Three.
It took Mandy two weeks to talk to me again after I marked her and the only reason why she did was because I sat waiting near our parking spot at the apartment for her to get home from work. Thursdays Cam went on patrol with Owen when they finished at the shop and I needed to talk to them about keeping such a predictable schedule. Then again, we had done the same thing. Could any predators have been watching us then like I watched them now? Luke? Dominik? How could I have been so unaware?
Despite that, it was four on the dot when familiar sounds of my old car were heard coming down the street. Maybe I should ask Luke about getting her a new car, it was a sight for sore eyes but the mini was on its last legs.
Especially the way she drove it.
I didn't want to scare her, making sure I moved out from the shadows as she got out of the car and there it was again, that look that seemed to be haunting her from the day I marked her. I didnt know what it meant then, and I didnt know what it meant now but what I worried about most was the change in her appearance.
She didn't look like my Mandy.
Her eyes were red rimmed like she had been crying, puffy and tired. Her hair she had always kept clean and shiny was limp and flat, tossed into a messy bun at the top of her head and she looked like she lost weight if that was even possible on her tiny body.
"Lucy?" Shutting the door she bumped her hip on the side making sure it was closed and dropping the keys into her bag she suddenly ran towards me. Instantly the predator in me wanted to chase, but I clenched my fist focusing on the fact it was Mandy, my family and the one I swore to look after like I always had.
"Hey Manda" She gripped onto me in the way a child held a teddy and instinctively my arms went around her returning the gesture.
I missed her.
"God I miss you" She was crying now, trembling against me.
"I miss you too" I rubbed her back soothingly; hating the fact I had tears in my own eyes.
I really missed her.
"Come inside" She finally let me go, wiping her eyes she sniffed as she took a deep breath and smiled at me linking her arm in mine as if there was nothing wrong with the whole situation. But really, was there?
Going up to our apartment we stayed silent and as she opened the door nothing had changed as I glanced at the light which was still flickering down the end of the hall. She walked inside and I hesitated but the electricity in the air that blocked me from entering other homes uninvited wasn't there.
The mark.
Just like Dominik had been able to do with me, I didn't need to be invited in here but the more I hesitated walking in the more I started to feel that charge that kept me away.
"You can come in Lu, I just thought cause Dominik didn't need to be invited in you wouldn't either" She hung her jacket in the closet, frowning as I still didn't move to go in.
"Do you trust me, to come in?" There was no Luke, Owen or Cam to act as mediator should I give in to the urge and she would be at my mercy. I hadn't been back here in all the time I had been changed and the memories were more painful than comforting.
"Of course"
"We've never been alone since it happened" Our alone time was only by the phone or skype. If she visited, Luke was in always in his room or outside and if we were at Owens warehouse well obviously they'd all be there. Even if we were out someone was always close by too.
"I know but Lu, I trust you to come in" She held out her hand just inside the door, trying to lure me in and putting mine in hers I let her lead me in. The house was filled with Cams cologne and Mandy's own scent, which made me realize I had been long since wiped out of here. The furniture was still the same, the décor unchanged and as she went into the kitchen I was drawn to my old room. Some pictures were still on the walls, my bed was still the same but where my wardrobe used to be sat a computer desk and Cams Night Watcher things filled the space.
"I didn't want them to move you out, I really miss us" Mandy stood holding a cup of tea in the doorway and while I had yet to crave or want anything humans consumed, being able to sit down with a warm cup to chat had me wanting it. I knew I'd be sick if I did but I felt so awkward without one in my own hands.
"I know but it was for the best. And you have Cam now" I hated how factual my voice sounded, void of emotions like it didn't matter. But it mattered, more than I'd ever admit to her.
"Yes but it's not the same" She could see me staring at her cup, "Did you want one?"
