From: Felicity Drew.

To: Felix Hunter.

Have I ever told you about how excited mom was about that date? Because she was ecstatic.

She didn't care that we had both agreed it wasn't a date, she was just happy her daughter was blooming into a colorful butterfly. Whatever that means.

You didn't tell me where we were going, you just told me to dress casual.

Mom insisted on a cute casual dress, but it was sleeveless in case you're wondering why I didn't wear it. I ended up in my usual attire, jeans and a sweater. Mom said it was a cute sweater though, and she insisted on doing some weird braid to my hair.

I had no idea how I looked, but she said I looked beautiful. So did you when I opened the door for you.

I have to admit, the way you said it so shyly made my heart flutter.

You didn't bring a car and you refused to drive mom's when she offered lending it to you.

It's not like I cared, I had gotten used to walking places with you by my side. We didn't walk that far, you picked the classic 'movie and dinner' for our 'first date', and the movie theater wasn't that from home.

I remember how you couldn't stop talking about how much you loved film-making. You talked about your favorite directors and how it was your dream to be a part of a film-making team. In fact, the movie we were about to watch was by your favorite director.

I was fine with not talking much. I loved listening to your rants. I loved hearing the passion in your voice. It reminded me of a time when I used to be that passionate and excited about things I loved.

You were squirming in excitement the entire time. Even when we were getting the popcorn. I couldn't stop smiling when I realized that you hadn't even mentioned anything about the movie except for who directed it and the amazing equipment they used in production.

True to your words, the movie was great. The plot was amazing and it made me tear up just from the dialogue. Every time something cool would be on the screen, you would excitedly describe it to me with a whisper in my ear. And every time a romantic scene would come on you would keep telling me that that could be us but I'm a stubborn ninny.

You were the kind who talks even if you got your mouth sewn shut.

When the movie was over, we were both so full from the amount of popcorn we consumed that we decided to skip the dinner. But in your words, there is always room for ice cream.

I found out about your allergy for nuts that day, you were so sad that you couldn't try the hazelnut flavor I kept talking about. But, it was okay because they had mango flavor and that was your favorite.

We decided to eat in the park opposite the store. At that point, everything was going great. It was a fun evening, I was laughing, you were talking and everything was just amazing.

Until it wasn't.

I didn't really notice that I did this, but apparently, I got closer to you every time we would get closer to a stranger. And of course, you noticed. And of course, you had to ask about it.

I don't know what possessed me to tell you. The only time I had ever spoken about what happened was when I had to tell the cops. I had never even told the therapist, that was why mom was so insisting that I keep going to the sessions from time to time.

The atmosphere was quiet, there was a slight breeze and a tense silence hanging in the air. I remember setting the ice cream aside because suddenly there was no room for ice cream.

I didn't even think about it. I didn't even think that I might regret telling you about how that stupid party ruined my life.

About how I was raped when I was sixteen by a man only because I had the same skin and eyes as his ex-wife. How he drugged me into his car and tried to take me to God knows where only to get into a car accident.

I still don't know how I told you about it. The memories were suffocating me. I could hear myself crying and begging him to stop. I could feel my body lurching forward and breaking through the windshield. I could vaguely hear him cursing and trying to leave the car.

I could remember very clearly how it felt like to wake up in a hospital bed and realize that my sight was gone due to the shards of glass that damaged my eyes. And how my innocence was gone because of a monster of a man who was never caught.

I'll never ever forget what it felt like. I felt so...empty. I didn't cry, I didn't scream, I didn't complain. I just sat there and did nothing. Said nothing.

Because how could I complain when my own father blamed me for getting raped? He wasn't the amazing dad he once was, he turned into a bitter man who despised his own daughter. He hated me. He loathed seeing me or hearing my voice. Which is why he and mom got a divorce.

By the time I was done telling you, my voice was almost inaudible. I kept playing with my fingers and tapping my foot on the floor.

The image of that animal couldn't leave my imagination. And suddenly I felt cold. I felt unsafe and back at the porch of that stupid house, in that stupid party, and in front of that stupid car.

But then you wrapped your arms around me in a hug, and everything was gone.

All the time I spent not shedding a tear was thrown outside the window when I sobbed my eyes out in your shirt.

The memories were too much for me to handle. I hadn't thought about that night in months because I couldn't bear doing so, but somehow I could with you by my side.

And I know I never told you this, but thank you. Thank you for making me feel so comfortable with you that I decided to tell you. Thank you for being such a great friend and letting me cry for the first time since that night. Thank you for holding me so close and stroking my hair. Thank you for the kind words you spoke to me. Thank you for letting me hold you as tight as I would hold on for dear life. Thank you so much for making me feel better.

I love you so much for entering my life, but I hate you so much more for leaving it.