

"Well, that's an attractive look," I grumbled.

"Danielle, can you please find me something long-sleeved but lightweight. I don't want Richard to see this." I surprised myself by saying please to her. I guess Louis' influence hadn't entirely worn off.

"Yes, ma'am."

I couldn't bring myself to shower or bathe again after the harsh punishment I'd given myself the day before. I just freshened up with an extra bit of deodorant and some perfume.

"Can you do my hair in one of those messy buns?" I asked Danielle.

"Sure thing."

She had chosen a light poplin tunic and some loose-fitting capris for me to wear. I slipped on some simple sandals and went to find Richard, who had undoubtedly arrived by now.

I saw him waiting at the bottom of the stairs as always. He looked a little surprised when he saw me. When I reached him, he kissed me on the cheek and said, "Your hair looks...different."

"It's called a loose bun," I told him dryly.

"Well, it looks like you just woke up."

"I did just wake up."

"It's...interesting. I might have to get used to that," he said with a wink.

I was relieved that he didn't have some major plans to fly us out to the Caribbean for the afternoon. I wasn't ready for an abundance of time with him just yet.

We went outside to the garden and we sat on a bench under a weeping willow. It was cool enough with the shade, but I didn't want to spend much time out there.

Richard took both of my hands and looked me in the eye. "Is everything okay?" He asked. "You seem kind of distracted."

"Tired," I said simply.

"Well, I'm happy just to be here with you. I've missed you so much."

I knew I couldn't echo his feelings, so I decided to kiss him. It was unorthodox for us to kiss so early in the day, but I'd been wondering, if I kissed him the same way Louis kissed me, maybe I'd develop some stronger feelings for him. Or I just wondered if his kisses would blow me away, the way Louis had.

I pressed my lips firmly against his and he responded by moving his mouth slowly over mine. I pushed deeper and slid my tongue out to tease him into opening his mouth. I didn't usually initiate french kisses, but he was very willing to let me do it this time. He seemed gratified that I was so interested in kissing today. He pulled me tighter, but he grazed one of my self-inflicted wounds from yesterday. I groaned in pain, which he mistook for a moan of pleasure. He stopped kissing long enough to pant, "Ashten" and then he dove back in.

I usually thought it was corny when people in the movies moaned and groaned while making out. In my experience, people didn't really do that. It was so weird and unnecessarily dramatic.

This kiss was deeper and more aggressive than any we'd shared. It wasn't unpleasant, but there weren't the kinds of fireworks I'd felt just a few days earlier. As he continued to kiss me, I started imagining that I was with Louis instead of Richard. That's when I felt that thrilling jolt of electricity. A little whimper escaped from the back of my throat, and Richard took that as permission to go deeper and farther. We started to really make out, panting and gasping in between kisses. I ran my hand up and down the front of Richard's shirt, feeling his well-defined body beneath the cotton.

With a little more boldness, I tried something that I had hardly ever imagined doing to anyone. I cautiously ran my hand firmly up and down Richard's thigh, finally gathering the courage to lightly brush against his crotch.

He moaned louder and then pulled my hand away, smiling. "You're getting pretty bold, you sexy little thing. What has gotten into you?"

I shrugged. "Being engaged has turned me into a new person, I guess."

"Well, we can't very well keep this up out here in broad daylight, but we need to plan some alone time together soon."

Shit. That went a little too well. It was much easier to kiss him when I imagined I was with Louis, but now Richard thought I was ready to sleep with him. Then again, it may not be a bad way to get through sex with him, if I could just imagine Louis instead, kissing me tenderly, moving purposefully over me, gasping my name...

"Ashten?" Richard was waving a hand in front of my face.

"Sorry," I said, looking at him. "What did you say?"

"I said that I'd like to see you again tomorrow before I leave. Can you get away for most of the day? I nodded. I felt a little better, just having kissed him. "But when I come back, maybe we should go away together. I'm sure your parents would approve, now that we're engaged. Perhaps my penthouse in Beverly Hills, just the two of us for a longweekend. What do you think?"

"Mmhmm," I smiled tightly. I wasn't sure I wanted this, but then again, I also knew I didn't want to marry Richard and now I had to. Might as well get it over with sooner rather than later. There wouldn't be anything special about waiting til our wedding night if I didn't love him anyway.

