"I want to marry you. Tomorrow."

Louis leaned his head back against the couch, his eyes closed. I could tell he was frustrated.

"Well?" I asked.

"Why do you want to get married right now? I mean, I know one hundred percent that I want to marry you. But why does it have to be right now? It doesn't usually work that way."

"Because I want to do something my way for once!" I snapped. "I'm so damn tired, after nineteen years of people making every single decision for me!"

"Everything I've done has been about you," Louis said.

"I wasn't talking about you!" I snapped, climbing off his lap.

"But you are now," he said. "You're saying that I'm making decisions for you!"

"Well, you are!" I answered. "You're telling me that we have to wait to make all the plans for a real wedding when all I want is to be married to you!"

"I am not telling you that's how it has to be!" He shouted. I flinched a bit at the volume of his voice. "I asked why you didn't want to plan a big wedding and have your father give you away? It's called a discussion!"

"Discussion, my foot! It doesn't matter what I tell you, you're still going to push for the big church wedding and waiting for our wedding night." I said, with ridicule dripping from my voice.

He glared at me. "How dare you tell me that I'm doing something wrong! I want to be careful with you, to protect you and love you the way you deserve to be loved! And you say I'm just trying to withhold something from you? What? Like I'm only doing it to show you that I have power over you or something?!"

I clenched my jaw and huffed. "Maybe."

"Oh, come on, Ash! You can't be serious! I love you and maybe I don't know what's best for you all the time, but I'm trying! Don't tell me I'm not trying!" The anger flared in his eyes while he continued his defense. "I've been bending over backwards, trying to show you love and compassion, trying to help you heal from your shitty past, but damn it, Ash! I'm not a fucking psychiatrist! I don't always know what I'm doing, but I'm doing it all for you!"

"Ughgh!" I screamed. "You're not doing it the way I want it!"

He stopped and spit out a sarcastic little laugh. "Now there's the spoiled little Ashten I met at the beginning of the summer."

"Shut up! I am not spoiled!"

"The hell you aren't," he said with an ugly smirk on his face. "You just want everything to go your way."

"Yes!" I yelled. "I want to do things my way for once! What's wrong with that?!" I threw up my hands in defeat, preparing for his backlash.

But Louis simply said, "That's the problem, Ash. There are two of us now. You want everything your way, and you don't care what I want." With that, he stalked out of the room, not giving me time to respond.

I had nothing to say in response to that anyway.

He was right. Of course I had to make decisions with him, not against him. I fell dramatically back onto my bed. Why did love have to be so complicated? I realized that it had been so easy to give in to Richard, let him make all the decisions and just sit back and go along for the ride.

Easy, but not satisfying.

I finally forced myself to get up and get my pajamas on. While I brushed my teeth and washed my face, I hoped that Louis would come back and climb into my bed. But he wasn't there.

I was disappointed. I was tempted to become depressed and give in to the idea that maybe Louis didn't love me anymore. But I stopped that thought in its tracks and laughed in its face. I knew he loved me and that he was committed to me. In fact, he had predicted this only a few days ago – that we would indeed fight again and that we would make up again. I still felt the discomfort of us being at odds, but I was no longer fearful that he didn't want me. I knew he did. And we would work it out in the morning.

I was awakened by the feeling of someone climbing onto the bed. I rolled over, happy to know that Louis had come to talk. But when I opened my eyes, I saw that he wasn't alone. Two chubby little hands accosted me as Izzy crawled up onto my body.

"Well, good morning, Izzy. Back so soon?" I giggled.

"Yeah," Louis smiled. "Carly asked if I could watch them while she does some Christmas shopping. She was wondering if you'd like to go with her."

"Will you be okay with both kids?" I asked.

"Niall's here. We'll do all right."

"Shopping sounds great," I said, while Izzy pushed himself up on my hip, trying to stand up on the bed. He fell over and Louis caught him. "But we need to talk, okay?"

"Of course," he smiled. Then he kissed me and I knew everything would be okay.

Izzy giggled and said, "Kiss!" He puckered up his mouth to kiss me and I let him plant one on my cheek.

