**Disclaimer: The next few chapters deal with some pretty raw emotions. Things you may or may not agree with written about the characters. References to real life events play a part but remember, as always, reactions of these characters are complete fiction..... proceed with caution

Niall opened the door and stopped and stared. He was confused; he couldn't even think. Amanda and JJ were standing in front of his door, in a hotel, in fucking Indonesia. What was happening? He shook his head when he heard Amanda talking. "Huh? What?"

Amanda laughed. "I said, can we come in?"

"What are you doing here?" Niall said still not moving aside.

"Niall, can we come in?" Amanda asked putting her hands on his waist and pushing him back into the room. She kissed him and looked at his face and laughed again. "Are you ok?"

"Yes, I think. What are you doing here?" He asked again. He was still in shock.

"Niall, breathe babe." Amanda said. "I will explain, but I kind of need you to hear me, and right now I don't think you would."

"Sorry. No, sorry." He grabbed her and hugged her. He was so glad she was here. Everything was crazy. He wanted nothing more than to have her here. He had tried to call her so many times the past day. She wouldn't answer. But why was she here? He'd like to believe she would just come to him, but he was set to go back to LA in less than two weeks. Why would she choose now? Why was she here? Why was JJ here? "What are you doing here?" He held her arms and stepped back.

"We know what happened, Niall. We know Zayn left." Amanda said looking up at him with understanding.

"You know? How? I've been trying to call you back since we got here. We found out he was leaving and got on a plane to come here. I haven't spoken to you. I know Harry hasn't spoken to JJ. I've talked to him. So how do you know? The announcement isn't supposed to come out until today or tomorrow or something." Niall asked. He was still shocked, still happy, and oh so curious.

Amanda looked back at JJ who just stood there looking at the floor. "JJ? Wanna tell him?"

Julie slowly shook her head. She looked up and took a breath. "Zayn called me. Right after you guys were told. He told me what happened and that he had just told you guys. We tried to call you and Harry, but you didn't answer. So, we just hopped the next plane to Indonesia. No big deal."

"No big deal? Why didn't you call us again?" Niall said giving them the side eye glance.

Amanda couldn't help but laugh at his glare. "Well, see, we aren't good at this world traveling thing, and we forgot to add international calling to our plan before we left. Our phones haven't worked since we left LA. We tried to get things hooked up at our connecting airport, but we couldn't do it online and we had no way to call."

"Well, I'm glad you're here, but I can't believe you couldn't have left a voicemail or something to tell me. I mean when you don't answer my call for 24 hours, I do get sort of concerned." Niall said looking back at Amanda.

"This isn't something you do over voicemail, Niall." Amanda said.

Julie interrupted. "I'm just gonna go wait for Harry in the hallway. Which room is his, Niall?"

"No, don't do that." Niall said. "Jesus, there's no need. I will text him and see where he is." He pulled out his phone and sent Harry a message. He almost immediately got a response back. "He just got back to his room. His room's at the end of the hall on the right. Do you want me to tell him you're coming?"

"No, I will take care of it." Julie said. She was nervous. She was concerned how Harry was going to be, how he was going to react. If Niall was this upset about Amanda not calling him and telling him, then how would Harry be? And now that he was probably more upset with Zayn, how would he take to the fact that was how she found out? "Be easy on her, Niall, we just wanted to be here for you guys when we found out. That's all." She grabbed her bag and walked out.

"JJ, Harry's having a harder time than the rest of us grasping all of this. Just to warn you." Niall said watching her go out. After he heard her say they just wanted to be here he turned to Amanda. "I get that." He said looking at her. "I get that's all you wanted to do. But I'm still a bit upset that you couldn't have even left me a message. All I got was a 'call me when you can', and that was it. I was worried." Niall said walking to grab a bottle of water.

"I understand, but, Niall, we didn't expect our phones not to work when we landed. We expected to be able to call you before we got on the connecting flight. All I thought about was you, and how you would be feeling, and how I just wanted to be here for you. I didn't think about anything other than getting here. JJ was the same way. So, I covered our shifts at work, and JJ got us tickets on the first flight out and we left. We called at the airport and neither of you answered, and we didn't think that this was something we should just leave on a voicemail. I'm sorry you're upset. But I'd do it all over again to be here." She said as she walked up behind him. She wrapped her arms around his waist. "I love you. I want to be here with you through this. I can stay with you through the end of this leg. We can go back together if you want." She said quietly leaning her head onto the back of his neck.

Niall took a deep breath. He was glad she was here. He wished it had been different. He wished he would have known, but she was here. She'd dropped everything to be here for him, because she thought he needed her. He did need her. This was all so confusing. And he felt like he'd lost a brother. Maybe the hurt would dissipate after a while, but for now, he felt lost. He set the bottle down and turned around quickly and pulled her into his arms. He nuzzled his face in her neck. He held her tightly around the waist, and he started to cry. He felt with her here that he could let it all out. He felt a little less lost, a little more at home. She was what he needed. He also needed to let it out. Thank god she was here.

