The next morning, Harry woke up and reached for Julie. He didn't feel her. He sat up and rubbed his face. He smelled coffee and looked over at the patio door. She was standing there again, leaning against the frame, coffee cup in her hand. Once again, he found himself just watching her. She seemed a little stiff. More so then he had seen her on this trip. Maybe not quite as much as before, but it was noticeable. He took a deep breath. Today was the last full day they had together. They all flew back home tomorrow morning. He and Niall to London; Julie and Amanda to LA. They would be busy pretty much until the tour started, and the start of the tour couldn't get further away from LA. They were literally a day ahead most of the time. He loved touring, he loved performing, but this time he was dreading leaving. It was hard on any relationship, but he didn't want to be so far away when she was working through her biggest issues. It was a feeling he wasn't used to. He quietly crawled out of bed, slipped a robe on and walked behind her. She never even moved. She must have been deep in thought. He slipped his arms gently around her waist. She jumped a little, but then he heard her sniffle and try to wipe her eyes indiscreetly. "Are you crying, baby?" He tried to turn her to him, but she resisted.

"I'm ok." She said trying to keep the emotion out of her voice. She shook her head. She knew she was hiding from him again, but she was having a hard time dealing with all of the feeling. "I'm sorry. I'm just, I'm not sure how to sort through everything going on in my head, in my heart."

"I can't say I understand how you feel, but I understand you're struggling. I just want to help." He leaned his chin on her shoulder. "Just let me help. Tell me how you feel." He whispered to her.

"I can't. I mean," she pulled away from him a minute and put the mug down. "I just, it's all so much." She walked up to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. She felt him relax a little when she did. This was hard for her, but she was trying. "Letting myself feel is hard. I spent so long not feeling, pushing my feelings aside, going with the logical choice, for so long that I keep feeling I'm going to get overwhelmed if I just let the feelings take over. It scares me. The hardest thing I ever did was call you when I got back, tell you how I was feeling, take your anger. I wanted to hide. And when I did that, my heart hurt. It hurt worse than Paris. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I hated feeling like that. If I hid, then I wouldn't have had to feel that. But then, I wouldn't have you."

"Baby, I don't want you to hurt; unfortunately, it's a part of working through all of this. We talked about how this isn't all going to seem rational." He rubbed gently over her back and kissed her head. "It doesn't have to be rational. It doesn't have to be what everyone expects. You can have whatever feelings you have. I will be here for you, Julie. I promise. You can be honest with me. I want you to be honest with me. Don't think you need to say what I want to hear, say what you feel."

"I can't say it." Julie said starting to cry. "I can't be that unreasonable."

"Julie." Harry said closing his eyes. God, he hated when she cried. He felt it in his heart every time she did. "Baby, what's got you so upset?"

"I don't want you to go." She said to him. She was being a baby. She was being unreasonable. She was being clingy. She hated every part of it. "Like, I seriously want to act like a baby and beg you not to."

He kind of chuckled. "Wow, baby. We have all of today yet. And we will figure out a time to see each other before the tour starts. We've got each other no matter where we are."

"I know." She said pulling away and walking away from him. "But you don't understand. I don't want you to go. I don't want you to go on tour for months across the globe. I don't want to plan on when I get to see you next. I just want to know."

Harry watched her pace the room. She was pacing as fast as she was speaking. "Baby, it's normal to be upset...." He said to her, but got interrupted.

"No, Harry. It's not normal. I'm always ok with it. I always need my alone time. I'm good with my alone time. Or at least I always was before. I knew what you did, and that you had to go, and that you went on tour, and would be away a lot. Now, it just makes me angry. And it shouldn't make me angry." She said speaking faster and pacing faster.

He smiled and caught her mid pace. "Julie, you love me, just accept it."

"Of course, I do, what does that..." she looked up at him and saw his grin. He was making fun of her. "Damn it, Harry." She laughed. She pushed at his stomach.

"Don't think I don't have the same thoughts. I don't want to leave you either. I know you accept it, just like I do, but doesn't mean you have to like it." He wrapped her tightly in his arms. "I don't like it either." He squeezed her tightly.

"I don't want to seem clingy, Harry." She said sniffling into his chest. God, why was she crying over this? "I don't want to make you feel guilty for leaving. I just don't know how to stop it."

