it turns out that starting a foundation really helps to boost kim's morale.

her days are now filled with reports about the current status of their budget, donors, and rescue operations. dee has taken the initiative to visit the place regularly to make sure everything is in order.

they have also opened the temporary shelter to the public so people can come in to visit and look. some lucky pets have been taken home by their adopters. even conan and doctor gyuri adopted dogs for themselves.

kim brought pie and katrien there one time to show them the situation but it was a failure as the two are cowering outside, frightened to the bones.

(she never brought them back after that.)

kim spends most of her mornings visiting the shelter with dee and coming back after lunch before the latter goes to work. this had drastically reduced her alone time with pie. even so, kim is very much happy and contented with the progress of her project.

everything seems to fall into place. kim couldn't be happier with her accomplishments. jane was right about her lacking a purpose. the fulfilment of this new purpose in her life gives her satisfaction.

as days go by, she is realising how she can be genuinely happy with this new life she found.

---

"you mean you're the one who drew these?" gyuri asks in surprise as she flips through the pages of kim's sketchbook.

"yeah. i couldn't go out before so i pour all my thoughts into that," says kim, her eyes fall to the couple in the kitchen where pie is helping her husband roll up the sleeves of his shirt.

"well, these are all amazing. you've got some genuine talent here, huh..." gyuri continues flipping through the rest of the pages. "do you love taking pictures too?"

kim directs her eyes back to gyuri. "yes, that's another avenue i'm practising. but i left my camera in my apartment so i take pictures with my phone for now."

"may i see some of your shots?"

"you may want to hold that off, ladies," says peter, walking up to them. "let's continue that over dinner?"

"dinner?" kim looks around. "we're going out?"

"yeah." gyuri stands up and takes her coat. "we're having a little dinner celebration. it's peter and pie's eight wedding anniversary today."

"oh." kim instinctively glance at pie but the latter is already walking towards the door. "i see. congratulations then."

"thank you." peter smiles. "let's go?"

---

"how come you two are still that sweet?" gyuri digs her chin into her palms, looking at the married couple across the table. "what's your secret?"

the question goes in kim's one ear and out the other. she's lightly tapping her fingers on the table to calm the green-eyed demon inside of her.

eight years? they've been married for eight years now?

that's even longer than the duration she and pie dated!

kim bites her lower lip. the more she thinks about it, the more she feels this wave of emotions surging through her: sadness, resentment, anger, envy.

she knows comparing would be useless but she can't stop her brain from thinking that pie may have love peter more than she loved kim before.

obviously, she does! what the hell?

but the idea still fucking hurts.

kim takes a deep breath and looks around the restaurant, taking in the surroundings. she needs to distract herself to suppress the demon inside her. she looks around further, trying to make stories of people she sees.

one group looks like a happy family who is celebrating something today. there are the parents, the kids, and even the grandparents all sharing the food at the table.

another group seems like colleagues who went out to eat as they are all in uniform business attire.

another table, there's this young couple whom kim assumes is still in the early days of their relationship as they look at each other with heart eyes.

kim hisses and looks away, silently swearing that the couple will eventually break up too.

that's when she realises how bitter she is.

dammit.

why is pie putting her up in this kind of pain?

she was already okay these past few days. she was doing well on her own.

but why the hell is she in this pit again?

kim glimpses the matching wedding rings on pie and peter's fingers.

'she's married, kim. just two months ago.'

she feels her heart tightening.

'to the same doctor you mentioned before. they are both working in the hq hospital.'

her eyes linger at peter who's happily telling gyuri things about his marriage. his smiles are like daggers to her.

"i bet sex is still great, huh?" she hears gyuri say.

peter laughs out loud and kim feels the urge to punch him in the face. she catches pie looking at her awkwardly.

'i like him, okay? i like him! happy now?'

kim squeezes her eyes shut, forcing out all thoughts. she clenches and unclench her fist to stave the feeling off.

"kim..." gyuri shakes her arm. "hey. everything okay?"

the voices in her head don't stop. kim looks at the doctor and sees past her.

"we've been calling you," gyuri adds. "something wrong?"

"i... uh..." kim stands up and looks around for a safe spot until she finds one. "excuse me. i need to go to the washroom."

she leaves before anyone can even react.

---

splashing cold water on her face calmed her down.

kim leans in closer to the mirror to stare at herself, her uncasted hand grasping the corner of the sink to keep her balance.

once her heartbeat normalises, she pulls back, only to find pie already standing at the entrance.

