Billy Rideout walked over to the table where Cameron Penny had been sitting alone for the last half hour.

"Youse looks like youse lost, me son."

"I am waiting for someone."

He looked at the time on his cellphone.

"They seem to be running late."

Billy sat down, uninvited.

"Well, me son, whose youse be waitin' for."

"Matty Dove."

Billy nodded.

"And what does youse wants with our Matty?"

Cameron smiled.

"I used to be engaged to Matty at one time. Me and her were pretty hot and heavy."

"So youse be 'ere in da Bay to breaks up Matty and Bill?"

Cameron shrugged.

"I am actually here on business, but if I can win Matty back, bonus."

Billy looked at his cellphone quickly.

Cameron noticed many of those in the bar doing the same.

"Must be interesting."

Billy shrugged.

"Wes 'aven't 'ad decent cellphone service 'ere for a long time. It still bes a bit of a fun ting for most of us. Youse knows, those group texts and such."

Cameron nodded, thinking to himself that it would be a breeze making these backward baywops agree to his proposal.

"So. I haven't introduced myself."

"Cameron Penny," Billy said quickly, smirking.

"Dere bes no secrets 'ere in da Bay."

At that moment, Bill walked into the Pub, Jarge and Mable with him.

Cameron laughed.

"Now there is a sight that you don't see very often."

Billy turned around.

"Dat bes Willam and 'is pets."

Cameron finished his beer.

"Is he a little ..."

Cameron made a circular motion around his ear.

"Willam?"

Billy nodded.

"Yea, 'e not bes all dere sometimes."

Cameron watched as Lindsay put a plate of sardines in front of the two seagulls.

"Isn't that against health code."

Billy turned around quickly.

"Better den 'avin' dem eat off the floor."

Yolanda walked to the table.

"So, can I get another round for youse fellas."

She rubbed Cameron's shoulders.

"Especially youse, handsome."

Cameron smiled and patted Yolanda's hand, on his left shoulder.

"Sure thing beautiful. I'll have another Stella and ..."

He looked at Billy.

"I didn't catch your name."

"Ise don't remember throwin' it."

He looked at Yolanda.

"Ise will 'ave another Black 'orse, love."

Cameron looked at his cellphone again.

"Youse gonna wear dat ting out, me son."

Yolanda returned with the beer.

"Okay boys, whose tab?"

"Me buddy Cam wants to buy Ise dis one," Billy smirked.

Cameron looked up at Yolanda.

"Sure."

"Okay," she smiled, as she put the beer on the table.

"Can Ise get youse anything else."

"Your number would be nice," Cameron winked at her.

He held up his beer.

"Seems like I might be staying the night here and I could use some company."

Yolanda leaned forward resting her hands on the table.

"Its zero."

Cameron looked confused.

"Zero?"

Yolanda stood up again.

"Yes. The chance you have of getting my number. Zero."

She turned and quickly walked back to the bar.

"Well," Cameron huffed.

"That was kind of rude."

"Yea, Yolanda bes likes dat. She's can be a bit of a bitch sometimes."

"I have a better word than that for her."

"Well, ifin Ise were youse, Ise keeps dat word to meself."

"And why is that?"

"Cause dat scrappy man dat bes pullin' up a chair bes her Daddy."

Ryan Pike turned a chair around and sat at the table.

"Now, me son, what does wes 'ave 'ere?"

Yolanda walked back to the table and passed her father a beer.

"Here, Daddy."

She kissed Ryan on the cheek.

"Tanks youse, me love."

Yolanda looked at Cameron.

"So does youse still wants my number, mister?"

Ryan leaned forward.

"Youse tryin' to put da makes on me little girl?"

Cameron's cellphone rang. He saw Matty's name come up.

"I have to take this."

He started to get up, but Ryan put his hand on his arm.

"Youse can take it 'ere. Wes don't mind."

Cameron sat back down.

"Matty?"

He nodded.

"No, I understand."

He continued to nod.

"Sure, I can wait."

He forced a laugh.

"No, several of the villagers are keeping me entertained. See you soon."

"So, Cameron. What's yer business 'ere in da Bay, other den tryin' to get my little girl?"

"I do apologize for that," Cameron stuttered.

"I certainly didn't mean any disrespect to your daughter."

"Best youse didn't."

Ryan took a mouthful of beer and lit a cigarette.

"I don't think you can smoke here, its against ..."

Cameron's voice trailed off, as he noticed many of the patrons, in the Pub, smoking.

Ryan took an ashtray off the table behind him.

"So, Mr. fancy pants. Youse didn't answer my question."

"Yes, me son," Bill repeated, as he joined the others, at the table.

"Whats bes youse doin' 'ere in da Bay?"

"Well, I don't know if I can divulge my business."

"Divulge away," Bill insisted.

"Ise sure wes won't mind. Will wes boys?"

"Not at all, Willam," Billy smirked.

He looked at Cameron.

"Ise answer Willam, ifin Ise were youse. 'es not bes all dere."

"I am here to see Matty Dove."

Bill sat back in his chair.

"Matty bes so pretty. Ise 'as a crush on 'er."

Billy patted Bill's back.

"Now Willam. Youse knows dat Matty bes Mr. Williams' woman. And 'e bes da boss."

Lindsay shouted from the bar.

"Willam? Your gulls jest shit on da barstool."

Bill slammed his beer on the table, causing it to foam up and over the top.

Cameron pushed back in his chair, as the beer foam spilled on the table.

"Fuck. That nearly got me."

"Fuckin' birds," Bill barked as he got up from the table.

"Ise comin' Linny."

