everything fast forwarded after she got back to the city.

interviews, endorsement shoots, meetings with her manager, lawyers, accountants, business partners-- these occupied kim's schedule. she and conan even went to yeosan a couple of times to check how the hotel construction is going and to iron out employment plans in the area.

she reconnected with suzy and had officially signed a contract with her agency to get her as the endorser of the hotel. this hyped the showbiz buzz again between them. even so, their relationship remained platonic and their meetings have all been purely business-related.

if it weren't for dee who messaged her to visit the foundation, kim wouldn't have realised that a month already passed. feeling guilty after receiving the message, kim hurriedly jump into her car and drove out of the city that night.

she arrived around ten in the evening. there's no light in dee's apartment. kim stays in the hallway, dropping a quick message to pie about seeing katrien tomorrow if they are available.

but her excitement got drained by pie's lack of response to her message. and kim's brain is already conjuring up reasons.

is pie already asleep? or is she at work? could she be spending time with her husband right now?

"ugh." kim shakes her head.

not wanting to linger at the thought, kim messaged some of her friends and former comrades in the area asking them to hang out.

it's probably too late in the evening for that as no one is responding to her.

she was ready to go into her apartment and sleep it off until one text came.

it was from gyuri.

---

she met gyuri at a bar. despite the doctor's rants about how her day was so stressful, she's still undeniably attractive.

they had a couple of drinks and kim finds herself appreciating more how beautiful gyuri is. they drank more and talked about a lot of stuff: politics, the dog gyuri adopted, life experiences, and even relationships where it ended with gyuri saying how kim's ex is such a bitch.

kim still checks her phone from time to time but a certain someone hasn't responded to her yet. her suspicion on the lack of response got bigger and bigger and kim feels uneasy.

not wanting to linger on the thought, kim tries her best to focus on gyuri. the doctor's not-so-subtle flirting tells kim that something more is expected from tonight.

and who is she to deny herself of some enjoyment?

it was past midnight when kim, who's now consumed by alcohol intoxication, finally gave into the temptation. they kissed, once, twice, thrice. too drunk to drive, both left their cars at the parking area and called a cab back to kim's apartment.

they were already mauling each other before they can even get through the front door. after successfully getting in with their clothes still intact, gyuri playfully pushes kim down the sofa. with a sexy grin playing on her lips, gyuri undoes the buttons of her blouse and takes her shirt off, letting it fall on the floor.

kim gulps, staring at the woman in front of her. is she really doing this tonight? yeah. why not? pie could be doing the same thing, right?

gyuri moves and straddles her, cupping her face and kissing her again. it was hard and needy this time.

just as when she's ready to tear gyuri's bra off, kim glimpses the painting that is still hanged on the wall.

and suddenly, she hears voices.

'yup. it's just you, me, and the rain right now.'

kim shakes her head.

'please don't leave me, kim. i can wait for you as long as you want. but no matter what happens, be strong for us.'

"shit." kim squeezes her eyes shut. "shit. shit. shit."

"hey. what's wrong?" gyuri asks, pulling back. "why did you stop?"

kim then realises how their position on the couch is very similar to what happened between her and pie last time. every fibre in her body is now scolding her for doing the same thing in the same place.

"something wrong?" gyuri asks, concerned. "is your shoulder still hurting?"

kim looks down. "i... i'm sorry. i can't do this."

"w-what? why?"

"i know this will sound ridiculous." kim takes in a moment to breathe before she looks at gyuri in the eyes. "i'm still thinking of my ex a lot and i still want her back. stupid, yes, but don't want to lie to myself anymore. no matter what i do, it's still her. and i don't want you to be a temporary person i'll use to cover up my longing for her. you don't deserve that."

gyuri had an 'are you sure?' expression first before she lets out a defeated chuckle. "oh... my... gosh..."

"i'm sorry..."

"it's okay." gyuri cups kim's face again. "at least you were honest about it. i wouldn't be happy either continuing this with you if you're still having a hangover from your ex."

kim smiles. "but can you please stay for the night? i don't want you to go home and drive in that state. you can take my room and i'll take the couch."

gyuri stares at kim for seconds and smiles. "your ex is so lucky..." she leans forward for a quick peck on the lips and pulls back. "but she's still a bitch."

and they laugh together.

