She hadn’t eaten for the past three days. The only thing that had entered her mouth was water. She was weak yet she had no appetite for food. She felt an urge to vomit so she squirreled out of bed and walked as quickly as she could to the bathroom. She puked water – yellow water. It was the only thing she could vomit anyways; it was all that was in her stomach.

She rinsed out her mouth and washed her face. Feebly, she made her way back to the bed. Her phone rang. It must be Aunty Bamike, she thought, and it was.

“I’m downstairs, Tomi. Ba mi si l’ekun,” she said.

It was a Saturday. Aunty Bamike always brought food packed in plastic containers every Saturday. She descended the stairs slowly, holding unto the railing. Her aunty scowled when she set her eyes on her. Tomini could see the worry in her eyes. She did not want anyone worrying about her.

“Good afternoon, Aunty,” she forced a smile, walking away from the door.

“Jésù Tomini!” Aunty Bamike exclaimed dropping the bag in her hands on the dining table. “What happened to you? Are you sick?”

She came to her and placed the back of her palm against her neck, then her forehead.

“You’re running a temperature, Tomini. Kílódé!”

Tomini walked away from her and sat at the dinning.

“I’m fine. I’ve just been skipping meals.”

“When was your last meal?” she inquired.

“Wednesday or Tuesday, not sure.”

“Ehn!” her aunty exclaimed. “Are you okay at all? Are you trying to kill yourself?” 

Tomini kept mute and Aunty Bamike’s voice raised an octave.

“Are you? Are you trying to kill yourself? Kílódé! Why won’t you eat for a whole three days? Ní torí Olórun! And where was your father when all this was happening?”

She gulped. She suddenly felt like crying. Before she knew it, tears were trickling down her face.

Aunty Bamike sat on the chair next to her and pulled her into a hug. Tomini cried on her shoulders, the small circle her aunty was making on her back calmed her. She drew out of the hug, her eyes red. She wiped her eyes with the hem of her black tank top.

“You need to eat, Tomi. You can’t be starving yourself. Do you know it can cause ulcer? Or even something worse? We’ll go to the hospital now. You don’t look healthy at all. We’re going to the hospital. Go and change quickly.”

***
She heard a knock on her door. She turned her head towards its direction.

“Come in!”

Her dad walked in and sat beside her on the bed. She sat up slowly.

“Good evening, sir,” she greeted.

“How are you, dear?” he smiled.

Tomini smiled back, surprised by the gesture. She nodded. He clasped his hands together and leaned forward, his elbows on his thighs. His gaze was on the tiled floor. What was he thinking about? He had a faraway look in his eyes.

“Tomini,” he said slowly, letting out a breath afterwards.

“Yes, sir,” she responded, eager to hear what he had to say. Was something wrong? Did something bad happen again? She wanted no bad news, but the look in her dad’s eyes told her all was not well.

He unclasped his hands and ran them down his face. Now, she was worried.

“Dad?” she cocked her head to the side, studying his side profile. He met her eyes and smiled. It was a sad smile.

“Your big daddy paid me a visit at the office today. Aunty Bamike told him you were starving yourself and she met you in a bad state on Saturday. She even had to take you to the hospital. I didn’t know any of these happened. I didn’t know you starved yourself and even visited the hospital.”

He paused as if he expected her to say something. She said nothing.

“He said he’d like you to stay with him for a while, maybe a month or two. I agree with him. I’m always busy, I rarely have time to be with you and watch you. It was the role your mum used to play. I think it’s best, it’d be good for you to be around your cousins. It’ll help.”

He stopped talking, his gaze still on her. He expected her to say something, she knew.

“Say something,” he urged.

Where was her nagging, impatient dad? He was calm and gentle- unlike him.

“Okay, dad.”

He nodded and patted her right hand.

“Pack your things; I’m taking you tomorrow.”

She nodded. She was happy about the news.


***
The gateman at Big daddy’s house helped take her luggage in. Her dad stayed for some minutes, discussing with her uncle and aunty. When he was ready to leave, the whole family walked him to his car. He hugged her tightly and ran his hand up and down the back of her head. When he let go, she smiled brightly at him and he entered his car. They watched him drive off.

That night, as it was a custom in the Ajayi family, they all ate at the dining table. The okro soup was delicious; the assorted meat made it more enjoyable for her. The day after, they gathered in the living room for prayers very early in the morning. It was short. Her uncle left for work afterwards and his wife left about thirty minutes after for the secondary school where she was the principal. Gbola left with her.

