Harry went to the counter and picked up his phone when it rang.  "Hey Niall.  What's up?"  He asked throwing a piece of fruit in his mouth.

"Hey Harry, just, wondering if you talked to JJ about last night yet?"  He asked. 

Harry laughed.  "Yeah, no that didn't happen.  There was no talking last night.  And she's still passed out.  I was about to take her some water and some aspirin because I'm sure she's going to need it."

Niall sighed.  "Yeah Amanda's still out too.  We were supposed to leave soon for Ireland but I figure she better sleep it off a little more.  I'm still a little confused or concerned about last night.

Brother, I'm sure it's not as bad as you think.  I'm honestly wondering how much Julie's going to remember about last night."  'Like me telling her I was in love with her', Harry thought to himself.  He wasn't sure if he wanted her to remember or not.

"Yeah they were very drunk.  That kiss, or those kisses though.  It doesn't bother you at all?"  Niall asked him.

"I thought it should.  I thought I should be mad about it, but I wasn't.  I think there's more than a kiss or kisses.  And what I mean by that is, I think their drunk selves couldn't think of any other way to express what they were feeling.  I think it just came out in some pretty intense kisses.  At least until I hear otherwise, that's what I'm going to think.  I don't think Julie's going to leave me for Amanda if that's what you're wondering."  Harry said.

"Yeah, I guess it could be.  I think it's something that we're going to have to discuss at some point.  I mean it was, crazy."  Niall said.

"Yeah it was and I'm pretty sure it turned me on more than it was supposed to."  Harry couldn't help but laugh.

Niall finally laughed.  "Yeah, damn them."

"You've been saying that a lot friend."  Harry said amused.

"I know and I can't imagine not having them in my life either and that sucks sometimes."  He laughed again.

"Alright well have a safe trip to Ireland and hope the meeting of the family goes well.  We'll talk soon."  Harry said.

"Yes of course and good luck with JJ meeting your mum.  Wonder which JJ she will get."  Niall said laughing.

"Long as it's not the drunk one I think we'll be ok."  Harry laughed.

Harry walked into the bedroom to wake Julie up.  He seriously wondered how she would be feeling this morning.  She was not herself last night.  At least not the person she tried to be.  He understood why she always felt like she needed to be in control of situations and her actions but she definitely was not in control last night.  He wondered how she would deal with that today.  How she would deal with acting and speaking on her feelings without first thinking about it, is something he didn't know.  He walked to the bed and she wasn't there.  He saw the bathroom door was shut and walked over.  He heard the shower running.  He was surprised she was awake without him waking her.  He went and sat on the bed while he waited for her to come out.  When she walked out a few minutes later, he looked at her and smiled.  "You're alive."

"Is that what you call this?  Because I'm not real sure."  She said.

He laughed.  "Rough night?"

"I was about to ask you how my night went, because it all seems really fuzzy after we arrived at the club."  She said.

"That might be because you and Amanda drank the bar dry."  He couldn't help but chuckle.

"That, I believe.  So, this is what a hangover feels like?  I dislike it.  A lot."  She walked over to him.  "If I ever pick up another drop of alcohol, you have my explicit permission to lock me in a room for my own good."

He put his hands on her hips and pulled her between his legs.  "You willing to write that down and sign it?  Seriously, I think we just may need to control the amount you drink.  You seriously don't remember anything about last night at the club or after?"  He asked.

"I'm not sure.  It all seems like it could have been a dream."   Julie said clasping her hands behind his neck.

"So, you don't remember making out with Amanda in the middle of the club?"  He said looking at her.

"Oh god.  That was real?  Oh, Jesus.  How can you even look at me?"  She sighed.

He couldn't help but laugh.  "Yeah, I was caught completely off guard but figured I'd wait for an explanation from you first.  You actually told Amanda you wanted to come home with me instead of her, so figured you weren't leaving me for her."

"Oh, god it was that bad?"  She climbed on the bed and pulled the comforter over her head.   "Kill me now."

"No need for that.  Come on out of there.  We have to go anyway, we're running late already."  He said pulling the covers from her head.

"How could you even want me to meet your mom after last night?"  She asked rolling onto her back.

"Oh, no, you are not using that as an excuse to get out of meeting my mum.  Don't even think about it.  We can talk about it on the way."  He said taking her hand and pulling her up.  "Do you remember anything after we got home?"

She wrapped her arms around his waist.  "You mean me telling you I loved you?  Or you telling me you were IN love with me?"

He laughed.  "Both.  You're not running and you remember?"

"I wasn't sure if it happened or not, but figured if kissing Amanda was real, than that probably was too.  It should scare me.  Maybe it does some but..."  She looked up at him.  "I love you.  And I don't want to deny it anymore."

He smiled.  "Well good thing, because I don't want to hide it anymore in fear of scaring you.  I love you.  I have for a while.  Now let's go meet my mum."

"Can I persuade you otherwise?  Maybe something like last night?"  She asked.

