A/N: this gif tho🤣👏🏻

Shoutouts: 5sos_1D_gurl, CastawayHemmmo, bandtrash_Castaway, PaynefullyObsessed, and 

Dedication: -AshIrwin21-

[Niall]

I love her, but i can't stand her. She makes me want to punch a wall, or rather someone's face. What if all this time she's been with Ronan? Maybe he's the one who made her say all of those things to me...or what if she's with Liam? I just want to punch something, I want someone else to feel my pain and take it away from me. 

Why did she say we weren't working? We were working out just fine, until tonight. I just can't see how she doesn't understand how much I love her. It hurts so much thinking about it, love. I've never really actually said it to a girl before, besides my Mum. When I try to say it to anyone else it feels so coarse coming off my lips, but when I say it to Caitriona, it seems so flawless. I just can't think of a life without her. 

Maybe I'm stupid for falling for a girl in two weeks, but I did, and falling for Caitriona was far from stupid. The only thing that is stupid is me. I wonder if I did something wrong, but knowing deep down I didn't. I sigh and start to feel my blood boil, I'm filled with anger. I feel everything inside me tense up as I start running to the pub. 

I storm through the door and my eyes land on Ronan. I feel my feet race towards the bulk man, and before I could register a thought, I was already on top of him. I punch him over and over feeling no sympathy if I break his face. When Ronan finally registers what's going on, he pulls a knife from out of his pocket. 

 "Yes! You wouldn't believe how long I've been waiting for this moment!" He wickedly smiles, spitting out some blood. He flips us over and I feel someone hold my hands down as Ronan punches me hard, making my head bounce off the floor. I feel my body go numb as he punches me a few more times. 

"Pull him up. I want to let Caitiona see his pretty face after I'm done with him" he says to his friends. He makes me think of Caitriona again, how beautiful she is, how I just want to hold her all the time...but then it reminds me of how much I hate her, how she didn't want me. 

I know it was wrong to pursue my best friends' sister, but I can't help myself when I'm around her. Each time that Ronan hit me it felt so addictive, I wanted him to keep hitting me over and over again, in hopes that maybe my heart wouldn't hurt anymore, but it still does. I now realize that no matter how much pain Ronan will cause to me physically, it's so much better than the emotional pain Caitriona has caused to me. 

Ronan orders them to hold me down, and they do. I feel a cold piece of metal, a blade, touch to my forehead and I feel him press. I let out a yell, and soon they are muffled by someone's hands. I feel blood pour from the gash, as he makes another on my cheek. He rests the blade on my throat and grits his teeth.

"Stay away from her, or next time you'll be dead, I see how you're always with her" he spits again, this time a tooth, but his wicked smile could do without it, because it will still send shivers down my spine. He lets me go, and I groan once my body hits the wooden floor. 

Once he leaves, I stumble towards the door and keep walking. I kept walking till I reached the Walsh's house, I knew good and well no one would be home tonight, that's why I came. Aedan told me his Mum and him would be gone for the weekend to get Caitriona a birthday gift. He wanted me to look after her for a few days, so I lied to her. 

I pound on the door, in hopes to wake her if she is sleeping. She opens the door and covers her mouth from a gasp. She takes my arm and pulls me into the kitchen, in front of the sink. She sits me down and aids my wounds.

"We can talk about this later" I say as she seems almost relived that I didn't bring it up now. I stare at her face as I wince at the water touching my burning skin. 

"You will need some stitches" she says as I shake my head. 

"I'm not going to the hospital" I argue as she rolls her eyes. 

"Well I am a trained nurse, so I could give them to you" she says as I look at her and roll my eyes. "I'm serious, it's either me or I'm taking you to the Emergency Room" she says as I begin to reconsider, and I nod.

"Fine just do it quickly" I breathe as she sanitizes the needle in alcohol. Gulp as she starts to talk again. 

"I remember when I had to give Emilia stitches-" she smiles and then covers her mouth. 

"Who's Emilia?" I ask curiously as she shakes her head. She looks so nervous as she threads the needle in some string. 

"She's a girl I babysit" she explains. "She fell down the front steps at her house, and she had a huge gash on her head, but she didn't cry. You wouldn't believe how surprised I was" she beams.

"How old is she?" I question as I can see her smile grow with my questions. 

"She is two now, almost three" she laughs. I love the way I make her smile and laugh. How could she just not see how much she is happy around me?

"Your cheek cut is minor, it doesn't need stitches" she says as I nod. "You're all done" I hadn't noticed that she was sowing into my skin as she talked about Emilia. I was so Intrigued by the way she talked about this little girl, that I didn't feel an ounce of pain. 

"Oh okay" I get up, noticing I closed the space between our bodies. "Do you think I can meet her sometime?" I ask as she shakes her head. "Why?" 

"I just don't think it's a good idea, but maybe one day" she whispers, placing her hands on the counter. I don't care how many times she may break my heart, as long as I can wrap my arms around her, to comfort her. I know I am taking a risk, but she is worth the risk I will take.

I slip my arms around her waist and kiss her head. "Okay" is all I can think to say. If she doesn't feel comfortable with me seeing Emilia than I am okay with it. 

"Niall why are you doing this to me?" She mumbles.

"What?" I whisper just below her ear. I watch her shiver at my words, and I know what I do to her. I place my lips just below her ear, making her bite her lip.

"Why do you choose me? You could have anyone" she closes her eyes. "I don't deserve you" she whispers as I suck on her neck, leaving a mark. 

"Caitriona, everyone that I've been with I've had to keep hidden. You are the first girl that I've actually, for a long time now....that I don't want to keep hidden anymore. I know this is scary, but I am just as scared as you. I want you in my life, even if I have to lose a few people too" I breathe, as she turns around meeting my eyes. 

"Please tell me you feel the same way" I gulp as I see a single tear roll down her flushed cheek. 

"I.." 

//

Hoped you liked it!

As always, 

-ily xx