On Saturday evening, Lolade got dressed to go for evangelism with the teenagers in their church as they usually did on Saturdays.

“Do you want to come?” Lolade asked, as she wore her earrings.

Tomini chuckled. “What do I know that I want to preach?”

“You’ll be home alone, hope you know. Daddy and mummy might not come back until later.”

“I’ll be fine here. I’ll watch movies on your laptop.”

The door swung open and Gbola came in.

“Don’t you know how to knock?” she questioned, frowning at him. He laughed and threw his self on the bed. He turned to Tomini and smiled sheepishly.

“It’s my father’s house.”

“Just leave him, Tomi. Go with us please,” Lolade tried to persuade her but she strongly refused. When they left, she opened up her cousin’s laptop and selected a random movie to watch.


***
“Tomini, pray for us,” Big daddy said, as he started the car. It was past eight on Sunday morning and they were on their way to church.

When was the last time she prayed? She thought to herself. She wasn’t sure she still knew how to pray. Did she even ever know how to pray?

“In Jesus name,” she said, unsure of what to say next. They chorused ‘amen’. She prayed they got to church safely and that they would be blessed in the service. As she ended the prayer she let out a sigh of relief. Her cousin was smiling at her strangely, like she could read her mind.

“What?”

Lolade laughed and hit her right arm playfully.

“Thank God for your life.”

She gave her a mock glare. Her cousin imitated her expression. She burst into laughter and Lolade joined her. Gbola who sat at the other end looked at them like they each had two heads. He shook his head then returned his attention to his phone.

Big daddy and mummy went into the main church while she followed Lolade and Gbola to the smaller building that stood beside the main church auditorium.

“We’re early,” Gbola commented beside her, as they went through the open doors. The hall was scanty; most were walking about while some were seated. Someone waved at Lolade and she waved back walking towards her. They hugged each other and Lolade introduced her to her friend, whose name she learnt was Yemi. Lolade excused herself and left with Yemi.

Tomini turned to Gbola, frowning.

“Let’s sit now.”

“Sit if you want. I’m coming.” And off he went.

She looked around, taking in the environment. The air conditioner made the room cool and she was grateful for it. She found a seat at the back, on the second to the last row and sat down.


***
She did not know most of the worship songs. If not that the lyrics were projected on the screen, she’d have been lost. She recognized the worship leader from the Teens’ event she had attended with her cousin last December. People were raising their hands, some had their eyes closed and were singing passionately. She did not belong in this place. She felt awkward.

There was a short prayer session afterwards. She didn’t feel too lost in that, although it was weird to her that the girl sitting next to her was speaking in tongues. She had always thought it was a gift only pastors and ministers or “very spiritual” people could have.

After the prayers, they were asked to greet their neighbours and the tongue-speaking girl stretched her hand out and said hello.

A man who looked to be in his early or mid-twenties came up for the message. He sang a few worship songs, the worship team backing him up. A short prayer was said after, and everyone had their seats.

The title of the message was “Saved once and for all”. He made the congregation repeat it after him a number of times before calling out the bible passage which was displayed on the screen. It was all nothing unfamiliar until the preacher mentioned that salvation was only by believing that Jesus died for our sins, was buried and rose again on the third day. Then shock coursed through her as he mentioned that once one believed, past, present and future sins would be wiped away and then he/she becomes righteous forever. She had never heard this narrative before. And it seemed too good to be true. Didn’t it matter if she sinned even after believing the gospel? Won’t she still have to ask for God’s forgiveness? Was it really that simple? You believe and accept Jesus’ love and then you’re made righteous forever?

“We have no fear of eternity. We know that after this world we are heading home to heaven. There’s no controversy. We have been made righteous through the blood of Jesus! God does not count our sins against us anymore!”

As the preacher spoke those words, people began exclaiming. Shouts of “glory” and “Hallelujah” filled the room.

She felt excited but also a little shy so she did not join them in their rejoicing fit. The worship team came up again and led the church in a few songs.

The pastor who had not left the pulpit began to speak, “If you’ve never made the decision to accept Christ into your heart, if you’ve never received Jesus into your heart, I want you to make a bold step and come up front…”

Tomini felt hesitant for some seconds before walking down the aisle to the front.

