"will you be all right?" jane asks.

kim glances at jane before closing the door to the backseat of her car where conan is lying comfortably.

"yeah. this isn't the first time i've done this," she says, walking over to the other side of the car. "conan loves getting wasted from time to time. sometimes hongyok will call me to pick her up if she's not available and i will let conan crash into my place for the night."

"you called her up already?"

"i did. she's also having her party with her mates and i think she plans on getting wasted too."

"i hope not in bed with a stranger." jane folds her arms. "anyway, pie and i will be going."

kim looks at pie who is sleeping on the shotgun seat of jane's car.

"is she okay? i've never seen her touch a wine bottle before. but tonight she was like thirsty for it," she says.

jane sighs. "i don't know. she's... she's going through something..."

"a-are they having a problem?"

"a bit. but i'm not in the position to tell you about it. and i'm sure it's something they can still fix since this isn't the first time it happened."

kim asks herself if that's what she wants to happen, for pie and her husband to fix whatever issue they are having now.

"i hope he's not cheating on her, or abusing her or katie. because if he does, i'll kill him," she says.

jane chuckles and turns away. "peter's a kind person. but i'll be the first one to kill him if he does anything to hurt pie or my goddaughter."

kim watches the doctor walk back to her car. "i hope it's not about me."

jane stops and opens the door to the driver's seat. "do you really hope it's not about you? because it's always about you, kim. since day one, it's always been about you."

kim opens and closes her mouth, not sure how to respond.

should she apologise? but for what? as far as she is concerned, she did nothing wrong.

jane leans an elbow on the roof of her car and smiles. "don't think about it too much. you take care. we'll see you at the wedding next week."

jane goes inside the car and drives away from there, living kim still rooted to the ground.

---

"jeez. i'm sorry. i have no control over my mouth when i'm drunk." conan shakes her head, embarrassed. "guess i messed up last night, huh?"

kim leans on her kitchen counter, smelling the aroma of the coffee in front of her.

"well, you made it a little awkward for me and pie but it's your party and you had a blast. that's the important part," she says.

"i invited her and jane only because you said you weren't coming," admits conan. "i don't want to stir some tension between the two of you knowing you're hanging out with suzy. and her, well, she is married."

kim looks down at her coffee and stares at her reflection while she drums her fingers on the rim of the cup.

"did something happen after my blowup last night, kim?"

kim looks back up. "well, she tasted the wines... then drank more after that. then she danced along with the others. then she came back to me..."

---

"can we talk?" pie asks, pulling kim along by her necktie.

kim hesitates.

"c'mon. don't be awkward. they already know about us, anyway," says pie.

"are you drunk?"

"yes, i am drunk. but this is a party and i'm allowed to get drunk. besides, jane's driving me home."

kim finally stands up. she reaches out for her coat first before following pie who's tugging her tie harder.

"are you all right?" she asks as the smaller woman leads them to the balcony.

pie finally lets go of kim's tie to close the sliding door behind them, diminishing the party noise. "i am perfectly fine."

kim takes a deep breathe the moment she realises they are now alone. she stares into the building lights ahead of them.

"i'm sorry. i won't be able to do this without the alcohol." pie leans over the veranda. "and knowing you, i know you're not the type who will make the first move. so..." she trails off, shivering when the chilly wind blows.

kim places her coat over pie's shoulders.

"thanks."

"what's wrong?" kim asks.

pie shakes her head. "i don't know... i'm not supposed to see you tonight, you know? we're not supposed to be talking like this."

kim bites her lower lip. "i can leave now if--"

"that's the thing because i don't want you to leave." pie turns to her, looking helpless and confused. "i don't want the night to end. i want you to be here. i'm glad you are here. i'm so pathetic. i don't even know if you feel the same thing."

"i... i feel the same thing," she admits. "i..."

pie straightens herself. "i'm sorry. i shouldn't have said those things." she was aiming for the door now but kim stops her.

"honey..." said kim absentmindedly.

pie's face softens. she sighs. "please don't call me that, kim. please..."

"i-i'm sorry. i didn't mean to..."

"i know..." pie is now looking down, fiddling with her fingers. "but i'm glad to see you tonight." she returns inside after that.

---

"she never talked to me for the rest of the night. she kept on drinking until she passed out."

"and you said she and paul are having problems?" conan asks.

"it's peter, not paul."

conan rolls her eyes. "fine. but yeah, jane did say they are having problems?"

"that's according to jane. but she said it's something they can still fix as it isn't the first time it happened."

conan stands from the couch and walks to kim, grabbing the coffee cup and drinking from it.

"hey. that's my--"

"c'mon. we've done worse during sau days, kim. we even shared a spoon, a drinking bottle, and even a toothbrush."

"the toothbrush was a onetime thing! and it's--"

"i think you should stay away from pie for now."

"ah?"

"if jane says the problem relates to you, then it's best that you stay out of her path for now."

kim raises an eyebrow. "but you said last night that we should not give up on each other."

"i was drunk." conan puts the cup down. "although i meant it, your situation isn't as simple as it sounds. she's got a husband."

