** Previously in

"Pregnant? Are you telling me she is pregnant? Now? With your child?"
"I don't know for sure if it's mine! But the others were!"
"Others? How many?"
"Three."
"Where are they?"
"Far away from here."

I felt how my mind went blank as I ran away. I went upstairs, feeling like I couldn't breathe anymore. I got outside and I could feel tears dropping on my cheeks.

Pregnant. She is pregnant. And I.. I... what have I done? But. I can't!
I ordered my men to take Xie and Abe to my bedroom and ask the family doctor to come in. Also for a gynecologist.

Maybe it's a boy. Yes! I could raise it as my own. Ours. I'm sure that... sure what, Jiro?
That she would ever love you? That you can pretend to be family?
Like I didn't see how that played out before!
If only I could let go of this love, this obsession. But either I ride with her, or I die with her!

***
Xie was surprised when she woke up in Jiro's bedroom and that Abe was sitting in a couch beside the bed and doctors were roaming around like busy bees.
"Abe..." she tried to get up when someone took her waist and made her sit on the edge of that big and fluffy bed. It was none than Jiro.

"How are you..." but he choked,the rest remained unsaid.
"Feeling? I had better days. But I'm still fine. But...." Xie wanted to grab her stomach, instead Jiro touched it, carefully picking her fingers into his palm.

"The baby is safe. You're also fine. As fine you could be now... Abe also got treatment."
"So... you know? But are you? Jiro?"
Xie had tears in her eyes. She didn't even knew she could still shed some. And for what reason?
"Don't cry... don't..." Jiro's face was flustered.

Xie then saw the fear and embarrassment in his eyes. The same fear and anger he had since they were litte. Before he got burned, when he still showed some human emotion.
She felt how her heart stang.

"How can I define what I feel for you? Why I depend on you? Sometimes I think about you to much. How should I feel for you? I feel that you love me like you're gonna die, not holding those feeling back, that's why, your love is killing me. Is this a fantasy?" She said those words without thinking about how Jiro would react right now.
He just stared at her, not knowing how to reply.

"Sometimes I wonder if all this is alright, I tried to always hold back my feelings, knowing they can end my life, so yeah, you're just killing me! I try to stop but I just can't relax. When I feel your touch, I know you can provide more."
Xie tears were now dropping on Jiro's hands also.

"When I'm without you, times moves to slow. Do you think you could stay? Cause if you leave, I can't help but feel despair.  I know these feelings are like a crime, you said that to me so many times. But now our beating hearts lie close.
But if you want to go away, I will give in. I just don't see you enough. I wish I had saw you enough. Just remember, I love to feel your touch. I want all your attention. Is that to much ?
You make my skin crawl when I get those little glances and my heart feels human again when our lips smash.

But I guess I did see it coming. You barley wished to try.
Just remember, you promised you would take me away, but now we don't have that option anymore,  so we have to fake everything, but let's put it all in the open.
I can read it all in your motions, the way you don't make a sound, when I'm sitting by your side. I got my own reasons I wanted to drag this to the end, but I suppose for you it seemed unfair? I just wished to feel those emotions again. But maybe now it's all over for me."

"What do you want me to say? That I had it good? Yeah, I'm good, I'm great! It had been I while since I felt so much pain! I've been popping drugs just to not reach to them, I've said so many lies, I don't even know what it's my reality. I always got up, waking up beside guys which names I could never remember.
I just need someone who could really understand me. And when I say that, you know I have seen it all. Uhh, you're already mine!

Jiro! But you don't need me like I need you! If I call you in the dead of night, I'm sure you'll be there.
But I just want to lay on my bed, wait for your touch, and wishing we never met. But is that an option? Can I spout such nonsense? So many questions.... You should ask for nothing! Say nothing more!"

"Maybe we are better on our own? Tonight I'm getting done .... I'll never wait for you at home. I wanted to say ... stay with me... cause I need you more than you need me. Pain is always an option. But say nothing more, Xie. I'm trying to feel nothing, I get to many questions. If we are fucking, are we just strangers?
I could be your man, but how would that end? I wanted to be by your side forever, eternity would not be enough for me."

"Do you remember the promise we made when we were young? Love me till the day I die? Well, now you have beaten me at my own damn game. Give it or take it, I see you're still wanting me. I will surrender my everything, so just call me baby again, and forget my name!
I always pushed you away, and you're just pulling me in. Yes, you need me.... All this time! I needed you! I wanted to have my last goodbye, but I can't handle you to call that to someone else... nobody can take my place!"

"This love, I will never let it die! It was never touched by no one! I'm a mad man, just for your touch! I will lose control... just to make it last forever. Remember, I love you for infinity! My soul, you know it aches for yours. You were mine since we were born, you're my paradise! I will do everything to be the love of your life, even if I have to sacrifice my life. I just know we will meet at the bottom of hell, where the time is frozen, wearing the same crown!"

Both Xie and Jiro were crying, while Abe got up and left the room. He saw the conversation they carried was to heavy and he had no place in it. He also advised the others to not approach Jiro's room.

"I wonder how I have been living. But I got this. I should just let it go, cause it's just a waste of time. She would never see me the way I look at her. The devil may lock my door, but I can't settle down. I always talk to myself but I can't stand it. I try to fucking close this shit, but I believe it's broken. Yeah, so funny! I'll be the first person to die of overdose? It may be nonsense, but I'm crushing my heart. The pain is to much so I need to crush some pills. I chased those dreams, and one day I promise you will see me again!

****
During this commotion, Jimin grabbed yn and Namjoon and they managed to arrive at the airport unnoticed. They flew back to Korea, but Yn was not ready to face everyone there or talk again about what happened.