"Hot water?" She nodded and I left my room behind. It wasn't my room now anyway which only added to how surreal it was being back here. I always kept fresh flowers in the kitchen but there was none here now. Despite Mandy hating them it added life to the otherwise drab space and while it had been a couple of years, walking in left me thinking of when Michael and Joe had broken in. I shivered, looking away as she handed me the cup of warmth and we moved into the lounge room.
I felt better holding the cup, I felt more human.
"So I hadn't seen or heard from you since.." I held up my own scared wrist and she sipped her tea quickly. "I wouldn't have done if it was going to end up being the final nail in our coffin"
"There is no coffin Lu, it took me a couple of days to recover. A week really. Cam wanted me to go to the hospital and he was pissed we did it. It took awhile to get better after Nik did yours to be and it hurts sometimes, more if I think of you"
"I should have told you that," I admitted feeling guilty as I remembered the pain. I had actually forgotten that side of it until she bought it up.
"Did you put up with it too?"
"Yeah. If it feels like it's burning too much, cold water helps. Apparently its when we want to feel for each other. If I think about you intensely, like in a really high risk situation it'll burn like your arm is about to fall off. I don't know what I'll feel when that happens to you but Curtis said if I close my eyes and focus I'll get visions of what's around you. It's really like a glorified personal security system"
"I'm glad. I don't mind. To live with it for all those years not knowing or understanding makes me wonder how you did it! If I didn't know anything about it I'd be freaking out!" She smiled, trying to offer me some kind of comfort but I only nodded. I didn't want to tell her that thinking about mine, about Dominik, still made it burn. Curtis told me now I was changed the mark was nothing but a normal scar and while the pain was nowhere near what it was like before, it was an ache in my wrist that I wasn't sure would ever leave.
We talked for hours, it was different being able to speak so freely in person. We never kept anything from each before and it felt as if we were catching up on the last two years not the last fortnight.
We both needed it.
She told me everything about her and Cam, the store and apologized for Owen. He had changed too since that night and I knew it had to be because now he had something to be ashamed about with us. We knew his secret, not just that he was a werewolf but what he did as one too. Just thinking about it made me touch my stomach and Mandy noticed but kept quiet.
And then I finally told her about Curtis.
"I really thought something as going on with you and Andre. He is a little odd hey?"
"Yeah but he is nice enough once you get to know him"
"Its good you have Luke watching out for you. To think you used to say you couldn't trust a vampire" She said it as a joke but I was back to being serious.
"You cant. Now I'm one of them and know how I think and feel, you really can't trust us"
"Maybe not the vampire but I know I can trust the person who is still inside" Before I could warn her against that too, we stopped talking as her phone rang and I realized it was nearly ten o'clock. Patrol finished at eleven and I didn't want to risk any run ins. "Hey Luke, yeah she's fine"
I shook my head as if to deny that I was here and she nodded. Sneaking out wasn't going to help his control issues over me right now and the fact I left my phone at home would only make them worry. I hadn't thought about Luke or Curtis when I left, the urge to see Mandy had taken over everything else just like the need to feed.
"Calm down. No she is not here but" She gave me thumbs up before quickly frowning. "An attack?"
That got my attention and I leant forward trying to hear Luke on the other end of the phone with no luck.
"Ok. Yeah..... I lied ok? Don't even start! Look, I'll get her to wait" She hung up and sighed as I curled my legs up underneath me on the sofa.
"There was another raid at that nightclub for vamps. It's some new vigilante group called the Slayers and he was worried you'd be there. He and Curtis are coming now to get you"
"Shit" They were going to loose it knowing I came without a chaperone and snuck out to do it.
"Don't worry, I think they're just glad you're ok" She took my now cold cup of water and put them in the sink. "I'm really happy that you found something with Curtis. He is pretty cool and you seem happy. Dare I say a little in love?"
"Not in love" I quickly corrected, moving to the window the street was empty.
