Harry looked over at Julie who was off by herself a bit. They'd had a great night. She had interacted with everyone there. She was charming and kind, and everyone seemed to like her. Not that it was the most important thing, but he was glad everyone seemed to see the good in her. She did look tired though. Maybe a bit overwhelmed. She wasn't the most outgoing person, but she'd tried extremely hard tonight to speak to everyone who wanted to speak to her. It was late; it probably would be safe for them to leave. He watched her run her hand through her hair and let out a deep breath. Yeah, she'd had enough. He walked up to her. "Hey, gorgeous. Ready to get out of here?"

"Oh, I'm ok. Just needed a bit of a break. It's exhausting trying to be nice to everyone. Especially for me." She joked.

"Funny, love. Funny." He leaned down and kissed her. "I know you like to pretend you're big, bad and mean. But you're not. Just accept it."

"You should just accept your girlfriend is mean." Julie smiled up at him. "Hi." She put her hand on his cheek and looked into his eyes. "I missed you so much. You have no idea. And that's really hard for me to admit."

"I know." He laughed. "But thanks for admitting it." He put his hand behind her neck and pulled her closer to him, kissing her, and wrapping his arms around her waist. "I think it's ok for us to leave. I've seen these people for weeks, and I haven't seen you, or touched you, in a month."

Julie rolled her eyes. "Of course. I know exactly what you're thinking about. Such a typical man."

"Do you blame me? I mean, look at you. How could I possibly think of keeping my hands off you when I have the most beautiful girlfriend in the universe?" He chuckled and kissed her.

"Oh, you think you're so charming." Julie said shaking her head. "You're lucky I fell in love with you before I realized how much of a smooth talker you were." She took his hand when he backed up from her a bit.

"Yeah, yeah. Super lucky. Come on. Let's go say goodbye to mum and then everyone and get out of here. We can go for a walk if you want. Let's just go be alone. I can think about other things, you smart ass." Harry said pulling her along back to his mom.

"I love your pet names for me. They're so lovable." Julie said tucking hair behind her ear.

"Shut up." Harry laughed at her. They spoke to his mum for a bit longer and then said their goodbyes. He placed Julie's coat around her shoulders and put his on. After she'd closed up her coat, he put his hand gently on her back and walked her out of the restaurant. When he'd met her, he hadn't been looking for a serious relationship. Ever since that day though, he couldn't think of anything else. Yes, she was complex; yes, she was scared; yes, she was sassy and a bit closed off; but he couldn't love her anymore. Maybe he was truly brought into her life to understand her, help her. He'd said before that Niall understood her more than he did, but he wasn't sure that was true. Niall did see things a little simpler than he did. But he felt he did know her better than anyone. He still wasn't over her openness in Tahoe. He knew she had pulled back some since he left. He could hear it when they spoke and see it when they FaceTimed, but she still seemed more opened than she had been previously. He walked her to the car and opened the door for her, helped her in, and then closed her door. After he walked around the car and got in, he looked at her. "I'm going to take you someplace before we go home. I want you to see the city like you've never seen before."

Julie smiled at him. "Ok, love. Someplace special?"

"Yes love, although anywhere with you is special." Harry laughed when Julie scrunched her nose at him. "God, I love you. You're so cute when you make faces at me."

"Oh, you shut up now." Julie laughed.

"It's only a couple minute drive." Harry said as he drove out of the city a bit and up a large hill. He parked and walked around to let Julie out of the car. He took her hand and walked her to a bench at the highest part of the hill. When you looked down you could see a lot of the city. The lights, the buildings, the beauty. "Well, what do you think?"

"It's beautiful. It's perfect. I love overlooking beautiful places." Julie said looking over the city.

Harry stood next to her. "I may have realized that. You ran to roofs, and you also went up the hill in Tahoe. I may be a bit daft, but I observe you. I want to know what you like. Although, this one I picked up purely by coincidence. I come up here every now and again. It's a great place to think and figure things out. Thought maybe you could share it with me."

Julie smiled up at him. "I'm not sure I like you knowing me so well. How am I supposed to hide from you anymore?"

"You aren't. Whole point, my love, whole point." Harry said chuckling at her.

