(⚠️ Chapter Touches Sexual Assault/Abuse)

While in the car, Tammy thinks about what Amber said and the kiss with Alexei. She should at least consider her options. There is never harm in being prepared. However, Tammy should have taken Cookie's advice and learned to listen because she couldn't see options.

Tammy fights back the tears.

She is used to putting on a face that everything is fine when it isn't. This, however, is the most harrowing moment she's ever had to face to do so. It isn't easy to pretend, and sitting in the packed limo makes Tammy feel suffocated. Her thoughts continue to assault her as a glass of champagne is passed, which she accepts with a strained smile.

Even if Tammy wants to be rid of Mark, which she doesn't, it isn't an option. Alexei's instructions state to stay close to Mark. It isn't very appealing to find out what a guy who brands people does when disobeyed. Alexei is keeping his distance from her, but it makes no difference. Tammy feels Alexei around, even when not present.

Naturally, she is frightened of Alexei Smirnov, but it's not just because he's a gangster.

It's not just because he's off-limits dangerous, but Tammy feels things she's said she should never feel before. That kiss sealed her growing suspicion that there is an increasing attraction to Alexei brewing within her. Tammy begrudgingly admits that maybe in different circumstances, she may even find Alexei interesting, unique, and attractive.

That's not a romantic notion.

Tammy looks back on a time of her life, where, she was out of control. A moment took place that forever would change her life. At least, the one therapist Tammy did try to work with suggested, the moment was monumental. Tammy promised never to have anything like that time happen again. The life-changing moment all began with a throbbing ice chill excitement.

The excitement zinging and bubbly.

Alexei looks, in Tammy's general direction, from his peripheral, and the possibilities are simply thrilling.

The Men in the Limo all speak loud Russian, but not all the men are Russian. The men were all sophisticated and sleek, every male dressed in well-tailored, expensive suits and jewelry exuding quiet, sure-power, and wealth.

The women mainly were models, rail-thin. The women all look at her with amusement. Tammy does look very ordinary in the presence of the other woman. It doesn't make her feel less confident, but she thinks that maybe more time should have been spent getting ready. The majority of the women appear like expensive Dior perfume ads. They are glamourous and classic.

Tammy isn't the only woman of color.

The one model is Indian from India. There is a woman with a man, who is very cream-colored, with 4b hair braided into a low afro puff.

Tammy isn't tall, compared with the other women.

Looking around, she wishes she'd worn more makeup. A blush of embarrassment flushes her as she looks away from two of the women looking at her and speaking with smirks. Tammy feels a brush at her hand. Although Mark doesn't look at her, the action brings the intended comfort.

Tammy fights the urge to hold his hand, allowing their hands to rest next to each other. It has to be enough.

She focuses on breathing, peering down at her expensive shoes, before turning her attention to a source of heat, Alexei's smoldering blue eyes.
He stares directly at her. Tammy doesn't mean to but flinches internally when Alexei smirks, catching her gaze run all over his body.

Alexei is wearing a grey colored suit with a black turtle neck shirt beneath. His jewelry is sophisticated and streamlined from a gold rope chain, Swedish watch, the pinky branding ring. Alexei licks his lips, slyly, deftly twisting the branding ring. When his eyes focus on Tammy again, Alexei gives her a challenging look.

His platinum hair falls cleanly at his collar. It's all pushed back and held in place with pomade. Tammy thinks Alexei may have loose curly hair. Alexei definitely appears like some mythical warrior. The blonde next to him works to gain his attention. Tammy presses her hand closer to Mark's, very much not liking the heat of the moment.

Tammy uses Mark's physical touch as an anchor. She feels herself slipping to delve into deep, immersive fantasies. She needs to keep her head straight and seems impossible around Alexei Smirnov. What is it about him that seems to send her mind into the worst state she's ever seen it.

Tammy thinks back to the therapist she tried to see after the tragic college event and sighs. Maybe she has been hasty in dismissing the concerns or the professional. What if there are things wrong with her that she has no clue to?

Even to this day, Tammy avoids thinking about her ex boyfriend and what he did to her. He was truly her first boyfriend and Tammy trusted him, her family all but pushed the guy on her. He came from a great family and had a future ahead of him. However, this guy is also responsible for setting her up to be raped by several men so he could be accepted in a fraternity.

Tammy has been unable to see herself as the victim she is because the night of the assault she blacked out.

What Tammy remembers makes her feel as though she was apart of what happened. She still blames herself for sharing with the ex boyfriend the gangrape porn and orgy porn she'd found interesting, at the time. Tammy is sure that made him see her differently and he even said it's why he thought she would like what happened.

The only good thing that came out of the situation is that Tammy no longer watches porn, at all. However, she never completed therapy after the therapist tried to make her believe something more was wrong than just that rape.

Alexei

Alexei observes Tammy with quiet questioning.