We got up to go back inside, but I stopped him. "Richard, do you love me?"

He looked perplexed. "Now that's a silly question. I asked you to marry me, didn't I? And I want to spend the rest of my life with you, traveling the world, attending fancy parties." He dropped his voice and leaned in to whisper in my ear. "Making love."

I nodded. I knew he was devoted to me, so I couldn't complain. At least I'd be marrying someone who was faithful.

After my time with Richard, I felt a little better, which was strange. Maybe I was learning to love him. Maybe Louis was just a fling and Richard was the more mature, established man I was supposed to marry.

I went to bed early that night, still a little groggy from the pain medicine I'd been taking. I took one more, just for good measure.

The dream I had that night was very hot, very sensual, and very much unexpected.

I unbuttoned my blouse while he watched me. I let it drop off my shoulders and began to undo the buttons on his shirt. His undershirt stretched tightly over his torso, showing every little bulge and indentation of his muscular build.

As I ran my hands over the soft cotton, I was rewarded by the twitches of his skin, the feel of his heart racing, the rise and fall of his chest as he panted with excitement.

Suddenly, he grabbed my hands away and yanked off his shirt. He moved back in and kissed me deeply, longingly. And then he skillfully removed the rest of my clothing. I laid on the bed, completely bare while I watched him undress for me. I'd never seen him naked, or any man for that matter, but it was electrifying to see every part of him.

He climbed into bed, dragging the blankets up over both of us. I could feel his hot skin, his racing pulse, his ragged breaths.

"Richard," I moaned. "Don't make me wait anymore."

I woke up abruptly, feeling very unsettled about the dream. Was it possible that I was finally ready to give myself to him, after all these years? I'd felt so natural being naked in front of him in the dream, but I didn't know if I was ready for that to happen in real life.

It was early morning, so I didn't go back to sleep. But that erotic dream stayed with me. I couldn't shake the intensity of it. I pondered on whether I was truly ready for this, having been so reserved with him up until now.

I took a shower and I explored a bit. Just touching myself in small ways made me think that sex could be really exciting. But when I thought about a man inside of me, I still shied away, even if it was Richard, the man I was going to marry.

But maybe the dream had been a sign. Maybe I was ready, and it just took some self-understanding to know that I really was meant to be with Richard. I was comfortable with him, for the most part, and it seemed appropriate that I would be able to give this one last part of myself to him.

As promised, Richard came to pick me up around mid-day. He had told me to dress for an afternoon and evening out.

When I climbed into his limo and laid eyes on him, I couldn't deny the fact that he looked smoking hot. He was wearing a basic white dress shirt, open just enough to tease me with a view of his chest, and tight, black jeans. He always wore the same cologne, but for some reason, it was much more inviting today. His dark brown hair looked a little shaggy over his eyes, but I could still see the bright blue peeking out from underneath the strands. 

"Wow! You look really hot!" He said, appreciating the fact that I'd found the courage to wear something a little more skimpy. I'd chosen a lacy bralette in a dark turquoise color, with a zip-up front. It was just short enough to show a sliver of my belly; I felt that I could safely show that much skin to fiance, but I threw a lightweight cardigan over it to cover myself in front of everyone else. Along with those, I'd put on a pair of super skinny jeans and my favorite summer floral pumps.

"Thanks. Not looking too bad yourself," I said as I leaned in for a light kiss, but he captured me and went straight for the good stuff. He gently pushed me against the soft leather seat as he deepened the kiss. I returned the favor by running my hands through his hair. We made out all the way to the airport, where we found his private jet waiting.

"Where is it this time?" I asked, "Paris again?"

"Not at all. I thought we'd try something new. We're going to Vegas."

I clapped my hands a little in anticipation. I'd been to Las Vegas with my parents a few times, but I was never old enough to gamble. And I'd never been there on a date with Richard. "Now, that sounds like fun!" I smiled.

He leaned in to kiss my neck. "I know you said you wanted to choose our destination the next time, but I hope this will be okay."

I was flattered, actually, that he even remembered that I had asked to choose our next destination.  "This will be perfect," I assured him.

We fooled around a little on the jet, too, and I was surprised to find that I was starting to enjoy it. Of course, Louis popped into my mind more than once as I remembered his kisses sending sparks throughout my body.

