Three little words can change a lifetime.

I love you

Go for it

I'll be okay

My three little words were not as happy.

"You have cancer."

My mom burst into tears when she heard this. I didn't. I felt, nothing. Like an empty void or as if I was standing on the edge of a precipice, looking into the unknown.

My name is Alexis and I have stage four brain cancer.

It all started four weeks ago. Well, the headaches started well before that, but I thought nothing of it. Then I had a seizure, it was at school. I wasn't feeling well so I asked a teacher if I could go home. They said no, they said that it was probably nothing and I should just drink some water. I did, but then I blacked out.

I don't remember what happened at all. I woke up at the hospital with tubes stuck in me everywhere. And then they told me I had cancer. I have never been the same.

All my friends noticed the difference although they didn't know. They noticed the way I didn't speak much, they noticed that I never wanted to go out or do anything at all. So I drifted away, and so did they. They forgot about me so I faded back into the shadows, trying my hardest not to be noticed.

I started to sit in the back of the classroom from then on, staring off into space. At first the teachers tried to work with me. They set up appointments with counselors, they tried to get me to talk with anyone or join a support group. But I didn't go. I thought it wouldn't  help.

I distanced myself from everyone. Even my family, I stayed cooped up in my room for the majority of the time, reading. Books were my escape, I could go anywhere at anytime. I could go have an adventure in Narnia with Peter and Lucy, I could go to school in Hogwarts with Hermione and Harry. I could be anything, I didn't have to have cancer in my books, so for even just a few hours, I could be happy.

But then the Chemo started. I lost twenty pounds. My hair was falling out, clumps of it at a time. So I shaved it all off, then people started to notice me.

The looks followed the Chemo. The pitying looks. Then the apologies, the "I'm sorry" or "It must be so hard".

I never responded to them, I didn't have to. The people didn't really care, they didn't know me. They just wanted to feel like they had done something good to someone in need, I wasn't in need though. I was fighting a war silently, I may not have been winning, but at least I was fighting.

The assembly happened a month after I was diagnosed. The entire school was called into the hall, under the pretense they would be just be attending an anti-bullying assembly. Then the principal started to tell the school that there was a student battling cancer. Then he called my name, and all eyes turned to me. I was terrified, but more angry than anything. Who would have done this!

As the tears welled up in my eyes, I led from the hall. I called my mom to come pick me up from school, and she came without a second thought.

I didn't go back to school from then. My doctor okayed it and said that it might help my mental health. It wouldn't matter anyway, I only had a few weeks to live.

I spent even more time in my room now, only coming out for meals, rarely though, sometimes I wouldn't eat for the whole day.

But then IT happened, the thing that made me happy, even in my final moments.

I woke up one morning, depressed, I planned on binge reading 'The Hunger Games' during the next few days. I read for a few hours before hearing some music coming from outside my window.

I put down my book and threw on my coat. I ran downstairs and opened up the door.

Outside was the whole school holding posters with positive messages on them, they were singing. I didn't know what song they were singing, I don't think it was a specific one, but it was beautiful in an odd way.

So now, on my death bed, I think over what has happened. Now, I'm surrounded by my family, and honestly, I've never been happier, I feel satisfied. I feel like I'm loved. And I can die now, with a smile,as I all into darkness and an eternal sleep.