Land of Confusion // Genesis

Mari

The streets are quiet as Holly and I pop between stores. Our haul isn't great today, but thrift stores are always hit and miss. It's more about the hunt than the conquest, in my opinion.

The older buildings along the main street of North Outerborough are a throwback from the 1950's. All of the towns in this county have a historic quality, but this one is the best preserved of the bunch. Large display windows surrounded by old brick are found on every corner. Many hold vintage goods of all kinds, but it's the clothing stores that bring most people here. Everyone knows they have some of the best resale and thrift finds around.

"Why does it feel like I should be looking over my shoulder constantly?" Holly laughs. "I feel like I participated in a prison break and we're about to be tossed back into the slammer."

"You were never in my slammer though," I say before being hit with guilt at the joke. She was in the slammer when she lived with her parents. Her mom, too sick to function, and her dad a tyrant when he was in town. Holly lived in a constant state of hyperawareness and fear. Her entire world opened up when Jackson came back into her life.

"Sorry. That was insensitive." I grab my friend's arm, rubbing gentle strokes against it.

"Hey, if you can't laugh about your trauma, you'll curl up into a ball and let life pass you by," she says, pushing clothes along the rack.

"Wise words from a wise woman." Smiling, I rejoin her in our search for a wedding dress.

Holly shrugs. "Life has a way of teaching us shit we never wanted to learn."

"And the quotes keep rolling in." I laugh. Holly does too.

The next five minutes are spent hunting in vain. Nothing stands out as a potential and this store doesn't have a designated wedding section.

"Shall we move on?" I inquire of the bride-to-be.

"We shall. There's one more store on the next corner. I don't have high hopes but we're running out of time anyway. I better get you home before you turn into a pumpkin."

"Hardy-har-har. If it wasn't true it would be funny."

"That's why it's funny."

Arm in arm, we giggle down the block and into the last store. Not much catches our eye until we hit the back of the store where a section of evening gowns is kept. Holly pulls a soft, white gossamer dress out of the herd and I swear I hear a choir of angels singing.

"Oh," she gasps as I catch her eye. "This is..."

"The one. Try it on." I don't waste time, unzipping the back and tossing it over Holly's head. She's in leggings and a t-shirt which makes the process simple. A lace bodice peeks out from beneath a gathered mesh overlay flowing into a full skirt. Holly swishes the skirt once I've got it over her head and mostly zipped up. It couldn't be more perfect.

"I think it fits," she says tentatively.

"It totally fits. Let me take your pic." I stand back and take the shot, then we hover together to have a look. "Radient."

"Mari," is all Holly can say. Tears gather in her eyes. I hug her.

"It's real."

"I can't believe I'm getting married."

"Girl, Jackson is going to lose it when he sees you. This is the perfect backyard wedding dress. It's still in Brax and Savannah's garden, right?"

"Yeah." Holly glows as she continues swishing her skirt, watching the fabric sway with a gentle rustle.

"Are you saying yes to the dress?"

"YES!" she says with a little hop.

"Come on, let's slay the dragon and buy the dress."

The store doesn't have a garment bag for it, being a thrift shop and all, so I offer to carry it for my over-excited friend.

"Don't want you tripping on the sidewalk and landing with it in the gutter."

"That would be my luck. Thanks for your help."

Smiling, we head back up the street toward Holly's car. We're a few storefronts away from where we parked when a familiar face pops out of one of them and almost crashes into us.

"Oh, sorry!" I say before getting a good look at the guy. Then my stomach drops a little. "Danny, hey."

It's been a few months now since we broke up. I haven't seen him since. I wasn't upset at the time, mostly resolved that a break up had been inevitable. He wasn't the one for me. Now that Guy is back in my life I realize why. My heart was already taken. I was just waiting for him to find me again.

"Mari?" Danny says, looking down at the wedding dress I'm holding. "Wow. Didn't expect to see you here, with that."

"Ah, yes. I prefer the element of surprise. You remember Holly, right? My bestie? She and Jackson are getting married."

"Oh." Danny glances at her before looking back at me. I can't decipher the look in his eyes but if I were to place a bet, I'd say it was irritation.

"Simple mistake." I shrug.

"Not simple considering we just broke up. That would have been a fast move, even for you."

His words hit me like a gavel, judgement in every syllable.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He shrugs. "It's not a secret that you don't stick around very long."

I swallow what feels like rocks in my throat. Suddenly my nerves are on fire and every one of my senses stands at attention. I don't know what to say, what to do. But then Holly comes to my rescue.

"You know what they say. When you know, you know. And when you don't...that's kind of obvious, too. Right? Why stick around when it's not the right relationship?" Her tone darkens as she speaks, taking a direct hit at Danny's accusations.

A hot, very heavy thirty seconds pass between us. Danny looks anywhere but at me. I'm not usually tongue-tied but he blindsided me with his anger.

"How've you been?" he finally asks without making eye contact.

He asked out of obligation in my thinking. I answer from the same.

"Fine. And you?"

"Uh, good." His eye twitches. "Well, I better get going."

"Yeah, same. Bye."

He hustles across the street and away from us as fast as humanly possible.

"Well, that wasn't awkward or anything," Holly says. "What a douche canoe."

"I really thought our breakup was amicable." I look down at the wedding dress in my arms. "I guess if I'd seen him coming out of an engagement ring store I'd feel pretty harshly slighted."

"Didn't he break up with you?"

"Yeah."

"He acted like you slept with his brother before having his best friend's baby."

I shoot a look at Holly. "What the hell? Have you been watching Euphoria again or something?"

She shrugs. "Reading a Why-Choose romance."

"Jeez." Holly effectively breaks through the tension and we make our way to her car, finally.

"Let's get you home, Cinderella. Wouldn't want the prince to worry."