He laughed again. "Ok, it is taking some time to get used to this completely honest part of you, but it doesn't make you clingy. And, well, it just wouldn't be a relationship if you didn't miss me. I mean I would hope you would miss me. Even though you never admitted it before, I hoped you missed me."

"Harry," she pulled back and looked at him. "It's not funny."

"Baby." He said looking down at her. It was the first time she'd let him see her cry like that. The tears were running over her cheeks. "It's ok. Ok, you're right. You're making me feel guilty. God, I don't want to see you this upset."

"I've always missed you, from the first time you left LA. It just hurt a lot less when I pretended I didn't care. And it hurts a lot right now. I screwed up and lost you for a month. And now I get you back, and five days later, you're leaving and who even knows when I will see you next. And I get it, I really get it, and I don't want you to change, but I don't know how to deal with the pain in my heart either." She wrapped her arms tight around his waist again.

"Julie, we will work it out. I know it's not the same, but every free minute, I have we can talk. Multiple times a day. I have to leave physically, but remember you will be with me, in my heart, everywhere I go." He rested his head on hers and fought his own tears. He always wanted a reaction from her when they parted, but he wasn't actually expecting one. Not quite this intense, and there was still a full day to go.

"What happens when I go back to work? And the time differences? The day differences? What happens when we just don't have the time, or things just slowly become too hard?" She was officially worried. They were touring when they got together, but it was in the States, and it was easy to spend some time together. This tour wasn't coming to the States until later in the summer. That was six months of time in other countries. There was a break in spring, but she wasn't even sure where that would be spent for him.

He stepped back and put his hands on her shoulders. He looked in her eyes. "It will never be too hard. Don't you do that now. Don't you doubt us."

"Isn't that my job? And it's your job to tell me I'm impossible and stubborn." Julie said sniffling and trying to stop.

"Well, it used to be. But you're pretty emotional now; I wouldn't want to hurt your feelings." Harry said to her chuckling. "Hey, Ow!" He said rubbing his stomach where she pinched him.

"I don't like violence, but one does not simply mess with me like that." She said to him as she glared at him and then went to walk out the bedroom.

He couldn't help but laugh at her. "I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you walk away." He called out after her. He laughed even harder when she stuck her middle finger up at him as she walked out the door. He just shook his head and grabbed his stuff for a shower. What a vacation they were having. So much different than the times they spent together before. Yes, they had dealt with some issues, but not like their previous times together. When she came to surprise him in Miami, he had found out about her past. When she came to Vegas, her past came and found her. Paris had his lapse in judgement, and Thanksgiving ended with her leaving, but this time was different. This time even before he was leaving, she'd told him she would miss him, that she didn't want him to go. If he was honest, he didn't think that would come. He thought her strong will and her independence would never let her admit her feelings. Although he didn't want to see her struggle with it, part of him was glad she'd told him. Part of him was relieved she actually wanted him to stay. It was a nice boost to his ego.

Julie walked out into the kitchen, straight past Amanda and Niall who were sitting at the counter drinking coffee or tea. She went right to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. She closed the fridge and just stood there looking at the water.

"Um, JJ?" Amanda said. "Hello?"

Julie looked up at Amanda. "Oh, hey."

"Oh, hey?" Amanda said to her. "Really? What's going on? Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." Julie said as she walked back towards the living room of the cabin towards the door.

"No?" Amanda looked at Niall and then got up and walked towards Julie.

"Was that not specific enough for you?" Julie asked turning and looking at Amanda.

"It was plenty specific. I guess I should have been more specific. Spill." Amanda said to her.

"I don't want to." Julie said grabbing her coat. "I need a walk. I need some fresh air."

"So, let me go with you." Amanda said. She looked back towards the bedroom to see if Harry was coming out yet. He wasn't.

"Yeah, come on JJ," Niall said. "Don't want you out on a scary mountain yourself."

"I will be fine. I'm not going near any ski slopes, and I'm pretty sure there's nothing else out there that's going to get me." Julie said zipping her coat and putting her boots on.

"JJ, please. Wait for Harry to come out here." Amanda pleaded with her.

"Just tell him I went for a walk. I will be back in a little bit. It's not like I can walk home from here, and the keys to the car are still on the counter." Julie said waving her hand towards the counter. "I just need some time, please." She shook her head and walked out the door.