"fuck. you scared me." kim sighs. she pulls out a paper towel on the side and dries her face. "can you please try to make a sound next time to alert me with your presence?" she throws the towel into the bin and proceeds walking outside.

"are you all right?" pie asks. "are you hearing those voices again?"

kim turns to pie. "why do you want to know? does it even matter?"

"i want to make sure you're okay."

"i'm okay, okay? now stop worrying about me." she was about to step out but pie grabs her arm.

"what are you saying? i can't just pretend i don't worry. you know i care about you."

"care about me. really?" kim hisses. "if you really care for me, then you wouldn't have brought me here to celebrate your wedding anniversary with your husband!"

pie couldn't react.

"what were you thinking, pie? is that how bad you want to shove it to my face?"

a crease forms on pie's forehead. "why are you talking like i deliberately want to hurt you?"

"isn't that what you're doing now? you're asking me if i'm okay after you take me out to celebrate with you and your husband? the fuck, pie! are you out of your mind?"

"i didn't plan for this, okay?" pie retorts, raising her voice a bit. "we're supposed to have a private dinner after your check-up with doctor park but peter changed his mind the last minute and invited the two of you. i couldn't say no because your doctor is already excited to go out with you."

there's something about the way pie refers to gyuri that kim didn't miss.

"my doctor, huh? is that why you're acting all sweetly towards 'your doctor'? because you wanted to get revenge on me?"

"what are you saying? he's my husband!"

that surely went right through kim's heart. "right. your beloved husband."

"you're talking like you aren't being flirty with other people," says pie sharply. "you had suzy. now you're flirting with dee and gyuri."

kim lets out an ironic laugh. "wow. acting all jealousy now on your wedding anniversary? that's very faithful, pie."

"i'm not acting all jealousy here! aren't you the one who's jealous now?"

"of course, i am jealous! i may be crazy but i am not numb!"

"kim--"

"and a private dinner, huh? very intimate. that's how you usually want us to celebrate our anniversaries before, remember?" says kim, sneering. "i supposed the next part is you'll have sex like how we--"

pak!

the sound of pie's palm hitting kim's cheek echoed in the washroom. kim's face is turned to the side due to impact.

pie glares at kim, her eyes brimming with tears. she wipes her eyes with the back of her hand, inhaling and exhaling, composing herself before finally storming out of the washroom.

kim stands there, tongue-poking her stinging cheek. she laughs and shakes her head.

"way to go, kim."

---

she went back to their table and pretends nothing happened.

pie acted normal and was clinging onto her husband the whole time.

kim finally shows gyuri the shots on her phone, making the doctor happy. she doesn't mind if gyuri's acting all flirty towards her. she needs to enjoy the night too. this could be a perfect distraction.

after the dinner, the couple drove gyuri first before sending kim off to her apartment. kim wished them goodnight before closing the car door and going up to her room.

she stares at the painting in her living room, tears coursing down her cheeks. she punches it repeatedly, breaking the glass frame. there was no pain but she had to stop when she sees blood gushing down. she looks at her hand and laughs at her self-inflicted lacerations.

damn. she's really crazy now.

luckily, dee who happens to just got back from work hears the glass breaking and knocks on kim's door to check on her. she drove kim to the nearest emergency room where the latter had stitches.

---

they went to the nearest convenient store outside the hospital after kim got discharged.

"can you stop trying to get yourself hurt? you're starting to look like a living mummy with all those cast and bandages," says dee.

"i'm sorry..." kim grips her cup with one hand, feeling warm coffee against her palm. "i've caused you too much trouble tonight just because i couldn't control myself."

"it's okay. we all have our moments like that. don't worry." dee removes the lid of her instant noodles and the smoke comes out. she picks the chopsticks on the side and looks at kim. "want some?"

"nah. i'm all good. enjoy."

"so... how are you going to explain the injury to her tomorrow?" dee asks, slurping the noodles.

"can i not see her yet tomorrow? i'm too embarrassed to face her after all the things i said. and she'll panic once she sees this." kim looks at her bandaged knuckles.

"hmm. isn't it funny how you two are fighting like lovers even though you're not?"

kim just smiles and sips her coffee.

"you need to talk to her," says dee, her voice serious. "i may not know her that much but i can tell that woman genuinely cares for you. it's not always we come across people like her on this planet. most of the ones we meet are fake, you know. they are just around when you are at your best. but that pie, she's taking you in even you're at your worst."

kim looks down at her newly bandaged hand, feeling guilty. ever since they met, pie has always tried her best to keep kim alive. while kim, well, she's the one who's always with a death wish.

what a very contradicting match.