"Well, damn." Julie said pulling her jacket tighter around her. It was a bit breezy. A little chill ran through her.

Harry watched her. She didn't seem overly sad, but she didn't seem overly happy either. It was the first time in a while he didn't feel he could read her. They needed to talk before he left on tour. He couldn't let her continue to pull back. "Are you cold? Do you want to go?" When he watched her shake her head no, he continued. "Ok, I'm going to run to the coffee shop, right over there." He said pointing to his right. "Grab us some hot chocolate, ok?"

"Ok, I just want to stay a little longer. It's beautiful." Julie said still staring out over the city.

Harry sighed. He started to walk to the coffee shop and turned and looked back at her. Her silhouette, her hair blowing in the wind. She was so beautiful to him. He wished she could really see that. He went into the shop got the hot chocolate and walked back to her. Probably took a total of about 15 minutes. She hadn't moved. He handed her the cup and stood behind her. He wrapped his free arm around her waist when she leaned back against him. "You ok, baby?"

"Yeah, I'm ok." She said as she sipped her drink. She sighed. "I know you want me to say more, Harry. I do. It's been a long month. I just want to enjoy being here for a while. Just want to feel the way I always do when I'm in your arms. And how I feel when I'm London. Away from it all."

"I know. I know all of that. And it's been a long month for me too. I wanted to be with you. I wish you would realize that." He said kissing her temple. "It's not easy for me being away from you either. I could tell you were pulling back from me the longer time went on. I could tell you weren't opening up about your feelings the way you had in Tahoe."

"Tahoe, Harry, was special. I thought I had lost you. I thought I had lost everyone, but mainly you. Everything was so new. I basically let everything pour out. I'm not sure that's the real me either." She rubbed her face and sighed and then turned to him, looking up into his eyes. "I'm not really sure who the real me is right now. I don't think it's the one that internalizes and deals with things on her own all the time, but I don't think it's the one that spills everything she's feeling either. I'm trying to find that balance. I don't want you to feel guilty for doing what you're doing either. So yes, maybe there are things I purposely kept from you so that I didn't make you feel guilty. But, let's face it. I need to learn to deal with it on my own. You can't be there. I'm not mad about it. I'm not upset about it. It's just the way it is."

He looked down at her. "I'm not asking you to open up completely all the time. Ok, maybe I was. This is hard for me. I didn't mean to fall in love when I did, but it's not like I could help it. I know this is going to be hell; even without you going through what you're going through, it would be hell. Add that in and I just don't know what to do. I don't want to see you close yourself off again. Please, don't pull back from me. Please." He reached out and touched her cheek. "If you're angry about things, if you're irritated, or annoyed, just, let me know. Don't pretend you're not. I don't expect you to be completely happy all the time. I just hate seeing you so, flat."

"That's not it. Harry. Please." She took a deep breath. He was pressing her, and she was trying really hard not to pull too far back, but she was also trying not to let the emotions completely control her the way they did when he'd left Tahoe. She shook her head and fought her tears. "I don't want you to go, Harry. Is that what you want me to say? I don't want to be alone for so long. I don't want to want you, and need you, and have you be halfway across the world. But, I also know how unfair that is, and how irrational that is. And constantly fighting with myself is exhausting. Getting upset and emotional about not having you here with me, and then angry at myself for not being understanding. I don't want to fight with you. I don't want you to feel guilty. I don't want you to be someone you're not. I just don't know how to deal with any of this."

"Well, that's a start." He looked into her eyes. He softly wiped a tear from her cheek. "I understand, Julie. Believe it or not. You don't think it bothers me when I seem to make you so calm, when I seem to make you feel safe and then I have to leave? I love you. It's what I want more than anything. I want you to feel safe. To feel loved. Wanted and needed. I struggled leaving you in Tahoe. I struggle through every phone call. I want and need to feel your hand in mine, your hands on my body. Your head on my chest. I long to wake up next to you every morning. I want to be there when your nightmares overcome your sleep."

"Harry, stop." Julie begged struggling to stop her tears.

"No, I won't. And you don't have to stop your tears." He lifted her chin to him. "It hurts me just as much. I need you just as much."