---

the incessant ringing of her phone pulls kim out of dreamland. groaning, she reaches out for the device on the coffee table and answers it, eyes still closed.

"kim!" it was katrien.

not sure if she's still dreaming, kim checks the caller id and indeed, it's pie's number displaying on her screen.

she clears her throat. "hey, sweetie. good morning."

"open the door!" katrien shouts and kim kind of heard the voice echoing outside her apartment door.

"huh?"

"open the door!" there was a loud knock on her door this time. it was followed by pie's voice telling her daughter to stop.

"shit!" kim scrambles off the couch, almost falling flat on her face. why is pie and katrien here this early?

she checks her phone and sees messages from pie earlier this morning. kim groans again.

the impatient knock on her door continues.

"aish. she's just like her mom..." kim unlocks the door and sees pie and katrien standing behind it. "hey, girls."

"what took you so long?" katrien glares at her. the kid went past kim and enters the apartment on her own, leaving the two adults.

"katie, careful!" pie calls. "aish. that kid." she looks at kim and smiles a little. "morning. did we wake you up?"

kim notices how pie looks fresh and vibrant. is it the after-sex effect?

"umm. yeah. but don't worry. it's okay," she says.

"i'm sorry i wasn't able to respond to your message last night. i was telling katrien stories in her bedroom and i fell asleep too."

that sounded right but kim had to make sure. "her dad's not home last night?"

"nope. he came in really late and left too early this morning too. emergencies."

kim felt the knot in her chest loosening. "oh. that's good."

"huh?"

"i meant, it's okay. i've kind of thought of the same thing," kim says, chuckling at herself for worrying too much last night. "come on in."

"i texted you this morning but didn't get a response," says pie as she walks inside the apartment. "that's why we went here directly to check on you."

"oh. thanks." kim thinks this is the perfect time to tell pie about gyuri but katrien suddenly returns from the bedroom, hugging her by her waist.

"kim! did you sleep with daddy's friend last night?"

kim's jaw drops.

"daddy's friend?" pie looks at kim.

"yes! daddy's friend is in kim's bedroom!"

pie raises an eyebrow. kim was about to open her mouth for an explanation but gyuri went out of the bedroom to greet them.

"good morning!" gyuri shows up, wearing a big white shirt kim lent her last night. "oh. hello there, pie!"

"h-hello..." says pie, looking undeniably shocked. "didn't expect to see you here this morning, doc."

"yeah. well, kim and i went out last night for some beers."

"ooh. for some beers..." pie eyes kim. "it looks like you two enjoyed, huh?"

kim gulps.

"oh, boy, we did." gyuri chuckles. "we were too drunk to drive ourselves home. we had to hail a cab here."

"i see." pie nods. she looks at her daughter who's still clinging onto kim. "hey, baby. maybe we should leave them alone for now. come on here."

"why, mommy? you said we'd hang out with kim today."

"well, i'm afraid we may be interrupting something, baby..."

"are they going to sleep together again?"

kim coughs and gyuri had a shocked expression on her face.

"no!" they both said at the same time.

"no. we didn't sleep together last night and we won't be sleeping together," gyuri clarifies.

katrien turns to the doctor. "why?"

gyuri looks at kim, asking for help, whispering, "does she know what sleeping together means?"

kim shakes her head. "she's talking about literally sleeping together." she clears her throat and bends down to level the kid's eye. "hey, sweetie. doc gyuri and i didn't sleep together last night. she stayed in my room and i stayed here on the couch," she says slowly, making sure pie will hear every word.

katrien nods. "so, no sleeping together later?"

kim touches the kid's head. "no. i'm going out with you and mommy today. so..." she looks at pie. "... no need to leave, okay?"

pie raises an eyebrow at her and looks away.

---

"look, kim, you don't need to explain anything to me. okay?"

"but nothing really happened between me and gyuri last night!"

"and so? why? does it even matter?"

"i don't want you to think of me like that."

pie finally turns to kim, glancing at the bedroom first to make sure katrien is still playing inside and not hearing their whisper-argument in the kitchen.