***
After the service, Tomini got talking to the tongue-speaking girl who sat next to her. They introduced themselves to each other and Tomini complimented her long natural hair.

“What products do you use?”

Zipporah laughed before answering. “I use water and this leave-in conditioner that I can’t remember its name. I don’t do much.” She ended with a shrug.

“Wow, it’s so full. Can I touch it?”

Zipporah laughed and nodded. Tomini, grinning, reached out and touched her puff.

“And it’s so thick,” Tomini commented again. “How do you manage to comb it?”

She heard her cousin calling her name and turned. Lolade was approaching her seat.

“How far?” she greeted Tomini before bending to give Zipporah a side hug.

“Zip Zip,” she teased, laughing.

“Stop calling me Zip abeg. It’s weird.”

Tomini laughed. “When are we going?” she asked her cousin.

“Not now o. We might have a meeting with PJ and mummy will also have meetings, I’m sure. Maybe in an hour sha.”

“Ok,” she replied, shrugging. She really did not mind.

“Wait, you guys came together? Are you guys related?” Zipporah questioned.

“Yeah, she’s my baby cousin,” Lolade cooed, reaching down and grabbing Tomini’s cheeks with both hands.

Tomini pushed her hands away and feigned a frown.

“Stop doing that. I’ve warned you severally but you don’t listen.”

“She’s waaaay prettier than you, Lola,” Zipporah said, placing emphasis on the “way” with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“Shut up, woman! Tomi, I’m coming. Thank God you have company now.” And off she went.

“Who’s PJ?” Tomini asked Zipporah, curious.

“The pastor that preached today. He’s our teenage pastor, one of them anyway, but he’s the lead teenage pastor.”

She nodded in comprehension. “So what does PJ mean?”

“Pastor Joshua”

“Nawa. It sounds fresh sha.”

Zipporah laughed.

“I will be in trouble if Zion sees me. I need to find an escape. I think he’s in PJ’s office now but he might come out anytime.”

“Why? Who’s Zion?”

“The worship team leader. I didn’t come for rehearsals yesterday. I was just feeling extra lazy. I didn’t even show up for evangelism in the evening. That’s why I sat at the back. Zion doesn’t take it easy with anybody at all. The talk I will hear, ehn!”

“Is Zion the boy who led worship today?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh!” she exclaimed, her eyes widening. “I met him when I came for the teens’ hangout last December but I forgot his name. He doesn’t look…”
Zipporah cut in, “He looks nice abi? Don’t be deceived. Ask Lolade.”
She paused before continuing. “I mean, he’s cool generally but can be tough sometimes, too tough.”

Her eyes suddenly widened and a look of panic crossed her face.

“Jesus! Talk of the devil!”

“What?” Tomini asked, confused.

Zipporah held her right wrist in a tight grip. “He’s coming.”

She turned to where Zipporah’s gaze was and saw Zion walking towards the back.

“Is that why you want to break my hand?” Tomini teased, amused.

“Sorry,” she said in a low tone before releasing her hand.

“He has seen me,” she said after a few seconds. Tomini laughed loudly, shaking her head.

Zion reached their row and entered the one before theirs. He turned the seat directly in front of Zipporah to face her and sat down.

“Good morning, madam,” he said in a sarcastic tone. Tomini hid a smile and then he noticed her.

He stretched his right hand to her. “Lolade’s cousin right? Tomini.”

She accepted his handshake and smiled, nodding. She was surprised he remembered her name.

“It’s nice seeing you in church today. How have you been?”

“I’ve been fine,” she replied, thinking about all that had happened between December and now. She sought of lied. But then, almost everyone was programmed to say “fine” when asked how they were, even if they weren’t.
He nodded before returning his attention to Zipporah.

“Madam, well done o.” There was his sarcasm again. “We did not see you yesterday.”

“I was very tired. I’m sorry. I really was going to come.”

“And you couldn’t call to say so. You just disappeared. You have responsibilities; you can’t just not show up without informing anyone. Please don’t make this a habit, Zipporah.”

She nodded, looking sober. He stood and placed the chair in its rightful position.

“Alright,” he said, placing his right hand in his right pocket. “See you, guys.”

“He‘s not that bad,” Tomini said to Zipporah after he left.

“It’s just today. He was kind of chilled today. This is not his usual self.”

“Let’s take a selfie,” Zipporah suggested, few moments later.

***
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