Amanda wrapped her arms around Niall's shoulders and held him. He broke down. She understood. This was why she wanted to be here. She couldn't imagine how he was feeling. She didn't talk to Zayn much, but him leaving was a shock to her. She couldn't even imagine the shock Niall was feeling. "Let me just hold you. Come on, we'll lie down." She was tired, and he sure looked tired. Maybe they would rest better now that they were here together. They could talk later. They now had lots of time.

Julie walked down the hall slowly. She wanted nothing more than to be here, but she also knew Harry was going to be miserable. She'd seen him lose his temper just once, and barely. And he had been angry at her, but only over the phone when she came back from her treatment. It took a lot, but when he was angry, he was angry. She was hoping he would just let her be there for him. She knocked on the door. When she heard a muffled, 'go away', she knocked again. She heard hard steps towards the door and watched it fling open. It caught her a bit off guard. "Hi." She managed to say.

"What the fuck do you want?" He asked before his eyes focused on her. "What are you doing here?" What was she doing here? How did she get here? In Indonesia, and why would she come? He hadn't even had a chance to call her and tell her what was happening. "Why would you just show up here?"

"I will explain, but can I come in?" She looked back down the hallway. She didn't really want to do this with an audience, and there were always security members in the hall.

"Yeah, whatever." He said stepping back and letting her in, turning on his heel and walking back into the room without even shutting the door.

Yeah, he was angry. Now to determine exactly why he was angry. She put her bag down by the door and shut it. She walked up behind him and put her hand on his hip. When he stiffened up and stepped away, she stepped back. She didn't know what to say. She wasn't sure what to do when he was seething with anger.

"Why didn't you answer your phone? You leave me a voice message to call you and then you don't answer. And then you just show up here? You couldn't have left a message that said, 'hey I'm on my way'." He walked around the couch and leaned on the back, leaving her standing in the middle of the room. "And why would you come? Why now?" He had gotten suspicious.

"I, I wanted to be here for you." She stuttered. She wasn't good dealing with anger. She was determined, but this was the point where in her past, things had gotten very messy. She stood up straighter.

"How did you know I would need you, Julie? You come all the way to Indonesia when we're about to be on break. Why?" He looked at her. "Tell me."

She tilted her head and looked at him. "Zayn called and told me." She started to explain.

"He called you to tell you he's leaving the band?!" He stood up pushing himself aggressively from the couch. "Why the fuck would he call MY girlfriend and tell her he's leaving the band? Talk to him often, do you?"

"No, Harry, not often. We talk occasionally. We always have. I'm pretty sure you knew we were friends." She said quietly to him. She could see his muscles clenching through his t-shirt. He was fighting with himself over something.

"Friends? Really? And not often, but he decided to call you and tell you?" He stepped towards her. "You need to do a better job at explaining this to me. Because I've been calling you for 24 hours and haven't been able to reach you. My own girlfriend, but he calls and doesn't seem to have a problem." He stopped when she took a step back. "And when the fuck, are you going to realize that I would never hurt you?! Stop fucking cowering."

"I know you won't hurt me." She stopped stepping backwards. She hadn't even realized she was doing it. It was a reflex. She uncrossed her arms after realizing they were tightly crossed over her chest. She was instinctively protecting herself. She hadn't even realized it.

"Well, doesn't seem like it. Backing away from me like I'm going to do something. I'm not your fucking ex. Someday you might actually realize that." He stared at her.

She took a deep breath. He was angry. She got it, but by damn, if he needed to speak to her like that. He should know she didn't always have control over her instincts. "Yeah, well maybe if you would calm down a little, it wouldn't be so intimidating. You standing there, swearing and practically screaming at me. It doesn't exactly make me feel safe and secure."

"I would never fucking hurt you! No matter how angry I am!" He crossed his arms this time, tightly. He squeezed his hands into fists. He wanted to break something, but she seriously was standing there shaking. She was trying not to, but she was. He hated it. "Now, explain why you haven't had the time in the past 24 hours to call me and tell me you knew and were coming."

"After I got off the phone with Zayn," she started. She watched him cringe when she said it, but she had to continue. "I woke Amanda and told her. We tried calling you and Niall, but no one answered. We teamed up, and she covered work for us both, and I booked us on the next flight here. We got to the airport and tried calling again; that's when we left the messages to call us. We hoped you would call before we boarded. You didn't. We shut our phones off, and when we were waiting for our connecting flight, we turned them on to try and call you again and realized neither of us updated to international calling before we left. We couldn't even text. We tried to update it online, but the wi-fi wouldn't work. So, we had no way of getting ahold of you. And we just wanted to get here."

"Well you could have just left me a fucking voice message saying I'm on my way!!" He practically screamed at her. "Would it have been that fucking hard?!"

"First, will you stop fucking yelling and swearing at me? I mean seriously. Think maybe you may be overreacting a little bit? I'm standing in Indonesia FOR YOU for Christ's sake." She was annoyed. Seriously, she understood he was angry, but this was a lot more intense than she expected.

