So if you ever fall
You know that I'll be there
I know how to put my ego aside...

:6LACK

RICO

I set the eggs down on the table. They didn't look right, but it was the best I could do. Amarah had a tough time yesterday. She told me to take her home during lunch. The rumors were terrible and I hated that for her.

Niya hasn't spoken to her since the incident. She cried all night about it. Today, I was going to take her too her house. She wanted to pick up a few clothes and say hello to her siblings.

"Rico! Tha stove is on fi'a!"

I turned around and saw the pan in flames. I grabbed the fire extinguisher and quickly put it out. Amarah covered her mouth with her shirt. I fanned the air trying to get through the smoke.

"Ya gotta be mo' ca'eful. We coulda burnt down Ricotta."

I chuckled, "I was trying to make you breakfast. I know Jordan did that a lot."

She walked over to the table and saw the plate. It consisted of eggs, bacon, some grits, and a piece of sausage. Immediately she put her hand over her mouth and ran to the trash can.

I ran after her. I pull her wig back. She threw up as I patted her back softly. I knew this all too well. She had morning sickness, or maybe my cooking was just really that bad. She pulled herself up and wiped her mouth on her sleeve.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Tha smell just knocked me."

"I'm sorry. We can go to waffl-"

"It's not ya fault. Let's try ta eat this. If it don't work out we can get somethin else."

I pulled her chair from under the table. She sat down and said a quick prayer over her food. I smiled as she stuck the fork into the eggs.

"Who taught ya how ta cook this?"

"My sister owns a restaurant. She used to cook a lot when I was younger. I picked up a few things."

She stuck her fork in her mouth. Her mouth made a slight frown as she swallowed.

"Ya need ta pick up some seasonin'. What ya put on this?"

"I put some herbs and a pinch of salt."

She picked at the herbs in the eggs. A quiet giggle escaped her mouth.

"Ya just like Jordan. He was always putting this grass shit in his food."

"It's not grass Amarah. It's a herb. They provide flavor."

"Ya need some fuckin weed in this shit. It's bland ricotta."

"I'm sorry I can't cook to your standards."

She placed her hand on top of mine. Her touch was cold. She caressed the side of my finger.

"Ya cooking is fine. Just make su'e ya marry a bitch without tastebuds."

"I will definitely do that."

"Speaking of bitches, how ya girlfriend doin?"

"Her swelling is going down. She's got her nose reconstructed last night."

"I thought ya said ha nose wasn't broken?"

"She's been looking for a reason to get her nose done. This was the perfect reason."

She gently shook her head and stood up. I grabbed her plate and emptied it out in the trash can.

"So what's the agenda for today?"I asked as I placed the dishes in the sink.

"Well I plan on stoppin by ma' house. Niya agreed ta come ova hea' today. I hope that's okay. I ain't een ask ya, ma bad."

"Mi casa, es su casa. I don't mind. You need a little company either way."

"I hope ya kna she bringin Gerald."

"What's wrong with Gerald?"

She giggled, "Ya will see."

She walked out of the kitchen. I laughed as I rinsed the dishes off. She was always leaving me hanging, but I didn't mind it. She kept my mind off the only thing I could think about.

AMARAH

"Walking out of time
Looking for a better place
Something's on my mind
Always in my headspace,"Rico sung softly in the bathroom.

I opened the door as he washed his face. I shook my head at his terrible music. He was always listening to Billie Eilish, and I couldn't stand it. I reached across from him and grabbed my toothbrush. He handed me the toothpaste.

"But I know someday I'll make it out of here
Even if it takes all night or a hundred year-"

I pressed the skip button on his phone. He looked down at me with a grim face. I smiled with the toothbrush in my mouth.

"I didn't tell you to change that Armadillo."

"I'm ti'ed of listenin ta that shit. It's so depressin."

"It's not depressing. It speaks a story that I can relate too."

I picked up his phone. He tried to snatch it out of my grip, but I pulled back. I typed in some music in his search bar. He kept reaching for his phone but I wouldn't let him.

"Amarah give my phone back."

