I was never one to hook up with people.

I'm just prefacing this next part of my life in that way. I didn't hook up with guys. I didn't even kiss guys I wasn't dating. It just wasn't in my nature, and honestly, the opportunity never provided itself. I didn't go to parties, so how was I supposed to even find people to hook up with? Stare at guys in the library until they got the hint?

I guess I'm saying this because I don't want to be judged. But then again, why do we even judge women for hooking up with guys? Why was that the first thing I thought of before writing about this next part in my life? Being judged? You wouldn't care if a man hooked up with a bunch of girls in college, but I can bet money if I didn't preface this like that, at least 34% of you would judge me. I pulled that statistic out of my ass, but still.

Then again, it's not like anyone is actually going to read this.

But anyways. Back to the point.

I wasn't usually one to hook up with people. I was a good girl. Did I already say that? Regardless, it's true. I had never done anything even remotely scandalous in my life before meeting Kennedy Abrams. She was this new person with a completely different life that I was absolutely dying to be a part of. I wanted to be like her in every sense of the word. So I tried to act like her. Starting with the things I began doing to make Kennedy feel like she could count me as one of her crew. One of the people she could joke around with and relate to about everything she did.

There were so many things I had to change to do that. I had to start drinking. I had to be okay with smoking pot every now and then. I had to do things that I'm not particularly proud of. And I use the word 'had' incredibly loosely, mind you. I was the only one forcing myself to do these things. But I was doing them because all I wanted was to be a part of Kennedy's glamorous world of parties and boys and sex.

So I also hooked up with people. And this was just a really long way of saying that I don't want to be judged for that.

It started at the 'Drew-Parley-advertisement' party.

><><

8:32 PM.

Rebecca had become a bit better at being fashionably late to Kennedy's events, despite her persisting desire to be there right at 8:00. But the reason for her desire for punctuality was twofold this time: she wanted to be around Kennedy, per usual. But she also wanted to make sure she didn't miss Kennedy saying anything potentially harmful about the new Instagram account. She didn't trust Kennedy's ability to be subtle about something she was so obviously excited about.

But she showed up thirty-two minutes late anyways, Celeste and Spencer by her side with Kaylie and Jamie trailing along behind the three friends, looking around as if they weren't sure whether or not they belonged.

For the record, they didn't. But Rebecca knew that she didn't either. So it wasn't her place to judge her roommates being there. She had invited them, after all.

"Rebecca!" Kennedy walked up to the group and gave Rebecca a huge hug as she did, looking at the people around her curiously. "I remember you two from last week, but who are you?" She asked, gesturing towards Celeste and Spencer with her first comment and Kaylie and Jamie with her last question.

"Kaylie Ernest." Kaylie introduced herself immediately, pushing in between Rebecca and Celeste to be in the front of the group, directly in front of Kennedy. "It's so nice to finally meet you, I have always felt like we would be amazing friends."

"Nice to meet you, too." Kennedy nodded politely while simultaneously shooting Rebecca a concerned look. "And you are?"

"Jamie Renner." Jamie answered quietly, seeming to hide behind Rebecca as she spoke, "Thanks for the invite."

"No problem." Kennedy replied, nodding slightly. "Well, go dance and meet people! Booze is on the counter, per usual, and food is on the kitchen table. And if you see anything suspicious, be sure to tell me or my roommates about it. No one is getting roofied under this roof."

Kaylie and Jamie nodded seriously before walking with each other over to the drinks, talking loudly about how great the apartment was. Celeste and Spencer wandered off with them, leaving Rebecca to talk to Kennedy.

"Those are the roommates who found the account?" Kennedy asked the second the other four were out of earshot, "You live with weird people."

Rebecca shrugged.

"Hey, I didn't choose to live with them. The only one I chose to live with was Celeste, and she's...normal."

Kennedy sighed.

"I guess that's true." She looked over her shoulder and seemed to spot someone she cared more to talk to, "I'm gonna go see what I can do about hyping this up. Subtly, of course." She grabbed Rebecca's hand and gave it a quick squeeze before letting go, "Catch up with me later, alright?"

Rebecca nodded silently as Kennedy ran off, her hand tingling slightly. She hated herself for that.

She walked over to the counter, where Celeste and Spencer were pouring themselves shots of something Rebecca didn't recognize.

"Want one?" Celeste asked over the music that was slowly increasing in volume, "We're gonna do shots and then go dance."

Rebecca shrugged and nodded. Something inside of her was ready to shed the good girl persona she had always embodied, and that seemed to have to start by doing what other people her age did.

Celeste handed her a shot glass full of clear liquid and downed hers quickly, Spencer following suit.

Rebecca looked at the tiny glass in her hand and didn't let herself contemplate anything before downing it in one gulp. Her throat burned instantly and she felt her eyes widen as Celeste and Spencer started laughing at her.

"How's it feel?" Spencer asked, "First drink?"

Rebecca coughed loudly before laughing along with her friends.

"It tastes awful. And it's not technically my first drink."

"Oh, right, your single beer at the party last week." Celeste rolled her eyes, "So your first drink drinking like an actual college kid. And it's not supposed to taste good." She shrugged, pouring them each another one, "It's supposed to make you feel good."

Rebecca nodded obediently as the three kept drinking, feeling her throat start to become numb to the sensation after a second. The three journeyed to the living room, where the dancing was in full swing and no one seemed to be concerned with exactly who they were dancing with.

The rest of the night seemed to simultaneously move in slow motion and at double speed. Rebecca remembered certain things. She saw certain things clearly, but everything else was so vague and fuzzy that she wasn't sure whether or not she had dreamed it. She remembered her vision getting blurry after a few minutes of dancing with Celeste and Spencer. She remembered feeling overly confident in herself and leaving her friends to go and dance with a guy who she thought was the most beautiful person she had ever seen. She was pretty sure he had wavy blonde hair that looked like the stereotypical surfer dude hairstyle and bright green eyes. They were beautiful. Maybe the beauty was in the eye of the alcohol, though.

She remembered dancing with the guy and then leading him over to the downstairs bedroom, the one reserved for Kennedy's illegal Airbnb guests. She remembered that she took him there, not the other way around. That was the strange part about it. Rebecca Eaves was evidently an incredibly flirty drunk. And her incredibly low tolerance didn't help matters.

She remembered closing the door to the bedroom and seeing an image right before she did. On the dance floor, dancing together, she was pretty sure she had seen Spencer kiss Celeste. But that was one of the things that easily could have been a dream.

She didn't remember much of what happened with the 'most beautiful person she had ever seen.' She knew that she ended up stumbling out of the bedroom twenty minutes later and collapsing on the couch. It felt like it could easily still be 9:00, but her Fitbit blared the time 1:49 at her before she passed out. The 'most beautiful person she had ever seen' was nowhere to be seen. Unless you counted the fact that he could very easily be seen with his tongue down the throat of someone who looked suspiciously similar to Kennedy.

A/N: Don't forget to check out the sneak peek at Chapter X.II on my blog! It's the external link for the chapter.

-Katherine