"Tempting love."  He stepped away from her hands running down his hips.  "Not gonna happen.  Stay away."  He laughed.  "No touching because it's not fair."

"Come on.  Let me show you how much I love you."  She said reaching her hands out and stepping towards him.

He turned and hurried from the room away from her.  "No!  You're not distracting me, you're meeting my mum!"

She laughed and grabbed her bag.  "Dammit."  She followed him out to the car.  She threw her bag in the trunk.  She wrapped her arms around Harry from behind, under his shirt, and over his stomach.

He removed her hands.  "No touching.  I told you."  He stepped away from her.  "Stop now."  He saw the look in her eyes.  "Stop messing with me.  I mean it."  He pointed his finger at her and stepped backwards when she stepped towards him.

"Awe come on.  It would be fun."  She said.

"Yes, very fun.  I would love every second of it, but I know what you're doing.  Seriously," He stopped stepping backwards and put his hand on her cheek when she got close.  "Mum will love you I promise."

"How do you know?  I'm not sure I'm meet the mom material."  She sighed and looked up at him.  "You know how difficult I am."

"You're difficult with me.  Yes, I know that, but I know because I love you and I know that means mum will love you too."  He looked her in the eyes.  "Trust me ok?"

She sighed again.  "Ok, I trust you.  But I still think I could have made it worth your while."

He shook his head.  "No doubts.  But I'm onto you.  We can play later.  That I promise."

Niall walked into the bedroom and went over and woke Amanda up.  "Hey Princess you gotta get up.  We gotta go."

"What time is it?"  Amanda asked groggily.

"Almost noon.  We really gotta go."  Niall said.

She sat up quickly.  "I thought we were supposed to fly out at 11."

"I changed the flight early this morning.  I figured after last night it wouldn't be a bad thing.  But we gotta leave soon."  He said.

"Oh, my god Niall, I'm so sorry.  You should've just gotten me up."  She got up and grabbed her things for a shower.  "I will hurry I promise."  She went in to shower.  She was trying to recall the night before.  She was having a hard time.  Oh, my god she felt like she was dying.  What a hangover.  She came out of the shower quickly and started packing her bag.  She looked at Niall who was just watching her.  "Are you ok?  Are you mad?  You could have woken me up."

"No, I'm not mad really.  Confused maybe.  Last night really got to me.  I have no idea what to think."  He said.

"Yeah, I'm not quite sure exactly what happened last night.  Been trying to put it together.  But if it upset you I'm really really sorry.  I never meant too."

"I'm just struggling with the whole kissing JJ thing.  I can't quite figure that one out."  He said.

Amanda paused a minute packing her bag.  It started to come back to her.  "Oh.  Geez.  Yeah well I'm sure alcohol had a lot to do with that."

"I have no doubts it did.  But there has to be more to it than that."  He looked at her.

"I'm sure there was.  Let's get to the airport; I promise I will figure it out and I will tell you and answer all your questions and anything else.  But we should go.  If you still want me to meet your family."  She said closing her bag.

"Of course, I do.  I love you Amanda.  I just need to know."  He took her bag and her hand and walked her to the car.

Harry looked over at Julie.  They were about halfway through the drive.  "You've been strangely quiet.  Even for you.  Care to share what's going on in that beautiful head of yours?"

"Yeah I'm about to meet your mom and it terrifies me."  She said.  "I know how important she is to you and how important her opinion would be.  And I know you hate it when I doubt myself, but I just feel I will never be good enough for you."

"Have I ever told you that you worry too much?"  He said taking her hand.

"You don't have too.  I know that.  And I can't help it."  She said.

He picked her hand up and kissed it.  "You're more than good enough for me.  And most importantly you're good FOR me.  I'm better when I'm with you."  He glanced at her face. 

"Believe it, please.  We're good for each other Julie.  If you believe in us than it will all be good."

She looked over at him.  "I believe in us.  But I'm not going to stop being nervous.  No matter what you say."

"Well, Amanda's not there to distract you with her kisses so there's nothing to worry about."  He laughed.

She let go of his hand and backhanded him across the chest.  "Not funny."

He rubbed his chest and laughed.  "Yes, it was.  Wanna tell me about what you were thinking.  Because it was intense.  I think we may need to talk about it."

She sighed.  "I don't know.  It's really hard to sort through last night.  My brain felt so confused and murky.  It's like I was there but yet I wasn't.  It's like no matter what I couldn't control my actions.  Looking back at it, it kind of sucks."

"Yeah I figured that control thing might bother you."  He said.  "Sometimes it's ok to lose control.  Just maybe not like that.  Again.  Ever.  No kissing anyone but me.  Ever again."

"I'm glad you can joke about it.  I can't believe you're not upset with me."  She said looking out the window.

"Honestly.  I thought I would be.  When I first saw it, I thought I would be angry but I just have a feeling there's more to it than the action.  So, I wish you would just talk to me."  He said.

