I lied. Here's a list of all the things I love about you, including a few fetishes!

• Chest hair: Literally chair hair. You have so much chest hair. How do you have that much chest hair?

• Big spooning abilities: you are able to properly spoon me like a bear, even though you are actually a smol midget.

• OCD: your incapability of having a mess around benefits the both of us amazingly.

• Toilet paper hoarder: you buy literally eight rolls of toilet paper a week. Which is needed, because I have a very sensitive booty that needs extra care.

• Couponist: You are a coupon hoarder to the max, even though you're rich af. I like a man who saves his money ;) that means you can spend it on me instead. Jk. But not really. Buy me food.

• Car anatomy expert: Somehow you were given the magical powers of knowing exactly what's wrong with a car when something isn't working. I have a boner just thinking about all the mechanic terms you use when fixing my car ;)

• Toe heater: You allow me to use your legs as a heater for my icy toes that are for some reason always cold as sh!t. You must really love me, or else you would've chopped my toes off by now.

• Great Cook: HA we all know that's not true.

• First time specialist: I don't know why or how, but when we had our first time, you knew everything about safe careful sex? And I knew nothing? Glad you're smart or we'd both be screwed.

• Tamer of hair: I also suspect you were granted the magical powers of being able to fix my hair, even on the frequent mornings where I have baaaad hangovers.

• Sad Tom expert: You are a qualified expert on how to console a crying Tom, which is hard to find these days.

• Smol dick: HA we all know that's not true.

• Brave: Whenever we're in public and somebody uses a gay slur to piss us off, like fags or fairies, you always have a sassy comeback and a mental bitch slap intensely prepared. Works very effectively on homophobic assholes.

• Terrible Cook: Your ability to burn simple things like instant noodles, toast, and even cereal, has made me an excellent fire fighter.

• Blanket Collector: You own at least 50+ blankets. These are very important things to have when dating a Tom who gets cold easily.

• Secret Sexy Doctor: It's my belief that you are a secret sexy doctor in your downtime, because every time I get sick, you always know what to do to make me better and happier :3

The list is short, but only because I ran out of page room >:( the list of redeemable Jardon qualities are endless!! I could seriously never list them all.

Sometimes I really do think you are a gift from God himself, Jordan.

.:.:.:.

I'm sorry it's been so long since the last update, I've had a lot on my mind lately (which is no excuse, but it's the truth :p ) and writing has been at the bottom of the list of priorities for awhile. It's hard to write happy things when you're unhappy, but I'm trying my very best <3

Hope you guys enjoyed Tom's cite lil list and thank you so much for sticking with me, a very very uncommitted writer :3

- Lee