I know a lot of people who are self conscious of crying, every one is different. I wouldn't say I I'm self conscious of crying tough, I cry a lot- I don't know about other people but to me crying feeling really good, sometimes if I don't cry I get this pain in my neck, I don't know if that's normal or not but for me it can happen pretty easily. Two(or more) years ago one of my- lets call her usetobefriend, usetobefriend scared me while I was walking around a corner and I dropped my popcorn all over the floor because of it- and I started crying, I know a lot of people think that would be dumb but not to me at the moment for some reasons,

You scared me first of all, second that took 2 min to make and now I wasted some butter, I'm probably going to have to clean my dead child off of the floor now (I luv popcorn), and I just wanted to make them uncomfortable. 

usetobefriend messed with me and also liked playing with my feelings a lot and I kind of had to be friends with her, I didn't really like it...- anyways I'm rambling.

I cry a lot, and don't really feel self conscious about it. But I sometimes do feel self conscious of smiling. 'Feeling self conscious about one of the words happiest emotion?' it pretty dumb to think of it that way.

One of the many reasons I love sweaters, with turtle necks I can over up my face so no one knows I'm smiling. Not that I don't ever show that I'm smiling its just sometime I feel like dumb while doing it. It's kind of like the self conscious of crying some people just don't know how to understand it, some people may not understand my smiling thing either.

Maybe I should delete this? I don't know, I'm just writing out my thoughts at this point. I'll just post this now-