"well, aren't you? you've done the same thing with suzy before, remember? is there a difference with this one? oh. and i recently heard you two got back together."

kim brushes her hands through her hair. "pie--"

pie raises a finger to stop kim. "look. this is your apartment. you can bring any woman here whenever you want to and do whatever you want to do with her. but can you please make sure to not bring me and katie into any of it? i don't want my kid witnessing anything like that again."

kim groans. "as i've said, nothing happened between me and gyuri. she slept here because she was too drunk to go home."

"right. as if that's very believable, kim."

"i'm telling the truth!" kim whisper-shouts.

"oh. yeah? so, you're saying that you two met at a bar last night, had a couple of beers, and went here together--too drunk if i may add--so she could sleep for the night? i wonder why she rode with you here instead of riding a cab back to her apartment. did her apartment suddenly got burned down?"

kim rolls her eyes, knowing she's already lost the argument.

"look. it doesn't matter what i think, kim. don't bother explaining yourself."

"pie, you need to--"

"can you just drop this off? i don't want any explanations, okay?"

kim's getting pissed now. "then stop acting jealous!"

pie looks at her, shocked. "i'm not acting jealous!"

"oh. so, what do you call this whatever you're doing right now, huh?"

pie looks away, flexing her jaw. it takes a few seconds before she turns back to kim, raising her palms in surrender.

"look. i'm sorry. i shouldn't have acted that way," says pie, her voice much gentler now. "it's just that whenever i see you doing something like this, it makes me feel like i don't know you anymore. you weren't like this before, sleeping around with women." she sighs and looks down. "but yeah, who am i to stop you from doing that? although honestly, sometimes, it makes me feel like you're seeing as one of those girls."

kim furrows her eyebrows. "come on. you know you're not."

pie sighs again, turning to kim. "please don't mind me. we're not together. you're a free person. you can do anything you like, seduce any woman you want. you don't owe me any explanation and i don't owe you any explanation in return."

kim stood there in silence. she couldn't come up with a response to that. pie just ended whatever they are having now even before it went deeper.

but isn't that the right thing to do?

kim smiles and shakes her head. the boundaries are clear again.

"you're right. i'm sorry for what happened this morning," kim says. "i promise i won't put you and katie into any of it again." she gestures to the bedroom. "i'll just get katie so we can leave now."

she was already halfway to the bedroom when she hears pie releasing a loud exhale.

"kim--"

"i understand," says kim, turning to the smaller woman. "it's better we don't talk about these things or argue about these things anymore because whenever we do it makes me feel there's still something between us." she pauses. "you're right. we're not together. i don't owe you any explanation and you wouldn't owe me anything too. let's just keep it at that."

she turns to her heels and forces a big smile. "katie, sweetie, are you ready now?"

---

she and pie barely talked that day. kim purposely cling to katrien the entire time and focused on entertaining the kid.

peter came along later that afternoon and kim had to decline his dinner invitation, saying she still needs to pick up her car at the bar.

she stayed in the area for the next two days but never attempted to contact pie again.

pie didn't contact her either.

---

kim feels like they broke up all over again.

it hurts because even if pie claims she still has feelings for her, she will always choose her husband over kim.

and that fucking idea is fucking killing kim.

sometimes she wonders if she'll be able to find another love in this lifetime, someone whom she can love with all her heart like how she did--she still does--with pie.

because pie set the bar too high that it ruined all potential relationships for kim.

it sucks but there's no easy way to put it. maybe she's meant to live alone. she's got other purposes, anyway.

she finally resorts to wasting her life fulfilling those purposes until she dies.

---

life went on for kim.

she found out that spending most of her time on things like her foundation or helping other people make her feel most fulfilled and provides her lasting happiness. because of that discovery, she indulged herself more with these type of activities to cover up her longing for pie.

it's effective because kim has never been busier but she's never been happier either. she put more effort into creating foundations, going to orphanages, helping children, people, and even volunteering in a humanitarian organisation. she has buried herself with work seven days a week, fifteen hours a day.

it helps that she has investments as she doesn't need to worry about her cash flow.

she also devoted herself into art, enrolling in night classes to learn more about the craft.

this newfound love made kim feel complete at some point. and it helps because whenever she's getting the urge to contact pie, she'll focus her attention to her other 'love' and will soon forget the woman for a little while.

yes, only for a little while because there is not a day when pie doesn't cross her mind. even so, kim can still go on her life and can still smile genuinely.

this is what she needs. she can live a life like this.