"I think, I don't know.  Amanda's always been there for me.  When I had to leave Wisconsin, when I had to walk away from my family to get away from my situation, I felt like I would never find anyone to share anything with again.  I was convinced I would pretty much be on my own from then on.  Amanda changed that really quickly."  She looked over at him.  "You really want me to get into all this before I meet your mom?"

"Yes, Julie.  You've opened up a lot over the past couple of months but you still hide quite a bit.  Please?"  He asked.

She took a deep breath she was kind of tired of having to explain her past.  But he was so kind, and so understanding with it all he deserved to get an answer.  "I didn't feel like I had anything to look forward too.  May seem extreme now, but I didn't know if I had anything left worth living for.  I was going through the motions but wasn't really living.  Amanda wouldn't let me stay in that fog I was living in.  She basically wouldn't let me stay to myself.  She wouldn't let me stay in my bubble for long.  I never planned on living with anyone but she convinced me it would be good for both of us.  I'm not sure she even knows how good it was for me.  I think last night the feelings I have for her got confused with the alcohol.  Everything I was feeling last night seemed really confusing.  I can't thank her enough for basically saving my life.  Or at least giving me life back.  It just came out the wrong way because apparently, I can't handle my alcohol."  She looked over at him and saw tears in his eyes.  "I didn't mean to make you cry."

He smiled through his tears.  "Yeah, well, how could I not after that?  I figured it was something like that but I didn't know it was quite that deep.  You've gone through a lot.  It's tough to hear sometimes how bad it was.  I think sometimes we see the now and forget how the now is influenced by the past.  Sometimes when you're in the now and being you and playful and sarcastic and funny I forget."

"I want to forget sometimes.  But I can't, not completely.  Amanda's made it easier.  You've made it easier but it's never gone.  Can we stop now?  That's enough for today."  She said.

He could see it in her face.  She was emotionally drained from that discussion.  He couldn't even imagine how hard it was for her to go back to that place.  "Yes, of course.  We have lots and lots of time to get through all of it.  Little by little is fine by me.  I'm not going anywhere."

"I can't afford your therapy bill.  Hope you know that."  She said to him.

"There's that guard you always put up.  One day I hope you figure out that you don't need it with me."  He took her hand again.

She looked over at him.  She didn't know what to say.  She had a feeling she should have kept her guard up more with him.  She's let him see so much, she felt completely defenseless with him.  There were few people in her life she felt could hurt her.  Him and Amanda were the two she was most afraid of.  Everyone always left eventually, she'd accepted that.  Always prepared herself for it.  But if he, or Amanda were to leave, she's not sure how she would deal with it.  They knew too much.  Hurt was not something she knew how to deal with.  "I need my guard Harry.  I'm really sorry."

"Oh baby, don't be sorry.  I get it.  I get it more and more every time you talk to me.  We're good."  He knew she was letting her guard down slowly.  Every time she opened up a little to him the guard came down some.  He wasn't going to rush her.  The first few days after they met he knew there was more to her, he was determined then to figure it out.  He may not have known it was so intense and so scary but she had more to offer than she would ever know.

Amanda looked at Niall after the plane took off.  "Are you ready for me to tell you?"

"I always want you to talk to me."  He looked over at her.

"I'm really sorry it went the way it did.  But I can promise you that you are the only one I want.  The only one I love in that way."  She said.

"I believe you love me.  I wouldn't be here if I didn't.  But there's some sort of feelings for JJ that are really confusing me right now.  You know I adore her, but watching that kind of blew my mind.  I talked to Harry this morning and he seemed to completely understand without even talking to JJ, but I'm not sure I do."  He took her hand.

Amanda let out a sigh of relief when he took her hand.  It was all confusing and after she talked about it with Niall she was sure her and JJ would have to have a discussion about it.  Would it be awkward?  "Yeah Niall, I love her.  And lately I've felt extremely protective of her.  I want nothing more than for her to feel loved and to feel safe.  To believe she belongs somewhere.  I think all the alcohol did was make all that come out in a really crazy, unorthodox way.  I wanted her to feel wanted, and beautiful, and worthy.  Wanted her to think she deserved to be loved.  She's beautiful, and she will never admit it.  I think the crazy amount of alcohol we consumed caused me to think that would be the way.  I do hope you understand."

"Oh wow.  Princess.  That's probably the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.  I'm sorry I even slightly doubted your intentions at all."  He kissed her.  "But I'm telling you it was quite the scene.  You guys didn't hold back."

"Yeah, no control.  I'm struggling with that.  Think about how crazy of a control freak JJ is."  She kind of laughed.  "She's my family Niall, I couldn't love her more if she truly was my sister.  I can't explain it.  After her completely opening up to me.  Well almost completely.  I just got carried away."

"Alright, Amanda.  Its ok.  I understand.  But maybe we can find another way to show her next time."  He raised his eyebrow at her.

"Yeah I will work on that."  She said laughing and laying her head on his shoulder.

*if you are enjoying the story please vote/comment/share. I would love to be able to respond.

*the story is complete fan fiction