Cameron watched as Bill walked to the bar. Lindsay passed him a roll of paper towels and seemed to be scolding him.

"Unbelievable. Why would you allow that man in here with those filthy birds?"

Ryan watched as Bill cleaned up the shit and then walk the two gulls out through the door.

"Willam bes 'armless, me son. And dem gulls bes 'is only friends sometimes."

Bill returned to the Pub and walked back to the table, just as Yolanda was cleaning up the spilled beer.

"Now, Willam. Wes told youse a hundred times, not to be makin' a mess."

Bill hung his head.

"Sorry, Landa."

Yolanda walked around the table and hugged Bill, kissing the top of his head.

"That's okay, sweetie. I'll get youse another beer."

Bill smiled.

"Tanks Landa."

Yolanda left to get Bill another beer.

"Ise likes Landa.  She's bes a nice girl."

Ryan smiled at Bill.

"She's bes likin' youse too Willam, but remember, she's not bes your girlfriend."

"Ise knows," Bill sighed, sadly.

Yolanda returned with another round of beer for the table.

"Ise put it on your tab, Mr. Penny."

"But ..." 

Cameron was about to protest, when he looked at Ryan.

"Sure, why not."

Bill took a pack of cigarettes from his shirt pocket and lit it, blowing the smoke into Cameron's face.

"Hey asshole," Cameron snapped.

The Pub suddenly went silent.

Bill put his hands to his face and pretended to cry.

Cameron looked around the Pub.

"He blew smoke in my face. Its just that I don't smoke."

"Maybe its bes time youse started," Billy suggested, holding Bill's pack of cigarettes toward him.

Cameron shook his head.

"No. I have never smoked."

Billy took out a cigarette out and passed it to Cameron.

"Smoke."

"Look. I know my rights. You can't force me to smoke."

Michael Simpson walked to the table and stood behind Bill.

"Youse made our little buddy 'ere cry. I wud be 'avin' a smoke ifin Ise were youse."

Cameron looked up at the huge man and swallowed hard. He took the cigarette from Billy and put it in his mouth.

Ryan flicked his Bic and held it toward Cameron.

Cameron leaned forward and puffed on the cigarette. As soon as the smoke hit his throat, he began to cough. Cameron grabbed his beer and drank quickly, gasping for breath.

"Now doesn't that feel good?" Michael enquired.

Cameron nodded, as he took a small puff on the cigarette, quickly blowing the smoke out.

"Perfect," he coughed.

Michael patted Bill's shoulders.

"Now, Ise tinks youse owes Willam an apology."

Bill took his hands from his face and wiped his eyes, staring at Cameron.

Cameron looked around the table.

"I am so sorry, William."

"Willam," Bill barked back at him.

"My name is Willam."

"I am so sorry, Willam, if I hurt your feelings. It certainly was not my intention."

Cameron looked past Michael, to see Matty walk into the Pub. A slight smile came to his face.

"'e bes laughing at me," Bill snapped, pointing at Cameron.

"No. No," Cameron protested.

"I just saw Matty walk into the Pub."

Bill turned.

"Matty," he yelled.

Matty smiled and waved to Bill, as she ordered a beer.

Cameron watched her, but was a little confused, as he saw her talk to the two seagulls, at her feet. The two gulls jumped up on the stool and sat side by side, facing their table.

"Matty bes my girlfriend," Bill informed Cameron.

Cameron smiled.

"I am sure that Matty likes you."

"She is my girlfriend," Bill protested, slamming the full beer on the table. It literally exploded, like a volcano, the foam spilling over Cameron.

Cameron jumped to his feet.

"You asshole. This is a two hundred dollar shirt."

Bill sat back in his chair smiling.

"What the fuck are you smiling at?" Cameron barked, his temper taking over.

He wiped his shirt with a napkin, watching as Matty walked toward the table.

"Its fucking ruined."

"I see you have your temper under control."

"That ... that ... imbecile spilled beer all over me."

Matty leaned down and kissed Bill on the lips.

"Did you spill beer on Mr. Penny."

"e was mean to me and 'e yelled at me. 'e made me sad."

Matty laughed.

Bill rolled his eyes.

"Don't say it."

He looked at the men at the table.

"I thought it was pretty good."

Michael patted Bill's shoulders, laughing.

"Youse gettin' better boss, but youse still gots a way to goes."

Billy and Ryan stood up, fist bumping Bill, as they did.

"Thanks boys," Matty said, kissing them both on the cheeks.

She looked around the Pub.

"Thanks all of you."

Everyone raised their drinks.

Matty looked at the bar.

"A drink for everyone, Lindsay."

She looked at Cameron.

"And put it on Mr. Penny's tab."

Cameron slumped in his chair.

"Fuck."

Matty sat on a chair next to Bill.

"I see you are still making friends."

"This was a setup. Thats why everyone here were constantly on their cellphones. You were texting them."

"We have a village wide group text. Comes in handy when we need to get in touch with everyone," Matty informed him.

"After all, we are one big family here."

Yolanda wiped the table and put another beer in front of Bill.

"Try not to waste this one, Willam."

She kissed his cheek and glared at Cameron.

"I need your credit card, fancy pants."

Cameron took out a gold credit card case and passed a card to Yolanda.

"Well thank you, Mr. Penny."

A surprised look came to her face.

"A 25% tip? You are too kind, sir."

She shuffled around the table and kissed Cameron's face.

"But you are still not getting my number."

"So you were trying to hustle Yolanda," Matty laughed.

"I'm surprised Ryan didn't tear your head off."

Cameron looked at Bill.

"I assume that you are Bill Williams?"

Bill nodded.

"Welcome to my village."