"does that mean you don't want me attending your wedding next week?"

conan rolls her eyes. "that's not what i mean. just... just try to stay away from them as much as you can. let them fix whatever issues they are having on their own. remember, they have a kid together. you wouldn't want to be the reason for the separation of that kid's parents, right?"

kim sighs. as painful as it is and as much as she wants pie back, she is more concerned about katrien. she doesn't have the heart to take away a family from a kid just for her selfish desires.

it's just funny how she felt pie closer last night and now she's far, far away again.

---

kim arrives at five in the afternoon on the private island (yes, because conan says they can afford it) where the wedding will take place tomorrow morning. because of the two-hour commute from the port to the island, they advised the guests to come in friday night to join the lovers in an informal dinner party before the big day the following morning.

kim came in early because she wants to appreciate the beauty of the island first on her own. after her dismissal from sau, she found a new hobby in the form of photography and thought it's the perfect place to practise shots while waiting for the dinner party to start.

the island spans about seven square kilometres and holds up several two-storey luxury residences that can accommodate up to a hundred guests. there were restaurants and bars, a chapel, a yacht club, a spa, and a dive centre facility. they also offer morning activities like shark watching, water ski, and jungle villa exploration; and night activities such as evening bonfires and rave parties.

kim walked around and around, taking shots here and there. the sound of an incoming speedboat always signals new guests arriving and kim feels nervous thinking one of those could have pie and her family in there.

her excitement builds up at the very thought of seeing pie but it fades as soon as she remembers the talk she had with conan last week.

so she keeps roaming around until she felt tired and went back to her room to rest.

---

"kim!" conan approaches her. "i was right. you fell asleep!"

"i'm sorry," says kim, scratching the back of her neck.

conan gestures to the buffet. i'm sure you're hungry now. go help yourself."

kim looks around to see how people gathered into separate tables. "where should i sit?"

"you can join yam, zee, jai over there." conan points at the direction. "go get something to eat now. i need to entertain the other guests."

as kim is making her way to her designated table, there is an eerie prickly feeling that someone is staring at her. she looks over her shoulder only to meet eyes with a very familiar kid. the said kid looks away and kim finds this amusing. this prompts her to glance at the other people sharing the table.

which she regrets because all the adults are looking at her now.

"oh. hey, kim." it was jane with her cute cheeky smile. "you're not lost, are you?"

"no..." kim shakes her head. "i just... oh. hello..." she bows when she meets eyes with pie's mom, bows at the man beside her whom she knows is pie's husband, and bows at pie too.

"katie, look who's here..." pie taps her daughter who's sitting in between her parents.

kim smiles at the kid who's shyly looking at her. "hello, katie."

"hello..." says katrien, bowing a little.

"you still remember me, don't you?"

the seven-year-old nods.

"why do you look so shy now, baby?" says her dad.

"daddy!" the kid slaps her dad's leg.

"let's have kim get her dinner first and we'll catch up with her later, okay?" says pie's mom. the kid nods again. the older woman turns to kim. "don't let us hold you up."

"i hope you enjoy your dinner." kim bows one last time before walking away from the table.

---

"why does she have to be so beautiful? why does she have to be so beautiful?"

kim keeps whispering to herself while she walks. pie still looked pretty in that simple dress shirt she's wearing. but each time she sees the husband (she refuses to mention his name even in her mind), she feels this pain in her chest and she doesn't know if it's something she will learn to accept in her lifetime.

too engrossed in her thoughts, she didn't notice how people are turning their heads towards the restaurant entrance.

and before she can even approach her table, her phone rings. she answers it.

"kim, where are you?" it was suzy.

"uh. i'm at conan's dinner party."

"i meant where are you right now? i just arrived here in the restaurant."

"what!" kim whips her and catches suzy's image standing at the entrance of the restaurant.

the actress is wearing a black and white beach dress. guests are already ogling at the presence of a celebrity in that restaurant.

"i thought you'll come tomorrow instead?" kim asks.

"i changed my mind. and i've got the right to be here. i'm your plus one, remember?"

kim's eye catches a specific head who turns to look at her. it was pie.

"kim, where are you? people are looking at me..." says suzy.

"right. stay where you are. i'll pick you up."

kim feels like everything is in slow motion when she walks towards suzy. it was like a scene in the movies where the main protagonist is approaching to get their love interest. and she can't deny how the stares from the other guests are making her feel shy.

sure, they know about the rumours spreading about her and suzy. but seeing suzy attending the party tonight and kim picking her up at the front may stir more speculations.

and she can't erase the thought that pie is seeing all of this happening now. what would she think?

that worry vanishes when she lay eyes again upon suzy who looks stunning tonight. suzy seems lost, like a damsel in distress, eyes darting around the room.

a smile finally breaks from the celebrity's face when their eyes meet, and for a moment kim swears she's the luckiest person in that room tonight.

but suzy had to put on a show by pulling kim in for a hug the moment she closes in.

"people are looking," kim whispers in suzy's ear.

"i know. but you know how much i want to play with them."

kim pulls away, smirking. "you're such a devil."

"oh. and you love playing with the devil, don't you?" suzy runs a finger along kim's jawline down her neck.

kim holds the other woman's hand to stop her from teasing the spectators around. "let's go. i'm hungry."

"oh, you can eat me, baby."

kim rolls her eyes and drags suzy inside.