"What do you need me for, Harry? What have I given you in this relationship? Other than pain and sadness? Fear and worry? I just feel like I bring nothing. And the longer you're gone, the longer you're away from it, I'm afraid you're going to realize that. How much simpler it is without me." She licked over her teeth and sniffled blinking her tears. "I didn't want to do this. Especially not tonight. It's your birthday. I just wanted to surprise you and make you happy."

He was shocked. Once again, she took his breath with her confession. "You made me extremely happy." He set his cup down, stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her tightly into his chest. "I don't know why you think that. I know it's been tough. I know that you may not realize how much you have done for me. Julie, I've seen moments of you the first time we met. Even before we met. When Lottie told me the story of the pants. When you allow yourself to just be you, you're amazing. I fell in love with a funny, sassy, smart woman with an extremely complicated and horrible past. I can see through that. I see you. I wish YOU would see that."

"God," Julie said laughing a little through her tears. "You're so amazing. Where did you even come from? I have never met a guy or anyone as insightful and as kind as you." She looked up at him. "Can you just take me home now? We have 4 days. We don't have to figure all of this out tonight. Tonight is a celebration of you. Let's go do that. I still have your present." She had questions for him too. Like what he meant in Tahoe when he said they had talked about a break. But tonight, was not the night. Tonight, they would go back and celebrate his birthday.

"See, you're incredible." Harry kissed her lips. "Let's go home, Julie." He smiled at the thought. She said home. Not take me to your house. Yeah, he knew what she meant, but it sounded so nice. He took her hand and walked her back to the car. He smiled the whole way home.

Niall sat watching Amanda. She was watching tv, or so she pretended at least. She looked sad though. She was usually so upbeat and happy. Always the contrast to JJ's melancholy. At first, he'd wondered how those two were even friends because they seemed so opposite. But after watching them together, he realized it's what made them work. They evened each other out. Things were changing all around. "Princess, what's going on? Why so sad?"

Amanda forced a smile. "Oh, I don't know. I'm so happy you're here. I really am. I guess I'm just caught up in the fact that in 4 days, you leave, and I don't get to see you for what? At least 2 months? This past month was hard enough. And the month before Tahoe. It's just a lot. I don't mean to bring you down."

Niall got up and sat on the coffee table in front of Amanda. "You're not bringing me down. Don't think like that. I understand." He took her hands. "We are good together, Amanda. No distance is going to change that. I'm not looking forward to leaving either. This is probably the most conflicted I have ever felt about going on tour."

"No, Niall, that's not what I mean. I don't want you to think that. Or feel guilty. I love that you're you. Hell, who wouldn't Niall? I know what you do." Amanda sighed. "I just hate that you're so far away for so long."

"I know, Princess." He kissed her hands. "It's not going to be easy. I get that. I know that as well as you. I count on you, you know. You're the first person I want to talk too when something goes good, or bad. I think of you first in everything I do. I love you. And having you love me back has been the best thing ever."

"Oh, I think you got that backwards. You choosing to love me has been a dream. You are my dream guy, Niall, not just because you are in a band or a great musician, but because of your heart, your soul. Your kindness, your compassion. The way you've not only stuck by me, but stuck by JJ. The way you push her and know her even better than I do sometimes. Niall, there is no man in this world better for me than you."

"I didn't choose to love you. Amanda, it just is." Niall said pulling her up by her hands. "I just knew. It didn't take me long to love you. You're everything I need." He stepped closer and pulled her into his arms. "Loving you is by far the easiest thing I have ever done."

"Wow, see, you're incredible. Who even makes boys like you? Apparently, someone needs to teach some boys in the US the way they teach them in Ireland." Amanda said wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Nah, because then I would have had a harder time since they would have realized what they were missing and all come after you. Let them be jackasses." Niall said leaning in and giving her a kiss.

Amanda laughed. "That's my Niall. God, I love you."

"I love you too, Princess, no matter how far I am. We will have the best time the next 4 days. We got time my love. And we will work it out no matter what."

*if you are enjoying the story please vote/comment would love to be able to respond.

*the story is complete fan fiction