Maybe this is the best of both worlds, I thought. I have Richard, who will take good care of me. And I have Louis to fuel my fantasies.

When we landed in Vegas, there was another limo waiting to whisk us away. As much as I liked having the convenience of a limo always waiting at our beck and call, I thought a little about how nice it was to have Mr. Tomlinson greet us at the airport in Detroit with a welcoming hug.

We neared the strip, and I saw a yellow hot air balloon descending from the sky. It was close enough that I could see the people inside, laughing and waving. I turned to Richard in excitement. "Can we do that today?!"

He gave me a strange look. "A hot air balloon? Doesn't that seem kind of boring to you?"

"No," I smiled shyly. "Paris is boring because we've been there so many times. I've never been in a hot air balloon before!"

"Well, another time then," he said, patting my leg. Obviously, he had another plan.

We hit the casinos first. I'd always wanted to play some games in the casinos, even in New York, but I was too young until this year. I knew there were people out there who desperately hoped to win large sums of money, but I couldn't relate to that. I just wanted to have the thrill of winning, even if it was only a thousand dollars.

Richard taught me how to play the slots first. Then we played some of the classics - blackjack and roulette. And I watched Richard play some poker. I'd never liked cards much, but it was interesting to watch. I couldn't believe how much people invested in a simple card game.

Richard won quite a bit, and I lost quite a bit, so we evened each other out, not that either of us was playing for the money. But it was a fantastic afternoon.

We had dinner at a very nice Italian restaurant. From there, we walked down the strip, holding hands. It was strange that we didn't beckon the limo to take us to each new venue, but it was nice and relaxed. We came upon a craft brewery and Richard suggested we have a drink.

"Beer?" I asked, wrinkling my nose. I considered beer to be the poor man's liquor. And we obviously were not poor. I agreed anyway, and I was pleasantly surprised at the atmosphere. It was kind of a shabby chic look, which I realized I liked more and more. There were several large copper tanks where the beer was brewed on site. Then, of course, there was an immense menu of beer styles and flavors. Richard decided on a sampler, which would allow to taste ten varieties. The waitress brought us two enormous glasses of water, which I requested. I was fairly certain that I wasn't going to like this.

 He took a sip of the first one and handed it to me. I wrinkled my nose again. "Just try it," he coaxed me. 

I took a sip and I found it horribly bitter. I then chugged half my glass of water.

Richard was laughing at my reaction. "Didn't like that one, huh?"

I shook my head.

"Well, try this one, then. It's got a hint of raspberry."

"Raspberry. In beer," I said, not believing him.

"Oh, yeah, they use all sorts of ingredients to make different flavors."

I cautiously took a sip. It was a little sweeter than the first one. It was still quite bitter, but it had a little hint of raspberry, just like Richard said.

He made me sample all ten varieties, and then he ordered two very tall Pilsner glasses, a stout for himself and the raspberry one for me. 

"You're crazy if you think I'm going to drink even half of this!" I laughed.

"We'll see about that."

I couldn't remember the last time Richard and I had so much fun together. Our dates always seemed so formal. I was happy to remember that we could laugh together. As we drank, we laughed and talked and he just seemed so much more relaxed than usual. Maybe engagement had really changed both of us somehow. It was quite unexpected, but I was thankful for the time we were spending together. 

He drank a few more glasses of beer while I struggled to finish one. I was pretty dizzy by the time we paid the bill, but not in an unpleasant way. 

After the brewery, I suggested that we go dancing. Now that I felt a little more confident, I wanted to show it off for my fiance.

"No, darling," he said. "You know I don't dance."

"It's never too late to start," I teased. "Come on, I'll teach you. I know a few things. Have you ever tried swing?" I begged, with a pout on my face.

"You've got to be joking," he said. "I couldn't imagine flitting around the dance floor like that. That's not my style at all."

"Well, then, how about slow dancing?" I asked.

He leaned in close to my ear, placing a few delicate kisses on my earlobe and along my jaw. "Darling, when I hold you that close, I want us to be alone." And so he convinced me that it was time to head home. 

And I was pretty certain that he had very specific plans for the flight back to New York.

* * * * *

So, after writing the previous chapter, I actually cried because I felt so bad for them. And I was really bummed out for the rest of the evening. But stick with me, please! Don't leave me over Louis' broken heart!!!