"Nigga calm down. I'm not goin through ya shit. I just wanna play ya some music."

I pressed play. The beat kicked in. I danced as I brushed my teeth. He watched unamused.

"How much money you got?"I rapped along.

He just stared at me. I danced around as I rapped. A smile started to form on his face as I held my toothbrush. I put it to my mouth and acted like it was a microphone.

"Everyday that I'm alive, ima ride with the stick,"I rapped. "This my favorite part- I'd rather be broke in jail than be dead and rich."

"Why do you listen to this trash music?"

"Come on Ricotta. Ya kna ya like it. Ya dyin ta sing along."

"No, I'm really not. That's the last thing I would like it do."

The music stopped. His phone buzzed on the counter. I picked it up and saw his mothers name. I handed it to him. He nodded at me and walked out. I shut the door behind him.

Once he was gone I put my ear to the door. Since I've been here I haven't met his mother. He claims she comes in late, but I never hear her. I know she doesn't live here.

"I'm off to my baseball game mama. I'll be home for dinner tonight...Coach is lying...You know I'll never quit...Dad is home?...Yeah I'll be home for dinner...I might bring a friend...You'll like her mama. She's not Toni...Alright, I won't...Love you too, bye."

I ran back to the sink and acted like I was washing my face. The door opened. He didn't say anything as he walked in. He just looked down and clenched his fist.

"Everything 'Ight?"

"We're leaving in ten minutes."

He stormed out of the bathroom quickly. I didn't say anything. I just continued to get ready. I ran my finger through the wig I'd been wearing for the past week. I hated this wig so much. I touched up my the light makeup had on.

Jordan always hated makeup on me. He claimed that it took me too long to get ready. I can do my makeup really fast, but my wig is a whole nother story.

I took a quick picture of myself and posted it on snap. Once i was done with that, I slipped on my shoes. Rico stood by the door twirling his keys in his hand. His attention was turned towards his phone.

"Let's roll,"I shouted as I opened the door.

He jumped and quickly slid his phone into his pocket. If it was anyone else I would've said something, but I kept to myself. Rico's girlfriend problems were the least of my worries.

He opened my car door for me, and I got inside. I plugged up my phone and turned on my podcast. Rico loved podcast, and I did too. They were so entertaining.

"Is it ight if we finish Kehlani's last podcast? We have like thirty minutes left."

"Yeah,"He responded dryly.

The car ride to my house was silent. The only sounds were Kehlani's voice. I rubbed my growing stomach as she talked about pregnancy.

Truthfully, I was scared. I didn't know how I was gonna take care of any kids. I could barely take care of myself, and here I am going to be a mama.

I've always been scared to have kids. It was never in the plans I had for myself. I didn't want to end up like my biological mother. She left me, and when it was convenient, she came running back. I never want to be in someone's life when it's convenient.

"Amarah, we're here,"Rico mumbled.

I looked over at him, "Ian e'en kna. Ma' bad."

"I said it like ten times. You have to pay more attention."

I didn't say anything. I opened my car door and took in the presence of my house. The twins came running out of the house yelling. I hadn't seen them since I left, and I was excited to see them.

Nala walked out behind them. Her face lit up when she saw me. Even though we didn't get a long, we still loved each other. I don't know how she was surviving without me, because I wasn't surviving without her.

I hugged all three of them at the same time. They cried tears of joy in my ear. I smiled as tears streamed out of my own eyes.

"Where have ya been?"Danny asked.

"Minding ma business."

"Why'd you run away?"Phrey asked.

"Why did you leave me with these two?"Nala asked under her breath.

I laughed, "I missed y'all a lot."

"Im glad your back. Let me give you a rundown of what's been going on,"Phrey whispered in my ear. "Nala's failing math. Danny's teacher had given up on speech therapy for him. Daddy sleeps on the couc-"

"Is that who I think it is?"Mama shouted.

I pushed Phrey off of me and ran to her. My bond with my mama has always been strong. Even though we didn't get along most of the time, we still loved each other. I know it killed her when I left.

"Marah,"She cried in my ear. "I thought we lost you for good."