"You were right," I told Louis. "I wasn't thinking about what you want."

He gave me a gracious smile and said, "Don't worry. We can talk about it later. Go get ready, Carly's waiting."

Carly drove us to the mall to start with our shopping expedition. I was getting used to the mall scene, and I liked many of the stores in this particular location. I had to start thinking about a Christmas present for Louis and I hadn't a clue what to give him. For my father, I'd always bought gold cuff links or maybe a Rolex here and there. Nothing too personal. Richard always gave me a specific list, so it was easy.

Louis was right. Everything he'd done for me was from the heart, so I wanted to find him a gift from the heart. I hadn't the slightest idea what that might be, but I prayed that I would find the perfect thing while we shopped. I asked Carly to keep her eyes open, too.

We strolled along and I asked, "So, have you heard from Harry?"

"Since yesterday?" She laughed.

"Oh, right. Seems like it's been longer than that."

"Actually, he called me when he got back to New York. And we talked for three hours."

My jaw dropped open. "Three hours!?"

Her face spread into a wide smile and she nodded. "Oh, my gosh, Ashten, what should I do? I've never fallen for a guy this fast!"

"I get the feeling he's pretty solid. I mean, everybody goes through rough spots in their life, right? Louis had an awful time after his first girlfriend died, and he did some pretty heinous things."

She stopped and looked at me with surprise. "Louis' first girlfriend died?"

"Yeah, she was killed in a car crash. Awful, right?"

"That's terrible. How long ago was that?" She asked.

"Five years," I said, then started walking again towards Macy's.

"And then he found you," she said, squealing like a little girl. "You guys are so perfect for each other. I'm really happy for both of you."

"We weren't happy last night," I laughed. "We had a big old fight, but I think we're okay now, though. We're gonna talk tonight."

She didn't say anything for a few awkward moments, and I wondered why she clammed up all of a sudden. Then she just said, "That's nice."

We spent a lot of time in Macy's. She came across some adorable Christmas outfits for Mimi and Izzy, but she balked at the price tag. "Why do you have to take out a second mortgage just to buy some nice clothes once in a while?" She grumbled. "Moving on," she said, starting to walk away.

"Wait," I said, and she turned around. "Would you allow me to buy them?"

"Oh, no, Ashten, I couldn't ask you to do that," she said.

"You're not asking. I'm offering. I'd really love to. Louis and I feel so close to you and your kids. Besides, what's the point of having money if I can't use it to spoil my friends once in a while?" I said.

"Are you sure?" She asked with half a frown. "I'd love it, but you don't have to."

"I know I don't have to, but I want to. Now pick out their sizes and we'll keep shopping."

She happily chose the outfits in the children's sizes and placed them in her shopping bag. "Thank you so much," she said.

I was so pleased that I could do something nice for her.

We spent hours, browsing, talking, finding just the right gift. I found some great things for Veronica, Danielle, Niall and Zayn. I'd have to think of something I could send to Preston and I didn't have a clue about Liam.

Carly laughed at me. "I can't believe you're actually buying a Christmas present for Liam Payne! That's just surreal!"

"He's great!" I said. "And he's crazy about my best friend, so I think he'll be sticking around."

We decided to take a break for lunch. I'd been craving Greek food and surprisingly, we found a little stand selling gyros.

When we sat down, Carly asked, "So what were you and Louis fighting about last night?"

"It's kind of dumb," I laughed. "I just really want to marry him. Like right now. I don't want all the bells and whistles because that seems too much like what my mom would want, and I don't know. Is it selfish to say I don't want her to have the satisfaction? I'm just confused, I guess. I want to go to the justice of the peace, and Louis wants the dramatic proposal and a giant church wedding and reception...." I stopped and remembered the wedding in Michigan. "But, on the other hand, we did attend a gorgeous reception at a barn last summer."

"A barn?!" Carly cried in surprise.

I described the awesome décor and she agreed, saying she would love that kind of wedding, too.

"Maybe we can have a double wedding," I said, winking.