"i don't want to lead you on what you need to do," says dee. "i'm sure you know that yourself by now. but i hope you two talk about this and fix whatever misunderstanding you have."

kim resigns with a smile. "you know what, you're the best."

"oh. i know i am."

"and because of that, would you help me clean up the mess in my apartment once we drive back? i don't want pie to see that tomorrow."

"fuck you, kim."

and they both shared a hearty laugh.

---

dee helped her clean up the room and change.

once she's sure dee's settled back in her unit, kim leaves the apartment and hails a taxi to take her to a hotel.

she's doesn't care if people will think she's being a coward, but she's not ready to face pie yet.

so she gets herself a first-class room which she refers to as her own 'ward' in the next twenty-four hours.

she rolls the blinds down and turns off her phone, making sure no one will bother her in her temporary sanctuary.

---

it was simply hell.

kim hardly slept a wink. the silence in her room is getting replaced by the voices in her head.

they won't stop. they keep coming. they keep reminding her of her traumas, of her fears, of her pains.

but despite that, she still find the courage to roll her blinds up to watch how the sky transitions from night to day as the sky gets brighter.

it was a moment of peace before the storm of her trauma comes back in full measures, knocking her down on the floor as she cries helplessly like a kid.

she couldn't count anymore how many times she wished she'd just die. but whenever she thinks about ending it all at once, she's reminded of pie's face, her words, her love.

is that enough reason to still live?

then the image of her newly established foundation is knocking at the back of her mind, making it's way to the top, giving her hope, giving her courage.

katrien's face flashes too, and kim smiles whenever she remembers katrien's voice asking her to marry her someday.

maybe there's still to more to life than what she's seeing now. maybe the reason she's still alive will unfold to her soon.

like what pie said, she needs to hold on a little longer, a little tighter.

heck. she can't die yet. she hasn't said sorry to pie yet. she needs to apologise to pie first before anything else.

so, she gets up on the couch and fixes herself.

it's time to go home now.

---

she didn't expect to see pie waiting for her inside the apartment, sitting on the couch, head hidden in her knees.

kim's not sure if she's imagining it, because pie should be at the hospital now working night shift.

but pie lifts her head to look, her swollen and puffy eyes telling kim it's not imagination.

kim's heart breaks at the sight. never in her life will she be able to handle seeing pie cry.

an involuntary whimper escapes pie's lips. she had to cover the mouth with a shaking hand to suppress it.

"kim..." pie scrambles off the couch and throws her arms around kim, hugging her fiercely. "you came back..." she says, voice wavering. "you came back this time..."

kim felt all the pain in those words. she doesn't need to ask what pie meant.

she can picture now what happened to pie when she didn't come back that night in that hotel room.

---

"please, stop crying. i'm okay."

"you're not okay..." pie sniffs as she puts a fresh bandage around kim's hand. "and this is all my fault."

"look. it's not your fault. i was being immature yesterday. i'm sorry. and i'm sorry for disappearing again without letting you know. i needed time to think. i needed time to myself, to sort out my brain and emotions."

pie finishes tying the bandage with a circular turn around kim's wrist. "tight?" she asks.

kim clenches and unclench her fist to test. she shakes her head.

pie then takes kim's hand back and traces her thumb over the stitches.

they settle in comfortable silence as pie continues to soothe kim's wounds with tender circular strokes.

and for whatever reason, it works like magic because kim can feel all the pain in her body disappearing, vanishing into the thin air.

there are no words. they are simply feeling each other. and at that moment--she'd like to think it's a stolen moment--it made kim feel like they were together again.

pie leans down, giving kim's knuckles soft kisses. her lips linger on the last kiss until she pulls back, looking down at their now intertwined hands.

"i'm sorry..." says pie, her voice full of pain. "i'm sorry for taking you with us yesterday. i'm sorry for the things i said..."

"pie, please stop..."

"i'm sorry for slapping you and for leaving you there," pie continues. "i'm sorry for dragging you here... i'm sorry for hurting you and causing you all this pain... i'm sorry for--"

it's too much for her to take: seeing pie crying helplessly, saying her sorry's. kim's not sure what pushed her to do it but she wants nothing of this apologising anymore.

so she leans forward and captures pie's lips to stop the latter with her endless apologies.

pie didn't react but kim knows she's won over when the other woman's body relaxes.

kim gently pulls away and rests her forehead on pie's.

"stop apologising or i'll kiss you again."

pie says nothing, but she pulls back a little to scan kim's face--her lips.

and it didn't take long before pie cups kim's cheeks, leaning in to kiss her more.