The dove fell out of the hat as soon as I picked it up. Unbelievable!

I looked to the wings where my assistant stood with a small, mean smile on her face. Oh oh.

I could accept that the birdcage collapsed ahead of schedule. It had a tricky latch. That could have been a mistake. But the dove not being in the secret pocket? That was no mistake, that was deliberate.

I made up some patter and vanished the bird. Then I finished the set with some close up magic. I did not dare to have Samantha bring out any more magical apparatus until I knew what was going on.

I am the house magician at a dinner club in St Louis. Samantha is my 'Beautiful Assistant' and also my girlfriend. She was strategically absent as I came off the stage.

I usually do three sets a night. I had had no problem with the first set. So what had changed? I thought back over the last hour. One thing I knew. If I didn't get to the bottom of this, there was no way we could do the third set. It was too dangerous. I could die.

I tracked her down in the dressing room she shared with the dancers and waitresses. For the moment we were alone. "I heard the girls talking in here. I know what you have been doing with Bonnie". Bonnie is a dancer. She is slender with a pretty smile. I was designing a new effect around her, but that was all. There was nothing else between us. Sam is gorgeous and I have no intention to replace her in the act. I told her all of that.

"Why can't I do this new trick?"

Oh oh. Problem area. How do I tell her that her hips, and other parts, are too big? She would likely point out that I think those parts are just fine in the evening. I say instead that I love her and that the act is dangerous. I could not bear it if I hurt her. Also, that I needed her onstage to help with the presentation. I can't tell if this has calmed her down, but it is time for the third show. Most of the tricks go smoothly but there are just enough snags to let me know she is still miffed. I have to decide if we will do the finale.

I decide to trust her. TSMGO. I tell the audience what we are going to do. Sam will shoot a bullet at my head from across the stage. The bullet will first puncture a balloon and then I catch it in my teeth. While I set the stage, Sam loads the gun. I can only hope she puts the trick bullet in the right place. We take our places and she glares at me. I smile in reply.

She picks up the gun and takes a deliberate aim at my crotch. There is a wicked smile on her face. The audience gasps. Then, quickly she raises the gun and pulls the trigger. A loud bang. Another gasp. The balloon breaks. My head jerks back in reflex.

I almost forget to produce the bullet. As I spit it into my hand, Sam blows me a kiss.