His jaw clenches, witnessing Mark delicately handle Tammy. Alexei catches the way Mark's very fingertips seem to find pleasure in ways to smooth over her golden, and he now knows very smooth skin. The two appear besotted, and Mark is fawning over Tammy, following her like a lost puppy.

Tammy appears pretty beautiful, shy but not shrinking, and carries herself lovely. Alexei has to admit that the pair look very well. They compliment, and people are drawn to them.

Mark carries a natural air of confidence with Tammy, boldly ignoring the buzz of his date, to a high-profile event. The paparazzi take numerous pictures of the couple. Alexei is sure beautiful photos will be everywhere; by the time they get home.

Mark leads Tammy to a table, where finally, no one is looking to speak with them. Mark pulls out her chair, once again doing more than called for to have Tammy comfortably seated; before sitting close by, Alexei rolls his eyes. Tammy looks up, giving Mark a nervous smile.

The two of them, very much in their own bubble. Alexei's so jealous; he can't even think straight. Tammy is so much like Cassandra that he almost can't believe his eyes. How can Tammy be the woman to offer to betray Mark, allow himself to brand her, kiss him, and waiting for any random moment to cross Mark, and yet she seems authentic to be this woman in love with a man who appears to be ready to marry her.

Alexei believes that the two are in love even though the circumstances and both parties are fucked up.

They are stunning together, and everyone loves being around the pair. The pair work effortlessly together. Alexei admires the joy on Mark's face. He wonders what it feels like to have Tammy looking at him, the way she signals Mark with her eyes. The energy between them is electric.

Yet, he now knows what it feels like, and he's been drinking because he can't get that kiss out of his head.

Reminding Alexei of the private moment he'd witnessed between them and Envying the way Mark could allow himself to be abandoned and vulnerable with Tammy.
Even if Alexei gets the opportunity, the anxiety makes him sick. It is daunting to imagine something Alexei feels he wants too severely. He doesn't want to want her.

Alexei's felt this way before, and yet he doesn't feel much of the fear he felt the first time.

Alexei throws back the strong drink and turns his attention to his date, but his mind isn't focused. Tammy wants him too. For many reasons, Tammy is familiar, and that's because, Just like Cassandra, she's losing a war to make up her mind between who she wants between the two of them, himself and Mark.

Another reason Alexei's eye keeps finding her is when catching Tammy's eyes are on him. Tammy keeps looking him over and hoping not to be found. The more she looks at him, the more her skin flushes. Tammy almost appears to be overheating, and the reaction is flattering. Alexei can't believe she thinks he's that attractive.

Alexei doesn't think he's the most attractive man but accepts himself.

He's caught Tammy a few times, and now she likes him catching her stare. It's crazy she's flirting with him. It's incredible how almost out of control she seems to be of it. She can't be innocent in what she's doing. Tammy seems to be his exact type of woman, fucked up.

Alexei is jealous of Mark's happiness.

He hates the genuine smile he sees on Mark's face. He also is angry with the opinion he has to form about Tammy. Alexei is mad because he wants her and is trying to make excuses for Tammy offering to betray Mark. He's trying to make excuses for the sex he's seeing them have and hearing the words they say to each other.

It's been so long since Alexei just had to have someone.

Alexei has to make Tammy see why she should choose to betray Mark and be with him. It's crazy because everything screams not to like the woman she shows herself to be in reality. Another part is utterly disgusted with Tammy. Alexei can't find excuses for all of her behavior. Even her flirting with him tonight doesn't make sense.

Tammy plays the role of a loving girlfriend, so well, Alexei keeps drinking to numb how badly he wants what he sees her and Mark have, and yet he has to remember and loathe the insincerity. She's such an outstanding actress. Tammy's character is reminding him of the most important someone Alexei could never forget.

He could never forget Cassandra, and that's why he shouldn't want Tammy.

Cassandra Harris had been hired by his father as a modern governance of sorts. She was his teacher, so he didn't have to go to private or public school, and she was a glorified babysitter. As times would show, she also was a sick whore and is responsible for molesting and raping Alexei and Mark for years of their lives. Personally, Alexei's warped interaction began at age eleven and lasted until he was seventeen.

Thinking about Cassandra begins to fuel deep seated rage within Alexei that her death has never quenched.

Alexei drains ,his fourth, cup of wine. The intrusive memories are making Alexei panic, his 'girlfriend' touches his leg, hoping to divert his attention back to their table. Alexei resists rolling his eyes, no matter how clear he makes the preference to not be touched without permission, she does so.

Alexei reaches and holds her slender hand. She looks at him smiling, the small affection selling the farce of their relationship those present.

Tammy excuses herself to Mark.
Alexei feels his breath catch as she sneaks a peek, his way, as she exits. The way she'd been looking at him moments before would makes him blush. Tammy is fleeing ,in Embarrassment, from being caught lusting over him.