"Guys... I will take another flight today. I...
I just can't come back here. Im not ready yet. It's to painful. I need... time."
"What?" Namjoon and Jimin asked both at the same time.
"Yes. I mean. I want to heal. I want to be free of my past. I need to be happy and I hope I can obtain the love I wished I could get. So, this time, I will take my time to feel ready for those choices."
"But." Jimin was whining.
"What about us?" Namjoon was also feeling brushed aside and again, not even asked how he feels about anything.

"Hmmm...." Yn was thinking hard.
"How about this? Jimin. You can fly with me to Italy? And spend some time together there?
And Joon, how about we meet in Greece? After I feel strong enough to fly there again. Would you be my support?"

"I'm going!" Jimin was fast to reply. Where should I buy the tickets to?
"Rome. We will travel a bit."
"Ok! I'll go book the first flight!"

"Yn...." Namjoon grabbed her hand.
"Are you sure you won't stay for a few days? What am I gonna tell the others?"
"I don't truly care. I need to get away, from this all. I need to heal. Please. Wait for me. I promise I won't forget about it."

"Ok. I won't forget also. Just promise me. Be safe and don't be afraid to refuse Jimin. Don't try things out of compassion or cause you're scared. He shouldn't be your rebound."
"I'll try. Namjoon? Just don't think to much about this. Also, maybe you should also take time to think how you're feeling?"
"I will do so."
Joon wanted to hug Yn but she took a step back. He could feel how his heart breaking in that moment.

"So, I'm not even worth a slight touch? What was I expecting? Like I could ever be the one to be picked....
With my personality... I wonder, could we even be friends?" He was thinking, while Jimin was back asking for Yn papers.

"Goodbye! See you, when you're ready to give it a try..." Joon mumbled and headed to the exit.
"Goodbye? Namjoon!" But he didn't turn back, even if he heard Yn yelling his name.
He just couldn't.

******
{5 days later}

Namjoon was assaulted by others with million of questions, but he was not having it. He felt lost and abandoned. All he could think was this all should be just a dream. He started his rigorous gym routine again and started writing lyrics.

Jungkook and Taehyung could barely be in the same room together. They wanted to repair their relationship, but weren't ready for that big step yet.

Beomyong disappeared, he was last time spotted in Hong Kong, trying to clean this mess and surveilling Sun Yee.
Whom was more than furious and ready to kill Xie, if he saw her right now.
(Would he? Or was that just acting? What if they were just pretending?)

Abe was exiled from Japan but given a severance payment, allowed to start a new fresh with his children. Xie agreed to remain by Jiro side and announced the unborn baby as his. But, he wasn't. And not even Abe was the father.

"Should I tell him? Maybe it would be better not to be known." Xie was wondering, being scared and worried.
"Just another country, same prison. Would I ever be free? How I wished I was like a commoner."

"Baby, what are you thinking about? Your face, you're gonna get wrinkled."
"Yaaaa!!! Babe! I won't! Look at me! I'm flawless!"
"Of course, you are! So?"
"Ohhh. I just wondered. How should we name our baby?"

"Hmmm... tough question. I would like Ryuichi if it's a boy and Himari if it's a girl."
"Those sound lovely. Let's go with both."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I'm expecting twins."
"Wonderful news!" Jiro was smiling.
"Yeah... wonderful!" Xie gave him a big smile, but her insides were screaming.

"Am I ready to be a mother? Can I live the rest of my life bounded to Jiro? Why me? What have I done to deserve this?
And him, what is he doing now? The father of my children. I hope at least you could be happy and have a normal life!"

***[A few days after ]

YN was in Venice with Jimin. They had a lovely vacation until now and explored a few cities and.olaves where YN grew since she was little.
Jimin was absorbing all the information and he felt like he was on the clouds.
He knew all this didn't mean YN would decide he is her partner, but he felt loved. More than the others, who where still boiling for news and wondering when YN will decide to come back to Korea.

YN was expecting for Joon to text her all this time, but not a single message came her way.
She got lots of messages from Taehyung and Jungkook instead.
Yoongi also, but his were short and not demanding any answers she was still not ready to give.

"Jimin. Are you ready to go visit Padova this time?" YN was giggling while feeding come peageons.
But Jimin was still thinking about Xie and Abe. What are they doing? How was she feeling? Her baby? What was it? Could it be his? Would she even tell him if it was a chance to be?
"Jimin yaaa.."
"Yeah.. what yn?" He found himself replying rather cold.
" I-i was asking you.." YN was took by surprise.
"I think it's time I go back. How are your plans with Joon going?'

"Go back? What does he mean go back? Us? Only him? What are we even? All this time he never made a move on me. He only cared about the baby. It's Ike I don't even exist right now." YN was thinking.

"Sure. Everything goes as we planned." YN lied to Jimin.
"That's awesome. Then I should book my flight. Are you tired" Jimin didn't think she would lie to him.

Yes, he didn't chat with Joon about YN and their meeting in Greece, but still they texted all this time back and forth and getting information about the other guys and he also gave news about YN.

YN didn't make a sound, she said she needs some rest and she decided that it's to early to face Joon in this moment.
She always had this issue, when things went out of control, scared of changes and new people existing in her environment, she would rehghter ran away, than face the truth and fight for what maybe she wished, but never said.

Pretending to arrange her meeting and trip to Greece, she departed with Jimin, but her ticket was not with the destination she said it would.

She was going somewhere, far away, where no one would be able to trace her.
Why? Because she needed that familiarity.
This will turn out to be the worst decision she could make, which she will regret all her life.

But who can tell when you should stop following the ghosts from the past and focus on your future?
If you can't break free from it?