Amanda walked back to the counter. She waited for Harry to come out of the room. She was afraid of what was happening.

Niall walked up behind Amanda. "Princess, she just wanted to go for a walk."

"Niall, that's the first time since we've been here she completely shut me out. She said straight up no when I asked her to talk." Amanda said.

"Think about that harder. In four days, this is the first time she didn't share her feelings. Amanda, that's huge. She's not going to perfect it overnight. She still may need some time to herself. She's gone through a lot." Niall said lifting Amanda's chin and kissing her. "Give her a break, babe."

"Yeah, maybe, but I don't like it." Amanda said.

"You don't like what?" Harry said walking out of the room and over to them.

"Julie leaving." She watched Harry's eyes widen. "I mean, she said she was going for a walk. But I asked her to talk to me, and she said no. Straight no. Nothing else. Niall says I need to give her a break, but she hasn't been like this the whole time." She said sitting back down.

"I think Niall's right. She's been extremely open and honest. It goes against everything she's been doing for years. She's talked about everything she's done since Thanksgiving, she's talked about her past, she even admitted just this morning that she didn't want me to leave. Give her some time." Harry said walking to the fridge.

Amanda looked at him. "You're not worried she's going to run again? Not even a little worried?"

"Of course, a little. But honestly, I think she just needs some time. She admitted feeling angry that I was leaving and touring, but she also admitted she thought it was unreasonable. I'm sure she's trying to grasp it all. I believe in our love for each other. We've dealt with a lot the past few days."

"I know you have, and we have, and she has. But I don't like her going off alone when something's bugging her." Amanda said sighing.

"I will go look for her in a bit if she doesn't come back, but I'm not worried about it Amanda, and you shouldn't be either. We can't expect her never to want to try and figure things out on her own." Harry told her.

"God, I'm starting to hate the two of you. Harry, you sound just like Niall." Amanda said pouting.

Niall laughed. "Oh Princess, just because we make sense."

"Niall, you better not." Amanda said looking at him.

Niall laughed harder. "Yes ma'am." He stood up. "Come on, we only have one more day here. Let's not ruin it. I will take you to the gift shops. That should keep you occupied, and by the time we come back, I'm sure JJ will be settled back here with Harry." He nodded at Harry, and then after they bundled up, he took Amanda down to the main area for some distraction.

After about an hour, Harry decided he needed to go see if he could find Julie. He was slightly concerned, but he still didn't think after this morning that she would just run. He walked out and saw foot prints. He could tell which were Niall and Amanda's and then saw another set going off in the opposite direction. Thank goodness for fresh snow. He followed them for quite some time. She'd gone pretty far. Then, he spotted her. Up on a hill top standing looking down at the cottages below. He smiled as he walked up to her. She heard him and turned around towards him. "Hi." He said. He leaned down and kissed her and then held her in his arms. "You've been gone an awful long time."

"Sorry." She said holding onto his arms. "It's so beautiful out here, and the further you get away, the more peaceful it is. You can't even hear anything, but the light breeze up here. It was, just, calming."

"It's ok, just got a bit worried. Didn't want you to be cold, or lost." He said moving behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. "It is definitely a beautiful sight."

Julie looked back at him to see if she could tell where he was looking. His eyes were on her. "Harry," she turned her head and blushed. "Enough of that."

"Never, you are a beautiful sight. But this place is beautiful too." He bent down and rested his chin on her shoulder. "Are you ok?"

She sighed. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just struggling with this whole thing. I don't really want to talk about it."

"I will give you a pass for now. But we have to talk about it, Julie. At some point before we leave here. We have to work it out." He said closing his eyes.

"I know. Just, let me enjoy this right now with my boyfriend. I just want to imprint this into my memory. This trip has been amazing. You have been amazing. And this place is amazing." She leaned back against him and closed her eyes. "I could stay right here forever."

"As could I, my love, as could I." He closed his eyes and held her close. He knew she wasn't going to run. He knew they were closer than ever. He was content in this relationship for the first time. He felt like he had her heart in it fully for the first time. It was a pretty intense feeling.

*if you are enjoying the story please vote/comment/share. I would love to be able to respond.

*the story is complete fan fiction