"You don't have to be the hero, the strong girl with her walls always up and ready for a fight Lu. You did enough of that as a human, you have eternal life - so live. You'll have hard times and good times, it's just a fact of life but if anyone can deal with it I know it's you"
"Anytime I've let someone in, they've gotten hurt. Or killed" Dominiks words of 'you run, I kill' came to mind like a ghostly whisper and I shook my head trying to clear it away. "And look where it got me! Hell my own parents don't even talk to me anymore. Why put myself through more pain?" I demanded; hating the fact those walls she mentioned were now crumbled all around me, the only person I'd let see in.
"Because it's worth it and you know it. Trust me the way you were just talking about him, you'd be stupid not go for it"
"But go for what? We have sex. We talk and can pretend to date to then lead to something more but that's it. There is not point in marriage; there is no family to plan for. You get married, you have babies, they grow - you grow old and die. It's a cycle that gives you a purpose" I never missed being human more in that moment and I knew Dominik had said something along the same lines to me once before.
"Because you are still human. The vampire doesn't define you and as a human we're not meant to live alone. We need that interaction, to feel loved and safe"
She was right.
"But I thought you were going to stop going for older guys?" We both laughed, real deep good for the soul kind of laughing and we had tears in our eyes when we finished.
"I love you Mandy, I don't know what I'd do without you" The sad fact was, there would be a time I would have to face the world without her. We talked about her changing but unless something monumental was happening, she had no intention or desire to be changed.
I hadn't ether. I had wanted death.
You don't always get what you want.
"Love you too Lu, always"
Before long I was in the back of Luke's silent car and no one said anything the whole way home. After my conversation with Mandy I wanted nothing more than to be with Curtis, she was right. No one wanted to be alone and I needed to just enjoy it while I had it.
"Lu, a sec?" Luke didn't leave his car as Curtis and I started towards the elevator. Here it was, the lecture I knew was coming. Curtis kept walking as I turned back to Luke. "I'm going out. I need to check on a few things about what happened tonight. Please don't go out again"
"I wont, be safe" I hugged him, thankful that he didn't actually seem upset about my missing persons act. Heading up to our floor Curtis was taking off his jacket when I entered and I came up behind him, slipping my arms around his waist and leant against his back while his hands entwined in mine. His hearts steady rhythm echoed in my ear while his cologne surrounded me in that comforting way that made me feel so warm inside.
"How is Mandy?" He knew I had wanted to talk to her, last week I had a freak out about why she hadn't contacted me but I don't think he expected me to go and see her.
"Good, she looks different. Older" By the time I left her old spark seemed to be there and I had no doubt she had been crying for us. It hadn't been 'normal' between us since I changed, but I had a feeling that could change even if I now had to plan my visits around everyone's schedule so we could be alone and just us.
"It's been a tough couple of years for both of you but I promise it will get easier. Not right now but one day" He pulled my arm so I twisted around to face him.
"I know. Just wish Cam and Owen wouldn't make it so hard" The thought of killing them crossed my mind but that would only hurt her more.
"Time can heal a lot of wounds"
"What do they need to heal? It was my life that was taken not theirs. They get to carry on like normal while I am stuck dealing with it all" I sounded like a spoilt child, selfish in my thoughts and feelings but I didn't care enough to try and change it. I still had yet to work out my anger from the vampires, the two often collided sending me off in random fits of rage. It didn't happen so much now but in the begining I was beyond bi-polar.
"Think about it from Owens point of view" He kissed my forehead, my cheek, my neck and finally my lips as I melted against him. "He protected you girls, dogs are loyal like that and he failed in keeping you safe. Plus he attacked you too. When we found you guys, you were barely hanging on; you stopped breathing in his arms while I freed Luke. You're just another weight on his mind like his family only your still walking around to remind him of it"
"I hate that you're right" Pity for what he had to deal with over took my anger.
"Get used to it, I usually am" He teased, letting me go he headed over to my phone which was on the kitchen bench. "Don't go out without this. Ever"
Taking it off him I looked at all the three missed calls and five text messages, surprised to find four of the messages were from Owen telling me about the raid, asking if I was ok and to call him so he'd know.