"No," she scoffed with a little smile. "We're not anywhere close to that yet." But I could tell the idea of marriage excited her.

"I just can't wait to have sex!" I said, and I could literally feel the color creeping onto my face.

"What?!" She yelled in a loud whisper. "You guys haven't had sex yet???"

"Don't announce it to everyone," I said, trying to coax the red out of my cheeks. "Louis wants it that way because I've been through so much drama," I said, waving my hands in the air. "He wants me to know that when we finally do, he's completely committed to me."

"Aww, that's so sweet," Carly said. "I can understand that."

"I know. He is really sweet. I just want to do things my way for once," I pouted.

"But you both have to be involved in a big decision like this," she said. "If you make all the decisions, you'll just be a domineering wife who has to have everything her own way. That doesn't make for a happy marriage."

And just like that, she dropped a bomb on me, without even knowing it: I was acting just like my mother. Manipulating, bending, coercing to try to get exactly what I wanted, how I wanted it, when I wanted it.

"Holy shit," I whispered.

"What?" She asked with a giggle. Then she took a sip of Coke while she waited for me to gather my thoughts.

"Nothing," I said, not wanting to get into a discussion about my mother. "I just know exactly what you're saying. I realized that last night after he went to bed. Like I said, we have to talk tonight. And just so you know, it's not all about sex. I'm just so excited about my new life with Louis since my old one sucked so much. I just can't wait to get started."

She smiled and we dug into the gyros. They were actually quite good for a fast food-ish type place.

I pondered on my new revelation all during the rest of our outing. I didn't want to be anything like my mom. But I grew up with her, so some of her attitude undoubtedly rubbed off on me. Also, I was so hell-bent on doing things my way instead of having everyone else run my life, that the pendulum had swung completely in the opposite direction. I was now the one trying to give orders and control everyone else.

After we'd shopped for a few more hours, but I was coming up empty-handed for Louis. Then Carly had an idea. "What about a scrapbook?"

"Never made one," I said.

"Well, I have a bunch of stuff at home. You could buy a scrap book and put together some pieces of your favorite memories with him. And pictures, of course. Louis seems like the kind of guy who would love that."

"I think you're right," I said.

We found a great somewhat masculine-looking scrapbook at Michaels, and then I went crazy on stickers and special papers. Carly said she had special glue and tape and scissors at her place so we could work on it together.

I still hadn't found a gift for Liam, but I figured I would just call Veronica and ask for ideas. Christmas was still two and a half weeks away.

When we got home, Louis and Niall were watching a kids' movie with two zoned-out children. They fussed a bit when Carly told them it was time to leave. We helped her get the kids bundled up and said good-bye. She tried to pay Louis for watching them and he said, "Absolutely not. The pleasure was all mine."

I hid my shopping bags in one of the spare bedrooms and told the guys not to peek. Then I plopped onto the sofa, happily exhausted from a great day.

Louis came and sat next to me. "So, we should talk, right?" He asked.

"Yep," I smiled. I was excited to tell him that I was ready to compromise, to accept that not everything had to be my way.

"Well, I want to tell you what I want for my birthday," he said.

Right. His birthday was December 24. At least I wouldn't have to rack my brain, trying to come up with another gift idea since he was going to tell me.

"Okay," I said, still smiling.

"But first, Niall and I have a song to sing for you."

"All right," I giggled. What were they up to?

Niall came out, guitar over his shoulder. Louis stood up while Niall strummed an opening note. The two of them sang the first two lines acapella, and their voices blended in perfect harmony.

Tell me you believe in love

It's not an illusion

I listened contentedly while they performed, a bit in awe of their combined musical skills. The song's lyrics were about a guy trying to convince a girl that his love is true and that she doesn't have to be afraid to fall for him. I wondered if Louis had written it. It sounded like our story a little.

When Niall sang the bridge, I smiled widely, knowing it had to be Louis' writing.

You can tie me up in chains

You can throw away the key

But there's no trap doors

I'm not gonna leave

You're the truth I can't explain

You're the only one I see

Its not an illusion to me

Louis sang the one line with Niall: "I'm not gonna leave". Then he winked at me.