"Which one? I'm dealing with five at last count."

"Five? Grinder, Brax, Frank, Guy and Javier... oh, right. That's five."

"I guess I should head home like a good girl. Follow everyone's advice."

The ride home isn't nearly as light as the one from it. The music still plays, now with the addition of Holly's treasure hanging in the back seat and swishing slightly in the breeze of our open windows.

"I'm walking you in. Don't want anyone's wrath coming down on me," Holly says as we pull up to my house.

"This is ridiculous."

"Our men are protective. It's why we love them, right?"

Love. The word hits me hard. A crazy awareness fills me up, a rightness I've only partially acknowledged.

But it's real. I love him. I think I fell in love with him when he gave me that hoodie and shoved me out the window. It sat dormant, hidden deep inside of me the whole time. I don't think I could shove it back under the covers now that I see it. I don't want to.

"Let's check all the rooms before I leave," Holly says as I open the door.

"Okay," I say absently, still reeling from my heart awakening.

Five minutes later, after finding the house all clear, Holly hugs me goodbye. "Here, shove this into your purse," she says after pulling a tiny smart tracker off her keychain. "Jackson got this for me after I lost my keys for the third time. Maybe if you have a tracker, those 5 princes will calm the heck down."

I laugh, shoving the tracker into an interior pocket of my Lululemon crossbody bag, still slung across my shoulder.

"Kay. Thanks. We need to plan another girl's day. I have a feeling I'll need the stress relief."

"Okay," she gives me one more hug before leaving." I watch her drive away until she's out of sight.

A cold chill of anxiety hits me as soon as she's gone. So strong goose bumps break out all over my body.

There's no reason to feel it. Everything's fine, I tell myself. The house is empty. I'll call Guy, text the rest, and have a quiet night at home. I should be swooning over Holly's amazing wedding dress, daydreaming about my future with Guy now that I've let my feelings free.

Before I settle in and I call him, I shuffle into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. Maybe the chamomile will calm my nerves. Maybe I drank too much caffeine from The Drip. Maybe I'm just missing Guy and need his arms wrapped around me. I heat some water and drop in the bags, letting it seep while I grab the trash and take it out back. I prop the back door open with a rock since it tends to stick a little this time of year. I don't want to be stuck outside.

Another chill hits me as I dump all the bags, even though the evening temps are still warm. This time stronger than the last. Something feels off. Ugly. The chill brings a hyperawareness of my surroundings. The dark feeling is so strong I reach into my little bag, still strapped across my chest, and pull out my pepper spray.

I glance around, expecting to see something unusual. A stray cat, my crazy neighbor from across the street snooping around. Something. But it's so dark that even with the light spilling out from the open door, nothing catches my eye.

Feeling equally ridiculous and like I shouldn't be outside any longer, I head back in, sucking in a deep breath to clear away the prickle of danger. I am being ridiculous. Mind racing and nerves on high alert, the cold chill runs bone deep. I run upstairs to grab a sweatshirt, finding my purple hoodie on my bed and pulling it on right away without bothering to remove my little bag. I'll take it off when I settle into the couch. Right now I just want to hurry and snuggle under the blanket and wait for Guy.

I grab my mug of tea from the counter before heading to the couch in the living room. I pull out my phone and send a little heart to Guy, knowing it might be a while before he can talk. Tossing the pepper spray on the coffee table and grabbing the remote as soon as I've got the blanket over my legs, I work on putting something on to stream. I take a sip of my tea, closer to room temp than hot. Whatever.

Scrolling past one option after another, I can't find anything I want to watch. Sipping luke-warm tea and scrolling streaming channels becomes the activity instead of landing on anything to watch.

A strange sensation hits me out of nowhere.

Numb fingers.

I look down at my hand, having trouble focusing. I blink, trying to push the woozy feeling away. And right before my eyes droop shut I'm aware of one feeling above all others.

Dread.

Foggy awareness is all that's left once my eyes shut. Floating. Spinning. I think I hear something rough but I can't open my eyes to see what it is.

Warm air blows into my face. I smell cigarettes, the scent flooding me with memories from my childhood.

Sitting on the porch steps. My mom sitting in a rocking chair, smoking. Waiting for Axe.

I'm aware of my heart racing, but it feels far away. Everything seems so out of touch.

My body floats up. Voices argue, feet crunch. Then my body is slammed down somewhere small, cold walls surrounding me. The floating stops but new motion starts. Swaying. Bouncing. It's rough and loud.

But still, I can't open my eyes.

Then the darkness pulls me down even more and there's nothing.

Everyone is gone.

***

Cold.

So cold. It's the first thought I have. My head hurts. But my body is still numb. The movement has stopped. The noise is gone. But I'm so cold, that's all I feel.

Little by little, my mind comes back to me.

When I'm finally able to open my eyes, I wish it hadn't.

Dingy walls, cracked and bare of warmth or life face me. My arms are bound. Legs too. The bed I'm lying on is familiar. It's all frightningly familiar.

Waking up in a familiar room, tied up with ropes I believe I've been tied up with before.

A nightmare. It must be. I'm remembering something else from that night. Something new I hadn't pulled up from the deep recesses of my mind until now.

I look around the room with my limited mobility.

But soon realize the nightmare is all too real.

I hold the scream in my mouth, the one that wants to fly free. But it might call the monsters in, and I don't want that.

My heart races. My mind cannot comprehend what my eyes are seeing. It can't be. I can't be here. This can't be real.

But, oh. I think it is.

I thought I'd escaped that night. Until my nightmares found me in the dark and dragged me back to hell.

Oh...shit.

I'm telling you, these writing sprints are GIVING ME LIFE! My goal is to complete this book by July 31, so hang on to your hats!

https://youtu.be/C19InkgElIE