"Overreacting? Zayn just left the band in the middle of the tour, and I can't get ahold of the girl who swears she loves me for over 24 hours, and then I find out that Zayn calls YOU and tells YOU. I can't figure out why he would call YOU in the first place! Something I should know about?" He clenched and unclenched his fists, arms still tightly crossed. Every muscle in his body was tense with rage.

"Don't be ridiculous. It was a phone call, Harry. He said we should know." She still couldn't go towards him. She was trying to read him. She wanted to go to him. That's all she wanted. She came to comfort him, and she just wanted to hold him. It wasn't the time yet though. He was worked up. More worked up than she had ever seen him. "We've talked every now and again when he felt overwhelmed and like no one understood what was going on with him." She saw his eyes grow dark with anger. She shouldn't have said that.

"So, MY girlfriend understands him?! He calls MY girlfriend when he needs some comforting?! How the fuck can you not see a problem with that?" He glared at her. His breathing was becoming rapid. He was struggling with this and right now she was here. She was the one who was getting all his anger. It probably wasn't right, but he couldn't seem to help it.

"Because IT IS NOTHING!" She raised her own voice. "We talked about things that we just seemed to understand about each other! You USED to encourage that. You USED to be the one who knew he was struggling more than the rest of you. You NEVER had a problem with me speaking to him." She said. This was getting way out of hand.

"When I was there!! Why would he think to call you AFTER he fucking walks away from US! From the band, from his so-called brothers?! At that point don't you think maybe MY girlfriend is OFF LIMITS!" He screamed at her. He reached over and grabbed a vase from the table and whipped it at the opposite wall. It shattered and he took a few deep breaths.

"We're friends!! Jesus, Harry, he said maybe we could help YOU AND NIALL!" She said to him.

"Oh, he did, did he?? So, he fucking walks away and thinks he then knows how to make it better for me? For us??? Fuck him! And your friendship with him better be over now!! If you think it's ok to continue to talk to him now, you have another thing coming!" He clenched his fists again.

"Wow. This is insane. It was one phone call, Harry. He told me what happened. He said he had just told you guys. And that was it. I got home from work, got woken up three hours later with his phone call, we hopped on an airplane and came here. We haven't slept for almost three fucking days. All I wanted to do was be here for YOU." She tried to stay steady. Stay strong. But he was pissing her off. He was so out of control, and Harry had almost always been in control around her except for the one time in Florida, and that was NOTHING compared to this.

"Apparently, it hasn't just been ONE phone call, has it Julie? Apparently, you've been talking to him on the down low since when? The night we met? If it's nothing then why didn't I know about it?" Harry said stepping towards her again.

"I never hid it! It's never been a big deal, a few conversations here and there. It wasn't meant to be a secret!" She stepped back again her voice still raised. She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. "You know what, maybe you should calm down and then we can finish this. I don't know how to deal with this." She went to open the door. "I'm going to see how Amanda and Niall are."

He quickly moved to her and took her arm. He turned her and pushed her against the wall and looked down at her. "You will NOT walk out on me right now. I mean it; you walk out that door and you can just keep on walking."

She cringed and turned her head as he moved so quickly and closed her eyes when her back hit the wall. It took her a minute, but then she remembered where she was, who she was with. She straightened up and looked him square in the eye. Harry would NEVER hurt her, and she knew that. He didn't have it in him. "Are you done yet? Because if you are, all I want to do is hold you. I didn't come here for anything other than to be here for YOU. To comfort YOU, to hold YOU, because I love YOU." She emphasized to him. She was still annoyed at his reaction, but all she wanted was to be here for him.

Harry bit his lip when he saw her reaction to him pushing her against the wall. He shouldn't have done it. He should have known better. He was about to say something, when she surprised him by looking him straight in the eye. She was stronger. She was here. When she said those words, his anger turned to pain. He dropped to his knees in front of her and grabbed her waist. He buried his head in her chest and held her tightly. All of this was too much. He didn't know why his anger came so quickly and so hard. He still didn't understand any of this. He still wanted more answers, more understanding. But he wanted her here. That was the whole point. He started out angry when he couldn't get ahold of her when he wanted her, when he needed her; and now she was here, and he was angry still. "I hate this." He mumbled into her. "I fucking hate this." When he felt her drop to her knees in front of him, he looked at her face. He'd missed that face.

"I know." After she fell to her knees, she put her hands on his cheeks. "I know, you do. But I'm here. It's the only place I want to be." She kissed his lips and then his forehead. "It's not ok, but I will be here for you through whatever you need." She stood up slowly and helped him up. "I'm going to clean up the glass from the vase, and then I'm going to hold you whether you like it or not." She walked him to the couch and sat him down. She went and cleaned up the vase, and when she was done, she saw him sitting on the couch, head in his hands. She climbed onto the couch against the corner and pulled him back to her. "Let me be here for you now. It's all I want, Harry." She kissed his head when he lay back against her chest. She wrapped her arms around him and held him. She didn't speak; she didn't force him to speak. She just wanted him to know that she was here for him. They could talk when he was ready.

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*the story is complete fan fiction