When they finished the song, I jumped up and threw my arms around him. "Yes! That was amazing!" He kissed me, and then I hugged Niall after he put his guitar down.

"So, what does that have to do with your birthday?" I asked.

Louis led me by the arm and told me, "Sit down again and you'll see."

Niall left the room quietly.

And then Louis dropped down on one knee right in front of me.

"What?!" I sputtered.

"What I want for my birthday is for you to become my wife," he said. Then he reached under the sofa and pulled out a tiny blue velvet box.

I was holding my breath, my mouth hanging wide open as he revealed what was inside – a gorgeous diamond ring with little bits of lapis lazuli along the band.

I looked at him, then back at the ring, then back at him, still not breathing.

"Well?" He asked with a laugh.

Suddenly my throat tightened and I could barely speak. "You know the answer," I whispered. "I will very gladly give you what you want for your birthday. Of course, I will be your wife."

I practically fell off the couch towards him, kissing him frantically between tears and laughs from both of us. He sat back on his knees, reaching his hands to my face, receiving my kiss and holding me steady.

After a long while of just kissing and laughing together, he finally said, "I'm glad you didn't faint. Let me put this on your finger," he said, sliding the ring onto my hand.

"I told you I wouldn't faint," I said with my voice quivering as I inspected the exceptional ring.

Louis yelled, "Niall! She said yes!"

Niall came in with champagne. I stood up laughing as he handed the bottle to Louis and enveloped me in a hug.

"Congratulations, you two!" He said. "You're great together!"

Louis passed around the champagne glasses and we drank in celebration.

"Next, it's your turn," I said to Niall.

"Can't wait til she gets here. You guys have got me so excited."

"When does she arrive?" I asked.

"The twenty-second," he said, barely containing his enthusiasm.

He drank the rest of his champagne and left the room again.

Louis pulled me by the hand to sit with him on the couch. "So we still have to talk about some things," he said with a grin.

"First of all, how about you tell me how you managed to pull this off with two small children here all day."

"I bought the ring a long time ago," he said, his eyes crinkling with his smile. "When I went to Michigan to talk to my parents about Harvard. Once I made that decision, I went out and found just the right ring. Just like that. It was meant to be. And so were we." He kissed me again and then said, "Carly was in on it. I texted her late last night and asked if she could take you shopping just so Niall and I could practice the song and I could come up with my plan."

"You're so thoughtful," I said. "Really. I can't even compete with all of the wonderful things you do for me."

"It's a good thing it's not a competition," he said, leaning his forehead against mine.

"I'm sorry about being so pushy yesterday. I don't want to turn out like my mother, demanding that everything be done my way."

"I forgive you," he said. "But I thought of a way that we can both have what we want."

"Meaning what?" I asked, feeling very skeptical.

The words he spoke blew me away. "Let's get married tomorrow."

"What?" I giggled. "That's not what you want."

"I didn't finish. Let's go and get married at the courthouse tomorrow. And then, we can do the big proposal and church wedding and reception in a barn if you want. And we can take our time planning it all out and we won't have to get impatient because we'll already be married. And the best part," he said, lowering his voice to a whisper, "is that only you and I will know. It will be our secret."

"You're so weird," I laughed. "How would we keep that a secret?"

He gave me a duh look and said, "We won't tell anyone."

"So you're suggesting that we get married tomorrow – like TOMORROW – and don't tell anyone, but do the big wedding when we can celebrate with our family and friends? Are you serious?"

He nodded.

"I kind of like that idea," I said. "Except that I don't want to have to sneak around and keep secrets anymore."

"There's no sneaking around. We're already living together, right? But we'll be married and only we will know. Before, we were keeping secrets because you weren't sure how to break away. This time, we'll be keeping a secret because we can do anything we want to. And we want to get married!"

"Tomorrow?" I asked, feeling slightly lightheaded.

"Tomorrow," he answered.

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Sorry for another cliffhanger, but I'm almost done with the next chapter! :D