---

there was a buzz on the door. kim looks up from her dinner, wondering who came in to visit.

she stands up and peeks at the peephole, only to see peter waiting behind the door.

"what's he doing here?" worried something might have happened to pie or katrien, kim unlocks her door.

but what greets her next are hands grabbing her shirt. kim gets shoved up against the wall inside her apartment, the culprit kicking the door close behind him.

"you! this is all your fault, you coward!"

"what?" kim tries to pry herself away from his grip but he's physically stronger. "the fuck! let go!"

"why do you keep hurting her? are you trying to revenge on me? on us?" peter's grip gets tighter.

"i--" kim's suffocating. with the remaining strength she has, she delivers a knee to his groin, sending the man in pain.

peter immediately doubles over and lets go of kim.

kim hunches forward, gasping for air. she coughs. "what's... what's wrong with you!"

"this is all your fault!" peter shouts. "all your fault!"

"what the hell is my fault! i don't understand!"

peter finally stands up again. he attacks kim but the latter caught his hand midair and counters with a kick in his stomach, sending him flying into the living room and knocking down a piece of furniture.

convinced that this is an assault, kim walks over to peter, pulls him by his collar and punches him straight into the face.

"what the hell do you want!" she asks, punching the doctor again. "what do you want!"

she keeps punching the doctor until blood is already streaming down peter's face coming from his nose.

"what the fuck do you want! answer me!"

"stop hurting my wife, you bitch!" peter spats.

kim gritted her teeth. "what the fuck are you saying! i haven't talked to pie in weeks!"

"coward!" seeing the opportunity, peter holds kim's head and bashes her face with his head.

"agh! fuck!!!" kim stumbles back, blood drips down her chin onto her shirt.

peter then grabs kim by her waist and hauls her up. with all his strength, he throws her body away, sending her toppling over the couch.

her apartment is surely a mess now.

there were footsteps. in seconds, peter is standing over her. "you fucking coward! if you love her that much then why did you leave her! why didn't you fight for her before! and now you're trying to take her and katrien from me!"

kim rolls away and sits up, still dizzy. "what the hell are you saying! i'm not taking them away from you! and pie's still wearing your fucking ring! she never removed that even when she's with me! why are you mopping there like a teenager!"

instead of responding, peter launches towards kim again. "ahhh!"

he pushed her into the kitchen area, knocking down some utensils and appliances.

"you're a coward! a coward!" he shouts, choking her, blood spitting from his mouth.

kim grabs the pepper mill rolling on the floor and smashes it into his head.

there are trickles of blood on the carpet and the tiled floor. kim's not sure anymore if it's hers or peter's but she's getting tired of this 'talk' they are having.

so she grabs a knife from one shelf and pushes it against peter's neck, catching the doctor off guard.

"one more move and i won't hesitate," she warns, breathing hard. "you're a doctor. you know what happens if i slit you around here."

peter just glares at her, his head is now bleeding too.

"the only reason i haven't killed you yet is katrien," kim adds. "i never wanted her to grow fatherless that's why i took the chance to run back for you before. but if you won't stop this madness and talk to me, i won't hesitate to kill you now."

"you should have let me die back then!" peter cries. "you should have just left me there to die!"

kim didn't expect peter to breakdown like that. she carefully pulls the knife away, still gripping the handle tight.

"you had the chance to get her back if you'd just let me die out there," says peter, wiping his tears with the back of his hand. "but you didn't. instead, you had to act all heroic just to save me."

kim shakes her head. "i... i don't understand..."

peter sits up to wipe more of his tears and blood from his face. he produces a handkerchief from his pocket and gives it to kim.

"you may want to apply pressure on that." he gestures to kim's bleeding nose.

kim hesitates but still accepts the handkerchief.

peter looks around the apartment, seeing the mess they made. he sighs and turns to kim.

"i am divorcing pie."