I pulled back from our hug. I looked her in the eyes. She looked tired. Bags say under eyes. She didn't even have on a wig. Her wig cap was slightly tilted and revealed her hair.

"Ya kna I wouldn't do that ta ya mama."

The door to the house opened. My father stumbled outside with a bottle in my hand. I cringed at the sight. He was dirty and disgusting.

"What ya doin hea'?"He shouted at me.

Mama shook her head, "Can you be happy our daughter is safe?"

"How long he been like this?"

"Ever since you left."

"She needa leave."

"Andre Harper! I've let you get away with plenty of bullshit, but I will not let you do it today. You will not push our daughter out for her choices."

"Ian ask ya what ya think. I said she needa leave. Get ya shit and go."

"Thats exactly what I came ta do daddy."

I pushed past him and walked to my room. It was torn apart. My posters were ripped apart on the floor. My clothes were scattered on my bed. My computer screen was smashed.

My eyes trailed the line of torn pictures. Tears fell from my eyes as I picked them up. Every picture I had with Jordan was ripped up.

"Damn,"Rico spoke softly. "I can just buy you some new clothes Amarah. You don't have to come ba-"

"If I knew a baybeh would cause this much trouble I woulda gotten rid of it."

He grabbed my shoulder and turned me around. I looked him in his brown eyes. His face was soft, and his eyes gave me a pleading look.

"The baby isn't causing the trouble Amarah. Don't put anything on that innocent child. Whatever the fuck your father has to say is up to him. He's the trouble."

"Ya just don't unda'stand. Daddy gives me hope."

He placed his hands on the side of my face. His thumbs wiped away my tears slowly. He gave me a bright smile.

"This baby,"He placed his hands on my stomach, "Is your hope. That's your hope Amarah. We're going to do the best we can to raise this hope. We're doing this for Jordan."

I smiled softly. He grabbed my hand and pulled me up slowly. I ran my hands across the dresser. It had accumulated some dust and dirt. I opened the last drawer and pulled out my only picture with Jordan left.

He was behind me and I went down the water slide. I had a bright smile on my face, and his was even brighter. His hands were tightly wrapped around my waist. I held onto his arms.

"Jordan loved ta swim,"I whispered.

"Trust me I know. We've been taking lessons since forever. He even did some water polo."

"Jordan?....water polo?...unbelievable."

He chuckled, "Jordan was a free soul. He didn't care what people said, or thought. He lived for hisself and God."

I slipped the photo in my pocket. I looked up at Rico. He smiled softly.

"A'ight ricotta, let's get goin. Niya gon be comin soon."

***

RICO

"Rico! Somebody's at tha doo'!"Amarah shouted.

I looked over at her sitting on the couch. I shook my head and went to the door.

"You can get up,"I mumbled under my breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing,"I laughed.

I opened the door. Niya stood there with her arms crossed. Gerald stood behind her with a mug on his face. Before I could even get a 'hello' out, Niya pushed past me and walked into the house.

"Well buenas tardes to you as well,"I mumbled.

"What you say nigga?"

I looked at him like he was crazy. I know he wasn't talking to me in my house like that.

"I think you forgot this is my house. I'll say what I want to say. If you don't like that you can march up off my porch."

He didn't say anything for a few seconds. Then a smile popped up on his face.

"Amarah rubbing off on your ass,"He chuckled. "I'm Gerald."

I held my hand out for him to shake. He pushed it down and walked into the house.

"All of this is so unfair,"Amarah cried.

Niya pulled her in for a hug, "Fuck Mr. Harper. We gon raise this baby right. You got me, Gerald, and that rat ass nigga over there. We gon give this baby the world and so much more Mar."

"She's not wrong. I know how to change diapers. Ian changing no shitty diapers, but I'll change a diaper."

"Gerald..."Niya gave him the side eye.

"I'll change the shitty diapers,"I chuckled. "Niya's right though. You got all of us."

"I love y'all,"Amarah whispered.

Gerald looked around, "Y'all the sky must be falling. Amarah just said she loves us."

Amarah hit his shoulder, "Shut tha hell up asshole."