He did still care.
"Luke?" He answered in barely one ring and the worry in his voice made me smile.
"No, it's me"
"Thank God. You're ok?" I nodded and he chuckled slightly, a sound he never offered to me anymore. "I cant see you nodding"
"Right. I'm fine"
"Ah Luke's just pulled up, glad you guys are ok"
"Thanks Mr. Stevenson"
"No worries Miss Dames"
I hung up to find a part of me returning that I hadn't noticed was missing. Mandy and I were ok; Owen still cared. Smiling I put down the phone to see Curtis leaning against the wall watching me amused.
"What?"
"Being happy suits you" I poked my tongue out as I walked past him into the bedroom, taking my shoes off and glancing behind me he had come in too. I made a show of taking my pants as his gaze darkened. "Don't start what you can't finish Lu"
"You should know me better than that by now" Taking off my jacket I didn't hurry in doing the same with my tank top, freeing my hair out of its ponytail and shaking it loose down my back I felt him coming over. His presence filling the room, I had never wanted him more. The second I felt his fingers tips brush down my arm I shrugged him away.
"Really?" He asked more in disbelief and I had to laugh, turning to face him he was practically pouting.
I pushed him down onto the bed, crawling on top of him to strip him down to the same level of cover I had.
"I am so lucky to have you" I whispered into his ear as he licked his lips in anticipation of what was next.
"Yeah? Whys that?" He asked, trying to keep unaffected by the way I was trailed kisses across his collarbone.
"Because you're kind, patient..."
"Don't forget ridiculously good looking"
"Well....." His hands grabbed my waist, throwing me beside him on the bed as he towered over me, his hands poised and ready to unleash hell.
"Say it"
"Never" His attack of tickling was without mercy and despite trying to wriggle free I was stuck suffering, gasping for breath as I caved. "Fine fine!"
"What was that?"
"You're good looking!"
"Just good looking?"
"Ridiculously good looking" His kiss was soft on my lips as my breathing was still out of control. "That was really mean, I take back the kind part"
"God you're beautiful" He sat up looking at me as if it was for the first time and there was no denying the connection that had formed between us. My cheeks pinked under his gaze, something was changing now. The exposure went further just our bodies; he was seeing all of me - emotionally, physically and with that he knocked down the last of my walls. "I think I could love you"
He held my gaze, waiting to see how I'd react to his admission and I took to long to respond. He frowned, his body tensing to move away I reached up and grabbed his shoulders not wanting to loose him. "I know I could love you"
This was so much different than the other times, familiar yet completely new as we moved together. It was intense, any thing I asked for he obliged and I followed all his leads to the point where we became completely lost in each other until there was no more denying the inevitable and we finally satisfied the ache that had built up with the heat of our activities. I lost control, sounds I couldn't contain erupted as my body felt like it was about to explode and his cries matched my own.
"That, that was intense" We stayed together enjoying the after effects of the ecstasy we had shared and damp with sweat I could only nod. Every limb was relaxed, my body totally spent I felt like I could sleep for a year and I'd still need time to recover. Curtis finally rolled over onto his back keeping me against him as if he let me go it would mean that hadn't been real. But he didn't have to worry; I had no intention or ability to move anyway.
"I mean it though, I really like you," I muttered, sleep was calling and I yawned into his shoulder as I felt him moving to bring the sheets up to cover us.
"I know. I really like you too"
It didn't matter that from the outside there wasn't a point to our relationship. Marriage would rarely be such an eternal thing. There was no way to have kids and watch them grow. We wouldnt be able to die old gracefully together but inside, there was more than a point.
Like Mandy said, no one wanted to be alone and that was enough for us.
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Should I end it there? All happy and soppy and ....... Naaaaa I dont think so!
>>> Pic of Mandy
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